The Cowboy's Secret Baby: A BWWM Pregnancy Romance (7 page)

Chapter6

Jonathon drove home, his heart and his head tangled in confusion about his feelings for Maggie. He took a deep breath and made himself let go of the emotion and desire that had stirred in him, that seemed to continue to stir in him every time he was around her.
I have a fiancée
, he thought to himself, and she was who he needed to be focusing his attentions and desire on. Though he tried to push them away, thoughts of Maggie would slip into his mind and steal his breath away from him. There was so much about her that he was fascinated with; her strength, her passion, her dedication, her beauty, and especially the way that everything in him seemed to come to life all at once when she was in his arms and his lips were on her.

He pulled into the garage at the ranch and went upstairs to look for Janis. She was in her room again, sitting at her laptop. She closed it down when he walked in and she stood up to talk to him.

“Janis, I wonder if we could talk now; we have some important things to discuss,” he told her quietly as he stepped into her room.

She sighed and held her hands together in front of her. “Yes, there are some things to discuss,” she said, and then she walked toward him.

“I have given this situation of yours a great deal of thought, and I want you to know how hurt and upset I am that you’ve got a child with another woman. You are well aware that I am a traditional woman, and I wanted to marry a man who could give me all that I would be giving him. I am coming into this marriage without having children from another man. I am going to give you children that will be ours, born in our marriage to us, and I want those to be the only children we have and raise,” she said as she lifted her chin and looked at him pointedly.

He looked at her in confusion and took a step toward her. “What are you talking about?” he asked.

“I don’t want you to see that woman, or the child she says is yours. I want you to let her go; I want you to give yourself to me and let us have our own family.” She walked closer to him and looked up at him, placing her hands on his chest. “Please, Jonathon. You are my fiancée, and you will be my husband, give me what I am prepared to give you, and give me what I’m asking you for. Let her go. Don’t see her anymore, and don’t see that bastard child of hers. You don’t even know if that child is yours. You were gone for two years; that child could belong to anyone,” she said coolly as she looked up at him imploringly.

He stared at her in shock. “What on earth are you saying? That is my child and I want to be in her life; I’m her father. You can’t ask me to give her up and deny her! You can’t ask me to desert her because she isn’t yours! How dare you call her a bastard!”

Her porcelain face with its stillness transformed into a sad pout. “Oh darling, don’t be upset. Of course it’s a bastard child; you aren’t married to the mother. That’s just a fact. It’s also a fact that the child probably isn’t even yours. Have you had tests done? Do you know that she hadn’t slept with anyone around the same time she was sleeping with you?”

Jonathon felt nausea cramping his stomach. “I am positive that that little girl is mine. There is no question in my mind. She’s my daughter, and she is not going anywhere. Neither am I.”

Janis narrowed her eyes and lowered her brows in frustration. “So you just plan on sticking me with a child who isn’t mine, making me a step-mother before I’m even a mother, and all the while keeping that woman in your life? I won’t have it, Jonathon, I will not stand for that! You are my husband, my lover, and you are coming into a promise with me that you will continue to be mine for the rest of our lives. I expect you to stay true to that. I expect you to put me above all others in your life, just as our vows say that you will. I expect you to let go of all of your past and make me your future; you let all of your mistakes go, and that girl and her child are a mistake, just something that might have happened that should never have happened. I am your future. I am your whole life until you die; I am your best friend, your wife, your lover, and I should come first before everyone else, so make me that promise and put me first!” she insisted as she drew near to him and slid her arms around him, pressing herself to him and lifting her lips close to his.

“If you put me first, I will give you everything that you want and everything you need, and you won’t have any place in your life for the mistakes of your past, because I will fill your life up with good things in your future. I will give you a family, and I will give you a good life. Now, promise me that you will let go of your mistakes,” she said in a low voice as she pressed her lips to his and kissed him hard, squeezing his body to hers.

He was caught off guard by her kiss, and by her strong embrace around him, and for a moment he let her kiss him, and she opened his mouth with hers, demanding and strong, twisting her tongue around his and holding him snugly to her.

Her words kept striking at him and he leaned back and pushed her away slightly. “Janis, we have to work this out. She’s my daughter and I’m not going to give her up but I’m not going to give you up either; we can work through this. I have time and love and attention enough for her and you; as well as for the family we make together.”

She glared at him. “You can’t even see it! Already she is taking part of you from me. Already she is dividing your attention and your love that should be meant for me, all mine, and for our children born in our marriage. I’m giving you all of me, and I want the same in return, Jonathon. I want all of you to be mine, every part of you, and there is no place for division in our marriage. Don’t you want all of me?” she asked, taking his hand and lifting it to her breast. She stepped toward him again and kissed him, her lips insistent; consuming his as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“You could have everything that you want,” she said between kisses. “More than you could ever imagine, but you have to promise me all of yourself.” She sucked on his tongue as her hands rubbed the back of his neck. “Promise me...” she whispered as she kissed him more. “Give me all of yourself. Just let them go and be with me.” She breathed against his mouth.

Jonathon could feel nothing but confusion and anger toward her and he pushed her away from him. “How can you ask me that? How can you ask me to give up my own child for you?”

She narrowed her eyes at him again and her voice grew cold. “How could you only offer part of yourself to me when you know I’m giving all of myself to you?” she demanded angrily.

He turned from her in anger, looking at the wall that had been behind him. “There has to be another solution, Janis. I’m keeping my daughter in my life and that’s all there is to it. You can either marry me and have a beautiful step-daughter, or you can call off the wedding and find a man without a child. I don’t want to lose you, but I’m not letting her go for you.”

She reached for him, looking distraught. “How can you ask me to make a choice like that? How can you be so selfish? I am giving you everything and you are giving me a fraction of what you offered me when you asked me to marry you! You promised me your whole life and now you want to splinter that up between me and another woman and her child, and you don’t even know if that child is yours!” She reached for him and he backed away from her.

“How can
you
be so selfish? How can you ask me to abandon my own daughter for you!” he raised his voice slightly, confounded at her resoluteness about his being solely hers.

“I am asking you to let go of your mistakes and let me give you a whole new life that is based out of our marriage! I am asking you to give me what you promised me you would give me when you asked me to marry you,” she insisted.

He shook his head and backed further from her. “I’ve given you your choices. I’m not going to let them go. I won’t. I gave my word.”

She glared at him. “You gave your word to me first!”

“My daughter comes before anyone else,” he said quietly and he turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

He couldn’t believe she had the gall to try to make him choose between his daughter and her. He had left his daughter alone long enough, and nothing was going to ever keep him away from her again.

Anger and frustration building in him just being around Janis, he decided to go for a drive. He climbed into the car and drove toward town, his mind completely tangled about Janis and her demands, and his emotions toward Maggie and his dedication toward Carly.

He drove through town, and around the streets and eventually, he found himself at Maggie’s without really meaning to be there. Her home had not been his original destination. He saw that her light was on and he went to her door and knocked softly.

She answered it and looked up at him in surprise. “Hi! I thought we had seen the last of you tonight, but it’s nice to have you back. Come in!” she smiled at him.

He walked in and sat on the sofa and she brought out a bottle of wine and poured a glass for him, and then sat beside him.

“What brings you back?” she asked him curiously. He looked troubled to her and she wondered what was wrong.

He shook his head. “Just things at home that I need to work out. I didn’t even really mean to come here, I just... sort of wound up... here,” he said smiling lightly at her.

She frowned a little and tilted her head. “I’m sorry things aren’t great at your place. I got some good news today when I got home, though.”

Jonathon brightened slightly. “You did? What is it?”

She could not hide her happiness. “Well, you know the company I wanted to work for?”

He nodded.

“They have a job opening here in Jackson Hole and because of your help with the baby, I am able to take care of all my student debts and finish my last semester, which I found out today that I can do online now, and that has changed, because I couldn’t before. Then, when I graduate I could work here. I think I would be able to get the job as I’m already here. Wouldn’t that be incredible? I put an application in for it. If I get it, that means that I could keep living here and you could help me raise Carly. Your parents could see her whenever they want to, and she could have all of her family around her.”

Maggie had been so thrilled to get the news, and none of it would have been possible without Jonathon’s help, and his parents’ gift to her as well. Their generosity had opened her future back up to her, and she hadn’t been so happy since before she was pregnant. She felt as if her life had been given back to her and nothing was holding her back from the future she was meant to have.

Jonathon grinned at her in excitement. “That’s wonderful news! I’m so happy to hear it. Now you can do what you wanted to, and nothing can stop you!”

Her happiness was contagious and the anxiety and frustration he had felt began to dissipate a little.

“I thought it was going to be at least four more years before I was able to do this. It means so much to me, and I couldn’t have done it without you and without your parents. Thank you.” Her eyes were shining with happiness as she took his hand in hers.

Jonathon smiled. “I’m so pleased for you. That really straightens so much out for you.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to talk about what’s wrong for you and maybe I can help you straighten that out too?”

He shook his head. “It’s.... it’s just that Janis and I had a fight. She wants me to let you and Carly go; she feels like she is getting cheated out of a life that was just going to be her and me, and now she’ll have a step-daughter to deal with, and she is angry and doesn’t want it to be that way, but I am not about to let the two of you go. That means that things are probably going to be difficult between her and you, and I don’t know how it will work out. I do want you to know though, nothing is going to keep me from you and Carly; you two are my family and you aren’t going anywhere. It doesn’t matter what kind of selfish demands she makes, nothing is more important than that little girl sleeping in the other room.”

She felt like his declaration about his daughter made her glow inside and she raised her chin and spoke softly to him. “Don’t you worry about it. We’re going to raise her together because that’s what you want to do, and it’s what I want, and we have every right to do it. Our daughter has two loving parents who are putting her above everything else, and she is going to have a wonderful life with both of us, and nothing is going to change that.” She reached her hand to Jonathon’s chin and touched it gently, lifting it to look into his eyes.

“No matter what happens, Carly and I aren’t going anywhere. We’ll be here with you,” she promised him with a smile.

He felt so assured with her, so comforted, almost as if with her, nothing in the world could go wrong. He lifted his hand to hers and held it, turning his head slightly and kissing her palm. As he did so, she felt that familiar warmth and it made her breath catch, and he saw it, and realized how much of an effect he had on her. He felt a heat in him that was much more powerful than it had been up to that point and he could see it in her, as well.

Maggie tried to control her breathing and her heart, but as Jonathon’s gaze held her fast, she could not slow them down, and she could not turn away from him as he leaned toward her and closed his eyes, brushing his lips against hers, kissing her softly and tenderly.

Desire began to stir between them both and though they both knew that they shouldn’t, they both threw caution to the wind, and he slipped his arms around her and drew her to him, his kiss deepening as he parted her lips and curled his tongue around hers. She moaned softly as everything in her came to life and began to catch fire, and he felt the same thing in him.