The Cowgirl's Secret (The Diamondback Ranch Series #) (18 page)

The doors flew open and the newly married couple burst outside to be greeted with cheers and hugs from the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Sam left Tori's side to offer his congratulations to Joe and Raenell. Tori held back and watched as he slapped his friend on the back and kissed the bride's cheek. He grinned at something Joe said, and she caught a glimpse of the Sam she knew and loved so well. The contrast of moods chilled her to the bone.

She slipped away from the crowd, intent on finding the restroom where she could get hold of her emotions and give herself a pep talk. She'd known the day was going to be tough. She'd thought she'd prepared herself. But her mental preparations were laughable compared to the harsh reality of facing Sam's cold impersonal presence.

Tears welled up in her eyes, and Tori let them fall unheeded. Luckily, the restroom was empty when she pushed through the door. Maybe if she had a good cry, it would relieve some of the stress and pain engulfing her. Her thoughts were so jumbled and confused. All her life she'd known exactly what she wanted. She'd carefully planned how she'd go about making it happen. She'd been focused and on track.

All that had changed when Sam Garza had turned her world upside down.

Had she made the right choice when she'd broken up with him? Was she a fool to choose school and career over the man she loved? And did she really have to choose? If she changed her mind and Sam still wanted her, could she succeed in pursuing her degree while married? Her brain said one thing, her heart another.

Once again, Tori thought how the timing of it all sucked.

She sniffed back the tears and looked in the mirror above the sink. Oh God. She really needed to get her act together. She couldn't have puffy red eyes for Raenell's wedding pictures.

She washed her hands, letting the cool water run through her fingers while she tried to compose herself. No matter what, she had to get through this day. No way could she let Raenell down.

Drying her hands, Tori took a deep breath for courage. She could do this. She only had to be strong for six or seven more hours. When she got home, she could fall to pieces, but for now, she would act her part with a smile for Raenell's sake.

Tossing the paper towel in the garbage, she exited the lavatory only to run smack dab into Sam. She swallowed hard and made as if to walk around him with no more acknowledgement other than a small smile.

"Oh, no you don't. We need to talk." Sam grabbed her elbow and propelled her down the hallway, pushing her into an empty room and closing the door behind them.

Tori jerked her elbow free, trying desperately to still the trembling in her body and the palpitations hammering in her heart. Her courage was hanging by a thread, unraveling at an alarming rate. She would not cry. Not in front of him. Not again.

"I really don't think this is the time or place for us to talk. Now, if you'll excuse me, we have pictures to take." She made for the door.

Sam blocked the way. "At least have the decency to hear me out." He stood like an angry conquistador, tall and dark and deadly. He clasped his arms across his chest, silent for a moment, his teeth clenched, his eyes now burning with fury . . . and desire.

How could she ever have thought them cold?

Tori's traitorous body readily responded to the sexual tension emanating from him. She felt helpless in the face of his potent masculinity.

Oh God. Why did she have to love him so much?
Why couldn't she have met him
after
she'd graduated from A&M?
After
she'd become a veterinarian?

She couldn't afford to get swept away in the tsunami of emotions she felt for Sam. She was afraid if she gave into temptation, her whole soul and being would be swallowed up and consumed.

Resolutely, she stuffed her feelings and hormones away and lifted her chin. "I don't think there's any more to say." She watched in fascination as his jaw worked and a muscle ticked in his cheek. Adrenalin pumped in her bloodstream like she was facing a dangerous predator. She'd felt this way when she'd first started dating Sam. He was older, more confident, intimidating and
big
.

Tori licked her dry lips and stood her ground.

Sam closed his eyes on a groan. "Goddamn it, Tori.
Don't do that
." He pulled her into a rough embrace and kissed her ruthlessly, almost brutally.

Dear God, how she'd missed him. A thrill shot down her spine as he gripped her nape with one hand and splayed the other on her bottom, pushing her body against the rigid length of his. He plunged his tongue into her mouth and ground his arousal against her stomach. Tori's body instinctively readied itself, dampening her panties, begging for fulfillment. She clung to Sam's shoulders, tiptoeing and wiggling, seeking his heat, his touch, his everything.

A rapid knock on the door and a discreet cough drifted through the sensual haze clouding Tori's mind. Her eyes popped open and she peeked around Sam. One of Joe's brothers stood on the threshold.

"Sorry to intrude," he said, "but they're waiting to take pictures. Everyone's looking for you two."

Sam gripped Tori's shoulders and held her gaze. "Thanks, Dominic," he said over his shoulder. "We'll be there in a minute."

"Everything's cool, dude. I wouldn't take much longer than necessary though. Joe's chomping at the bit. He's not real crazy about photo shoots. See you in a few." He withdrew and closed the door softly behind him.

Tori pushed away from Sam, her cheeks burning, her hand automatically smoothing her hair, tamping down any wayward curls. She sucked air into her seriously depleted lungs.

Sam caught hold of her wrist and dragged her close again. He searched her eyes. "We still need to talk and settle a few things."

Tori put her hands on his chest as if to ward him off. "Let's focus on getting through the rest of this day first. We don't want to spoil it for Joe and Raenell."

Sam's expression grew more serious, more intense. "Then let's set aside our differences and spend the time together like we used to . . . as a couple."

Tori shook her head. ""Oh, Sam. I don't know about that."

"For Joe and Raenell. It'll be our special gift to them."

She hesitated. Would it be so terrible to pretend they were still together just for tonight? She searched Sam's face, looking for what, she didn't know. "Okay, we'll do it for Joe and Raenell."

And please God, help her . . . because she was desperately going to need it.

***

Sam hadn't counted on his duties as best man keeping him away from Tori during the first half of the reception. He had to help set up the bar, make sure the band had what they needed, make toasts and mingle with the guests.

It wasn't until they sat down to eat that he could finally be close to her. He couldn't get the kiss they'd shared earlier out of his mind. Although it was a relief to find her as responsive as always, it confused the hell out of him. How could she so lightly dismiss what they had together? How they felt about each other?

A molten anger warred with the heat of desire inside of him. Tori knew he was going through hell with his mom. She'd said she loved him, so why had she abandoned him in his time of need? With Tori by his side, he'd been better able to cope with his mom's illness. With Tori gone, he felt he had no one in the world to help him get through this difficult time.

He still loved her, damnit.
He still hungered for her. And that only added fuel to his anger.

He wanted her so badly he ached with it. Crazy thoughts jostled each other in his brain. Maybe if he wooed her back into bed, he could convince her to rethink her decision. Make her admit they belonged together. Make her realize she was his and his alone.

The band began tuning up and one of Raenell's aunts came by the table to remind the bridal party they were expected to dance the opening number. Sam turned to Tori. She sat there looking at him out of those baby blues with a mixture of longing and apprehension.

"It's only a dance, babe. What can it hurt?" It could hurt a lot, Sam thought. Yet he couldn't resist the opportunity to hold the woman he loved in his arms again.

Tori blinked. What could it hurt indeed? She let Sam escort her to the dance floor, where they waited while the bride danced with her father, and the groom danced with his mother.

Why couldn't her relationship with Sam be as simple and straightforward as Raenell and Joe's? The two of them had met, dated, fallen in love and now they were married and beginning their new life together.

When the couples on the floor changed partners, the entire bridal party joined in the dance. Tori couldn't help letting out a sigh of contentment. It was so good to feel Sam's arms around her once more. She loved him so much. She was being torn in two with doubt and the fear that she wouldn't be able to keep to her decision.

Did she have enough willpower to withstand being apart from Sam forever? Did she have the grit, the endurance, to stay the course? And would it really be worth it? She was so miserable. She felt only half-alive without Sam in her life. She knew she'd feel the same if she failed to go to vet school and get her degree. She was being torn in two with her heart and brain clashing in such tormented conflict.

Glancing up, Tori caught Sam's eyes in an all-consuming gaze. He tightened his hold on her as he led them gracefully over the dance floor. "Hey, babe."

His deep warm voice washed over her, making her heart flutter with a longing so intense she trembled in his arms. How she wished they could go back to the way things used to be.

Be strong, Tori
. "Hey, yourself," she said softly.

The pupils in his chocolate brown eyes dilated, and he clamped his big hand on the back of her neck, pulling her head close to his chest. His familiar touch shot tingles of awareness through her system. His heart beat strong and steady in her ear. Exhaling a deep breath, Tori gave herself up to the pleasure of dancing with Sam.

Joe and Raenell danced nearby, and Raenell caught Tori's eye, giving her a thumbs up. Tori smiled for her friend. Just for tonight, she would pretend she and Sam were still a happy couple and everything would work out between them. She swallowed painfully and tried not to cry.

Tomorrow would be soon enough to face reality. The reality of leaving Sam behind while she pushed on with her plans and her life.

***

Sam stood next to Tori as the crowd of wedding guests waved goodbye to Joe and Raenell. The happy couple was on their way to catch a plane to Hawaii where they would spend their honeymoon. The jangle of beer cans tied to the back bumper echoed against the pavement. The fading taillights of Joe's truck disappeared into the dark night.

The last of the guests filed back into the church hall to gather their belongings and head for home. The band had already packed up and left. The overhead lights had been switched on and clean-up duty had begun.

Sam caught Tori's elbow before she reached the door. "We still need to talk, babe. Let's stay out here where we can have a little privacy."

Tori crossed her arms over her chest and hugged herself tight. The temperature was in the high eighties, yet she felt chilled and apprehensive of being alone with Sam in the quiet night; afraid she'd lose her resolve and give into the temptation of getting back together with him. She'd tried to enjoy the reception and the pretense of being a loving couple again, but deep in the pit of her stomach, trepidation coiled like a rattlesnake. She didn't know what they'd accomplished with the charade. It had only made everything more difficult, more painful.

And was she a horrible human being, or what? All day long, she'd been almost sick with envy for what Raenell had found with Joe. Her best friend deserved her happiness, but it only emphasized what Tori had lost.

Sam grabbed one of her hands and pulled her to the side of the building. The area was shrouded in darkness; the full moon cast its shimmering light from above.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Tori said. In fact, it had catastrophe written all over it.

"
Don't think. Just feel.
" He pushed her against the wall and covered her mouth with his, plastering his big hard body against her. He ravaged her lips, her cheeks, the hollow of her neck, the sensitive skin behind her ear. Tori felt her nipples bead against the silky fabric of her bridesmaid's dress, as he kissed his way back to her mouth.

For one suspended moment, she gave in to the formidable man bent on wrenching a response from her, branding her, possessing her. She thrilled to the barely restrained passion of the man she loved. When Sam held her in his arms like this and kissed her like he was devouring her, she could easily forget the reasons why she'd ended their relationship. How simple it would be to toss all her plans to the wayside. He made her believe the only thing of importance was how he felt about her, and how she felt about him.

Luxuriating in the force of their mutual desire, Tori nearly surrendered to the overwhelming emotions. Only by sheer willpower, did she tear her mouth away from that soul-scorching kiss.

"
Stop!
We have to stop." With shaking hands, she tried to push out of the embrace but failed. Sucking oxygen into her lungs, she locked her knees into place so she wouldn't sink to the ground. She needed to keep a clear head.
Nothing had changed.