The Complete Groupie Trilogy (101 page)

She saw the pain flash across his face. She touched his hand with her own. “I believe you really loved Andy,” she said. “We’ve all loved someone more than they could love us in return,” she said. “It sucks but the sad truth is you can love anyone at all in the world. You just can’t be with everyone you love.”

His eyes met hers. Had she not said that Mitchell was her high school sweetheart? Who had been Maggie Fowler’s unrequited love?

When her eyes darted from his, he suddenly understood. Why she had never left… why she had hated Andy… why she had temporarily moved out of the house when he chased – again – after Andy like a stray dog, and why she had moved back in when he finally had to let Andy go. He relieved every moment like a burst of light in his brain. How blind he had been. He had almost missed it all. “Maggie…” he started but she glanced at her watch. “It’s almost midnight,” she said.

“Then I don’t have much time,” he said before he pulled her close. Her eyes widened as his head bent toward hers. His lips captured hers in a sweet, tentative, questioning kiss. With a small sigh she found herself submitting to it. Her hunger was raw and real, so he deepened the kiss as his hand wound itself in her hair. He was breathless as they broke apart. “Mags,” he muttered against her ear before he nuzzled her neck.

Every nerve ending went up in flames. She had wanted him for so long, it was almost like a dream for him to be kissing her or wanting her, for the ghost of Andy to be finally exorcised. It was her name he whispered, and it was the sweetest word Maggie had ever heard.

“We probably shouldn’t do this,” she whispered half-heartedly as he kissed his way back to her full lips. “You’re my boss,” she reminded.

He grinned. “You’re fired,” he said.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” she said before she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with all the lo
nging she had been suppressing.

Graham motioned for the check.

The drive between West L.A. and Malibu seemed agonizingly long as they stole kisses in the car on their way home. After he pulled into the garage, he took her by the hand, grabbed a blanket, and walked out onto the sandy beach that was his back yard. He pulled her down next to him and their mouths found each other, hungry for just one more kiss. They lay together, completely clothed, kissing and touching and exploring like the new lovers they were, without crossing that invisible barrier that would have led them both to his bedroom in the house.

Eventually his need demanded reevaluating this strange, new set of circumstances. This wasn’t like a normal date when he could drop her off at her home and take a cold shower till the next time. They lived together. Until about an hour ago they worked together. They were going to have to reorganize everything; otherwise it had the potential of blowing up in their faces. He lifted his head up on his elbow and looked down at her. “So where do we go from here, Maggie?”

She touched his face with her fingers. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “I want you, but… I need to be sure that you’re not just using me to get over her.”

He nodded. He understood. “You call the shots, Mags,” he said. “And if you say so, I’ll walk – hunched over – to that house and stay in a cold shower till morning.”

She laughed as she hugged him close. She wanted to tell him she loved him, but stopped herself before the words finally broke free. Her mouth sought his and he was unwilling, and unable, to deny her.

That night they went to their respective bedrooms – alone – but as each fell asleep, the memory of their night, and the possibilities of their new beginning, fulfilled them in ways a fevered one-night-stand never could.

Maggie sent a special thanks to the Universe for her fairy godfather, Jorge.

He really had proved magical.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Los Angeles, California

May 21, 2011

Holly sat on the top of the examination table at her OB/GYN’s office. She was in week 26 of her pregnancy, much farther than she’d ever been in any of her other pregnancies, and as such each day felt like she was walking a tightrope over a pit of cobras. Her scare after Julian attacked her over a month ago had been followed by intermittent spotting, and just that morning she had started to bleed.

Worse, the baby was not as active as he was. Holly was in a panic as she rode in a taxi toward the doctor’s. She hadn’t told anyone, not even Vanni.

So her heart was in her throat when Dr. Pintu entered the office. He gave her a reassuring smile. “You have a very common condition called placenta previa,” he said. “Happens once in every couple hundred pregnancies. The placenta has grown over the cervix, which is why you are now starting to bleed.”

“Is it dangerous?”

“It can be,” he said honestly. “In a normal pregnancy, the placenta attaches at the top of your uterus by the third trimester to allow for delivery. In your case, the placenta has grown all the way over the cervix, which is considered complete, or total. Since it is unlikely to change, in this case I would recommend you have a C-section to deliver your baby safely.”

“Whatever it takes,” she said.

“Odds are you will continue to bleed spontaneously throughout your third trimester, and it can be severe. You may even experience contractions. The idea is to hold off delivering your baby until he is closer to term.”

“Of course,” she said. “But what can I do?”

“I’m going to put you on pelvic rest. That means no sexual intercourse, no vaginal exams. Nothing inserted into the vagina at all. Also, I’d advise bed rest. No strenuous activity.” He smiled. “Let them take care of you for a while.”

She nodded, but didn’t see how it would even be possible. If she hadn’t been such a chicken and allowed Vanni to come with her, maybe he would have moved her into his house to make sure she was OK.

Even has she had the thought, she dismissed it. She knew he’d never move in with her. He had tried to convince her to let him hire an assistant to do all the things he didn’t want to do for her since he was busy with Andy and his other baby. So far she’d kept him at bay, terrified that an assistant would actually spy on her and report Julian’s drug use to Vanni and the
y’d all wind up on the streets.

Again.

Dr. Pintu continued. “If it gets too bad, or if contractions start, then we’ll admit you to keep an eye on things. Right now everything looks fine enough to send you home. That’s more comfortable than a hospital,” he said as he patted her knee.

Mor
e comfortable, but not as safe.

From that first taste of heroin, Julian had been a shell of his former self. In the music, with the band, it helped to be angry and aggressive. At home, he took all that out on her. He had forced himself on her more than once, and she hadn’t been able to stop him.

What was she going to do now that sex could actually put her or her baby at risk?

She was still fretting over it when he got home that evening. She was in bed, too afraid to even get up to pee. He wasn’t happy to find her lounging around like some queen he’d have to bow down to.

He bowed to no one, especially a woman.

“Enjoy your day, princess?” he sneered as he peeled off his shirt.

“I went to the doctor,” she said.

“So?” he asked as he went into the bathroom, and she knew just what he was going to do there. “Julian, can we talk?”

“Not now,” he said through the door. “Leo’s coming over. We’re going out.”

She rolled her eyes. That would lead to nothing good. “Julian, it’s important.”

He didn’t respond and she knew why. She closed her eyes and prayed for strength. Could she kill a man, especially a man she’d known since she was a child, to save her son?

She thought about the kitchen knife she’d stuffed under the pillow and knew with all certainty she could.

But Julian didn’t come out and attack her. Instead he put on a nicer shirt just as Leo knocked on their door. He had a full bottle of whiskey in his hand and was ready to party. Fortunately for Holly, they decided to do that away from her.

She pulled out her phone and texted Vanni. “
Need to see you. Please come
.”

Within an hour he showed up on her doorstep. She didn’t answer, so he pushed open the door. “Hol?”

“Bedroom,” she called.

He wore concern on his face when he saw her. There was something wrong – she wore a panicked look in her eyes like he’d never seen before. “What’s wrong? Is it the baby?”

She shook her head. “He’s fine,” she said. “For now.”

Vanni came over to sit next to her on the bed. “What does that mean?”

“I went to the doctor today,” she said. “I’ve been bleeding off and on. Today was bad. I was scared.”

Vanni took her hand. She was trembling. “Why didn’t you call me?”

She shook her head. “I’m so scared of losing this baby, Vanni. I can’t go through it again. I’d rather die.”

“What’d the doctor say?”

“My placenta has grown over my cervix. It’s going to cause me to bleed all the way through my third trimester. It may even cause me to go into pre-term labor.”

He stood and went to her closet. “We’re going to check you into a hospital,” he said.

“No, the doctor said everything is fine right now. I’m just on bed rest.”

Vanni returned to the bed. “So I’ll hire you a nurse. You can’t be here alone. Julian’s working, I’m working. You need someone to take care of you so you can rest.”

She nodded, tears of relief streaming down her face. She knew she couldn’t fight him, nor did she really want to. “Thank you,” she said.

“Of course,” he said as he sat back down and took her hand in his. “I told you I’d do anything to help.” He glanced to the nightstand where there was a bottle of water and a half-eaten apple. “Are you hungry? You want me to make you something to eat?”

She started to tell him no, but then reconsidered. “Sure.”

He gave her a big smile before disappearing into the kitchen. She rested her head against the headboard. All the worry she’d had seem to fall from her shoulders. Julian would surely keep things together if there was a paid nurse there to take care of her. The only thing he cared more about than his drug was the money to buy more – and that’s how he still regarded her baby. It was a ticket to everything he wanted.

She could only pray that would be enough to keep him sane until she could safely deliver her son.

Vanni brought her soup filled with healthy veggies, which she practically inhaled. She had been so worried all day she couldn’t eat anything for fear of throwing it back up again. He laughed as he watched. “Junior’s hungry,” he said as he reached over to rub her firm, full stomach. She was so tiny it seemed their baby was taking her over.

Holly nodded. “We could really go for some ice cream too,” she said with a grin, and Vanni was happy to comply. He fussed over her to the point she had to beg him to leave. She wanted him to stay, but it was just too risky. If Julian returned with Leo, the jig was up. He’d never be able to trust her again and would leave her to her devices, and who knew how crazed Julian would be if he got kicked out of the band – again – because of her selfish choices?

“Okay, I’m leaving,” he said as he bent down to give her a friendly kiss her on top of the head. He caressed their son, reassured by the tiny kick he felt in response. He hadn’t even met this little person yet, but already he had come to mean just as much to him as his little Bean. He couldn’t wait to hold him, and he would do whatever he could to keep him safe. Vanni sent her a stern look. “And next time you call me. No matter what happens. Okay?”

She nodded. “Thank you, Vanni,” she said softly as she reached for his hand. She wanted to kiss him again, but she couldn’t stand being rebuffed as he went back to the woman he truly loved. There would be time for all that later. They were bound for life now through this child. It’d never be over, and she would have to trust that.

The most important thing was keeping her son safe.

Now safety was only a day away, thanks to Vanni.

But Julian had other plans. He came home in worse shape than he left. He was screaming drunk and had taken a handful of Leo’s favorite pharmaceuticals. He smelled like perfume and sex, and she could only guess what kind of nefarious shenanigans they had gotten themselves into.

He flopped on the bed, fully clothed. “You missed a great party, Hol. Expensive booze, music, lots of skinny, young party girls who would do whatever they could to get next to the newest guitarist of Dreaming in Blue. I’m going to be chaffed in the morning,” he said as he adjusted himself.

“I’m glad you had your fun,” she said. “Because I’m off limits from now on.”

He laughed. “Look at you, Hol. You’re as big as a house. There are not enough drugs on the planet earth to get me high enough to fuck you,” he said.

He intended to hurt her with his words, but she was coolly unaffected. “Good. Remember that,” she said as she turned off her light. “Oh, and by the way – Vanni’s going to hire me a nurse. She’ll be here tomorrow to take care of me.”

“Why?”