The Cowboy's Holiday Blessing (11 page)

“It's already rooted, Jackson. This is more like having to weed a garden that's been let go.”

“I understand.”

She put her hand on the edge of the card and tore just a little. “This isn't easy.”

“No, I bet it isn't. But remember, the only thing in there are words, and if you don't like them, toss them in the trash, burn them, never open another card from her.”

“Right.” She slid her finger under the flap and pulled out a Christmas card.

Emotions flickered across her face as she read. Jackson watched, waiting, not pushing. She bit down on her bottom lip and then her eyes closed briefly. Finally she shrugged and handed him the card.

“She was pregnant, sixteen and living on the streets. She thought Rainbow Valley sounded peaceful, like a place to raise a baby.”

“Are you glad you read the card?”

“It changes things.” She took the card back, looked it over again and then slid it into the envelope. “But it doesn't change what happened. It doesn't answer the other questions. Now I have more questions. Why didn't she leave?”

“I guess those are questions only she can answer. But maybe not questions to answer in a card.”

“Sara wasn't really my sister.”

Jackson moved his arm, encircling her slim shoulders and pulling her close. Two weeks ago she'd been a neighbor, not even a friend.

“Maddie, did you ever think that the two of us would be sitting here together sharing huge events in each other's lives?”

“Never.”

He laughed at her strong response. “You make it sound like the worst thing that could have happened to you.”

She looked up and took him by surprise. Her hand touched his cheek, rested there and then moved to his shoulder. “It hasn't been the worst thing at all.”

The door opened and Doc walked out, carrying the injured puppy. His weathered gaze shot from Madeline to Jackson and he shook his head. “Some things never change. Here's the dog. And here's the bill.”

“Is she going to be okay?” Madeline touched the dog's back.

Doc handed Jackson the slip of paper. “A broken leg, but she'll heal quickly enough. You paying?”

“I can…” Madeline reached for the bill.

Jackson shook his head. “No, I'll pay for this.”

Madeline took the puppy and held her close. The same puppy she hadn't been too fond of yesterday. Jackson wrote out a check for the vet bill and walked her out the door.

“What's the deal between you and Doc?” she asked as Jackson opened the truck door for her.

“He caught me parking with his daughter about sixteen years ago and he has a long memory.” Jackson waited for her to get in the truck and then he leaned in close. “And back then he had a pretty good aim with his shotgun.”

“He shot you?”

“Nope, he shot the tires off my truck. I had a hard time explaining that one to my dad.”

He closed the door and walked around to the driver's side. The story had grown over time and with numerous tellings, but his version was still the truth. And maybe knowing it would show Madeline why he was the last person she needed her name connected with.

But maybe it was a little too late to be thinking about that.

D
awson Community Church cancelled Wednesday-night services. With just three weeks until Christmas and less than two weeks before the living nativity was scheduled to begin, it was decided they needed more practice, so everyone involved would meet at Dawson Community Center. Madeline had planned on picking Jade up after school but Jackson told her he'd bring her with him.

Madeline pulled into the community center parking lot shortly before six. People were already there. Lights had been plugged in outside, huge shop lights with bright halogen bulbs. She walked up to the building, searching the crowds for that familiar face.

Searching for Jackson. She shook her head and told herself to stop. Before long Jade would be going back to her mother. Jackson would go back to his life and she'd go back to living in her empty house, uncluttered, unencumbered, empty. And she would be happy for that day to come.

Really she would.

“Madeline.”

She turned quickly, spotted Jade and smiled. “You have ketchup on your chin.”

Jade scrubbed at her face with her hand. “Better?”

“Yeah, sure.” Madeline rubbed away the last smudge of ketchup. “What did you have for dinner?”

“Jackson made corn dogs.”

“Nice.” She turned, saw Jackson walk through the door and averted her gaze, returning her attention to the girl in front of her. “Did you have a good day?”

“Yeah, but he's a grouch.”

Madeline nodded and decided to let it go. “Come downstairs with me. I have to get dressed and you can hang with me. If you want?”

“Yeah, I want. How's the puppy?”

“Same as this morning, pitiful. I think she isn't as bad as she wants us to think.”

Jade laughed at that. “I think she loves the attention.” And then the girl's smile faded. “I'm going to miss her.”

Because this weekend they were going to Oklahoma City to try and find her mother. “I know, but you'll get to see her again.”

“When?” Jade walked next to her, small and slim, a kid who worked hard at being strong.

“Soon. I promise.”

“Right.”

Madeline turned to the girl. “Jade, I keep my promises.”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Hey, where are you two going?” Jackson appeared next to Madeline.

“Downstairs to get dressed. Don't you have something to build?” Madeline had realized something lately. She didn't know how to have an easygoing con
versation with a man. She tried but it came out more like an order, less like banter.

“I do have work to do. I'll catch up with you later.”

Madeline nodded and then he left. She ignored Jade's knowing glances and headed downstairs. Next to her Jade giggled.

“What's so funny?”

“The two of you, acting like you don't like each other or like you haven't been spending a lot of time together.”

“We haven't been spending time…” Okay, they had, but not because they wanted to. He had made her a cup of tea Monday after they got home from the vet. He'd listened as she told him little details about her childhood. He'd given advice about finding Sara.

“Yeah, you like him,” Jade teased.

“No, I don't. I mean, I do, but not…” She groaned at the direction the conversation had taken. “Jade, I'm not discussing this with you.”

“Fine, that's okay. But can you do me a favor?”

They were in the kitchen of the community center, surrounded by people, and Madeline didn't know if she wanted to continue the conversation around so many pairs of ears. But Jade's hazel eyes locked with hers, begging.

“What is it?”

“Tell him to keep me. I'm his daughter and I can't go back.”

“Jade, I can't make this decision for him.”

“Then you keep me. Call family services and tell them that my mom isn't fit. You're a teacher, they'll believe you.”

“I can't do that.”

“Of course not. If I hadn't messed up and gotten the
address wrong, you'd still be doing your own thing and you wouldn't be bothered with us.”

Madeline hugged the girl. “Yes, I would still have my uncomplicated, uncluttered life. I would be sitting alone in the evening in a quiet house with no one to talk to.”

Although a little silence would be nice. With Jade in her home, in her life, silence seemed to be a thing of the past. When Jade left, would Jackson also be a thing of the past?

“I need to get in costume.” She brushed off the thoughts that didn't make sense.

“What do I do?” Jade followed her into the dressing room.

“You can come with me and watch.”

Jade sat down on a stool and watched as Madeline got ready.

“A woman called my da…” Jade looked down and shrugged. “Called Jackson today.”

“Jade, that's personal.” Madeline tied the fabric belt around the waist of the costume.

“Yeah, I guess. I heard him tell her he couldn't see her right now. And I think she must have asked when he could see her and he said he didn't think he'd be seeing her anytime soon.”

Madeline pretended she wasn't listening because hadn't she just said that this information was personal? She didn't need to know what Jackson told women that called his home. Honestly, she didn't care.

Much.

 

Jackson slid the paper with the DNA results back into his pocket along with the other medical information. He had work to do. There were people everywhere.
He sighed and walked through the crowd to the back of the manger. He'd been helping with the star, getting it in place so that it would shine over Bethlehem and the baby Jesus.

Beautiful Star of Bethlehem. He could almost hear his great grandmother singing the song. The memory brought a smile and he hadn't had much to smile about today. He had a lot to think about.

When he turned from the tower holding the star he saw Madeline and Jade walking together, heads bent toward one another, whispering and smiling. He smiled, seeing the two of them together. Yeah, he had a lot to think about.

Later he'd talk to Madeline. He stopped working for a minute to think about that decision. He'd been thinking about her all day, thinking about talking to her, about telling her his news, how his day had gone.

And then he'd anticipated her reaction to the medical tests and the secret he didn't want to share. He watched her walk into place, surrounded by sheep. Jade watched from a short distance away.

Someone walked up behind him. He turned, nodded and tipped his hat to Wyatt Johnson. Wyatt grinned big and turned his attention from Jackson to Madeline, back to Jackson

“Watch out, that one will get under your skin.” Wyatt Johnson smirked a little. Payback for what Jackson had told him last year.

“I don't think so, Wyatt.”

Wyatt laughed, loud. People turned to stare and Wyatt thumped him on the back, jolting him and making him flinch a little.

“Watch the ribs, if you don't mind.” Jackson rolled his shoulders to unkink the muscles.

“That's right, you got tossed last week. You aren't the first guy around here with some broken ribs.”

“I'm not as young as I used to be.” He grimaced, knowing he sounded way too much like a country song.

“Right, you're not. So what's wrong with taking time to get to know one of the nicest single females in this town?” Wyatt watched his own wife head their way. Something stabbed at Jackson's heart. Jealousy? Nah, couldn't be.

“Nothing wrong with it, Wyatt. But I think she's a little out of my league.”

“She probably is.” Wyatt raised his hand to thump Jackson on the back a second time and Jackson moved to the side.

“Could you not?”

“Oh, sorry, didn't know you were so weak.”

“Right, weak.”

“You're not your normal humorous self.” Wyatt turned to watch the beginning of the living nativity as it got underway. His voice lowered. “Seriously, is there anything I can do to help?”

“No, not right now.” Jackson shoved his hands in his pocket, feeling the paper that he'd gotten that day. “I'm good.”

“Well, it was good to see you in church on Sunday. You plan on coming back this Sunday?”

“No.” He had to explain, not leave Wyatt hanging. Although that would have been fun. He watched the progression of Mary on the donkey, Joseph at her side.

He finally turned and smiled at Wyatt who had the good sense not to push, but he looked pretty tense with all of those unasked questions rolling around inside him.

“Wyatt, I'll be back. I'm taking Jade to Oklahoma
City this weekend.” He watched Mary and Joseph exit the inn, looking young and perplexed. “But I'm coming back. I guess I got tired of going and having to face questions, a few accusing looks, my own guilt.”

“So what's changed?”

Jackson didn't mean to but he looked in the direction of Jade. And Madeline. He tried to brush it off, to pretend it had nothing to do with either of them. It really did have more to do with him.

“I guess a guy has to face his life. Time to make some changes.”

“She's a cute kid.”

Jackson nodded but didn't say more. Yeah, Jade was cute. She looked like him. She had his eyes. Sometimes it looked as if she had his smile.

“She's great,” Jackson agreed. She had somehow survived a childhood that hadn't been much of a childhood and a mother who hadn't been a mother.

He refocused on Madeline as a shepherdess. As he watched the angels appeared. Madeline went down on her knees, covering her head with her arm. Jackson walked away from Wyatt. He walked closer to the scene of the shepherds leaving the field and walking toward the manger. He stood close as Mary revealed her newborn son and angels began to sing. The shepherds bowed at her feet.

Jackson stood there waiting for normal to return. But it wouldn't and he knew that. He'd changed. Maybe this was the new normal? Maybe this was his new life? Something had to be wrong with him. He'd turned down a date today with a woman he'd gone out with off and on for the last two years. She was a lawyer's daughter and owned a clothing boutique in Tulsa. She was uncomplicated.

He'd turned her down because of the shepherdess kneeling not ten feet from him. The same shepherdess who looked up at that moment and caught him staring. Yeah, he was definitely losing control of his life.

Jade saw him standing there, watching. She smiled big and bounced away from the group she'd been crowded in with. A kid who thought she was his. He thought about her future and it left a pretty big space in his heart because she deserved a home, a life with people who cared about her.

Tomorrow he would try again to contact her mother. And if he couldn't, then what? He had a load of bulls to take to Oklahoma City. He could try to find her. But he couldn't keep Jade indefinitely. He couldn't expect Madeline to raise her. He'd considered talking to his parents.

But this one was in his court.

The program ended. Jade stood at his side, a skinny kid in a big, puffy coat. Her cheeks were pink from the cold and her nose was red. She smiled up at him.

“This is great.” Her tone was all happiness and sunshine.

“Yeah, it is.” He pulled her close to his side for an instant and thought about moments in the future and how it would change everything for her.

“Is it time to go now?”

He nodded and watched as Madeline spoke to a few people and then slipped away from the crowd. He watched her. He couldn't stop watching her. He smiled as she walked toward him, toward Jade.

“That was great.” He thought about the three of them, arm in arm, leaving together.

“Thank you. It feels as if it is all coming together.”

“Yeah, it does.” He felt Jade move away from him,
but he couldn't stop staring at the woman in a shepherd's costume. He couldn't stop thinking about holding her close, making her feel safe.

“I'm going inside.” Jade punched his arm. “They're serving hot chocolate and cookies.”

“Go for it. We'll leave soon,” he called out after her. She raised a hand to let him know she'd heard. It made him feel like a dad. Strange, really strange that it could happen so easily, this change in his life.

“Are you okay?” Madeline stood in front of him still. She had zeroed in on his mood. She knew how to do that and it unnerved him a little.

“I'm good.” He didn't reach into his pocket for the piece of paper. “I'm going to try again to contact her mother. If I can't, I have to drive down there and look for her.”

Madeline's gaze drifted to the church, to the door Jade had just skipped through. “I know. It's a shame though. I mean, I know I can't keep her, but I wish she could stay.”

He reached for Madeline's hand. “Let's walk.”

“Oh, okay.” She hesitated, glancing toward the church. Small crowds gathered in front of the building, talking. A few people looked their way.

Yeah, rumors, gossip. He knew the drill.

“We can talk later,” he said, because he didn't want to give people a reason to talk.

“Is this about Jade?”

He nodded once and released her hand. When he did she touched his arm. It would have been easy to hold on to her, to make this about him, not about Jade. But it was about Jade. In the short span of a week his life had become all about a kid.

And a woman.

“I should go.” What he meant was he should escape.

“No, you should come inside.”

Madeline hooked her arm through his. He knew that took a lot for her. He knew that easy gestures weren't always easy, sometimes they took real courage. He pulled her close to his side and leaned to drop a kiss on the top of her head.

“Inside, huh? Right into the midst of gossip and speculation?”

She laughed a little. “Are you afraid?”

“Shaking in my boots.”

“I'll be with you.” She said it in a breathless way and he looked down to see if her expression matched. She looked up at him, surprise flickering in her eyes.