The Crush (14 page)

‘I knocked off more banks there before moving onto Canberra, Melbourne, Adelaide then Perth. You should have seen the money! There was just so much of it. I could've retired after the first few hits but I enjoyed the rush too much. I started to live the high life, big time. I had cars, motorbikes, rich clothes, jewellery, women … The only ones who were making as much money as me were the psychologists who were forever on TV trying to guess my next move. I always laughed at them and did the exact opposite of what they predicted.

‘Things started to go bad after about four months. A couple of constables in Perth nearly nicked me one night. Some lowlife had broken into a house five doors down from my villa. The pigs were door-knocking for witnesses. When I saw them walking up my driveway, I panicked. I burned out of there in my Ferrari. They weren't dumb. They figured it out and my secret life was over.

‘I was on the run again. This time my real face was on every front page and news bulletin. I had to dye my hair orange, grow sideburns and live out of my car for several weeks before all the heat cooled off.

‘Things were pretty depressing by then. I'd left most of my cash behind, not to mention my bikes and girlfriends. Feeling lost, I headed back home to Sydney. I was going to camp here for a month or so, buy a fake passport then catch a boat to Taipei or Bali. I'd just simply disappear.

‘Halfway across the Nullarbor, I started thinking about you and your mum. I always had feelings for you both but I'd tried hiding them. The last thing ya want when you're a bank robber is any emotional ties. But I realised that I was missing out on seeing ya grow up. You were my boy; the only good thing I'd done in my life. So I made a pact with myself to see you one last time before I went overseas.

‘Tracking you down was harder than I thought. A couple of my old mates told me where you were. Problem was, they told the cops where I was too. There was a big reward for my capture but I never thought they'd turn dog on me. I was so wrong.

‘The pigs caught me while I was walking by a post office in the city. A girl recognised me and phoned the police. A whole group of them jumped me. I put
up a great fight and knocked out five of them. I was a pretty good fighter. I'd always dreamed about being a boxer too.

‘One managed to get away and call for back-up. I stole his car and led half the Sydney pigsty on a road chase. There were helicopters and all. We went across the Sydney Harbour Bridge, through Manly, back through Parramatta then finally towards Campbelltown. It made good footage for the movie later on.

‘The cops played dirty, though. They rammed me off the road and threatened to shoot me if I didn't surrender. What choice did I have but to give in? They cuffed me and put me in court. I begged your mum to come and see me, but she never returned my letters.

‘After that, the judge sent me here. They took away my life, my freedom, my mask and my chance to see you. I've pretty much been forgotten by the world ever since. Newspapers wrote about other stories and things moved on. Except in here, of course. Nothing ever changes.

‘For the past fourteen years I've been living with the greatest mistake of my life—leaving behind my son. Every single day I've wanted to see you again. I've wanted to hear your voice or kick around a
football. They're such simple things but I sacrificed it all. For what? This place. Great, hey?'

‘You'll be out of here in a year, won't you?' Matt asked.

His dad nodded. ‘Yeah. And that's why I want ya to promise me one thing when they do release me.'

‘Definitely. What is it?'

‘Make me a better man.'

The stadium detonated with thunderous cheering as the Doggies' million-dollar rookie dove under the goalposts for a try. Blue and white flags, banners, scarves, stuffed toys, torn up programs and the club song filled the air as fifteen thousand spectators went crazy. Even the mascot and cheerleaders got into the act, shaking their tails in front of the coach's box. Among the celebrations, Newcastle fans shook their heads as the Bulldogs mounted a second-half resurgence. Down 12–nil after forty minutes, they had arm-wrestled back the lead. It was 14–12 with a kick to come and thirty minutes of play remaining.

The kicker stepped back, ran towards the ball then easily watched it sail over the black dot: 16–12.
Once again the stadium shook, as dozens of kids behind the goalposts chased after the errant ball.

The teams returned to their respective halves then waited for the ref's whistle to signal play-on. The Knights kicked the ball deep to the Bulldogs fullback before the big hits and smashing tackles started again.

After the up-and-down week he'd had, Matt relished the opportunity to catch a game. The Sundance Kid nudged him as he finished the last of his hot dog. ‘Hey, call a tow-truck company, would you? Somebody's ego will need a lift after the game.'

‘Hey?'

He followed Chris's gaze to a nearby stand. Dressed in blue and white jerseys, Blackwell and his mates were cursing and abusing the Newcastle fans closest to them.

‘Didn't they see the No Morons sign outside?'

Matt barely heard his mate. He was looking at Kelly sitting dutifully next to her boyfriend. Her long hair was pulled back through a cap, her tanned cheeks were striped with blue and white war paint, and both ends of her scarf cascaded down her round breasts and middle.

‘And you say I'm obsessed,' Chris snorted. ‘If you stare any longer, mate, I'll have to call an undertaker.'

‘Shut up.' Matt laughed and pushed the Sundance Kid away.

‘You're lost to us, aren't you? You've fallen completely in love with her.'

‘Wouldn't you?'

‘Mate, if I did, you wouldn't have a chance.'

They grinned then returned to watching the game as the Doggies hooker made a break only to be ankle-tapped by a Newcastle second-rower. The fans quieted again and Matt eyed Kelly. She was trying to placate Blackwell, who had hacked off the Knights fans. Bad move. They were returning the favour tenfold.

‘So what's the deal with her? Why does she keep going out with a loser like that?'

‘I wish I knew,' Matt answered.

‘Chicks are weird, aren't they? They always say they want guys who are sensitive, smart and funny but they still end up dating Neanderthals with too much hair gel. Meanwhile, the rest of us guys sit around going “Hello?”'

‘Tell me about it.'

‘My mum says she was the same with her first boyfriend. She says girls have to date jerks so they know what kind of guys to avoid next time.'

‘Yeah, but how long does it take them to learn that?'

Watching Kelly, Matt felt his heart accelerate. His feelings for her were growing stronger each day. He was excited and giddy when he was with her. He felt sad and fidgety when he wasn't. During the week, he'd visited her at work. They'd talked non-stop for an hour as she served doughnuts to customers. They would've talked more if the manager hadn't got stroppy and shooed him away.

The next day, Kelly rang him at his grandmother's and invited him over to her place for dinner. Both her parents were going to the movies and Blackwell was out with his mates. When he put the phone down, Matt almost ran all the way from Balmain.

It turned out to be the best night. They cooked tortellini in a creamy sauce with bacon, chicken, shallots and cracked pepper. Matt made a salad and garlic bread to go with it, not to mention a stack of chocolate pancakes for dessert. Afterwards, they put on a couple of CDs and sang and danced in her living room using remote controls as microphones. They were so wrapped up in their impromptu concert that they failed to hear the storm outside. Lightning struck nearby and blacked out the whole suburb. Before Kelly's parents returned, the two of them spent the rest of the night telling ghost stories.

A Newcastle fan lunged at Blackwell and the fight
was on. Shirts were grabbed before fists swung through the air. Friends jumped from everywhere and joined the melee. Guards rushed down the steps to stop the biff.

Kelly grabbed Aaron's arm and tried prying him from the fight. Annoyed, he shook her off before yelling at her and pushing her to the ground. She fell down hard on the concrete but got no sympathy. Blackwell kept swinging at the Newcastle fans.

Kelly didn't stick around. Hurt, she climbed up the steps as the guards set upon the louts. Matt rose to intercept her when a large woman blocked his way.

‘Mum? What are you doing here?'

‘Looking for you. We need to talk.'

‘Can't it wait?' he asked, looking around her. Move! Kelly was about to walk right past.

‘No, it can't.'

The chance to chase after Kelly was lost. He sagged back in his seat and watched her disappear into the masses. She was flicking her eyes dry with her left hand—definitely a bad sign. Angry, he snapped, ‘Okay, what?'

His mum looked at Chris.

The Sundance Kid pulled his cap down then rose to his feet. ‘I think I'll go and introduce myself to those cheerleaders.'

He left and Heather sat down next to her son. Matt crossed his arms and focused on the game. ‘You could've waited until I was home.'

‘And when will that be? I haven't seen you all week, Matthew. You're always over at that
woman's
place.'

‘I need my space, okay?'

‘Why?'

‘I just do.'

‘Don't give me the cold shoulder, mate. You're not the only one finding this tough.'

He snorted. As if.

‘And now you're calling yourself Matthew Ryan. Do you know how hurtful that is to me?'

He remained silent.

‘That man almost ruined my life, Matthew. I felt like … Hey, don't you dare turn your back on me. I've never done that to you, so don't start with me.'

The crowd jumped to its feet as the Doggies hooker made a bust through the middle. Fans screamed, urging him on.
Try!
Blue and white filled the air again.

In the middle of the crowd, Matt sat unmoved. He wished his mother would leave. She was spoiling a great game.

She must have read his mind. Sighing, she shook
her head then sat forward, ready to leave. ‘Okay, you win. If you want to sulk, then you're not dragging me down with you. I'm getting on with my life. But believe me when I say this. I admit what I did was wrong. I should've told you a long time ago about your father. It was stupid of me to think that I could keep him a secret from you all your life. I should've known you'd find out sooner or later.

‘But that was the worst time of my life. I had a baby to look after, bills I couldn't pay, your dad in court and reporters chasing me all the time. I didn't want you to be victimised for the rest of your life. I told you he was dead so you wouldn't suffer for his crimes. Imagine what would happen to your football career if someone found out about your father!

‘Can't you see, Matthew? I did it all for you. You've got to believe me. I've always been there for you, haven't I?'

‘Yeah, of course.'

‘And I don't want to lose you. That's what I'm scared of at the moment. I feel this is ruining us. You're making me out to be the villain when I'm not. And I'm worried about all these bruises on your face, like you've been in a fight. There's something you're not telling me and that's scaring me too.'

She breathed in and stared at the footy field. ‘I don't know how to deal with you, mate. The more we talk about this, the more bitter we become. I just want to know what you want from me?'

‘Let me see Dad.'

‘Why?'

‘Because whether you like it or not, he's a part of my life now. I can't just ignore him.'

‘I know but—'

‘Mum. Trust me. I can handle it. And don't worry about you and me. I'm not going to run away because I've suddenly found my father. You've got to give me time to sort out my life. It's all a major headspin at the moment.'

‘So what are you saying?'

‘You and I are cool. I'm still hurt but I've got to deal with that myself. Okay?'

‘Okay.'

‘And you've got to let me see Dad.'

‘No.'

‘Yes. It's non-negotiable.'

That distressed her but she tempered her feelings.

‘Do we have a deal?'

Reluctantly, she nodded.

The Bulldog army booed the referee as Matt ran up the steps into the stadium's central thoroughfare crammed with hundreds of fans milling about the food, merchandise and TAB stalls. There was still a chance he might find Kelly.

Chris came to the rescue. He said he'd seen her disappear into an upper tier. And that's where he found her. She was alone, watching the game but clearly distressed. Her eyes were rimmed with silvery redness and her face paint had started to run.

‘You've got to stand up to him, Kel.'

She almost cried with relief at the sight of him, and squeezed his hand when he sat next to her. ‘Don't let him get near me.'

‘I won't,' he said soothingly. He offered her a clean tissue, which she eagerly used to dry her eyes. ‘Don't worry about getting home. I'll catch a train back with you if you like.'

She nodded and smiled sadly. It triggered off feelings inside Matt, which he struggled to fight. He felt sorry for Kelly but was aroused at her touch and vulnerability.

‘I saw what he did to you. It made me mad.'

‘Don't be. It was nothing.'

‘Kelly, c'mon. He deliberately pushed you out of the way.'

‘Please. Don't get involved. I can deal with it.'

‘I hope you can. But every time I see you together, you're always upset.'

‘That's not true. We're fine.'

‘Are you? You keep on saying that like you're trying to convince yourself.'

‘It's true. Really.'

‘I know what he's like, Kelly. He only loves himself.'

‘No, he loves me too. He does. I just can't seem to please him at the moment. He's always angry with me.'

‘Why? You don't do anything wrong. If he really loved you, he'd be up here apologising to you.'

‘Would you?'

‘Yes! Of course,' he answered. Then realising his over-enthusiasm, he added a softer, ‘Without a doubt.'

Kelly fell quiet as the crowd jumped up again. The Doggies were about to score! 24–12. The Knights were beat.

‘Aaron and I'll be okay,' she said, withdrawing her hand. ‘I'll make sure of it.'

‘Kelly! What are you doing up here!' It as Blackwell. He was agitated and looking over his shoulder for guards. ‘And what's
he
doing here?'

‘Hey, I was just talking to her, okay?' Matt answered, rising from his seat along with Kelly.

‘You stay away from her, all right?'

‘Aaron, please,' Kelly said. ‘He's my friend.'

Blackwell snatched her away from Matt. ‘I'm your only friend, got it?'

That silenced her.

‘You don't own her,' Matt said.

‘You—shut up. I don't know what you're thinking, Cassidy or Ryan or whatever you're calling yourself these days, but she's my girlfriend. Keep away from her. If I see you with her again, I'll ruin you for good. Understand?'

The threat was real. It scared Matt enough that he backed off.

Clutching Kelly's elbow, Blackwell hauled her backwards down the steps towards the exit. ‘Oh,' the Princes Boys captain added, ‘don't get your hopes up any more about those talent scouts. It seems someone tipped them off about your drug problem.'