The Color of Jade (Jade Series Book 1) (38 page)

Tears brimmed in my eyes as my jaw trembled. “I tried to get away! I couldn’t… Damian said he would shoot you!” My body shuttered as I sobbed into his chest. I gripped his shirt and clenched it into my fist as he smoothed his hand over my hair.

“I knew you were out there somewhere. I’m sorry I couldn’t find you.” My eyes grew heavy and I let them close. I didn’t want him to let go as my panic waned and I breathed a ragged sigh. “I will to everything in my power to make sure they pay for this, Jade…”

I looked up at him, his jaw clenched tight full of restrained rage as resolve formed in his eyes. He met Gage’s dogged glare, equally filled with hate while he worked on Trey. I shuttered at the sight of them.

“Kane…This building takes up this side of the block,” Joel said, as he came from a dark hallway. We all looked at him and I wiped the tears from my face. “We can get out at the side. We have cover over there. Just past the next block is the park. We’re meeting them there. We have both sides of the street covered there so the only fire we should get will come from behind us.”

“Let’s get the hell out of here, Jade,” Kane said, then gave me one last squeeze and released me. “Ready to move, Trey?”

“Yeah,” he said, his breaths grew more erratic.

With a grave look, Joel glanced at Trey as the blood soaked through the towels. The tightened vest against his chest with the towels, helped hold pressure on the wounds. Kane and Casey got him ready to move and helped him up, then each strapped one of Trey’s arms over their shoulder as we moved through a long dark narrow hallway to the other end of the abandoned building. Blinding light filtered in through the glass doorway at the end of the hall.

We took on little fire as we moved out of the building and past a barricade of cars. Men crouched behind them, some alert, guns drawn, scanning the rooftops. Others watched in the surreal moment as we walked past.

I clenched my arms around myself as I began to shiver. A drop of moisture landed on my arm. The icy cement, suddenly noticeable against my feet. I willed them to move. Each step took us closer to the park. A light rain started to fall. I glanced up. Thick grey clouds choked out the sky.

A voice cut across the hand held radio and I glanced at Joel as he reported our location.

“They're almost here, five minutes,” he said.

After all that, we had to sit and wait. Sporadic sounds of gunshots and the battle behind us in the distance.

Trey might not have five minutes. They laid him on a picnic table. He clenched his jaw tight as his body shook uncontrollably. He must have been in serious pain and it tore at my heart to see his condition. Overwhelmed, I watched him stunned as he lay there struggling to breathe, struggling to stay conscious, and thought about how that should have been me.

“Trey?”

I watched Kane as he removed the saturated towels and placed new ones under the vest around him. The bleeding slowed to my relief.

“I’ll be okay.”

Gage walked past me and I watched as he paced. “What day is it?” I asked.

“December fourth.”

He stood next to me. His own blood and Trey's stained into the fibers of his shirt. I touched his injured arm but he shrugged me off.

“It’s okay,” he said, as he glanced at the wound. Thick blood streaked down his arm.

I felt helpless. I couldn’t do anything for Trey and Gage didn’t want my help. I turned to walk away.

“I’m sorry… come back… I’m sorry I snapped at you. I shouldn’t have… But, I told you not to stop!”

“But I couldn’t watch them shoot you right in front of me!” I yelled, on the verge of tears as I whirled around to face him. “What was I supposed to do?”

“You were supposed to stay under the cover of the car! You could have been killed!” He yelled back.

I couldn’t stop the constant flow of tears anymore as they filled my eyes and ran down my cheeks. “Yeah I know! I could’ve been killed!” I paused, “I could have been killed a thousand times, while locked in that jail but I wasn’t! I’m
still
here!”

I didn’t know where my anger stemmed from or why, but I went off. Gage leaned against the table with his legs crossed at the ankle. Being on the receiving end of my rage, with his hands braced against the table behind him, he listened.

“Why? I don’t know? I’m still here and now you’ve been shot, Trey is hurt and how many are dead? How many died trying to get me out, Gage? I know of at least five! I watched them die. How am I supposed to feel about that? Am I supposed to be
happy
that I’m still alive? Because I feel terrible!” My voice trailed off, undeserving and remorseful. “They all have someone waiting for them to come home tonight, and now because of me, they never will.”

I brought my hand up to my forehead and rubbed it. My head hurt. I realized all of them watched me, not just Gage.

“I don’t mean to sound like I don’t appreciate what all of you have done… Or, that I’m not glad to be out… Because I am… I just… I don't want anyone to die because of me. I'm sorry…Thank you … All of you.”

My chin trembled as I got blank stares from the remaining five men, those closest to me, the ones whom I loved. Endless thank you’s would never be enough to express the gratitude I had in my bruised heart for these men. The risks they made for me, evident in their exhausted, worn, beaten bodies. I walked through this battle, for the most part, unscathed, and I didn’t deserve them. This was all too much for me to take anymore. I took a deep breath and filled my lungs as I stumbled over to a nearby tree and collapsed behind it. Gage followed and stood over me.

“Don’t look at me!”  I covered my face with my hands muffling my voice. “Just go back over there.”

“I’m not leaving. I’m staying right here,” he said, as he knelt in front of me. “I’m going to touch you now… Don’t get scared… Please.” He gently pulled my hands away from my face. His words hit home to how much I really didn’t deserve him.

“I don't want any of this! Why does it have to be this way! I am so mad! Tell me this isn't happening!”

“I’m sorry. I know that I have no idea what you went through. The last hour probably doesn't even compare to the last five months. Even from the times when I talked to Casey and Denny… when we were planning how it would go down, neither one of them could, or would tell me what was happening to you… I knew it had to be bad if they wouldn’t tell me. When you came out to help me, I just didn’t want to lose you now after everything that’s happened.”

“There was only one thing that made everything inside bearable… And that was, if I could make it out alive, then I would be able to see you again. You kept me alive, Gage… You! I can’t lose you either, I couldn’t sit there and watch you get shot right in front of me. I won’t survive losing you again.” I choked on the words as I rested my head on his shoulder, the weariness heavy in the tones of my voice.

“I'm a fighter, Jade. It's in my blood. My dad died fighting a war that wasn't his war to fight. He fought for someone else's freedom, in a whole other country. War has been around as long as man has. It’s the beast in us… I’m sorry…You've just been sheltered by it until now. If there is anything worth fighting for it's what Joel… Kane, Trey… all of us have sworn to protect now. The ones we love, our own freedom, our own safety, our own home and country.”

“I can't take any more of this.”

“You're wrong, beautiful…”

His words hung in the air and left me anxious and insecure. I didn't feel beautiful, I didn’t feel strong.

“You just don't want to because you would rather find the good in people than pointless killing. That's just how you are. None of us asked for this, but it's here and we need to put a stop to it. If we don't, no one else will. If I could, I would take you away from all of this, but I can't. You may not feel it right now, but you're strong. I know what kind of fighter you are. You are going to get through this and come out stronger.”

“Gage…”

“If anything ever happens to me… I need you to be okay. You have to, for me. I will die for you, Jade. If that’s what it takes to bring you peace.”

He put his arms around me and I held on to him tightly as I shook my head. The tears fell again at the realization of how much I needed him.

“You can’t… That will not bring me peace.”  I felt whatever energy I had left leave my body as he squeezed me and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. I hugged him back as I fought the surge of unexpected panic inside me. I took a deep breath and forced the exhale. “If you’re not here, I don’t want to be either. Don’t leave me here alone.”

“I’m not leaving you,” he paused, his voice warped from tears, his body shook with emotion as his strong arms held me close and pulled me into his chest. “Ever.”

I let my head fall against him with the beat of his heart next to my ear. I closed my eyes and sighed. My breath wavered as the jitteriness inside me calmed to a gentle buzz and he smoothed his hands over my skin.

“Jade… You ready to go home?” Gage asked, his voice, soothing and comforting in my ear. The rhythmic hum of a truck motor grew louder as it pulled next to us. A man jumped out and ran over to Trey and the others.

“Home?” I suddenly realized I had no idea where home was. The thought terrified me. The very word
… home…
I’d held to such high standards. A place of refuge and comfort, a place that should always be familiar and safe, a place full of memories that became lost when the world became so suddenly foreign. Yes, I was scared because I didn’t know of that place anymore.

“Yeah,” he said.

“What does that even mean? Where’s that?”

“What do you want it to mean? Does it matter? As long as we’re together, it doesn’t matter to me, where home is. Life will be what we make it, Jade.”

“No, I guess it doesn’t.”  It didn’t matter. Whether it was Mississippi, Mexico or within the restraints of Little Creek, I didn’t care, as long as he was there.

“Do you want to find out… where home is?”

I looked up at him with his hair saturated from rain as moisture beaded on his face. His blue eyes suddenly hopefull and full of life, ready to take on a broken world. Myself, just a shell of who I once was. I gave him a weak smile, the only response I could offer him.

“What do you say, beautiful?” He said as he picked me up and carried me towards the truck. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and tucked my head safely in the crook of his neck. “Yeah, Gage… Take me home.”

CHAPTER 1

The months I spent confined with tortured restraint and strict punishment hung heavily over me in a crippling haze. Jarring gunshots and flashing blasts continued to ring in my ears as a reminder of what we just went through and I tried to force them out of my mind. Gage said we were going home. My home lay in a pile of ash. I had no home. How would I go back to life as it was before, I wasn’t sure what that was anymore?

I collapsed onto a mattress in the covered bed of the truck. Gage spread a blanket over my weakened body and pulled it over my shoulders, but I barely noticed the cold. Light specks of snow, flurried gently from the white sky and landed on the window, dissolving into liquid. I watched in a daze as moisture accumulated with the increasing snow then trickled down the glass. The steady hum of the truck engine rumbled to life and the spray of moisture echoed loudly from the undercarriage as it sped forward.

My breaths puffed in a white cloud and dissipated into the air above me as I rolled over and curled up next to Trey. His brows scrunched together into a painful contortion as he moved stiffly to his side and let his arm fall over me.

“It’s over, Jade… We made it out,” Trey whispered. His jagged breaths scared me as he attempted to mask his grimace with each breath he took. His eyes heavy and distant from increased lethargy as his body trembled with shock. He sounded weak and the lack of focus in his eyes confirmed my dread. They rescued us, but the fight for Trey’s life began.

“What about the others in the jail Kane? The Mayor’s in there,” I asked, as I kept my weighted stare on Trey. His eyes drifted closed and I glanced at Kane. The white sky glowed in a halo of light around his dark hair, the look on his face, far from angelic as restrained anger etched into his tense jaw. His icy blue eyes as cold as the weather outside as he sorted his frustrations in his mind.

“We’re working on it, but it might take a few days to completely secure the jail.”

The hope of a rescue from the jail had dissolved weeks ago for me. I never thought it would happen and expected at any moment for Damian to barge into my mind with his sneer and physically pull me back into the darkness. My freedom from Damian didn't feel real and to hear Kane's voice seemed out of place.

Fragmented thoughts muddled through my mind, tangled in a web of bristling fear and numbing shock. Trey had to be okay. Was my dad out there somewhere? Morrison seemed to think he was. Damian would not let this go. As much as I wanted it to be, I knew this battle wasn’t over. I could see it in Kane's eyes.  No, Damian would never allow us to forget, allow me to forget. I smoothed my tongue over my chapped lips to soothe them, and then tried to swallow around the knot in my parched throat. The future, as bleak as it was, was too much to think about.

I let my mind empty as my eyes drifted closed, heavy with the burn of dried up tears and toxic smoke along with the remnant effects of the drug. I felt Gage behind me and I relaxed back against him. My skin twitched slightly. His hand moved over my hair as he brushed it off my face. He paused for a moment then continued as I relaxed under his touch. I felt myself drift in and out as the motion of the truck, the constant hum of the motor and the steady sounds of men’s tired breaths rocked me to a restless state of unsettled sleep.

I vaguely heard Kane as he talked to Joel about Trey’s injuries. He said he had lost a lot of blood. I jumped with a start and looked at my brother as the conversation registered. I listened to his ragged breaths, increasingly shallower by the minute.

“Hey, Trey,” I said. He opened his eyes and they rolled as he tried to focus.

“Hey what,” he said with a weak, raspy voice then gave me a faint smile. His eyes drifted closed and I propped onto an elbow up next to him.

“Trey! Wake up!” I said louder. “Stay with me, please.” A tear rolled down my cheek and landed on his shirt. I nudged him as he drifted in and out of consciousness.

“I feel weird, Jade. I don’t know if I can… I’m sorry, I’m not...”

“Yes you can!  You can’t leave!” I cried. “Don’t say it.”

It grew deathly quiet as I looked around at the stoic expressions of the men around me. The only sounds heard were the sounds of my cries over the hum of the motor. None of them would look at me as if they already knew what I refused to accept.

“We promised them… we would watch out for you and Emery…”

“Mom and dad also said we needed to stay together. I don’t think they wanted you to die doing it.”

I looked over at Kane. I needed his reassurance. He looked worn and beaten like the others as he stared blankly out at the road. Kane’s silence spoke volumes of how desperate Trey’s situation was. Nothing more could be done except get Trey to Dr. Walstrom as fast as we could, and even that might not be enough.

I shook my head. “Why?” I asked. “What about what’s important to me. I don’t want any of you to die… can’t we just leave, go somewhere else where-“

“Jade…" Trey interrupted. His voice very weak but insistent. "Some things are worth dying for. Our world got ugly, fast... None of us asked for this… but dying was a risk I was willing to take."

"But…"

“I’m sorry,” he said, then drew in a sharp breath and winced at the pain. His brows tensed then he looked back at me. “I might not make it… My wounds are pretty bad.”

“Of course you will. Don’t say that.”

“I haven't given up the fight yet, but if I don’t, just know that for me… I can die happy. Knowing you made it out, away from Damian and knowing that they won’t be hurting you anymore… I didn’t need to make it out... I just needed to know that you did, that you were going to be okay.”

“But they tortured you too. And I needed you to get out with me.”

“Not like they tortured you, Jade,” he answered quickly. “They beat me… But they never drugged me… I didn’t have to go through what you went through. They wanted me awake, to hear you tortured,” he said. The truck lurched to a stop as we pulled up to a house.

“You were close by?”

“Yeah… Before you went to the compound… After Damian brought you back.”

I looked around as the engine shut off and Joel and Kane pushed open the shell door then jumped out the back. “Where are we?” I asked Kane. A rush of bitter cold air blew into the back of the truck and stole my breath as he pulled down the tailgate. I shuddered at the cold as a wave of goose bumps rippled over my skin.

“Gage and Joel’s house.”

“Why?”

Kane paused to look at me briefly then pulled the mattress down to the end of the truck bed. It slid effortlessly against the smooth ridges "There's nothing left of our house, Jade… we are staying here."

"Oh."

Trey groaned as Casey and Gage moved him and I watched as he writhed in pain. Elias ran out from the house and glanced at me shocked then pulled his eyes away to help Kane and Casey carry Trey into the house.

The numbness I felt earlier seemed to dissolve as the icy metal of the tailgate bit my bare feet and the naked skin of my legs as I scooted to the edge. I shivered as I curled my legs to my chest and pulled the blanket tighter around me. Gage moved past me and jumped out with little effort as dizziness swam in my head and a wave of exhaustion rushed over me. Every breath took effort as if I just ran for miles and I rested my head back against the shell as I looked at the white sky. Snow fell sideways in heavy clumps blanketing the path to the house as Kane and Casey's footsteps already faded with a thin layer of white. I glanced at Gage who moved in front of me with a weak smile that faintly masked the worry in his rich blue eyes as snow collected in his dark hair and on his shoulders.

"I'm going to carry you, okay?"

"Thank you," I nodded, as he slipped his arms around me. His warmth instantly melted the cold as he pulled me close and I curled my arms around his neck. His breaths fanned hot against my cheek as I rested my head against him.

Joel had radioed ahead for Dr. Walstrom and Marge, and they were there when he carried me through the front door. I watched as they placed Trey on the bed in a bedroom just off the front living room. Dr. Walstrom removed the vest and cut off Trey’s shirt to expose his wounds. My breath stilled in my chest at the sight of them as Gage set me down and I leaned against the doorframe to watch.

Marge hesitated. Stunned by my appearance then she pulled me to her. I clutched her tightly as the realization that I could lose Trey became more than possible. I looked up at her with pleading eyes to give me some kind of reassurance that he would be okay. Her eyes, overflowed with tears and I recognized the fear she had for him along with the months of worry and anguish she’d harbored for us. She went to say something then stopped, unable to speak. Her chin trembled as she brushed my disheveled hair off my face.

“Marge,” Dr. Walstrom called out from the room, “I need bandages.”

“I better get back to Trey, Jade. We’ll do everything we can,” she said, and I pulled away from her as she backed into the room and shut the door. I rested my head on the closed door to the room with a faint thud and the tears quietly fell. Gage stepped up behind me.

“Jade…”

I turned around and looked at him with heavy eyes to see his, hazy and worn. His once white shirt stained red from blood and blackened from ash and debris.

“You’re shot,” I said. His skin, black as his shirt, charred with ash and marred with streaks of dried blood down his arm.

“I’m fine,” he shrugged.

“We should clean it up,” I said, and grabbed Gage’s arm as I turned to go into the kitchen then stopped as I looked around. I had no idea where the kitchen was.

“It’s this way,” he said, then led me into the kitchen. Twice the size of the one I grew up in and beautiful with designer tile, burnt almond, knotty alder cabinets and black granite countertops along with its modern stainless steel appliances, everything useless to us now. The electric stove, pushed to the side in the far corner. A wood burning stove took the place of the electric one and looked like it didn’t belong. But now, with wood and old newspaper stacked to the side and boiling pots of water that littered the surface it was the most important thing in there. I wondered where it came from.

Gage winced, favoring his right shoulder as he removed his shirt. The wounds, charred black with dried blood caked around them, had already started to close inside and I hoped infection wouldn’t set in. One of the bullets entered through muscle and tissue on the backside of his shoulder and went clean through to the other side, exiting right below his collarbone, barely high enough to miss his lung. The second one, in his upper arm. His muscles tensed as I felt softly for the hard lump of a bullet and felt what I thought to be it, embedded deep in his muscle against the bone. He winced when I touched it.

Marge walked in, carrying some bandages. “Marge?” I pleaded for her to offer some kind of direction on what I should do. “The bullet is still in his arm.”

With a fleeting glance, she looked at us, then at his arm. Her face a ghostly white, her expression flustered and distracted. “You’ll have to get it out,” she said, then poured hot water from a pan into a basin of antiseptic and left it to cool. She spread out two clean towels next to two still folded on the table, then with tongs plucked surgical tools out of a boiling pan and set them on the towels. She handed me a washcloth then rolled up the tools into one of the towels, leaving me with a few and hurried towards the door. “What about something for pain?” I asked her before she made it out of the kitchen.

She glanced at me. Regret swam in her eyes as she pushed against the swinging door with her behind and started to back out. “I don’t have anything… I barely had enough for Trey.”

“But… Marge,” I whispered, more to myself than to her. My insides churned with panic at the thought of digging around in Gage’s arm with a sharp instrument.

“Jade,” he said, “she needs to help Trey.”

“I know,” I said, as I glanced at him, the dread on my face, probably no less evident than the bullet wounds in his body.

“You can do it,” he encouraged as I washed my hands in the sink. I glanced at the gray soapy bubbles around my skeletal hands as I rinsed them clean under the cold water. They trembled almost constantly, a trembling that went systemic throughout my insides. I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold them still. I looked at Gage, my eyes heavy with dread and exhaustion.

Steam rose in the air with the strong sterile scent of antiseptic as I wet the cloth. The hot water felt good on my hands as I rung out the water. “This might sting,” I said. His muscles tensed as I touched it to him and let it soak. Gently, I wiped over his shoulder and worked my way down his arm. Jagged, raw flesh where the bullet pierced through his body appeared as I washed the dirt and blood away. The wound a bright red, inflamed and puffy.

My arms grew tired after only a few minutes of holding them up. “Will you sit?” I asked.

“Ya,” he said, and then pulled out a chair. The wooden legs scraped, sounding something like nails on the chalkboard screech against the tile floor. I shuttered at the sound as goose bumps traveled up my neck and into my hair, my senses heightened, overstimulated.

With a deep sigh he sat in the chair, his knees bounced slightly with what I assumed was dreaded anticipation as I picked up some hemostats. My heart hammered in my chest as I fumbled with them, trying to press through swollen tissue to get to the slug. Blood pooled in the wound then seeped out and dripped down his arm. His eyes closed as he gripped the armrests, his arms went rigid and his breaths increased as he tried to work through the pain. I dug deeper in search for the slug and he groaned through his teeth so I stopped.