The Cost To Play (Slivers of Love) (6 page)

It was a cool, crisp December wind that blew across Toshi’s face as he exited his car to enter the Kroger on Washington Road. The sky was as grey as his mood leaving him with riddled with melancholy.  This would be the first Christmas that he would be single. Based on his current mindset, it would be the last.  He had never considered himself a man that constantly needed the company of a woman to feel as if his life had meaning or purpose, but cooking dinner for one on Christmas Eve took him to a new low.

Earlier in the day, he had gone to his parent’s to spend some time, but the disappointment on both of their faces was too much to process.  It only exacerbated the totality of his failure when his sister, Kunio showed up with her new boyfriend. The fat headed doctor. Toshi hated him already.

The other thing he was hating was the start of the rain.  The large droplets pelted his head, as he made his way through the main doors and grabbed a hand cart to purchase a few food items.  Christmas dinner would be at his parents, but he opted not to stay the night. He lied to them about having plans.  His mother began to cry again, as his father patted her on the back to console her.  Irony was a mean mistress. His mother was devastated that her son was involved with a woman, who in actuality, wouldn’t even give him the time of day.  Maybe this was his penance for being a scoundrel in college.

As he made his way to the meat department, he first stopped in the produce section to pick up some leeks, Chinese cabbage, carrots, and an eggplant. In the meat department he looked closely at the salmon. Not many of the packages looked very fresh.  He reached for the one in the back, but a hand slapped his and snatched it out of the way. Toshi turned to see Jayne standing there. “This is my dinner.”

Her smile was so warm and inviting, that Toshi swore he heard music playing in the background.  “Well, since we were thinking of having the same thing for dinner, will you allow me to cook it for you?”

A man offering to cook dinner?  For her?  That was a first. “Sure,” she said and put the salmon in his basket.

“Oh, I have to buy it as well?”

Jayne touched the upper portion of her teeth with her tongue. “You were going to buy it anyway. How about I buy the wine?”

“Deal,” he told her as she eyed his basket, asking if they needed anything else.

Toshi wondered if she lived close by. “Jayne.  My place or yours?”

The look she gave him was one of concern that Toshi staved off by adding, “At my place, I have rice, seasonings, and everything else to go with the meal.  I am not sure what you have.”  He watched her relax.

Her hand flew to her face. “Wait! I can’t have dinner with you tonight!” It felt like a blow to his chest.  “I rode my bike to the store, so I can’t follow you to your place.”

“Jayne, I will take you home after dinner.” Toshi was obviously not understanding why she felt this was some form of a dilemma.

“I need my own car, in case I have to leave in a hurry, or you get fresh.” Her hand was on her hip.  His father had taught his sister the same rule, so he understood.

“If you are on your bike, you must live close by.  So do I.” he thought about the weather. “Besides, it has started to rain, so I will need to give you a ride anyway. You can put away your groceries and follow me to my place, or I can just cook at yours.”  He was not going to let her get away from him again. The thought of being alone tonight also hung in the recesses of his mind.

“Jayne.” He said her name softly. “It’s Christmas Eve and I would rather not eat alone.” The words had rolled out of his mouth so easily that he looked around the store to make sure he was the one who had actually said it.

“Neither do I,” she told him as she touched his hand. “Come on doc. Timmy will be waking up soon, so let’s get this dinner thing started.”

The checkout was quick. Toshi had her wait under the covering while he retrieved his car. He lowered the back seat and slid her bike into the hatchback alongside the groceries. Jayne was impressed Toshi used his umbrella to escort her around the car. He even opened the door, closing it once she was inside. 

He slid into the driver seat and put the car into gear. “Which way?”

“I live pretty close by, hence the bike.” She gave him directions out of the parking lot. Making a left on Alexander Drive and then driving less than a mile down the hill.  “These apartment homes on the left is me,” she told him as she gave him instructions on how to access the security gate.

Instead of pulling into the visitor’s lane, he pulled into the resident side. Jayne felt silly. “Oh, you are right. I do have my access card.”

Toshi said nothing as he rolled down the window, reached up into the visor and removed a card that slid into the slot opening the gate.  Jayne’s jaw dropped. “You live in this complex too?”

“I do, but I live in building 200. Which building is yours?” He tried to sound casual as he toyed with either his luck, or fate playing a cruel game.

“I live in the back, in the 800 building,” she told him in a lowered voice.  Jayne’s mind was running amok with the probability of all this. Instead of avoiding and fighting Toshi, maybe she needed to find out why they were constantly being brought together.

“Let’s secure your bike first, put away your items, and we will drive around to my building.”

Jayne did not allow him to come all the way into her apartment, but only allowed him to place the groceries in the kitchen. She quickly put away what needed refrigeration. The other items, she left in the bag.

“I’m ready.” She grabbed her keys and followed him down the stairs. The roles were reversed as she watched the back of him walk with such confidence, grace, and almost a quiet stealth.  His bearing was almost regal as he descended the stairwell, walking her to her car, and closing her door, before getting into his own.

Jayne trailed him back to the front of the complex, coming around the side of the structures to building 200. She breathed deeply as she took the second bag from his vehicle and trailed him up the first set of stairs to the back of his building.  The keys jangled as he opened the door to permit her entry into his private world.

“Here, let me take your jacket.” Toshi helped remove her jacket as he locked the door, removed his shoes, and set about prepping dinner.  “Excuse me for a second,” he told her as he took off his jacket as well, while walking down the hallway to his bedroom.  Jayne craned her neck to the right to see where he had went, silently praying that he did not return wearing just a smoking jacket and a smile. She did as she saw him do and removed her shoes before stepping onto the carpet.

Then there was the flush of the commode, the start of the faucet, and seconds thereafter, the man himself returned to the kitchen.  The look on her face amused him. “You thought I was going to come back out in a smoking jacket and some drawstring pants didn’t you?”

She chuckled a little. “Yeah. I was worried for a minute there.” 

“I invited you for dinner Jayne,” he told her. He poured a glass of wine for them both and washed the rice for the steamer.

Jayne, with wine glass in hand, walked around the apartment and was surprised to find that he had three bedrooms. She pointed to the third door, asking his permission.  She lost her breath when she saw it was a full studio, with drawing tables, a sewing machine, a serger, and sketches posted to corkboards.  She wanted to take out her pencils, sit down, and began to draw a masterpiece.  The walls were painted a soft taupe with large cork billboards extending from the ceiling on three of the walls.  The fourth wall was a window, which shone light directly onto the artist table.

She heard the sizzle of meat, the knife striking the cutting board, and water being run over vegetables through a colander.  Those sounds she knew well. Toshi remained quiet as she went to the second door, once more checking for his approval before opening it.  Inside, she was pleased to see it was a Zen space with nothing more than a slant board, a cd player, and a yoga mat. One wall was painted a soft pink with Japanese cherry blossom appliques on the wall.  The third door was his bedroom. A door that was left slightly ajar from when he left the restroom earlier.

“So, this is the dragon’s lair, where the damsels are all brought to the slaughter,” she said aloud as she peered inside the room.

“You do have a flair for the dramatic. You know that right?”

Jayne didn’t quite know why she was surprised when she looked inside the bedroom, but she was.  It was so basic. It looked as if he had just moved in. He took minimalism to a new level. The queen size bed had a simple red quilt and two large pillows; one of which looked well used.  Jayne figured that was the one he slept on.  The night stands held nothing personal, nor the walls. There was no television or family photos. “Toshi, no TV?”

“The bedroom is for sleeping, making love, and creating life. I watch TV on the couch.”

Alarms were buzzing in Jayne’s head as she looked about the place. “So, do you do this often? Cook for women?”  She stopped herself from saying anything more.

“Actually, you are only the third woman I have brought here. Fourth if you include my mother.”  She watched him dice the eggplant with the skill of a chef.

Seated at the counter, her eyes ventured to the countertop where he had lined up small bowls in which to serve the dishes he was preparing.

“Am I the first black woman?” she asked softly, almost speaking the words into the glass.

“The first one I brought here, yes.” He looked up at her and smiled.

“I can take that so many ways, Toshi.  I mean did you just move in?” She paused. “What are we talking about here…?”

He saw no need to be dishonest with her today or any other day. “I have lived here for almost two years.  To answer the question you are trying to find a way to ask me, I have dated black women.”

“Oh, I see,” she said as she took plates to the dining table.

“You see what?” He followed behind her with a serving tray with fresh sliced ginger, two rice bowls, and the serving plate of the salmon and vegetables.

“So, you have a thing for black women.” She almost said it with disgust.

He pulled out her chair, helped her be seated, and then laid a cloth napkin across her lap. His fingers gently grazing her arm. “No Jayne. I have a thing for you.”

He took his seat and saw the wide grin on her face. Jayne had to give it to him. “That was pretty smooth, Toshi.”

“You think so?” As she nodded, he agreed with her. “Yeah, that one was pretty good.” He laughed a bit, keeping his eyes on her.

Despite so many misgivings and a really rough start, she liked him. The subtle scent of him in the bedroom was so faint, but potent, that her senses had fired up the moment she saw the indentation in the pillow where his head rested every night. The smell was stronger as he sat closer.

“Toshi,” she said. Timmy made his presence known, growling loudly. “What are we doing?”

He pulled the large plate with vegetables between the two of them. “I am having dinner on Christmas Eve with a friend. What are you doing?”

“Just a friend?”

Toshi added a little more wine to her glass, then his own. “Jayne, I like you, your spirit, and your energy.  If what we have is nothing more than friendship, I can accept that, but it is nice to have a conversation with a woman who understands what I am talking about.”

“So, what you are saying is that I am safe.” She was eyeing the food.

“I am not understanding what you mean.” He honestly did not.

“I mean, if I eat this food and drink this wine, are you going to put on some soft music, a porn tape, and jump me?”

“Not unless you want me to, Jayne.”  He used the back end of his chopsticks to serve her food. “I am a simple man.  If I invite you for dinner, we have dinner.  If I want you to come over for something more, I will make it clear in the invitation.”

Jayne would not let it go. It could not be that simple, especially considering their first couple of conversations.  If life had taught her anything, it was to not let down your guard.  The feeling that was circling the drain of concern, was he was trying a new tactic.  She blurted it out with no regard for consequence. “Are you saying, you no longer want to have sex with me?”

He stopped chewing and swallowed hard, laid down his chopsticks.  Jayne shrank back a little. “If you said to me…” he used a girlie voice, “…
Toshi, take me right now.
I would have to cook you a new dinner.” He watched her face before he delivered the blow. “I would clear this table and you would have rice, eggplant, and steamed veggies all in your hair and ass.” Jayne’s mouth dropped, as he looked at her with a straight face. “I would go hard too Jayne!  I would go hard!  I would get all Super Saiyan on you,” he told her as he started making the anime faces, with noises of “grrr, ahhh, ooooh”.