The Complete Groupie Trilogy (65 page)

There were no doubting Thomases i
n Maggie’s care.

So he took Andy at her word. If – when – he won her back it would be because he was the best man for the job, not pity, guilt or any other number of negative emotions.

His body stirred just thinking about what it would be like to take her into his arms at last. They had waited so long. She had been under his skin since Vegas and he knew that he’d never be satisfied until they were together at last. And she was wrong. It wasn’t because he wanted to “win” over Vanni. He just didn’t want to see her throw her life away on someone who could never give her the life she deserved. All he really wanted was for her to see this for herself so she could get Vanni out from under
her
skin.

It killed Graham to know that Vanni could send one smoldering look her direction and she melted right at his feet. Graham kept waiting for that moment when the flame would finally extinguish so that she could get over him at last. Even with his nearly killing someone, a hooker at that, it didn’t touch Andy’s endless hero worship. To her Vanni was still the ideal.

So, as was always the case, all Graham could do was wait it out. In many ways he and Maggie were very similar. Just as Maggie had to be a supportive, positive force leading him in the right direction for a complete healing, he was that to Andy as well. One day, just as sure as he was that he’d walk again, he knew that Andy would realize what she had in him and they could be together at last.

He could only hope it would int
ersect in the very near future.

His hand slipped under the water to indulge this constant fantasy of consummating his love affair with Andy. Each day he’d get a little further, so he was pretty far along in his solo activity when the door swung open.

“Okay, Mr. Pruney Man,” Maggie sang cheerfully. Her voice trailed off when she realized the kind of personal moment she had interrupted, as he awkwardly attempted to cover himself and regain his composure. “I’m so sorry,” she mumbled as she exited the room as quickly as she had entered.

After several minutes passed Maggie once again entered the room. Graham had pulled himself out of the water, dried himself and covered himself with a plush terrycloth robe. He said nothing as she hoisted him back into his chair and then rolled him into his bedroom. She discreetly left him to dress himself wit
hout a word more on the matter.

Eventually he rolled himself out of the bedroom and toward the kitchen where he knew lunch would be waiting. She busied herself at the counter cutting up fresh veggies to compliment the hearty sandwich she’d prepared. “Would you like your lunch on the deck?” she asked without looking his direction.

“That would be fine,” he murmured before he rolled himself toward the patio doors, which he opened and slid through with ease.

She brought the tray onto the deck. It was a little chilly so she started a fire in the nearby fireplace. He watched as she kept finding more and more chores to do as if it would fill up the awkward silence between them.

“I think we should talk about what happened,” he finally said.

She sent him an embarrassed glance. “Totally my fault. I should have knocked. My apologies.”

“You’ve seen me in more embarrassing positions over these last few months,” he offered with a self-effacing grin. “Besides, it’s perfectly natural.”

She nodded. Without looking at him directly in the eye she forged on through the conversational minefield. “Actually I would venture to say it’s a very positive sign that things are happening… in that area,” she tapered off. “I mean, you’d have to check with your doctor and all but I would think resuming an interest in that part of your life is healthy and natural and positive.”

“Well I certainly hope to regain sexual function whether I walk again or not,” he said as casually as he could under the circumstances. After all, she was more than just an attractive or vibrant member of the opposite sex who had seen him naked almost daily for the last few months. She was his healthcare provider. “I am a man after all.”

She nodded again, as if the very notion of his masculinity was a brand new concept. Maybe he was just a patient before that af
ternoon. “Of course,” she said.

He hated seeing her so uncomfortable. This was as flustered as he’d ever seen her. “I’m sorry, Maggie. I didn’t mean for things to get weird.”

She brushed it off with another embarrassed chuckle. “It’s really more my issue than yours, Graham,” she said before she finally plopped into the chair opposite his wheelchair. “It’s just been a really long time since I’ve thought of men in that way,” she confessed softly. “I’m afraid I’ve regressed back into awkward virgin territory.”

Graham’s heart went out to her. She wore the heartache quite plainly on her sleeve. How had he missed it before? “Was he a patient?”

She sighed as she nodded. “The first, actually,” she said. “He was my husband.”

The revelation dropped like a grenade in the middle of his patio. They had never really discussed her private life before. With a sinking feeling in his stomach he sense
d he was about to find out why.

“He was injured in the war in Iraq. Early on, actually, in 2004. He lost both his legs at the knees. The best we could do to get him mobile were prosthetics. But I didn’t care because he was my husband. For better or worse, in sickness and in health. I started training specifically in this field to help him acclimate to this new life. We even thought about having a family.”

She trailed off. Graham couldn’t believe as his strong, happy, unflappable nurse sat across from him with tears chasing each other down her face. He’d never seen her break, even when he was screaming all sorts of horrible obscenities at her. She smiled and patted him on his lifeless legs and told him to let it all out if it made him feel better. She wasn’t going anywhere.

Now he could see a temperamental, entitled rich g
uy was the least of her trials.

“There were… complications,” she whispered. “He developed a clot in his heart and died of a massive coronary when he was only 36 years old. He simply went to sleep and never woke up again.”

Graham rolled over to where she sat and took her hand in his. “I’m so sorry, Maggie,” he said softly. All her strength and all her positivity had come at such a huge price. Where others might have given up, she instead dedicated her life to helping people just like him. And every single patient that followed her husband walked. Graham knew that was because she had created a miracle out of her sheer indefatigable will. He didn’t remember ever admiring anyone as much as he admired Maggie Lawson in that moment.

Uncharacteristically she allowed him to pull her into a hug and comfort her for a change. She hadn’t cried about Mitchell in a long time, but for some reason the dam broke loose that overcast afternoon. No words were needed, but both seemed to realize they had reached a pivotal point in their relationship.

Instead of seeing each other as a nurse and a patient, they now saw each other as a man and a woman, and all the brilliant dimensions that implied.

The next day he gave even more of himself in their session, pushing himself harder now that he fully recognized the scope of her strength. There were no excuses he could give or pity parties he could throw. If she could show up after all she had been through, it was the least he could do to meet her halfway.

They were rewarded with the miracle they both had been waiting for: his first step. At first neither could believe that it had finally happened, but his leg had moved on its own volition. It had been millimeters only, but it was cause to celebrate. He told her to pick out her fanciest dress. They were going to go out on the town.

Maggie was shell-shocked at his complete about face. He hadn’t ventured past the safe four walls of his home since they returned from Philadelphia. But he was feeling like a man again, like the man he was before the shooting, and he was ready to treat his miracle worker nurse to some of the finer aspects of L.A.

He made all the reservations and hired the car himself. He even insisted on getting himself around in his wheelchair. He told her she was his companion only. They ate at one of the finest restaurants in Beverly Hills, who welcomed Graham back with open arms despite any physical condition he might have been in.

In fact, everywhere they went people treated him like a king. It was red carpet treatment all the way, so much so that Maggie felt a bit embarrassed and out of place. Graham, however, was proud to have her figuratively on his arm as they rolled down Rodeo Drive. He even enlisted her help to pick out a birthday present for Andy, who was due to arrive home within a few days.

She modeled several outfits for him through embarrassed giggles and protests. She really didn’t see how she could help him choose what was best for a woman who was much younger and far different. But he was a hard man to refuse when he really wanted something, so she allowed him to call the shots until they headed back home to Malibu.

The minute she walked into her bedroom she saw several boxes piled high on the bed. She turned around to find Graham sitting in the doorway, looking quite proud of himself with a smug smile on his face.

“What did you do?” she asked as she opened up one of the top boxes. It was one of the outfits she had modeled, supposedly for Andy.

He shrugged. “I just thought you deserved some nice things. After all, you’ve put up with me for all these weeks.”

She put one hand on her hip. “And you think this is going to cover it?” she teased, which made him laugh.

She really liked to hear him laugh.

That night they made dinner together, and finished the evening off watching a movie on his big screen TV.

It was an intimacy she hadn’t known in quite a while. She was lost in thought as she twirle
d the wine around in her glass.

“What are you thinking?” he mused fro
m where he lounged on the sofa.

She glanced up at him. What had she been thinking? She shrugged. “It was a good day,” she finally said.

He nodded. “It was a good day.”

Then, because she had to, “Andy is a lucky girl.”

His eyes met hers. “You may want to tell her that.”

He looked so sad it broke her heart. “She knows, Graham. Deep inside, she knows.”

He shook his head. “Not yet. But she will. When it’s right.”

“How long have you been waiting?”

He sighed. “A lifetime,” he finally answered. “But it’s been worth it. She’s worth it.”

Maggie nodded. “She’ll be real happy to hear you took your first step.”

He smiled. “Let’s keep it our secret for a while.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to do more than take one tiny, incremental step. I want to walk towards her. It’s the only way I’ll be able to offer her my world.”

“You want to marry her,” Maggie said softly.

“I’m going to marry her,” he clarified. “Everything I do is for her.”

Maggie weighed her words carefully. Finally she said, “You have to do this for you, Graham. In the end you are all that you’ve got.”

He understood that she learned that lesson the hard way. He hated that life had dealt her that kind of blow, especially given how truly remarkable she was as a human being. “What are you always telling me? Thoughts become things. As long as you believe, anything is possible.”

She gave him a reassuring smile as he scooted over into his chair and rolled from the room. As she watched him disappear down the hall she realized that was true in almost every way, except for matters of the heart.

In the end no one can make anyone love them, no matter how much they wish it into existence. And that night, for some peculiar reason, the thought bothered her more than it should have. 

She turned off the lights and went to bed.

Alone.

Again.

Chapter Sixteen

October 21, 2010. New York City.

Vanni

He couldn’t believe it as he lay there on that big bed watching her sleep. He kept touching her to make sure she was real and not another sadistic figment of his imagination. He ran a finger along the delicate ivory curve of her back, which was barely covered by the sheet. Slowly his fingers then traveled over the covers to the ample swell of her hip, where his hand fanned out to cup her possessively
. His Andy. His beautiful Andy.

He wanted to wake her with tender kisses along every square inch of her exposed skin, but it was such a sweet moment just watching her dream. In that moment, in their tiny cocoon, nothing could harm them. Nothing could rip them from their romantic daydream and thrust them back into the ugly complications that waited for them beyond a fancy New York City hotel.

He’d have been just as happy to stay in the room for the rest of the trip. He wanted to make love to her and memorize how her body molded against his own. He wanted to indulge all his senses: to smell the hint of her perfume along her neck, to taste her lips and touch her body… to hear her soft whispers as he lost himself inside her eyes.

He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anyone. Just once was never enough. He could have buried himself inside her and never care to withdraw ever again. She was his home. She was his heart. She was his love.