The Coming Storm (15 page)

“This sexy little shifter that, oh gods, so hot. He was visiting to help the coven with some structural enforcement project where the foundation was old or something I didn’t fully understand. But yeah, this cute, young blond that I fell for right away and wanted desperately. He was inexperienced and so wounded, family drama or something, and I just wanted to heal his heart as I—”

I couldn’t hear anymore. I grabbed the door handle and stumbled out of the Hummer so fast I almost fell head over ass. Aurelo called after me but I wasn’t listening. I wasn’t sure what I was doing or where I was going until I saw Julus. Then I raced over to him and skidded to a halt a few feet in front of him, ignoring the worry in his eyes directed at me.

“The shifter you dated that stayed at your coven to help with the structure. Did he look like me?”

Julus blinked at me in shock a few moments before nodding as his eyebrows shot up to his forehead. “Yes, actually. You’re a little taller and your eyes are different but yeah.”

“Chicago, what’s wrong?”Aurelo asked as he caught up to me, leaning down to hug me.

I didn’t even mean to do what I did next. I wasn’t thinking. I just reacted as I felt pain shoot through me as if I’d been stabbed in the back. Spinning around, I slapped him across the face.

“You don’t love me. I’m the replacement for what you couldn’t have,” I whispered in horror. Mostly from the realization but partially that I’d just struck him.

“I didn’t know you had been into Paolo,” Julus hedged, immediately catching on to the situation.

“He loved him,” I informed Julus as I took a step away from Aurelo, recognizing we had a crowd of my brothers now. “A young, blond little shifter who was temporarily helping your coven that was inexperienced and wounded from family drama that he wanted to heal. He fell head over heels with from the beginning.” Aurelo went pale as he realized why I was so upset finally. “Sound like anyone we know?”

“No, Chicago,
please
, no. That’s not what I meant. I had been smitten with Paolo but I’d barely talked to him. I didn’t mean how I love you. I meant puppy love.”

“Cute,” Seattle snarled.

“
Fuck
! I wasn’t being a dick,” Aurelo shouted before reaching for me. I took a few steps further away and wrapped my arms around my waist.

“Don’t touch me. Don’t ever touch me again,” I choked out, swallowing back tears. “Apparently my taste in men hasn’t gotten better with age. I’m still just as big of an idiot. You were just using me too.”

“No, I wasn’t, Chicago, I swear it. I was never even with Paolo. I had a crush. That’s not the same as what we have. I never even
thought
about him until you brought up Julus! Please, Chicago, don’t do—”

I interrupted him, turning to Seattle. “We need to go. We’ve been here too long and the humans could have figured out we didn’t go south or west.” Then I glanced at Milwaukee and Orlando. “Can I trade spots with one of you guys, please?”

“Yeah, I’ll trade with you,” Orlando agreed, probably not wanting Milwaukee by Aurelo now that we’d found out he had a thing for small, emotionally wounded, blond shifters. “Let’s head out.” I nodded and headed towards the vehicles.

“Chicago,
please
,” Aurelo begged me as he reached for me again. “This is a misunderstanding. I don’t want that guy. I want you. I would take a week with you over centuries with him. I love
you
.”

He kept repeating the same but different variations, even as I grabbed my bag from the Hummer I’d been in and walked to the other one, never saying anything. I paused after opening the back door and not looking at him, finally replied at least.

“I wish I still believed that, Aurelo. I just don’t. I saw your face when you were talking about that guy, like he hung the sun and the moon. That’s how you look when you love someone. I see that now. You look at me like you’re about to get laid and I was too stupid to tell the difference.”

Then I got in without another word and closed the door in his face. We pulled away with him still standing there. They would catch up. It wasn’t like they didn’t know where we were going after all.

I just didn’t know if I cared anymore.

9

We lost a whole day of driving north to change up our route and throw anyone off our potential trail. Add to that the stop Aurelo had requested which ended up being over an hour. Add to
that
we were all exhausted since we’d been going so long already and we were stopping more often too. Napping in the Hummer, even something as spacious as that, just wasn’t the same as real sleep.

And we had planned on sleeping that day and driving at night so we were all kinds of screwed up. We just kept pushing because we needed to put as many miles between us and a possible threat of arrest or trouble. Then we could crash for a day or so.

I couldn’t even nap though. I sat in the passenger’s seat mostly working through all the data I’d gotten. Milwaukee had decrypted the packets through the program I’d designed on my laptop but he hadn’t had time to do much more than that and pull off what they had deemed the most pertinent information.

When trying to not think about what was at the forefront of my brain, I’d come up with another idea though… Breaking everything up into packets for the different countries. I mean, wolves in Poland would need to know specifics about what European governments had planned. The calendar I’d found was very detailed for America. Sure, there were dates about two and three months out as to when things were to be done, but not the
how
s of it all.

That I might be able to get through all the communications between the different countries and branches of the government.

So that’s what I worked on, not talking to anyone, resting, or breaking more than to stretch my legs or use the bathroom when we stopped. Sure I’d grunt or give one word answers if asked a question, except when it was Aurelo or Seattle. Them I wouldn’t even acknowledge and just turn away from.

Childish? Probably, but I couldn’t deal with them. It was better than saying something I might regret when we were facing a task that could almost certainly end up with us dead. I saw it hurt Seattle and maybe I wasn’t being fair, but for now, none of my brothers were pushing me, knowing it took me a while to process when I was upset and to just leave me be.

“So I get why you’re pissed at Aurelo of course,” Julus hedged from the driver’s seat hours before we were finally going to stop, twenty hours later and not even to Kansas City yet. “It’s none of my business of course, but I was just curious as to why you’re pissed at Seattle too. I mean, the man can make a saint curse so there’s
so
many possibilities when it comes to that man. That and I thought maybe you’d want to talk just not to big brothers.”

I glanced over my shoulder and saw Boston and Milwaukee out for the count, curled up against the windows of their seats, trying their best to get comfortable in any way they could.

“Seattle gave me what I thought was good advice at the time, and I took it, but now it’s bitten me in the ass because of how things went with Aurelo.” I sighed as I closed my laptop and set it on the floor. Then I scrubbed my hands over my tired eyes. “I’m not being fair to him but I just keep thinking this wouldn’t hurt so bad if I hadn’t listened to him.”

“No, it would. I’ve been there and it would.” Julus shot me a tight smile that clearly said he knew from experience. “What was the advice?”

I glanced at Julus and read his emotions. Not like a book but part of being a dog shifter was like canines, we were really good at being able to gauge people when we paid attention. I just didn’t normally pay attention. But just like a dog could tell if someone was moral or wanted to do a person harm, shouldn’t be trusted, we were pretty good judges of character. We could sense it really.

“To tell Aurelo how I’d want things to be between us if we didn’t have all
this
going on. I kept saying I couldn’t promise him or commit to anything and Seattle said to not make the same mistake he had. To at least let Aurelo know what was in my heart because Seattle had been where I was once.” I kept watching Julus, paying close attention to his reaction as I tested out a theory.

He swallowed loudly as his knuckles turned white on the steering wheel. “I’m sure your brother has been in that position lots of times. He’s pretty old and tends to put everything and everyone in front of what he wants or needs.”

“He didn’t make it seem like it was more than once. He was really broken up when he spoke of it and you know how hard it is for Seattle to open up.” I kept my voice even as if I wasn’t pushing him to accept my point. “He told me that he kept saying he couldn’t promise them anything more than today with all his commitments and responsibilities to his job, family, and everything else he had on his plate.

“And that ended up being why he lost the man. He said he’s regretted it ever since.” The Hummer swerved slightly as Julus’s head snapped in my direction before focusing on the road again. I pretended not to notice. “And that if Seattle could turn back the clock, he would have told the man what he would have wanted with the guy and let him decide if Seattle was worth adjusting his life to make it happen.”

“He said that?” Julus whispered in a broken voice as I saw a tear run down his cheek in the subtle lights of the console.

“Yeah, Julus. I don’t know what happened between you guys but you obviously still love my brother.”

He cleared his throat and wiped his cheek. “How did you know? Did he say it was me he was talking about?”

“No, but neither of you are as subtle as you think,” I snickered. “The looks you give him when he’s not looking and asking about him. Plus, things my brother has admitted like when we got to the coven and him saying he wanted to call you when Mom and Dad died. I’ve never seen him be so vulnerable. He’s been”—I licked my lips and tried to think of the right word—“softer since around you.

“Giving me love advice, looking crushed when you rode with Boston because you were pissed at him. And I saw you yelling at him yesterday while Aurelo and I were, um, yeah, before that blew up. You looked ready to break down and I’ve never seen Seattle’s shoulders slump like that or his head hang like that, dejected almost. What happened?”

“Tit for tat, I guess.” Julus glanced in the rearview mirror to check they were still out in the back. “He said your family was considering Director Fabian’s offer of coming back to the coven after we’re done in DC. You can’t go back home and trying to weather this on your own would be suicide. Plus he wanted you happy with Aurelo and knew you liked our director. So he was asking me if I was okay with that with our past.”

I sighed as I turned in my seat slightly. “I guess not then.”

“As you figured out, I still love him,” he whispered as if worried that his voice would crack if he spoke any louder. “I think I will always love him. Would you want to be around someone you will always love but can’t have? To watch him with other men? Him being around would keep me from ever moving on. But having him and your family is good for the coven and might keep us alive. So do I really matter in the grand scheme of things?”

“Yes, but you’re missing something huge, Julus.”

“What? That I should find another coven? Believe me I’ve already been thinking about it. I’ve almost called Director Fabian a dozen times. I just don’t know which one would be better and I know I don’t trust another leader to make the right choices that will keep us alive with what’s ahead.”

“No!” I gasped as I clutched my heart. Now I didn’t feel bad for sticking my nose in their business. Seattle would never forgive himself if he’d driven Julus from his coven and into the cold with the coming storm brewing. “You can’t leave. That would kill Seattle. He still loves
you
, Julus. That’s what you’re missing.”

“No, he never loved me, Chicago. That was the problem. He wanted me and he really wanted me not to ever be with anyone else.”

“You’re wrong. I’d bet you anything that if you walked up to him and asked him he would tell you yes. Hell if you gave him conditions to taking him back, he’d do them.”

He bit the inside of his cheek for a moment before glancing at me. “Really?”

“Yeah, Julus. I know my brother. He hides his feelings, but don’t forget I’m his blood and a malamute shifter. We have a keen sense of knowing what the people around us feel. Experts always say for people to trust their dogs if they like a person or not. We just know.”

“I’ll think about that but I think you should listen to your own advice.” I didn’t say anything and after a minute he continued, explaining himself better. “You knew what Aurelo felt for you was real then, Chicago. The malamute in you would have sensed if he was lying or deceiving you.”

“I get the logic but it doesn’t always work when doing it for our own stuff. We’re not the best judge of our own lives because we’re too close.”

“True but your brothers wouldn’t have let Aurelo anywhere near you if
they
sensed he was playing you. And Seattle telling you to bare your heart to him? That should tell you a lot.”

Now
that
did give me pause. He was absolutely right. Holy shit! “I’ll have to think about that. Thank you.”