THE COWBOY SHE COULDN'T FORGET (12 page)

She didn’t look convinced. “That was convenient for you.”

“It’s the truth. I never meant to deceive you. A month ago, I didn’t think you’d care. It wasn’t until we went riding to the meadow that I realized that wasn’t true.”

She wouldn’t look at him in the eye. “Who else knows about the land transfer? Am I the only one in town who was kept in the dark?”

“No one knew, except Wade and whoever else Colt told.”

She was silent for a long time.

“Colt probably wouldn’t have done it if any of his girls ever came back to the ranch.”

“You have to feel welcome to want to come back.” Vance could see Ana was fighting tears. “It’s still our heritage,” she told him. “Not yours.”

Her jab hit him hard, but this time it came from someone who truly mattered to him. Right when he was beginning to think he could be a part of her life.

“Dammit, Ana, I can’t change what happened over twenty years ago. I’m sorry as hell that your mother took off and left you. And I’m also sorry that Colt wasn’t there for you. But I won’t take the blame for it. I worked hard to make my place on the Lazy S, but I never tried to take anything away from you or your sisters.”

This time her eyes were ablaze. “You didn’t have to—it was given to you. You truly became the son Colt always wanted.”

Vance tried to block out the hurt from her words. It didn’t work this time, despite years of practice. He’d already lost, when all he’d wanted was to love her.

* * *

Two hours later, at the ranch, Vance saddled up Rusty and led his horse out of the barn. He climbed onto the chestnut cutting horse and rode across the corral. He needed to clear his head, to clear his heart of the one woman he could never have in his life.

Once through the gate, he kicked the animal’s sides and the race was on. Rusty loved to run, and Vance wanted to get to a place where the hurt didn’t reach him any longer. Problem was, he wasn’t sure he could run that far.

Run from the mother who’d never wanted him, or a father who had no use for him except as a punching bag. Twenty years later, he still hadn’t been able to outrun his past.

The river came into view and Vance suddenly realized how far he’d gone. He slowed his horse, then stopped when he saw another rider standing by a black gelding at the riverbank. Garrett.

He climbed down. “Hey, Garrett, what are you doing here?”

“I’m doing some surveying for the building. You here to chase me off Slater land?” he said jokingly.

Vance shook his head. “I have no authority to do that. But you might be wasting your time. The bank wasn’t very receptive about the project.”

Garrett tipped his hat back as their horses drank from the river. “Then find another source for the money.”

Vance wasn’t in the mood to talk about this. “I doubt Ana is interested anymore.”

Garrett tied his horse’s reins to a branch of a tree and leaned against the truck. “What happened? You two have a lovers’ quarrel?”

Vance head shot up. “How...?”

His friend laughed. “You’re not good at hiding much, Rivers. Whenever Ana comes around you get all tense and can’t take your eyes off her.” He sobered. “I take it she’s the one you want to share that new house of yours with.”

Vance froze. Now that the words were spoken, it made him realize how crazy he’d been to even think they could have a future together. “You have those designs finished already?”

Garrett gave a nod. “Take some advice and show them to her before you break ground. A woman wants to add her own touches.”

“The way things look now, I need to hold off on thinking about anything permanent.”

His friend studied him a second. “That serious, huh?”

He nodded in turn. “Thanks to Colt, Ana isn’t going to ever trust me again.”

Garrett shook his head. “I know that feeling all too well.”

Vance saw the strange look on his friend’s face. The man had his own past troubles with a Slater woman.

“I’m not a good one to ask for help with your love life, but I might have some ideas about the business side,” Garrett stated.

Vance knew that was pretty much all he had left. He needed to concentrate on the ranch, and leave anything personal out of it. Could he do that? Could he give up on the woman he’d loved all these years? It seemed Ana had already answered that question for him.

* * *

The next afternoon Vance stormed into Colt’s room, to find him sitting by the window.

“Colt, you need to do something,” he said. “To start with, you can’t keep letting Ana or any of your daughters think that you don’t care about them.”

“What h-happened?”

Vance paced the room. He hated that he had to do this when the man was still recovering, but everything was falling apart.

“What didn’t happen? Ana has been trying to come up with a way to pay off the lease.” He went on to explain about the idea for bringing in more revenue. He told Colt about the plans for building cabins to bring in more anglers. Not knowing if there was still animosity between the Slaters and the Temples, he conveniently left out that Garrett was heading up the project.

“Whether you like the idea or not, the Lazy S needs to make money, and Ana and her sisters have been working hard to make that happen. She needs some encouragement from you.”

Colt frowned. He hadn’t seen Ana in the past two days, but thought that was because she’d been busy. She had told him some things about the project and he had enjoyed hearing her enthusiasm. Something wasn’t right between her and Vance. “What d-did you d-do?”

The younger man stopped and glared at him. “What did I do? I did nothing. You’re the one who teamed me up with Ana to run the place, when it should have been your daughters in charge. I’m an outsider. Not family.”

Colt hesitated. Was that how Vance felt? “You know the r-ranch.”

Vance sent him another glare. “And whose fault is that? Your daughters would like to know how the ranch runs, but you refused to show them.”

Colt fought not to look away.

“I watched for years how you treated them,” Vance said. “How you barely acknowledged them. Why, Colt? What did they do that was so wrong?”

Colt was ashamed of his lousy parenting. After Luisa left, he’d wallowed in self-pity, ignoring the girls until they stopped depending on him for anything. It had been easier that way. He wouldn’t be hurt again when they left.

“Do you know that Ana can’t trust another man because you’ve never been there for her?” Vance crouched down in front of his chair. “Ana feels lost, Colt. She’s hurt because of the land you deeded to me. Now she hates me because she thinks I matter more to you than she does. And I don’t blame her. But unlike you, I care about her.”

Colt’s chest ached. He hadn’t wanted this to happen.

“So you can’t hide any longer. You need to tell her the truth. Let her know how you feel before it’s too late.” Vance turned and walked out of the room, leaving Colt alone.

He sat there in the deafening silence. Was this what his life had become? He’d pushed just about everyone who ever care about him away. Maybe he deserved to lose everything and to end up a lonely old man.

Memories flooded into his head. The good ones early on, then years and years of bad memories. Years when he could have made a better life for his girls, but had chosen not to. He’d stood back and let someone else care for them; someone else got Ana’s, Tori’s, Josie’s and Marissa’s kisses and hugs. Someone else got their love.

He brushed a tear from his face. “It’s your own damn fault, old man,” he chided himself, not wanting to go back to that life. He wanted Ana to stay at the ranch, and try and bring the other girls home, too.

He turned his wheelchair and reached for the phone on his bedside table. He got the operator. “I need the R-Royerton First National Bank.” He waited until a woman’s voice answered. “Alan H-Hoffman Sr.”

“Who’s calling, sir?”

“C-Colton Slater,” he said. Although the effort was exhausting, his speech was clear.

Hoffman’s booming voice came over the line. “Well, you old son of a gun, how are you?”

Colt smiled, hearing the familiar voice. “B-better. N...need a favor, friend.”

* * *

“Okay. What’s going on?” Sarah stepped into Ana’s apartment two days later.

It was after ten o’clock in the morning, but Ana hadn’t showered or gotten dressed yet. “What are you talking about?” She shut the door behind her friend.

“Why are you staying here instead of the ranch? Don’t you usually have a hundred things to do out there? Dad said the fishing has been incredible. Word has gotten around and the anglers are asking to go out to your place.”

Ana hadn’t been back to the ranch since Friday. Besides not being able to face Vance, she didn’t have her car.

“They’re taken care of,” she said. “I’m sure Vance can handle anything that comes along.”

Sarah studied her. “Speaking of that good-looking man, you two seemed to be getting pretty chummy.”

She wasn’t that surprised by her friend’s observation. “How did you know?”

Sarah smiled. “So you are dating?”

Ana shook her head and headed for the small apartment kitchen. “No. I’m not sure if we really ever were.” She began to fill the coffeemaker. “I mean, we were so busy with the ranch and Dad. We just kind of fell together.”

“But it was getting serious, right?”

Ana couldn’t talk about it. “Not anymore. I mean, it never was. I should have stayed focused on the ranch and taking care of Colt.” She leaned against the counter. “Then it wouldn’t hurt so much.”

“Oh, honey, I can’t believe Vance doesn’t care about you.”

Ana shook her head. “No, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s always had Colt’s attention.”

“And you blame Vance for that?”

Ana looked at her friend and brushed her hair away from her face. “No. Yes. I don’t know.”

“I do,” Sarah said. “Vance was only a kid when he showed up. Okay, Colt took him in, but I bet whatever Vance got from your father he earned with hard work.”

“What about me, Tori, Josie and Marissa?” Ana knew she sounded like a spoiled child. “Don’t we deserve anything?”

“Of course you do. And isn’t it about time to finally confront Colt about this issue?”

Ana’s bravado began to fade. “But what if he finally tells me the truth? What if he tells me that he doesn’t love me?”

CHAPTER TWELVE

O
VER
THE
NEXT
week Vance tried to stay busy with the day-to-day running of the ranch, but all he could think about was Ana. Then to top it off he’d gotten a call from Hoffman at the bank, who asked to see him. Vance called Ana, but she didn’t answer, so all he could do was leave a message telling her about their appointment.

He wasn’t surprised when he walked into the bank lobby and she wasn’t there. Not that he expected her to be able to forgive him, but he had hoped that they could at least work together for the ranch. He’d thought wrong.

He walked into Alan’s office and was greeted by a smile. “Hello, Vance. Good to see you again.”

Vance hoped the man was feeling this good for a reason. They exchanged handshakes.

“Glad you could come in. Will Ana be joining us?”

“She couldn’t make it today,” Vance said. “I’ll relay any news to her.”

“That’s right, the school year is starting soon.” The loan officer looked over the papers on his desk. “Well then, I guess you’ll get the pleasure of telling her the good news. We’ve approved the loan.”

“You’re giving us the business loan?”

Alan nodded. “Yes, and for the amount requested. I have the paperwork right here. Since you’re partners, I’ll need Ana’s signature, too.”

“Of course.” Vance was caught off guard by the news.

“We could get your signature today, and if you take the papers to Ana to look over, she can return them at her leisure.” Alan smiled. “Just have her call to arrange a time to come in and sign. We need to make sure it’s notarized.”

The banker sobered. “Vance, about the other day, I overstepped when I mentioned your property. From Ana’s expression, I take it she didn’t know that Colt had deeded it over to you.”

Vance nodded. He remembered Alan Hoffman from high school, but they hadn’t been friends. Not with his father being the bank manager. Many parents didn’t let their boys associate with that good-for-nothing Rivers kid. “I was surprised when he gave it to me.”

Alan held up his hands. “You worked hard for Colton over the years. If he’s anything like my father, you earned every acre.”

Vance shrugged. “I only did my job.”

“I’d say you did a lot more than that.”

“You mean despite being Calvin Rivers’s son?”

“Okay, we all knew of your dad’s reputation, but I hope you know we’re not looking back. The people in this town respect you, Vance. You made a place for yourself in this community.”

Vance should be happy with this man’s praise, but without Ana none of it mattered to him. “Thank you.”

Hoffman nodded. “So that being said, I do know of a buyer for your land if you’re interested.”

Vance thought back to the day he’d ridden to the meadow with Ana. He could still hear the wonder in her voice as she’d looked over the land of her ancestors. “Sorry, it’s not for sale.” He took the loan papers, said his goodbyes and walked out.

Once outside of the bank, Vance stood on the sidewalk. What was his next move? So far, he’d lost the most important thing to him—Ana. No matter what he planned to do with the land, she wouldn’t give him a chance to tell her.

He walked two blocks to the office of Wade Dickson, Attorney at Law. Vance removed his hat and walked inside to the receptionist’s desk. “Hello, Mrs. Smart. Is Wade in?”

The middle-aged woman smiled. “I’ll see, Vance.” She went to the door, knocked, then peered inside. After an exchange of words, she motioned for Vance to go in.

He walked into the office. Before the lawyer could even stand, Vance stated his case. “I need some advice.”

Wade made an effort not to smile. “Ana?”

He nodded.

“Have you tried to tell her how you feel about her?”

Vance wished he had the chance. “I don’t think any amount of sweet words are going to fix this.”

* * *

After trying for the past two days, Vance didn’t know where else to go to look for Ana. The only place left was the high school, since classes were starting the following Monday. It might be his best shot to catch her.

Memories flooded back as he walked through the double doors and down the hall to the main office. As a fourteen-year-old, he’d spent a lot of time with the principal before Colt had given him a home and adjusted his bad attitude.

A woman coming out of an inner office told him where Ana’s office was, and he set out on a search. He walked the short distance to the counseling center, where he spotted her right away.

Through the glass partition he could see she was busy talking with another teacher. She wore her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, with short bangs across her forehead.

He zeroed in on those big eyes that had mesmerized him for years. No wonder blue was his favorite color. Ana blue. He shifted his gaze to her full mouth, and quickly his hunger grew.

The sight of her delicate jaw and long slender neck had him recalling how he’d trailed kisses down her body, raising goose bumps on her heated skin. He treasured the memories of their nights together, with her pressed so close to him. How she’d given herself so freely, never asking for anything back. Yet he wanted all of her.

Ana raised her gaze to his, her cobalt eyes as cold and unwelcoming as a mountain stream. She didn’t look happy to see him. Somehow he had to change that, get her to forgive him.

She said something to the other person, then walked out into the hall. “Vance. What are you doing here?”

“You wouldn’t take my calls, so I came here to see you.”

“That’s because we have nothing to talk about.”

It hurt that she could so easily ignore what they had. “Yes, we do, Ana.” He took a step toward her. “So either we discuss it here or go inside to your office. But we’re going to talk.”

Ana worked to stay calm, hating that Vance could cause such a reaction in her. She didn’t need to spend any time with him. She still hurt. She might never get over his deception.

She moved away from the doorway and let him inside. She closed the door, though there wasn’t much privacy, which was a good thing. So why did it feel so intimate?

He sat down in the only chair besides hers, and she caught his familiar scent, a mixture of soap and pure Vance.

He placed an envelope on her desk. “It’s the loan papers.”

“Loan papers?”

“The bank came through with our building loan.”

She tried not to appear surprised. “They’re giving us the money?”

Vance nodded. “And since we’re still joint executors of Colt’s estate, we need to make a decision. Do we move ahead with the lodge?”

Ana didn’t know what to do. She hadn’t told her sisters any more because she’d doubted they were going to get the loan. “I need to talk to Tori, Josie and Marissa.”

He nodded. “What about Colt? He’s still head of the family.”

She stared, openmouthed. Had they really been a real family? She was more doubtful now than ever before.

* * *

It took two days before Ana got the nerve to go to the rehab center and see her father. She thought it would be better to wait until some of her anger subsided. There had been so much hurt over the years, but nothing compared to this. Every glimmer of hope she’d had these past weeks about reconciling with her dad began to fade away. She had to let it go.

She blinked back the tears as she made her way down the hall to his room, knowing this discussion should have happened years ago. It was time to figure out where she stood with the man. She wasn’t going to beg Colt Slater for his love.

She knocked on the door and looked inside. Colt was seated in his wheelchair, staring out the window. She felt her pulse pounding and her stomach tighten, but she refused to leave. They had to deal with this problem.

Colt was a handsome man for his age. Of course, fifty-four wasn’t old by most standards. His rough-cut jaw was cleanshaven and his thick graying hair trimmed neatly. His eyes were deep set and a brilliant blue. His shoulders and chest were broad and his stomach flat. She had no doubt that the ex-rodeo star could still attract women.

Ana crossed the room, sat down in the chair beside him and glanced at the view of the Rocky Mountains. The two of them sat in silence for a few seconds, then Ana said, “We got the loan to start building the lodge and cabins.”

She threw it out there to see how her father would react, good or bad.

“Good.”

She was a little surprised. Colt had always been a private man. He’d never wanted anyone on his land.

“So you’re okay with this business venture? There will be anglers and other guests on the ranch.”

He nodded.

“You want me to go ahead with this?”

Colt turned and looked at her. “Y-yes, Ana, I w-want you there v-very much.”

She blinked, surprised at the clarity of his speech. “You’re talking.”

He nodded again.

“How long?”

“It’s b-been getting b-better every day.”

She smiled. “Oh, Tori and Josie and Marissa are going to be so happy.”

He shook his head. “No, p-please don’t tell them. Y...yet.”

“Why?”

“They won’t c-come back.”

Ana was confused. “You want them to come home?”

There was a flash of sadness in his eyes before he glanced away. “’Cause, I m-miss you all.”

Ana felt angry, though tears gathered in her eyes. She shook her head in disbelief. “No, don’t say that if you don’t mean it.”

Her father reached for her hand. She could feel the strength, the calluses on the pads of his fingers. “I m-made m-mistakes. I need to fix them.”

Part of her wanted to run, but the other wanted to embrace this man. “Why now? You never seemed to want us around when we were growing up. We did everything to try and please you, but it wasn’t enough. It was never enough.” She jumped up and moved to the other side of the room. “And now you suddenly want us to act like we’re one big, happy family.”

“No!” he said, his voice strong. “I w-want to make it up to you.” He held her gaze. But there was so much emotion showing on his face she had to look away. Why was he doing this to her?

“Ana, I’m s-sorry. I wasn’t the f-father I sh-should have been to you girls. Please give me a second ch-chance to make it up to you.”

Her chest hurt so badly she couldn’t breathe, but Ana wasn’t about to cry. The last thing she needed was to let him see how much she cared that he’d finally said the words she’d ached to hear all those years. Could she forgive him? Would her sisters? She pushed that aside as more hurt surfaced.

“If you loved us so much, why did you give away our land to Vance?”

Colt looked startled by her words. “Ana...I—”

“No, don’t say anything.” She waved her hand. “I’ve got to go,” she said, and hurried from the room. She didn’t want to deal with any of the men in her life.

* * *

The next day, Ana realized she couldn’t handle everything on her own. She picked up the phone in the ranch office and called her sisters.

“Slater Style,” Josie answered.

“Hi, Josie, it’s Ana.”

“Hey, I was about to call you. Wait, let me get Tori and put you on speakerphone.”

After about thirty seconds, Ana’s other sister came on board. “Okay, Ana, tell us what’s going on,” she said. “You have any news from the bank?”

Ana was sad that they hadn’t asked about their father. That was when she realized that telling them of his speedy improvement wouldn’t bring them home anytime soon. And that was top priority.

“Yes, they approved our loan.”

There was a pause, then Josie said, “That’s great. So when do you and Vance break ground on the project?”

“I’m working with Vance as little as possible.”

“Wait a minute,” Josie began. “I thought you and he were the ones Colt put in charge.”

Ana wasn’t sure she wanted to tell them about the land. “Let’s just say we disagree on a lot of things. That doesn’t mean we can’t go ahead with this project.”

“Are you sure?” Josie asked, concern in her voice.

“Yes, G. T. Construction is ready to break ground next week.” Ana prayed her sisters wouldn’t ask any questions about the contractor. “We can’t delay it much longer or we’ll run into bad weather. I want you all involved with this.”

There was silence again and Ana knew the twins were trying to decide what to say next. “How involved do you need us to be?” Tori asked.

“I’ll appreciate any and all of your input and support, because there will be a lot more decisions to make. Next week, I go back full-time to my job at the high school. I won’t be here 24/7 to oversee things.”

“Wait a minute,” Tori interrupted. “What about Vance? He’ll be around, won’t he?”

Ana closed her eyes and released a breath. “Yes, he’s here, but he’s also busy with the ranch business. Right now, he’s cutting the alfalfa crop.” She released another breath, relieved he wasn’t around. She’d seen him on the mower in the field when she drove out to the ranch this morning.

“Isn’t he going to help you supervise this project?” Josie asked.

Ana wasn’t sure of much anymore. “Vance will be acting as the ranch foreman. That’s his job. I’ll oversee things with the contractor.”

“So you can handle this by yourself?”

“I don’t have a choice. We need the revenue or we lose the ranch, and we all agreed that this was a good way to bring in more money. Even Colt agrees.”

“Colt?” Josie said. “How did you get him to agree with the idea?”

That had been more of a courtesy than their father had given her when he deeded away Slater land. “I just told him something needed to be done.” Ana couldn’t help but think about how much of an improvement he’d made. “Speaking of our dad, he’ll be released from the rehab center and be coming home soon. That means we have to think about hiring some help, or one of you needs to come home.”

That got the twins stammering about how their businesses needed their full attention at the moment. They promised they would take it up with their youngest sister.

Ana finally let them off the hook and told them she would handle things. After she hung up the phone, she realized what a job she’d taken on. And unlike before, she would be handling it alone.

She got to her feet, deciding she was hungry. It was already after one o’clock and she needed some nourishment to face her meeting with Garrett. She walked into the kitchen, expecting to find Kathleen, but instead saw Vance looking in the refrigerator.