The Commitment (The Unrestrained #2) (36 page)

I felt his face and stroked his cheek, imagining his handsome features, his blue-blue eyes, his dark arched brows. "I
liked
it when you fucked me hard and fast."

He kissed my neck. "You did, didn't you?"

"I did. I could have come very easily, if you’d let me."

"I had to do something to punish you. I figured since you liked the erotic spanking, I'd have to deny you a second orgasm."

"You're so mean," I said, totally joking. "It didn't hurt," I said. "It seemed to make the whole area like one big erogenous zone."

"That's the purpose of an erotic spanking. The nerves in your ass are deep under a layer of fat and it takes an erotic spanking to stimulate them. They're so close to the nerves in your pussy and clit that the whole area becomes stimulated when it's spanked. Plus I love watching your nice round ass jiggle. A woman's ass is so desirable. Delicious. If a woman's body, if her belly and ass are too lean and muscular, it's more like a man's body. I like a womanly ass with a bit of jiggle in it. Makes me hard, in case you didn't notice."

"I noticed," I said, grinning.

"
V
ive la différence
, I always say. You're petite and luscious." He kissed me again, his lips curving up in a smile beneath mine.

"Are you ever going to take off my blindfold?" I said.

"I don't know. I might keep you in bed all night and day with that on, doing all kinds of things to your body that you can't see and can only feel."

"
Mmm
," I murmured, smiling. "That sounds very hot."

"It does, does it? Have I created a monster in you, Ms. Bennet? An insatiable sex goddess?"

"
Insatiable sex goddess
," I said, grinning like an idiot. I reached out and felt his face, slipping my hands behind his head, pulling him down for another deep kiss.

Finally, he pulled the blindfold off and leaned over me, his face serious, his blue eyes intense.

"Kate," he said, his voice soft. "I don't want another night like tonight. I can't handle it. You have to follow the rules of the agreement. I'm going to have to be stricter with you, until you do so without thinking. If I'm going to control you, I have to control
myself
. If you're going to submit, you have to trust me completely. Only then will we be truly happy."

"I will," I said, my voice breaking from emotion. "I don't want another night like tonight either. I can't handle it." I pushed a hank of his dark hair behind his ear, and searched his eyes. When I looked in his blue ones, I felt an incredible surge of warmth for him. He knew his own power, he was aware of his strength, and he wanted to control himself to make us both safe.

"I
will
follow the rules," I said, my breath catching in my throat. "I didn't think you wanted to, because you never really have been very dominant with me. I thought you wanted a relationship with me that was more than D/s and sex."

"I
do
," he said and stroked my cheek. "But I've been single, for all intents and purposes, for five years. The only relationships I've had with women have been purely D/s. No emotion." He didn’t say anything for a moment as if fighting with himself. "But with you…" He inhaled deeply, his gaze moving over my face. "If I'm going to let you in, I have to trust you. That means you tell me everything when it comes to sex. That means when ex-boyfriends hit on you at fundraisers, you tell me right away. You have to follow the agreement completely. Will you?"

I looked in his eyes. He was this amazing intense intelligent incredibly erotic and dominant man. I wanted him in my bed and in my life.

"No."

"No?" He frowned.

I shook my head. "I want to amend our agreement."

He pulled back a bit, his eyes wary. "What do you mean?"

"I
want
," I said and ran my finger along his very square and scruffy jaw. "I want the option to get fucked first thing in the morning occasionally, when I need it and when you can spare the time."

His eyes flashed and then he leaned his forehead down to mine and smiled.

"Consider it done."

We kissed again, lying together with our limbs entwined, the moonlight flooding in from the window.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

The next morning, Drake gave me a soft kiss on the shoulder and left the bed for his morning shower.

I stayed nestled in the bed, moving over to the spot where he had lain, enjoying the scent of his pillow – his cologne and his body scent. He came back in the bedroom when he was finished with his shower, a toothbrush in his mouth, toothpaste on his lips. He tried to talk to me with a mouth full of foam.

"I'll be gone all morning," he said. "I have an appointment with the oncologist and then a lunch meeting. I've got things to do at the Corporate office. Won't see you until later."

I sighed. "I've got to finish the canvas so I'll probably spend the day at the studio and come back here when I'm done."

"I'm glad you're painting," he said. "If the oncologist says Liam's in the clear, we're free to go to Africa but I'll have to wrap up my work on the board and at the Foundation."

"No, I understand." I smiled although I would miss him. After the disaster of the previous night, I felt a need to cling to him to make sure he still wanted me. Even him leaving and staying away all day felt like deprivation.

"You're not trying to avoid me?" I said, my voice almost a whisper.

"What?" He frowned and pointed the toothbrush at me. "Hold that thought." Toothpaste almost dripped down his chin and so he ran to the bathroom to finish. He returned sans toothpaste and lay on the bed beside me.

"Ms. Bennet, I am not trying to avoid you. Liam's getting tested this morning to see if the transplant is working and so my mind will be occupied with how it's going. I need to keep distracted all day. I have work to do and that will keep my mind busy so I don’t ruminate too much on all the possible things that could go wrong. As a doctor, I already know what those possibilities are and so you can imagine how my mind is working, imagining them all." He touched my bottom lip and leaned down to kiss me. I pulled away and held a hand over my mouth.

"Morning breath," I said, offering him my cheek.

"Lazybones," he said. "That's why you should get up when I do and shower with me." He kissed my neck instead of my cheek, and then moved down lower and moved the strap of my nightgown down so that my breast was bare. He squeezed my breast and took my nipple in his mouth, sucking softly for a moment. I groaned in delight.

"If I did, I'd get all aroused and want you to fuck me."

"I said I would – on
occasion
."

"I'll hold you to it."

A grin spread on his lips. "Ms. Bennet, you can hold me to
it
any time you want." Then, he covered my breast and kissed my cheek. He pulled me closer into his arms.

"Kate, I know this is a big commitment, coming with me to Africa. Giving everything up that you built here, even if only for six months. I know you're concerned about what our relationship will be. I'll tell you what it will be – you're collared. You're my life partner. There's nothing else short of marriage that is as binding or as serious."

"I don’t really understand what collared means," I said. "I'm so new to all this."

"I know you are, but you have to know I'm serious about you. I want you and only you, from now on. I want us to be exclusive. Bound to each other."

"I want that, too."

He inhaled deeply. "Do you think you can trust me enough to tell me everything? Even things you think will upset me? I need you to trust me that much for this to work. I don't think you do yet."

"I want to," I said. "But we've only known each other for such a short time…"

"I know, but it’s been enough time for me to know you're all that I want."

"You were so willing to think I'd cheat on you, Drake. That upset me."

"It was foolish. I wasn't thinking straight. I know you'd never do anything like that. I had to work like a dog to get you to even kiss me that first night…" He grinned at that, his cheek curving. "Most men would have already given up."

I laughed. "Not you."

He shook his head. "I could feel you were different that night at your father's fundraiser. It was like you could change everything, if I let you in. That scared me, after my first disaster of a marriage. But I can't imagine a life with anyone else but you."

I buried my face in his neck, my chest feeling like it could explode from my emotions.

"I love you, Kate."

"I love you."

We kissed, the kiss warm and deep. Then he touched my collar and smiled.

"Gotta go," he said. "Or I'll be late for my meeting with the oncologist because of my not-so-small problem." He took my hand and let me feel his erection, which was nice and thick. I squeezed him and closed my eyes.

"You sure you don’t want to stay?"

"
Katherine
," he said, frowning. "On the days I can stay and you have that look in your eye, I
will
stay. I said I'd accept your amendment to the agreement and I meant it. Today is not a day I can."

"Sorry," I said, my face flushing.

"It's OK," he said and kissed my lips in spite of my efforts to avoid him. "I want to stay. Once I'm done, I'll text you. We'll do something special tonight."

I smiled and watched as he rolled off the bed and finished dressing. Finally he went to the hallway and pulled on his coat before returning to the bedroom, bending over me to kiss my neck once more.

"I'll see you later, Ms. Bennet. Be waiting for me."

I smiled, a thrill going through me.

The door closed with a soft thud and I was alone once more.

I spent the day at the studio, finishing the second canvas, putting the final touches on it. I'd keep the first canvas private, hidden in our bedroom while the second might just be the first I did in a series. I wanted to paint Drake in every possible setting and position. I hoped he'd agree to be my subject, my muse.

Instead of eating with Keith and Nathaniel and Jules as I thought I would, I was feeling pretty emotional from the events of the previous day and went to meet my father for lunch at a little restaurant that was a 50s replica. He'd been at his campaign office signing checks for his staffers and wanted us to meet somewhere for a meal.

We sat at a table along the windows and enjoyed his favorite meal of breakfast for lunch. Eggs, pancakes, hash browns and bacon. I watched him eat, and he was frowning as if he was deciding whether to bring something up.

"What is it, Daddy?" I asked finally. "You seem like you have something to say."

He glanced up, his expression distant. "Oh, do I?" He pursed his lips and picked up his mug of coffee. "I guess I was wondering how things were between you and Drake. I saw that picture in the Mail and wondered what happened."

I sighed. "I didn't tell Drake I saw Kurt at the fundraiser and he found out only when Dave Mills called and told him. We had a big fight about it. I think we were close to breaking up."

He nodded. "That would be a shame. I can tell you two love each other."

"I was wrong. I didn’t think it was important enough to tell him, and I didn’t want to upset him, make him jealous especially when he's under so much stress because of Liam. It was a mistake. I should have told him right away."

"Honesty is the best policy."

"It won't happen again, believe me."

We ate in silence for a moment. Finally, he spoke again.

"What did flyboy have to say? Was he as much of a jerk as he was before? I really had bad judgment with him."

"Drake told me you were acting as matchmaker between us. I had no idea. I thought I'd met Kurt accidentally. Here you'd been angling to get us together all along"

"You needed some help finding a man. You're so shy, and then after Mangaize, I thought you needed something to bring you back to life. I thought Kurt was the one. I should have been pushing Drake instead, but I thought he might be too old."

"What changed?"

"I realized how truly good Drake is."

I smiled. "He
is
good, Daddy. Just complicated."

"We all are in our own way. As long as he cherishes you and treats you well, I'm glad to see you two together. You have to be your own woman, Kate. As long as that's what Drake wants, you have my blessing. So, what about Kurt?"

I sighed. "He seemed a bit better. He apologized for being a jerk. He even used that word."

My father smiled. "He's not a bad sort," he said, forking some hash browns. "A little bit immature for you. Drake's better for you, all in all."

"Why do you like Drake so much?" I asked, honestly wanting to know why. "Not that there's any reason not to, but I'd like to hear you describe him from your point of view."

He swilled the coffee in his cup thoughtfully for a moment. "Drake's solid. He's a man, not a boy. Women mature faster than men so you're ready for someone like him. Mature, strong-willed, certain. He has ethics. He's very smart and skilled. He's loyal." He shrugged his shoulders and grinned. "What's not to love?"