The Cowboy's Baby Bond (8 page)

She could almost hug the man for the way his voice caught. Instead, she laughed softly. “He's fine.”

Johnny looked at her, his expression going from shock to relief to laughter. “I am in awe of your cleverness.”

She felt her smile clear to the back of her eyes. “And every word of it was true. Not once did I have to lie. I just presented some facts and let the men come to their own conclusion.” She sobered and stared down the road. “They made me nervous.”

“Me, too.” He gripped her shoulder as if he wanted to make sure she was okay.

Slowly she brought her gaze back to him. “Thank you for staying with us. It made me feel safer.”

“I will do whatever I can to protect you and Adam.” His words erased the last of her fear and settled into her heart like a warm, sweet presence.

Their eyes held, neither of them blinking, neither of them attempting to break away. Never had she felt so safe, so cared for, so... She could not think of any other way to describe this new feeling. Only it wasn't new. It was as old as mankind. The need for connection. For value. Something she'd lost when her parents died and she'd been forced to marry Bertie. Never had she felt so alone as she did in that marriage.

Somewhere in the depths of her brain, an argument began to build. She had no right to expect Johnny to fill those needs. He would be shocked to think it had even crossed her mind. Sucking in air, hoping to clear her thoughts, she broke the contact. “I suppose we can safely resume our journey.”

His hand fell from her shoulder, leaving her cold and regretful. “Give me a moment to take care of Gray.”

He unsaddled the horse and tied it again to the back of the wagon, then they both resumed their normal positions on the bench.

But something had changed. At least in her mind. Johnny seemed bigger, kinder and more trustworthy.

Whoa. You're getting way ahead of yourself. Johnny is a noble, principled man, but that doesn't mean anything is different
.

She reminded herself that he had plans. Plans that would take him in an entirely different direction than the one that flickered through her thoughts.

In an attempt to bring her thinking back to where it belonged, she said, “Tell me about your other brother.”

“Tanner. He married recently and he and Susanne adopted the four children she was raising. Her brother's children. Tanner looks the most like our ma—the most Indian of us all—and sometimes he resented that. He got a lot of harassment in town.” Johnny chuckled. “'Course, he asked for some of it. He never could walk away from trouble.”

“Why? Did he think he needed to defend your mother's race?”

“That's part of it, I suppose. And perhaps it's just his nature to fight for things.”

That idea intrigued Willow. “So what's your nature?”

Johnny grew thoughtful. “I suppose I'm more peaceful, but I do believe in trust and truth.”

His words condemned her. She trusted him, but she could never be completely truthful with him.

“How long until we reach Martens?” She turned her worry to her sisters, where it belonged.

“We should be there by suppertime. I believe there's a hotel where you and Adam and your sisters can stay, and then we'll begin the return journey tomorrow.”

“You'll be glad to see the end of us. We've kept you from your own plans.” She'd said much the same before and he'd assured her he wasn't upset, but she wanted to hear it again.

“I still have time before Thad gets back.”

That was hardly the answer she wanted. It offered no comfort, no assurance that he enjoyed spending time with her.

Well, why had she thought it might be so? And why did she care? She had her plans, as well. Best she keep her mind on those. She mentally considered the home she would make with Celia, Sarah and Adam. They'd do things the way they had when Ma and Pa were alive. Pleasant mealtimes when they enjoyed each other's company. And Bible reading and prayer after the evening meal? It had been the Hendrickses' custom. Well, why not? It couldn't hurt and the one thing she meant to achieve was to live up to the Hendricks name. A more noble family than the Reames, though Mr. Reames would be mightily offended to hear her say so.

She expanded her plans. The girls would go to school. They'd attend church every Sunday. They'd go on picnics and take part in community functions. Would Johnny also be there? If so, would he be pleased to see her? Would he seek her out? Perhaps partner her when the occasion called for it?

She grunted. How had she gone full circle, back to thinking of Johnny? Where was this cabin he meant to share with Thad? Miles and miles into the mountains, perhaps? She might never see him again. There was no point in thinking otherwise.

The sun angled toward the west as they plodded along the trail. With every passing mile, her tension grew. “Why would they get off the train ahead of time? Do you suppose they ran into some cowboys like that pair that made me so uncomfortable?”

“No way of telling until we find them and ask them.” Johnny's calm words did nothing to reassure her and she rattled on, needing to get her worries out in the open. Maybe she hoped he would offer comfort or some kind of reasonable explanation.

“I can see Celia getting off if she thought they were in danger. Or if she was afraid of something. But would that stop some men from following them?”

“That might not be the reason.”

“No, I suppose not. Maybe someone offered them something.”

“Like what?”

She shrugged. “Maybe a job. Or money.” Why would any offer make them choose not to join Willow? “I simply don't know.”

Adam wakened and they stopped to give him some biscuits and a drink, then moved on, the baby perched on Johnny's knee.

Willow looked at her happy little son, then jerked her gaze away as guilt and regret burned through her veins. Every little boy deserved a father who spent time with him and adored him, but her foolish decision to be intimate with a man without marriage had robbed her son of that opportunity. She would never divulge the secret that could destroy him. Even more, she had seen how a man treated a child that wasn't his. She vowed to protect Adam from both.

Still, her gaze eased back to Johnny, who grinned at the little boy on his knee.

He looked up and caught her watching. His smile deepened and his eyes darkened as they regarded each other. She could almost persuade herself that he felt as drawn to her as she was to him.

Then he shifted and commented on the passing scenery, and she knew she'd imagined it. Maybe wished for it, even knowing it could never be.

She must protect Adam, she said to herself over and over. She must not allow any weakness on her part to make her forget that. Not even the way her heart tipped toward Johnny.

Chapter Eight

J
ohnny would never voice his worries aloud but he was concerned. Would they find her sisters waiting calmly in Martens or had, as Willow feared, some misfortune beset them? Were they running from danger? Or had they been kidnapped? The country was full of men with evil in their hearts, as they had so recently witnessed, but there was no point in considering all the possibilities. He wouldn't know until they found them.

To divert himself from useless suspicions, he played peekaboo with Adam, who alternately ducked his face against Willow's arm and then turned to grin at Johnny.

Such a sweet little boy. Maybe after Willow got her family settled, she'd invite Johnny to join them for a meal. Or he might drop by and visit of his own accord. Would she welcome him? Or think his visit an intrusion?

Willow strained forward, as if she could hurry the wagon on.

The scenery changed. There were lower hills, fewer trees, but endless blue sky that ought to cheer up the most discouraged of mankind.

Willow looked around as if noticing the same thing. “Seems you can see forever.”

“Yup. I haven't been this way for years.” He might as well talk. It helped pass the time and made it impossible to concentrate on problems. “Last time, I came with my father and brothers to meet a man who was my mother's uncle.”

Willow shifted to watch him, her gaze clinging to his. Could she see the joy of that occasion in his eyes?

“I thought the man very, very old and was almost afraid to speak to him or touch him. He laughed at something Tanner said. Tanner seemed to like the old man, so I decided I did, too. I was eight years old at the time. It was just before Pa married Maisie.

“Uncle Red Fox brought us a gift.” Johnny waited a beat, liking the way interest built in Willow's expression.

“What was it?”

“A secret.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Why would you lead me down the story trail if you weren't going to tell me?”

He chuckled. “No, what he gave us was an old family secret. Do you want to know what it was?”

“Are you going to continue to tease me?” She scowled at him but Johnny plainly saw the flicker of enjoyment in her eyes.

He grinned and, despite himself, rubbed his knuckles across her jaw. “Teasing is more fun than telling, don't you think?”

Her eyes darkened and her throat worked.

His mouth dried. Maybe teasing wasn't a good idea. He slowly withdrew his hand to stroke Adam's head, smiling at the watchful little boy.

“Enough teasing,” she said.

Johnny wondered at the huskiness of her voice, but turned his attention to the road ahead before he could do something he would later regret. He cleared his throat before he spoke. “My mother was an important person because she had saved her whole village from being slaughtered. She'd been out digging up roots and overheard enemies planning to attack them. She slipped away as silent as moonbeams and ran the entire six miles back to camp to warn everyone. Uncle Red Fox said he didn't want us to forget who we were—sons of a brave woman.”

“Your mother never told you that story?”

“I think she was too modest. Perhaps Uncle Red Fox knew that, too, so he came to tell us.”

“She sounds like a special woman.”

“She was.” Something deep in his heart smoothed out at the knowledge that Willow didn't seem to see Seena as an Indian, but simply as a brave woman.

“You miss her.”

“I do, though Maisie has been the best mother one could ask for.”

Willow shifted to stare straight ahead, but even from this angle he could see tension around her mouth. Had he misjudged her reaction to talk of Seena? The rough spot in his heart returned. He had to know.

“Willow, what's wrong? Is it what I said? Is it about Seena?”

She shook her head. “It's nothing like that. It's just something your words triggered.”

“About my mother?” Let her decide which mother he meant.

“No, of course not.”

“Tell me.” Why was he being so insistent? He didn't need to know her every thought. Except he wanted to. He wanted to know what had upset her, why her eyes carried such darkness.

“You wouldn't understand.”

That accusation burned through him. Hadn't he been considerate and understanding since the moment he'd found her stranded halfway from Wolf Hollow? “How do you know if you won't at least give me a chance?” He wanted her to trust him. To tell him what she was thinking.

She sighed. “Having a stepparent worked out well for you. It doesn't for most children.”

Ah. Now it made sense. She worried that if she married again it would be hurtful for Adam. A noble concern but... “It's possible to love a child not born of you. They can be born in your heart.” His gaze dropped to Adam. Johnny knew he could love a child who wasn't his own.

He met her gaze and read surprise and hope. And then she shook her head and faced forward again.

He told himself it didn't matter that she didn't believe him, but it did. It stung. He could love Adam. Maybe he already did. It was on the tip of his tongue to say so but he was saved from himself by the sight of the small town ahead.

“We're almost there.”

Willow leaned forward so far he grabbed her arm for fear she'd fall out. She held Adam far too tightly, making the child squirm.

Johnny took the baby. “We'll soon be there and find your sisters.” He tickled Adam under the chin and earned himself a chuckle. If he was interested in marriage, a little boy like this would only sweeten the prospect.

They drew near the town, a good-sized place much like Granite Creek.

“We'll check at the train station first. The agent will have noticed them getting off.”

Willow squeezed his arm. There would be a bruise, but he'd look at it and recall how she'd reached out to him in her distress. The thought brought a smile to his mouth as he drove to the platform and stopped.

She was down before the wagon stopped rocking, and up the steps, flying toward the door.

“Your mama is in an awful hurry,” Johnny said to Adam as they followed. He caught up to her as the agent at the wicket looked up at Willow's rushed approach.

“I'm looking for my sisters,” she blurted out, breathlessly.

“Sure hope you find them.” The angular man continued to turn pages in a ledger.

“No. You don't understand. They got off here day before yesterday. Did you see them?”

“Couldn't say. Lots of people go through here. I don't ask their relationship to each other.”

Johnny joined Willow at the wicket. “Sir, these were girls of ten and fourteen. You happen to notice anyone fitting that description?”

“Two days ago, you say?” He finally looked up. “I saw them, all right. There were in an awful hurry and seemed to be arguing between themselves.”

Willow pressed forward. “Where did they go?”

“They went off the platform. After that I can't say.”

Willow turned to Johnny, her eyes wide and pleading.

He patted her arm. “Did you happen to see where they were headed or hear them say anything?”

“A couple of gents asked the same questions. I'll tell you what I told them. I don't ask passengers their business. After they leave here, I don't follow them to see where they go.”

Willow sagged against the counter. “Two men were after them?”

The agent tipped his nose up to look at Willow through his glasses. “That's what I said.”

Johnny wrapped an arm about her shoulders and turned her away. “They aren't here and we'll learn nothing more from this man. We'll look elsewhere.” He eased her outside and to the nearest wooden bench, which she sank onto as if her legs had given out.

He sat beside her, Adam on one knee, and pulled her close. “We'll find them.”

“We won't find them sitting here.” She jumped to her feet and hurried back to the wagon. She climbed to the seat before he reached the steps.

“Where to?” she asked.

He liked that she expected he'd know what to do
. Father God, please help us find those girls.
“We'll check the hotel.”

Arriving there, they learned no girls were checked in, nor had they been. Johnny asked where to find the sheriff, and the clerk pointed out the building.

“But he's out of town at the moment.”

Willow and Johnny left the hotel and stood on the sidewalk, looking up and down the street. She tugged on the hair escaping about her ear and worried her lip.

“My sisters are missing,” she wailed.

“We'll find them.” Johnny kept his voice calm and steady, hoping she couldn't catch a hint of his own concern. Two young girls with two men showing an unusual interest didn't sound good.

* * *

Willow tried to slow her breathing, but it continued to rasp in and out as Johnny led her to a nearby bench and they sat down.

“Ever since I heard they got off, I let myself believe they'd simply gone in search of a treat and missed the train. Yes, I wondered if something bad might have happened, but I never let myself believe it. They missed the train. That was all.” She clung to him even though she didn't fear collapsing as she had back at the train station. But she couldn't let go. His arm beneath her fingers was all that kept her from screaming in fear and frustration. “Where are they?” She swallowed hard. She would not cry.

Johnny shifted Adam to his knee so he could reach around the baby and take her hands.

Adam's eyes were wide and watchful.

Guilt wrapped around her worry. “Poor baby, Mama has you worried, doesn't she?”

He gave her a teary smile.

“You're okay, baby.” She leaned over him.

Johnny pressed his head to hers and they sheltered the baby between them.

She calmed down enough to realize she had no idea what to do next. “I guess we start driving around, hoping to see them somewhere.”

“I could take you and Adam to the hotel. You could rest and—”

“No, if my sisters think some men are after them, they will run from you, too.” They had no way of knowing they could trust Johnny.

“How long before he'll need to eat?” Johnny asked, nodding toward Adam.

Willow knew her eyes likely brimmed with guilt at neglecting Adam, with regret for how her decisions always hurt him and with rampant fear over her missing sisters.

Johnny still held her hands and squeezed them, giving her a steady smile. “This isn't your fault.”

“It feels like it is. If I hadn't sent for them, but had gone and gotten them...” If she hadn't done so many of the things she'd done. So many things she regretted.

“Why don't I take you to the café and you can get Adam something to eat? While you feed him, I'll ask around at the various businesses.”

She wanted to refuse. Both of them should be looking, but he was right. Adam didn't need to suffer for this. “Very well. But don't be long.”

Johnny handed Adam to her and pointed across the street toward the café, and they parted ways.

She paused outside the place to glance back at him.

He turned, his hand on the door of the general store, and nodded.

Reassured that he would question every store and business owner, she hurried inside. A gray-haired woman in a neat black dress and big white apron greeted her, showed her to a table next to a window and took her order. Willow stopped her before she hurried away.

“Have you seen two girls? They're ten and fourteen.”

“I had a pair like that in for breakfast yesterday. They seemed in an awful hurry. I asked them some questions, friendly-like, you know. The littler one might have answered me, but the bigger one shushed her. I've not seen hide nor hair of them since. Not in here or out there.” She tipped her head to indicate the street.

Willow thanked the woman. At least they'd been in the area yesterday, and free.

Was that still the case?

Her heart pounded so hard Willow wondered that the kindly lady didn't hear, but she left to get their food without commenting.

Adam ate greedily. The poor baby was in need of a warm, nourishing meal. And a cot where he could get a decent sleep, though it likely didn't matter to him if he slept in a bed or a wagon. But there would be no real rest for any of them until she found Celia and Sarah.

Her stomach soured. Esther's prayer for them to find the girls quickly had not been answered. It seemed God did not care to answer on Willow's behalf.

Johnny returned as Adam finished his meal.

“Several people have seen them, but not since yesterday,” he reported.

“Did anyone mention the men?”

Johnny hesitated.

“They did and you don't want to tell me.”

“Only one person mentioned it.”

Willow grabbed Adam and hurried from the café, grateful she'd already paid for the meal. She paused outside, as out of breath as if she'd run the last five miles to town.

Johnny followed her and took Adam as if he thought she might drop him. How could he know her arms were so weak?

“Esther's prayers accomplished nothing.” Willow didn't even try to disguise her disappointment and fear.

He eyed her calmly. “Maybe you need to learn God hears you because He loves you.”

She rolled her head back and forth, which did nothing to ease the tension in her neck. “I don't know that. He's never proved it to me.”

“God doesn't need to prove anything.”

The answer angered her. “Because I don't matter or because He doesn't care?”

Johnny remained undisturbed by her ire. “Because He gave His only Son.” He cupped Adam's head. “That's how much He loves us.”

Willow's anger melted away. “God loves the world. I believe that. But does He love me? I've made such a mess of things.” She clamped her lips together before the sorry details of her life could leak out.