The Color of Courage (19 page)

I turned on my phone and waited for it to acquire a signal. Then I waited to see if I had had any calls. There’d been seven. Five unknown numbers that I assumed were reporters or worse. One from my mother, and one from my sister, Sarah. I returned her call, still standing on the lighted steps, not venturing away from safety. It was stupid. There was no one out there—I’d see their auras. But if they
were
out there, all their emotion directed at me so they weren’t visible empathically, I was near the police. Who weren’t convinced of our innocence but would do their jobs if I was attacked.

I hoped.

“Daley! Are you okay?”

Her voice was such a relief I started to cry for the second time in twenty-four hours.

“I’m all right. I need a ride.”

“I’ll be right there.”

“You don’t know where I am.”

But she’d hung up. And she probably did know where I was. She was that kind of person. Organized, forward-thinking, prepared. It was why she’d been promoted at that job, and why a lot of guys didn’t work out for her. She was the total opposite of Becca, who never knew where anything was except the boys who surrounded her, whether she had a steady boyfriend or not.

I allowed my irrelevant thoughts to continue their path away from my situation. It kept the fear at bay. Sarah pulled up twenty minutes later and honked. I ran down the steps and climbed into the passenger seat so fast I hit my head on the doorjamb. I fought through the stars to close my door and put on my seatbelt. The car started moving before my vision cleared, and I panicked until I could see Sarah at the wheel. Then I sagged in relief.

“Thank you for coming to get me.”

“Shut up. I’m your sister. And it’s the smart thing.” She glanced in the rearview mirror. “You need a temporary safe house, somewhere people won’t be looking for you or hounding you for at least a few hours.”

“I’m not sure your place is the right one. The reporters will figure it out.”

She checked the side mirrors, then turned quickly down an alley, out the other side, and took two quick lefts so we were heading in a different direction. “We’re not going to my place. I have a new boyfriend. He’s cool,” she assured me. “No one will connect you to him, as long as we’re not followed.”

“How do you know he’s cool?”

She smiled, her aura so happy and confident I didn’t even need to hear her answer. “I’ve known him my whole life. It’s Jason.”

Of course. He was one of those geeky, best friend/sidekick/loyal puppy kind of guys a woman could grow up to appreciate. As far as I knew, Sarah hadn’t seen him in years except at neighborhood gatherings, since his parents still lived across the street from ours.

“That’s great. I’m so happy for you.” I kept my gaze on the side mirror, though there was no one behind us. No one we could see.

She flashed a grin and made a few more zippy turns, then spun into a parking garage and up three levels before screeching to a stop. Jason leaned against a Honda hybrid tucked between two big black SUVs. I climbed out of the car slowly, watching Sarah dash to Jason and kiss him hard before motioning me over. He was calm like Adam, his caring for my sister adding a glow to his aura. When he looked at me, he didn’t go blank, but remained constant. He was doing this for Sarah, and had no feelings for me one way or another. It was the best assurance I had that I was safe.

“Daley, you remember Jason.” She curled into his side, beaming at us both, so proud of herself and high on the excitement of the game. I wished I could share her elation.

“Of course. Thank you for your help.”

“No thanks necessary.” He gave me a quick squeeze before turning to unlock the car, and I found I had a grin for my sister, after all. He’d grown up nicely, wearing comfort and confidence that had to have been hard-earned. She deserved to have found him again. I just hoped my needs, and his help in meeting them, wouldn’t jeopardize what they were building. It was still very new.

“Maybe this isn’t right,” I started to say to Sarah, who scowled at me.

“It’s perfect. You won’t be there long. Just enough time to regroup and meet up with the others to plan your defeat of the evil villains.”

“Let’s hope it’s as comic book as you make it sound. The good guys always win in the end. Thank you.”

“That’s what family’s for.”

I hugged her hard, then watched her drive away before joining Jason in the hybrid.

He lived in Virginia, so the drive was long enough that I actually drifted off to sleep. Even in DC there’s not much traffic in the dead hours between bar closers and commuters, and we were both pretty certain we weren’t tailed. I’d turned off my phone so it couldn’t be traced. I woke about five minutes before we got to his house, noting where we were and what was around.

Jason pulled into his garage and closed the door before we got out of the car. I followed him inside where he showed me food to help myself to, a small bathroom to call my own, and a spare bedroom I could hide in.

“Sleep, eat, contact whomever you need to—that phone is secure.” He pointed to a landline next to the bed. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re not here. Unless you need something, then just holler.”

“The phone is secure?”

He nodded.

“Why?”

His easygoing smile turned sly. “I work for Hummingbird.”

Whoa
. Hummingbird was a security company so large, successful, and secret that everyone knew about them. The founder was famous for working with the government without being under government control. I had no doubt that phone was secure. And so was I.

I relaxed for the first time since I arrived at Adam’s all those hours ago.

“Thank you, Jason. I won’t stay here long. I don’t want to endanger you.”

He shook his head like I was five and had said something precocious, then shut my door behind him as he left.

I called Adam’s cell phone and got voicemail immediately. I left only my number, then settled back on the bed to wait.

A soft jingle woke me. I was groggy enough I knew I hadn’t been asleep long, and it took me a minute to realize it was the phone.

“Hello.” I let my head drop forward onto the pillow. My eyes wouldn’t stay open.

“Daley.”

“Adam. Thank God. You okay?”

“Yeah. I was the last one released. Where are you?”

“Safe. My line is secure.”

“Good. But mine’s not. Meet me where Summer decided you were going to join HQ. Eight hours. We need rest. Can you get there?”

“Yeah.” If I could figure out what he was talking about. “Where Summer decided we were going to join HQ.”

“Where she decided
you
were going to join, Daley.”

“Got it.” I didn’t, but I would. I fumbled the phone into the cradle, set the alarm for six hours, and immediately dropped back off to sleep.

That didn’t last long, either. I got up after drifting in a mind-racing daze for four hours, showered, and changed into clothes I’d found resting on the sink, a soft white T-shirt and navy running pants that I recognized as my sister’s. I went downstairs and made myself a sandwich. I saw Jason nowhere, though I knew he wouldn’t have left. I wrote him a note thanking him again, didn’t sign it, and amused myself by wiping my fingerprints off everything I could remember touching. Then I left.

Because I didn’t want Jason to be associated with me at all, I walked several blocks to catch a bus and rode around for an hour or so, thinking.

The commotion at the precinct, my “escape” after release, and my fatigue had allowed me to avoid thinking about what broke inside me back at Adam’s apartment. I’d noted Sarah’s and Jason’s confidence with detachment, because I no longer had any.

I had read Evan and Summer wrong.

I remembered now, back when we first became roommates in college. She mentioned once, and only once, that she and her father didn’t speak, and she was sad because her mother had sided with her. She never said anything about a brother, and maybe that was because his betrayal had hurt the most. I could see their love for each other as they talked—or yelled and pleaded, as it were. Identifying the light purple emotion as longing made so much more sense of everything. They longed to reconcile, but Evan’s role and knowledge held him back, and Summer’s anger was a shield keeping him away. Her derision whenever I mentioned his interest in her fit, and I couldn’t believe I’d been so stupid.

But the worst part was that if I read
that
wrong, I could be mislabeling so much more.

I’d spent my life identifying the emotions I saw, making connections between them, analyzing them. For the past ten years, I’d believed it concrete. I could see degrees of emotion, even determine what generated them. I’d also received plenty of validation. But even that could be wrong. People could be confirming emotions I identified without being correct themselves.

This couldn’t be happening now. I couldn’t go into battle, endanger my team, not knowing what value I could bring. Second-guessing everything I saw. Failing, in deadly circumstances.

I had to tell Adam.

I’d figured out what he meant by “where Summer decided
you
would join HQ.” Coincidentally, it wasn’t far from Jason’s house. I changed buses when the hour approached, using my last few dollars for the fare, and got off on the correct street ten minutes before the meeting time. The street had changed a lot. Hardware, shoe, and clothing stores had given way to trendy gift boutiques and coffee shops. I was afraid our shop wouldn’t be there, or that it would be unrecognizable and I’d go to the wrong place.

But it was there. Relieved, I went through the screen door and paused to let my eyes adjust to the dimmer light. The counter fronted by shiny, vinyl-topped stools ran down the right-hand side of the shop, and matching booths lined the left-hand wall, with Formica tables in between. The place was deserted, except for the soda jerk behind the counter. With his bald head and white cap he looked exactly like the counter guy in
Back to the Future
.

“What can I getcha, ma’am?”

I didn’t have any cash left and didn’t want to use a card. “I’m meeting someone. I’ll wait for him.”

“Whatever you like.” He went back to wiping the counter.

As I stepped away from the door to sit in a booth, it opened behind me. I knew who it was before I turned, and gratefulness warred with disappointment when Evan said, “Can I buy you a root beer float?”

Chapter 17

I barely turned. “Where’s Adam?”

He shook his head a little, indicating the open door. I knew he was stalling. He wouldn’t be standing there so casually if he’d been followed, or if I had.

“Sure, you can buy me a float. And a salad while you’re at it, if you don’t mind. I haven’t eaten much in two days.” Just the sandwich at Jason’s, which had already worn off.

Evan went to the counter to order and I found a seat in the booth farthest from the door. I sat facing the front, knowing Evan would want that seat and was probably better trained to use it. But I couldn’t leave my back exposed.

A moment later, he joined me, surprising me by sliding into my side of the booth. Positional problem solved. I wished they were all that easy.

“Adam’s okay, isn’t he?”

“He’s fine. He’s with Auberginois, arranging for equipment and intel.”

“Do we know what’s going down?”

Our low voices seemed intimate, even in the wide-open room. When Evan shook his head, then turned to thank the counter man who brought our drink and food over, his hair brushed my cheek. Evan set the float between us and adjusted the two bendy straws. It was perfect. We looked like old-fashioned lovers, right down to his leather jacket. We could stay close enough to talk without looking furtive if anyone came in, and could both see the door if they did. Evan even picked up my hand and held it on his lap, just like he would if this were a date.

I wished it was. I wished I was normal, so that doubting someone’s feelings was par for the course instead of an aberration that frightened me.

I wished I hadn’t been so glad to see Evan when I’d been hoping to see Adam.

That was it. No more wishing, or any other pointless fretting. And definitely no more feelings. I deliberately locked them all away in the compartment I used when I worked, making myself taupe. Then I raised the blocks that allowed me to ignore other people’s emotions. From now on, I was operating on fact and logic, and nothing else.

“Auberginois is using his contacts to get information for us. All we know now is that it’s going to be big, and it’s going to be soon.”

“Where is everyone else?”

“They’re scattered, but coming together. Trace spent the night in a hotel in the city. Kirby and Adam were released together and went to his mother’s place. She had to go to Florida for the week, on business. Frank picked up Summer and probably went to his new apartment.”

“Was I foolish to hide?” I couldn’t help asking. No one else had seemed afraid to be located.

“No, better safe. We don’t think any of you are in direct danger, because CASE wants a big, attention-getting event. They staged the day care thing to put you on the defensive, keep you occupied while they set up their end game. But we really don’t know what they’re thinking for sure.”

I sipped the soda. Sweetness exploded on my tongue. “Why would they go to all that trouble? What if we were kept in jail? Wouldn’t that be opposite to their plans?”

“Not necessarily.” He fed me a fry, then prodded me to pick up my fork and eat my salad. “They just wanted to slow you down. Maybe you were getting too close. There wasn’t much chance you’d stay in jail.”

I ate a few bites, waiting for him to elaborate, and found him watching me. He met my eyes for several long seconds, then lifted his burger the rest of the way to his mouth and broke the connection.

“I showed the cops footage of the M Street rescue and the day care fiasco side by side. They couldn’t match the latter to any of you at M Street. It looked like two men and a woman, all the wrong heights. And the woman had red hair, which none of you do.”

“That was stupid.”

“Or deliberate.” He bent to sip from his straw at the same moment I did mine, and we both stopped, inches apart. I saw Evan’s eyes on my mouth and licked my lips. He came closer and paused. I didn’t move. He closed the remaining space and kissed me softly. Not long, but sweet, and our mouths clung when he drew back.

“What are you doing?” I whispered.

“Feeding you.” He picked up a cherry tomato from my plate and pushed it between my teeth.

I chewed it, swallowed. “Why? If there’s no direct danger, why aren’t we going to the real meeting spot?”

He sat back, breaking the connection between us. I straightened, confused, and turned back to my salad.

“You needed to eat,” he said softly. “Adam had planned to meet you here, but when he couldn’t come, he sent me. He said you wouldn’t have eaten much and would keep going until you collapsed unless I made you stop.”

That all sounded like Adam, except the sending Evan part. “Why you? Why not Trace? Or just call me and tell me where to go?”

“Your cell phone’s off.” He didn’t smile. “No one else was close enough. And I insisted.” He leaned forward again and said in my ear, “I wanted any moment I could get with you, Daley. Any moment that we’re not battling terrorists and Adam’s not trying to make you fall in love with him.”

I shivered, both from his breath and voice in my ear, and from his words. The incongruity made my head spin. Not just being courted while in the middle of a national-security-level mission, but being courted by two men when a month ago, I couldn’t even hold on to one.

I don’t know what Evan thought of my lack of response, but he resumed eating and we said no more until we were finished. He paid at the counter and we went outside to a car parked directly out front. I didn’t ask where we were going, and he didn’t offer. But somehow, I wasn’t surprised when he pulled the car behind a bar a few miles away. He parked next to a Dumpster and we entered the back door of the bar, then climbed a set of narrow stairs to a dingy room that overlooked the alley.

I’d never been here, but I knew what it was. This bar was where Trace and Adam had been right before they saved their first citizen. The bar owner knew them well and let them use this room as their first headquarters. Adam and Trace still came here from time to time, to hang out with their old friends and be nostalgic. Trace liked basking in the hero worship, I suspected, but Adam did it to remain grounded in his past. And now we’d returned to our roots.

No one else was here, but marks in the dust on the floor showed that the desk, chairs, folding table, and all the equipment on them had arrived recently. I went to the desk and booted up the computer while Evan wandered the room with a small electronic tool that I assumed was checking for bugs. I examined the software on the computer and surfed the Internet for news stories about us, most of which now reported our release and reduction in suspect level.

Evan stopped wandering and settled on one of the cushioned folding chairs. I knew he was watching me and pretended to be engrossed in what was on the screen. It didn’t work.

“I was afraid what happened the other night would be changed by what I had to tell you,” he said.

I didn’t even try to make sense of that. “What are you talking about?”

He leaned forward and braced his elbows on his knees. “When we slept together. What did it mean to you, Daley?”

I switched off the monitor but stayed where I was, the barrier of desk and equipment making me feel more removed from him and therefore safer than I’d been in the soda shop. But I didn’t answer, because I didn’t know.

“I was an outlet,” he offered. “You needed escape from what had happened.”

At least partly true, so I nodded.

“And afterward?” He wasn’t going to let me leave it at that.

“Afterward, you were gone.” He didn’t apologize or offer an excuse. He just waited. “I wished you hadn’t left,” I finally admitted. “But I honestly don’t know if I only needed the moment or if there was more.”

“
Was
more. So there isn’t now? Because of Summer, and my secrecy?”

I looked toward the stairs, but they were old and creaky and we’d have plenty of notice that someone was coming. I wasn’t going to get saved by interruption.

He stood and started toward me. I threw up a hand. “Stay there.”

He stopped. “Why?”

“Because.” I scowled at him. “Why are you like this? Most guys are not like this.”

“I’m nowhere near most guys, Daley.”

Of course he wasn’t. I wouldn’t be so attracted to him if he was normal.

I cocked my head. But he
was
normal. He wasn’t like me, different from the general population. Different like Adam. But he lived in a shadow world, disconnected from real people in his efforts to rid the world of villains, and that wasn’t normal, either.

I backed up my thoughts and addressed just his original question. “No, Evan, what you revealed yesterday doesn’t change how I felt after we had sex the other night.”

He smiled at me, but it wasn’t a happy smile. “But.”

I lifted my arms, palms up. “But? I don’t know any more than that. I don’t know you outside the context of this situation.”

“But you’ve known Adam. And for a lot longer. I’m up against some pretty strong walls, Daley, I gotta tell you.” He walked to the front of the desk, slid the monitor aside, and leaned his hands on the desk so he was right in front of me. I could have easily moved, but I didn’t.

“Don’t think this is over.” He rocked forward and gave me another soft, heartfelt kiss like the one at lunch, then retreated to his chair.

This time I was saved from having to react by the clatter of footsteps on the stairs. Summer entered first, followed by Adam and Kirby. I stood and hugged Summer hard, while Kirby made a sound of pleasure and took my seat at the keyboard.

“You okay?” I whispered.

She nodded, her chin digging into my shoulder. “I haven’t talked to him in years, Dale. But the hole death leaves is so much different.”

“I know.”

She released me and went to her brother, hugging him just as hard. “Why didn’t Mom tell me?” she asked, arms still around his waist.

“She didn’t know until a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t get to tell you all of it yesterday.” He sat down with her. Adam remained standing by the door, I perched on the edge of the desk, and we all listened.

“Dad’s team believed CASE was more radical than the legislation they were pursuing, and they investigated for a year before I was called in. Right before the final op of the Chicago heroes, he was killed. The police found him under the El and said it was a drug situation.”

“He would never take drugs!” Summer burst out.

“No, they thought he was investigating a drug syndicate. We knew differently, but weren’t allowed to reveal our existence, never mind set the record straight.” He rubbed his hand over his face, and a haggard look came over him. I knew if I tuned in, I’d see his grief and despair again, but I was afraid to open myself up.

“I was trying to settle his affairs and find you and Mom when I was assigned to San Diego. I knew he had Mom’s number and address, that he contacted her once in a while, but I hadn’t found it when I got reassigned, and I couldn’t take his papers and stuff with me. Then the zoo thing happened, and I was temporarily released. I found her in Ohio and went to tell her about Dad.”

Summer was trying to hold it together, but it was an obvious struggle. Adam handed her a box of tissues from the folding table, and I was struck by his thoughtfulness. There wasn’t another reason to have bought those. He either knew the rest of the story, or just anticipated her grief reaction.

“So when you told her?”

“She fell apart. I had to have her admitted to the hospital, she was such a mess. Before she was discharged and was well enough to talk to me, things had started happening here.”

Summer blew her nose and tossed her tissue to the trashcan. “All right, enough of that. No more tears.” She sniffed hard and shoved her hair back off her face. “So what’s the situation? Who else is from your agency?”

Evan shook his head slowly. “I’m it. They’ve got people stationed elsewhere, in case we’re wrong about DC. But we’re small, and made smaller.” His voice dropped. “Dad wasn’t the only death.”

“Okay.” She drew in a long breath and looked from Evan to me and very obviously not at Adam. “What about you and Daley?”

He rubbed his jaw. “It’s up to her.”

Kirby swiveled and punched my thigh. Adam headed for the stairs. “I’m going down to wait for Trace.”

Summer whispered into Evan’s ear. He excused himself to the bathroom. As soon as they were gone, Summer rushed over and she and Kirby bombarded me.

“What the hell is going on?” Summer’s voice, whether from intense gossip excitement or from her earlier crying, had gone all squeaky.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Kirby punched me again.

“Ow! Stop that.” I rubbed my thigh.

“Summer found you wrapped around Adam so tight you were almost the first thing ever to penetrate his skin, and Evan say’s it’s up to you, and you don’t know what we’re talking about?”

“Oh, that.”

They both punched me, and I couldn’t help my grin. Everything else aside, it was a rush having two men wanting me. A rush that lasted only a few seconds, because “everything else” wouldn’t stay aside.

“Trace always said Adam had a thing for you but would never act on it,” Kirby said. “Who started that kiss?”

“He did.”

“And let me tell you, that was no tentative, let’s-feel-this-out kind of kiss.” Summer fanned her face and neck. “That was pent-up passion. How long has it been going on?”

“Since yesterday. Seriously,” I added at their crestfallen looks. “It had been brewing, but he wouldn’t let himself tell me. He almost did when he was in the hospital after M Street, and then in the park he decided he couldn’t, because his feelings for me could make me a target.”