The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (138 page)

town that her eldest son is like you:  she hath been in good case,

and the truth is, poverty hath distracted her. But for these

foolish officers, I beseech you I may have redress against them.

My lord, this is a poor madwoman; she says all around the

town that her eldest son is like you: she has been

in a good position, and the truth is that poverty

has driven her mad. But as for these foolish officers, I

must ask you to let me have my revenge on them.

CHIEF JUSTICE.

Sir John, Sir John, I am well acquainted with your

manner of wrenching the true cause the false way. It is not a

confident brow, nor the throng of words that come with such more

than impudent sauciness from you, can thrust me from a level

consideration:  you have, as it appears to me, practised upon the

easy-yielding spirit of this woman, and made her serve your uses

both in purse and in person.

Sir John, Sir John, I know perfectly well the way you pervert the truth. Putting on confident looks,

or throwing out this fountain of words in such

an impudent and cheeky fashion, will not persuade me

not to consider this case properly: it seems to me

that you have taken advantage of the generosity of this woman, and made her do your wishes both with

her money and her body.

HOSTESS.

Yea, in truth, my lord.

He certainly has, my lord.

CHIEF JUSTICE.

Pray thee, peace. Pay her the debt you owe her, and unpay the

villany you have done her:  the one you may do with sterling

money, and the other with current repentance.

Please, be quiet. Pay her the debt you owe her, and undo the

villainy you have done to her: you can do one with good hard

cash, and the other one with a proper apology.

FALSTAFF.

My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without reply.

You call honourable boldness impudent sauciness:  if a man will make

courtesy and say nothing, he is virtuous:  no, my lord, my humble

duty remembered, I will not be your suitor. I say to you, I do desire

deliverance from these officers, being upon hasty employment in the

king's affairs.

My Lord, I won't take this rebuke without answering.

What you call impudent cheek is honourable boldness:

you think a man is good if he bounced to you and says nothing:

no, my lord, I recall my humble duty, I won't be hampered

by this suit. I'm telling you, I want these officers to

let me alone, as I am rushing about the King's business.

CHIEF JUSTICE.

You speak as having power to do wrong:  but answer

in the effect of your reputation, and satisfy the poor woman.

You speak as if you are entitled to do wrong: live up

to the reputation you claim for yourself, and satisfy

the poor woman.

FALSTAFF.

Come hither, hostess.

Come here, hostess.

[Enter Gower.]

CHIEF JUSTICE.

Now, Master Gower, what news?

Now, Master Gower, what's the news?

GOWER.

The king, my lord, and Harry Prince of Wales

Are near at hand:  the rest the paper tells.

The king, my lord, and Harry Prince of Wales

are close by: the rest is on this paper.

FALSTAFF.

As I am a gentleman.

I swear as I am a gentleman.

HOSTESS.

Faith, you said so before.

By God, that's what you said before.

FALSTAFF.

As I am a gentleman. Come, no more words of it.

As I am a gentleman. Come, let's say no more about it.

HOSTESS.

By this heavenly ground I tread on, I must be fain to pawn

both my plate and the tapestry of my dining-chambers.

I swear by Heaven that I'm going to have to pawn

both my plate and the tapestries from my dining rooms.

FALSTAFF.

Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking:  and for thy walls, a pretty

slight drollery, or the story of the Prodigal, or the German hunting

in water-work, is worth a thousand of these bed-hangings and

these fly-bitten tapestries. Let it be ten pound, if thou canst.

Come, an 'twere not for thy humours, there's not a better wench in

England. Go, wash thy face, and draw the action. Come, thou must not be

in this humour with me; dost not know me? come, come, I know thou wast

set on to this.

Glasses, glasses are the only things to drink from: for your walls,

a little comic painting, or the story of the Prodigal, or a German

hunting scene, is worth a thousand of these bed curtains,

these moth-eaten tapestries. Make it ten pounds, if you can.

Come on, if it wasn't for your moods there isn't a better lass

in England. Go and wash your face and take out the money.

Come, you mustn't be cross with me; don't you know me?

Come, come, I know you were talked into this.

HOSTESS.

Pray thee, Sir John, let it be but twenty nobles:  i' faith,

I am loath to pawn my plate, so God save me, la!

Please, Sir John, just let it be twenty nobles: I swear

I do not want to pawn my plate, God help me!

FALSTAFF.

Let it alone; I'll make other shift:  you'll be a fool still.

Forget it, I'll find another way: you'll still be a fool.

HOSTESS.

Well, you shall have it, though I pawn my gown.  I hope

you'll come to supper. You'll pay me all together?

Well, you shall have it, even if I have to pawn my dress. I hope

you will come to supper. You'll pay me back in one sum?

FALSTAFF.

Will I live?  [To Bardolph.]  Go, with her, with her;

hook on, hook on.

I swear.[to Bardolph] go along with her;

we've got her on the hook.

HOSTESS.

Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at supper?

Do you want Doll Tearsheet to come to you at supper?

FALSTAFF.

No more words; let 's have her.

No more talking, we'll have her.

[Exeunt Hostess, Bardolph, Officers, and Boy.]

CHIEF JUSTICE.

I have heard better news.

I have heard better news.

FALSTAFF.

What 's the news, my lord?

What news is that, my lord?

CHIEF JUSTICE.

Where lay the king last night?

Where did the King stay last night?

GOWER.

At Basingstoke, my lord.

At Basingstoke, my lord.

FALSTAFF.

I hope, my lord, all 's well:  what is the news, my lord?

I hope, my lord, everything is all right: what is the news, my lord?

CHIEF JUSTICE.

Come all his forces back?

Has he brought all his forces back with him?

GOWER.

No; fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse,

Are march'd up to my Lord of Lancaster,

Against Northumberland and the Archbishop.

No, fifteen hundred infantry and five hundred cavalry

are marching up to join my Lord of Lancaster,

to fight Northumberland and the Archbishop.

FALSTAFF.

Comes the king back from Wales, my noble lord?

Is the king back from Wales, my noble Lord?

CHIEF JUSTICE.

You shall have letters of me presently:

Come, go along with me, good Master Gower.

I shall give you letters at once:

come along with me, good Master Gower.

FALSTAFF.

My lord!

My Lord!

CHIEF JUSTICE.

What's the matter?

What's the matter?

FALSTAFF.

Master Gower, shall I entreat you with me to dinner?

Master Gower, can I invite you to have dinner with me?

GOWER.

I must wait upon my good lord here; I thank you, good Sir John.

I must attend my good lord here; thank you for the offer,

good Sir John.

CHIEF JUSTICE.

Sir John, you loiter here too long, being you are to

take soldiers up in counties as you go.

Sir John, you have been here too long, considering that you have to

gather forces from the counties as you go.

FALSTAFF.

Will you sup with me, Master Gower?

Will you have supper with me, Master Gower?

CHIEF JUSTICE.

What foolish master taught you these manners, Sir John?

What stupid master taught you to behave like this, Sir John?

FALSTAFF.

Master Gower, if they become me not, he was a fool that

taught them me. This is the right fencing grace, my lord; tap for

tap, and so part fair.

Master Gower, if my manners don't suit me, it was a fool who

taught them to me. This is the way we fence, my lord;

we exchange blows, and part as equals.

CHIEF JUSTICE.

Now the Lord lighten thee! thou art a great fool.

May the Lord give you some sense! You are a great fool.

[Exeunt.]

[Enter Prince Henry and Poins.]

PRINCE.

Before God, I am exceeding weary.

I swear to God, I'm exhausted.

POINS.

Is 't come to that? I had thought weariness durst not have

attach'd one of so high blood.

Are you? I thought people so highborn

never got tired.

PRINCE.

Faith, it does me; though it discolours the complexion of

my greatness to acknowledge it. Doth it not show vilely in me to

desire small beer?

I swear I do; even if it makes me look