The Courtship (42 page)

The Jorenian's tense frame relaxed. “There are many differences between our people,” he said, smoothing his palm over my cheek. “Do you regret being associated with me?”

“No.” Until that moment I hadn't given a lot of thought to certain aspects of our relationship. Still, I wasn't ashamed of being involved with him. “I don't care what anyone says about us.”

“I can never be Terran, Healer.”

We belonged to two different species. So what? “I'll never be Jorenian.” I shrugged. “Springfield is a jerk, Terra is welcome to him.”

“Tell me what is in your heart.”

I looked up into his strong, beautiful face. How could I even describe how I felt? When I was with Kao, everything else in my life seemed to fade away. I was deeply involved with a blue-skinned alien man, and I didn't even know how that had happened. It had only recently occurred to me that it had.

There were problems, I reminded myself. “Tell me, how many times have we been together in the past two weeks?”

“Let me think,” he said, pretending not to know. Jorenians had incredible recall. “Four?”

“Five times, and you know it. Twice I had to leave you because of an emergency at the facility.”

“I do not expect you to sacrifice healing for me,” he reassured me. “As I recall, once
I
had to leave your company because of an unexpected change in the flight schedule.”

“There will be more emergencies,” I said.

“We both of us have occupations that demand much of our time.”

His open, confident manner had me blurting out, “You want more than just my time, Kao Torin.”

One blue finger traced the line between my brows. “Yes. I do.”

“Okay.” I took a gulp of air. “So do I.”

“Are you certain?”

“Not exactly.” His keen eyes made me grimace. “What if we can't fulfill—if I can't—” I made a frustrated gesture. “I don't know what the term is in your culture. In mine, it is ‘relationship.' What if we can't make this work? What if my job demands more of my time than you'd like? What if—”

“
What if
seems to preface most of your worries,” Kao broke in calmly. “I can present similar concerns. What if I am permanently consigned to an intersector flight run? What if I am injured in a shuttle crash? What if I am exposed to HydroTyrannial Radiation and turn a disagreeable shade of yellow-green?”

I made a disgusted sound and turned away to stare at the jewel-rich darkness above me.

“Forgive me.” Kao gently pulled me back against his large frame. Even in my aggravation, my body responded to the proximity of his. He was big, warm, and alive. His palms began a gentle stroking motion over my shoulders. It gave me a sense of being sheltered, cherished.

It also made sweat bead along my hairline.

“On my world, there is a philosophy we learn as children:
The path may change swiftly. Live in the now.
” Kao's hand moved down the untidy cable of my braid. “There are no guarantees in existence, Cherijo. Not even if you had Chosen—if you had a relationship with another Terran.”

Another Terran. Who? Someone like Duncan Reever? Now there was a distinct impossibility. “So we take a chance on the future?”

“We take the now. Tomorrow—that will come.”

“I know how serious it is for a Jorenian to Choose,” I told him. “It means forever.”

His hands stilled. “You have been educating yourself on my culture.”

“Your HouseClans were founded on the ritual of Choice.” I turned to face him, feeling panicky now. “If you Choose me, you're stuck with me, for life. That's a long time, Kao. Then there's the other minor problem with getting bonded. Like packing up everything and moving to Joren.”

“We are not bonded,” Kao reminded me.

I yanked my braid out of his grasp. “You're thinking about Choosing me.” I threw down the statement like a dare.

“Yes.”

“If you do that, you can't change your mind. You'll have to bond with me.”

“Of course,” Kao agreed. “Someday.”

“Someday?” I squeaked. That wasn't in the data I'd read about my boyfriend's culture. There was a definite,
short
time frame involved in the progression from Choosing to bonding on Joren.

“Cherijo, I respect HouseClan traditions. Indeed, I hold them close to my heart. Yet I have journeyed through the stars for many revolutions. Were you a Jorenian female”—Kao made a small gesture I'd learned meant mild exasperation—“my ClanParents would be constructing a ceremonial chamber and sending a bond proclamation to every Torin within signal range.”

“But I'm not a Jorenian female,” I said slowly. “Does that mean your parents will hate me?”

Kao chuckled. “No, my heart. The fact that you are Terran will not alter their happiness for us.”

“Then I don't see what difference it makes.”

“Terran culture has its share of customs regarding these matters. Do you think I would demand that you follow the practices of my world and ignore your own?”

I was slow, but finally it dawned on me. “You mean, if you Choose me, you don't expect me to bond with you right away?”

“Not unless you are willing, and the time is correct for you.” Kao released a sigh at my obvious disbelief. “Cherijo, how could you think me so uncompromising?”

I still wasn't entirely convinced. “You're sure you'd be willing to wait?”

“Yes,” Kao insisted. “I could not honor you without honoring your beliefs, your work. Even when at times it seems there are a thousand and one demands upon you.”

Two thousand and one, I thought. “That won't change.”

“It is part of what you are. A strong, dedicated, compassionate healer.” Kao pressed his lips upon my forehead and his arms came up around me. God, it felt wonderful when he held me like that. “Believe in what I say.”

“I'm sorry. I do.” I nuzzled the lower vault of his chest. “I want to be with you, Kao.”

“I want to be a part of you, Cherijo. I want to wake with you upon each star rising, I want to sleep with you, like this. I will wait for all those things. For both of us.” His eyes gleamed. “I would wait an eternity for you.”

“I don't think it will take
that
long,” I said as I cuddled against him. “As long as Dr. Mayer doesn't personally plan my schedule for the next thirty years, that is.”

“There is another matter I would discuss with you,” Kao said as he worked my hair loose from the long braid and spread it free. His fingers were magic. He breathed in the fragrance of the cleanser I used, and a deep sound rumbled under my cheek. “Terrans do not require a bonding ceremony to know one another intimately. Do they?”

“Oh.” I tried not to sound like an idiot. I failed. “Terrans generally—I mean, it's accepted that—” I cringed. I was babbling. I never babble. “Uh—no. Why?”

“In this matter, Cherijo,” he said as he lifted my chin, “I do
not
wish to wait an eternity.”

Kao kissed me. How can I describe it? It was stimulating, exciting . . . No. It demolished me. I stopped breathing, stopped thinking, and just held on.

I never knew kissing could be such a fierce, prolonged, arousing activity. It was sort of like being caught in a cardiac stimulator set on continuous biofeed. My nerves sizzled as his mouth and tongue moved over mine. He tasted exotic, dark, and delicious.

When he lifted his head and our lips parted, I was much more experienced on the subject. I was also breathless, clutching him with tight, numb hands, my limbs trembling, my blood roaring through my veins.

“Okay,” I managed to gasp out. “How about now?”

“Not yet. You are not ready.” My pained expression made him chuckle. “Soon, I promise. When we are both decided.”

I started to ask him exactly what I was supposed to decide, but a group of students chose that moment to enter the observation dome, and we were forced to leave. Kao escorted me to my living quarters, where he embraced me once more.

If women back on Terra ever learned how well Jorenian males kiss, the Genetic Exclusivity Act, along with the World Government, will be overthrown in a week. I would have drawn him into my rooms, but he stepped back.

“Soon,” he said again, before making that elegant farewell gesture and turning away. The way he looked back at me over his shoulder made me swallow, hard. “Think of me.”

The way my nerves were humming, I didn't have much choice.