The Confidence Myth (14 page)

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Authors: Helene Lerner

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Answer

Response percentages

Yes

50.4%

No

27.1%

I don't know

21.1%

No responses

1.3%

7. Do you feel confident in your workplace?

Answer

Response percentages

Yes

84.4%

No

14.5%

No responses

<1.0%

8. If you feel confident in your workplace, which of the following practices have enhanced your confidence? (Check all that apply.)

Answer

Response percentages

Having a leader or mentor who appreciates and respects me

66.3%

Meeting my deadlines and staying on top of my work

67.3%

Being recognized formally with promotions and raises

44.0%

Acknowledgment from my peers, direct reports, and leaders

70.3%

Using my skills and making an impact

86.3%

Other

12.4%

9. If you don't feel confident in your workplace, which of the following practices have inhibited your confidence? (Check all that apply.)

Answer

Response percentages

Having a leader who micromanages and disrespects me

53.5%

Missing deadlines and falling behind

20.5%

Having colleagues who are uncooperative and overly critical

45.7%

Feeling disconnected to my job because the work does not leverage my skills

49.2%

Other

20.2%

10. Do you feel confident in your personal life?

Answer

Response percentages

Yes

83.7%

No

15.3%

No responses

<1.0%

11. If you do feel confident in your personal life, which of the following practices have enhanced your confidence?
(Check all that apply.)

Answer

Response percentagses

I surround myself with people who believe in me

60.2%

I was led to believe early on that I could achieve anything I worked for

52.5%

I have a sense of myself that is not dependent upon what others think of me

67.7%

I feel I can impact my surroundings

66.6%

I feel I can make mistakes and recover from them

76.4%

Other

11.7%

12. If you don't feel confident in your personal life, which of the following practices have inhibited your confidence? (Check all that apply.)

Answer

Response percentages

My friends and family don't take me seriously

17.5%

I can't measure up to the expectations of others

24.8%

I can't measure up to my personal expectations

54.9%

I don't feel I have much impact

29.1%

Fear of failure

48.0%

Other

16.3%

13. Is there a difference between how confident you feel at work or at home?

Answer

Response percentages

Yes

57.5%

No

41.6%

No responses

<1.0%

14. What would you do if you had more confidence?

Answer

Response percentages

I would say no to things without feeling guilty

42.1%

I would say what I think, regardless of the opinions of others

35.4%

I would end unhealthy relationships

29.5%

I would reach for higher career and personal goals

57.8%

Other

15.5%

15. Do you have a belief in a power greater than yourself? If so, how does that affect your confidence?

403 responses (free-writing)

16. How does your level of confidence affect the risks you are willing to take?

511 responses (free-writing)

17. What might you do to become more confident?
(Check all that apply.)

Answer

Response percentages

Take a course on the topic

16.7%

Do more inner reflection

48.5%

Read a self-help book

26.8%

Counter negative mind-talk with more affirming thoughts

58.2%

Find a “confidence buddy” to hold you accountable for taking self-affirming actions

32.9%

Seek out a coach or a therapist

34.8%

Other

20.7%

18. What would your “adult self” say to your “younger self” to inspire her/him to have more confidence?

514 responses (free-writing)

19. What age range do you fall into?

Answer

Response percentages

20 or under

<1.0%

21–25

6.7%

26–30

9.5%

31–35

11.7%

36–40

9.9%

41–45

13.4%

46–50

16.4%

51+

30.4%

No responses

<1.0%

20. What best describes your current position?

Answer

Response percentages

Unemployed

3.9%

Student

2.6%

Freelancer

3.3%

Entry-level employee

5.0%

Experienced nonmanager

24.4%

Mid-level manager

18.5%

Senior manager

15.3%

Business owner

7.2%

Entrepreneur

7.2%

Stay-at-home mother

<1.0%

Educator

2.4%

Retired

<1.0%

Other

7.8%

No responses

<1.0%

21. What gender do you identify with?

Answer

Response percentages

Female

95.1%

Male

2.9%

Other

1.1%

No responses

<1.0%

Notes
Introduction

1.
Katty Kay and Claire Shipman,
The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance
—
What Women Should Know
(New York: Harper Business, 2014), 17–18.

2.
See appendix B for full survey background, methodology, and instrument.

Chapter 1

1.
“Make Innovation Fun,” WomenWorking.com, March 2013,
http://www.womenworking.com/how-make-innovation-fun
.

2.
Sheryl Sandberg,
Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead
(New York: Knopf, 2013), 8.

3.
Georges Desvaux, Sandrine Devillard-Hoellinger, and Mary C. Meaney, “A Business Case for Women,”
McKinsey Quarterly
(2008): 4.

4.
“Make It Happen: Mentors, Dreams, Success,” first potential broadcast September 1, 2002, presented by South Carolina Educational Television, distributed by American Public Television, a production of Creative Expansions Inc.

5.
“In Her Heels,” WomenWorking.com, July 2011,
http://www.womenworking.com/her-heels
.

6.
“Make a Real Impact,” WomenWorking.com, January 2012,
http://www.womenworking.com/make-real-impact
.

Chapter 2

1.
Sylvia Ann Hewlett,
Executive Presence: The Missing Link between Merit and Success
(New York: Harper Business, 2014), 24.

2.
Ibid., 145.

3.
“Is It Arrogance, No!” WomenWorking.com, September 24, 2014,
http://www.womenworking.com/it-arrogance-no
.

4.
Hewlett,
Executive Presence
, 65.

5.
Ibid., 98.

Chapter 3

1.
Sheryl Sandberg,
Lean In for Graduates
(New York: Knopf, 2014), 105.

Chapter 4

1.
“How to Be Happy in 2014,”
World One
, CNN International, first broadcast, January 20, 2014.

2.
Jessica Valenti, “She Who Dies with the Most ‘Likes' Wins?”
The Nation
, November 29, 2012,
http://www.thenation.com/blog/171520/she-who-dies-most-likes-wins#
.

3.
Sandberg,
Lean In for Graduates
, 65.

4.
Hannah Riley Bowles, Linda Babcock, and Lei Lai, “Social Incentives for Gender Differences in the Propensity to Initiate Negotiations: Sometimes It Does Hurt to Ask,”
Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes
103, no. 1 (2007): 84–103, doi: 10.1016/j.obhdp.2006.09.001.

5.
Sandberg,
Lean In for Graduates
, 60.

6.
Ibid., 59.

7.
Ellen Galinsky, “Moving beyond Perfectionism and Finding a Work-Life Fit: Lessons from Marissa Mayer and Anne-Marie Slaughter,”
Huffington Post
, July 20, 2012,
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ellen-galinsky/marissa-mayer_b_1690577.html
.

8.
Helene Lerner,
Time for Me: Simple Pleasures for Women Who Do Too Much
(Illinois: Simple Truths-Sourcebooks, 2015).

Chapter 5

1.
Helene Lerner,
Smart Women Take Risks: Six Steps for Conquering Your Fears and Making the Leap to Success
(New York: McGraw-Hill, 2006), 61.

2.
Sylvia Ann Hewlett,
Forget a Mentor, Find a Sponsor: The New Way to Fast-Track Your Career
(Massachusetts: Harvard Business Review Press, 2013), 20.

3.
Ibid., 21.

4.
“Building Relationships with Sponsors,”
WomenWorking.com
, October 2013,
http://www.womenworking.com/building-and-maintaining-relationships-sponsors
.

5.
Tara Mohr,
Playing Big: Find Your Voice, Your Mission, Your Message
(New York: Gotham Books, 2014), 197–198.

6.
Hewlett,
Forget a Mentor
, 20.

7.
Sylvia Ann Hewlett, Kerrie Peraino, Laura Sherbin, and Karen Sumberg, “The Sponsor Effect: Breaking through the Last Glass Ceiling,”
Harvard Business Review
(December 2010): 10,
http://www.globalwomen.org.nz/site/globalwomen/files/pdfs/The%20Sponsor%20Effect.pdf
.

Chapter 6

1.
Henry Mintzberg, “Planning on the Left Side and Managing on the Right,”
Harvard Business Review
54, no. 4 (1976): 57.

2.
Mohr,
Playing Big
, 63.

3.
John Hayes, Christopher W. Allinson, and Steven J. Armstrong, “Intuition, Women Managers and Gendered Stereotypes,”
Personnel Review
33, no. 4 (2004): 403–417.

4.
Christopher W. Allinson and John Hayes, “The Cognitive Style Index: A Measure of Intuition—Analysis for Organizational Research,”
Journal of Management Studies
33, no. 1 (1996): 119–135; and Christopher W. Allinson and John Hayes,
The Cognitive Style Index: Technical Manual and User Guide
(Harlow, UK: Pearson Education, 2012), available online at
http://www.talentlens.co.uk/assets/legacy-documents/71874/csi-manual.pdf
.

5.
Malcolm Gladwell,
Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking
(New York: Penguin Books, 2006) 23.

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