The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (659 page)

Whell then, we’ll exchange love-tokens; here, take this.

“[PROTEUS gives JULIA a ring]”

JULIA

And seal the bargain with a holy kiss.

And we’ll seal the exchange with a holy kiss

PROTEUS

Here is my hand for my true constancy;

Here is my promise for my honest loyalty;
And when that hour o'erslips me in the day

And if an hour passes unnoticed in a day
Wherein I sigh not, Julia, for thy sake,

Where I don’t sigh, for you Julia,
The next ensuing hour some foul mischance

May the hours after that contain some dreadful misfortune
Torment me for my love's forgetfulness!

To punish me for forgetting my love!
My father stays my coming; answer not;

My father is waiting for me to arrive; don’t answer;
The tide is now: nay, not thy tide of tears;

The time has come: no, not the time of tears;
That tide will stay me longer than I should.

For your tears will not keep me longer than I can stay.
Julia, farewell!

Julia, goodbye!

Exit JULIA

What, gone without a word?

What, she leaves without a word?
Ay, so true love should do: it cannot speak;

Yes, that’s how true love should be: it cannot speak;
For truth hath better deeds than words to grace it.

For the truth is shown in actions, not in words.

Enter PANTHINO

PANTHINO

Sir Proteus, you are stay'd for.

Sir Proteus, they are waiting for you.

PROTEUS

Go; I come, I come.

Go on; I’m coming, I’m coming.
Alas! this parting strikes poor lovers dumb.

Sadly, this departure makes us unfortunate lovers speechless.

Exeunt

A street.

Enter LAUNCE, leading a dog

LAUNCE

Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping;

Now, I will have finished crying before this hour is over:
all the kind of the Launces have this very fault. I

My whole family of Launces suffer from this same weakness. I
have received my proportion, like the prodigious

Have received my payment, like the son who leaves and returns again,
son, and am going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial's

And I am going with Sir Protues to the emperor’s
court. I think Crab, my dog, be the sourest-natured

Court. I think my dog, Crab, is the most grumpy-natured
dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father

Dog that lives: my mother was weeping, my father
wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat

Sobbing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat was
wringing her hands, and all our house in a great

Holding her paws in grief, and our whole house was in a great
perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed

Confusion, but this cruel-hearted mutt didn’t shed a
one tear: he is a stone, a very pebble stone, and

Single tear: he is made of stone, a very worthless stone, and
has no more pity in him than a dog: a Jew would have

Is as pitiless as a dog: even a pitiless Jew would have
wept to have seen our parting; why, my grandam,

Wept if he had seen our goodbyes: why, my grandmother,
having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my

Who has no eyes, you understand, wept until she was blind
parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it. This

When I left. No, I’ll demonstrate how it happened. This
shoe is my father: no, this left shoe is my father:

Shoe represents my father: no, this left shoe is I my father:
no, no, this left shoe is my mother: nay, that

No, no, this left shoes is my mother instead: no, it
cannot be so neither: yes, it is so, it is so, it

Can’t be either of them: yes, it’s like this, it’s like this, it
hath the worser sole. This shoe, with the hole in

Has a worse sole than the other. This shoe, with the hole in
it, is my mother, and this my father; a vengeance

It, is my mother, and this other one is my father; curse
on't! there 'tis: now, sit, this staff is my

It! There it is: now, stay like that, this cane is my
sister, for, look you, she is as white as a lily and

Sister, since, look at this, she is as white as a lily and
as small as a wand: this hat is Nan, our maid: I

As slender as a pole: this hat is our maid, Nan: I
am the dog: no, the dog is himself, and I am the

Represent the dog: no, the dog represents me, Launce, and I am the
dog--Oh! the dog is me, and I am myself; ay, so,

Dog—Oh! The dog represents me, and I am myself; yes, that’s how it is,
so. Now come I to my father; Father, your blessing:

That’s how it is. Now I’m getting to talking about my father; First, I asked him for permission:
now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping:

Then, the shoe that is my father couldn’t say a word because he was crying:
now should I kiss my father; well, he weeps on. Now

Then I kissed my father goodbye; he continued to cry. Then
come I to my mother: O, that she could speak now

I went to my mother: Oh, if only she could speak now
like a wood woman! Well, I kiss her; why, there

Like a mad woman! Well, I kissed her; well, there
'tis; here's my mother's breath up and down. Now

It is; that’s how my mother smells exactly. Then
come I to my sister; mark the moan she makes. Now

I went to my sister; notice how she was wailing. Then
the dog all this while sheds not a tear nor speaks a

That whole time this dog didn’t shed a tear or say a
word; but see how I lay the dust with my tears.

Word; but notice how I’m laying in the dirt with my tears.

Enter PANTHINO

PANTHINO

Launce, away, away, aboard! thy master is shipped

Launce, come on, come one, get on board! Your master is on the ship
and thou art to post after with oars. What's the

And you are to quickly follow after him. What’s the
matter? why weepest thou, man? Away, ass! You'll

Matter? Why are you crying, man? Come on, you ass! You’ll
lose the tide, if you tarry any longer.

lose the sea current if you wait any more.

LAUNCE

It is no matter if the tied were lost; for it is the

It’s be no big deal if the dog were lost; for he is the
unkindest tied that ever any man tied.

Meanest dog that any man ever tied up.

PANTHINO

What's the unkindest tide?

What’s the meanest dog?

LAUNCE

Why, he that's tied here, Crab, my dog.

Well, this one here, Crab, my dog.

PANTHINO

Tut, man, I mean thou'lt lose the flood, and, in

Shame on you, man, I mean you’ll lose the current and by
losing the flood, lose thy voyage, and, in losing

Losing the current, you’ll miss the trip, and by missing
thy voyage, lose thy master, and, in losing thy

The trip, you’ll lose your master, and but losing your
master, lose thy service, and, in losing thy

Master, lose your job, and by losing your
service,--Why dost thou stop my mouth?

Job—why are you shushing me?

LAUNCE

For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.

Because I’m afraid you’ll lose your tongue.

PANTHINO

Where should I lose my tongue?

Why would I lose my tongue?

LAUNCE

In thy tale.

From telling that story.

PANTHINO

In thy tail!

It’s your ass on the line!

LAUNCE

Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and

Lose the current, and the trip, and the master, and
the service, and the tied! Why, man, if the river

The job, and the dog! Well, man, if the river
were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the

Were dry, I would be able to fill it with my tears; if the
wind were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs.

Winds were gone, I could sail the boat with my sighs.

PANTHINO

Come, come away, man; I was sent to call thee.

Come on, come on, man; I was sent here to bring you.

LAUNCE

Sir, call me what thou darest.

Sir, call me whatever your dare to

PANTHINO

Wilt thou go?

Will you go?

LAUNCE

Well, I will go.

Well, I’ll go.

Exeunt

The DUKE's palace.

Enter SILVIA, VALENTINE, THURIO, and SPEED

SILVIA

Servant!

Followers!

VALENTINE

Mistress?

Mistress?

SPEED

Master, Sir Thurio frowns on you.

Mister, Sir Thurio is not happy with you.

VALENTINE

Ay, boy, it's for love.

Yes, boy, it’s because of my love.

SPEED

Not of you.

Not your love.

VALENTINE

Of my mistress, then.

The love of my mistress, then.

SPEED

'Twere good you knocked him.

It would be good if you beat him.

Exit

SILVIA

Servant, you are sad.

My follower, you are sad.

VALENTINE

Indeed, madam, I seem so.