The Cutting Room (22 page)

to the stars. Fifteen minutes beyond Earth’s atmosphere he

was gripped by a creeping nausea. Within the hour, he lay

immobilised and vomiting. Unpleasant at any time, but at

zero gravity … Still our man was not to be defeated. Like that seasick mariner Nelson, he turned a blind eye to adversity and flew mission after mission vomiting all the way. Hundreds of his hermetically sealed sick bags still orbit the moon. I tried to summon the courage of that astronaut, rubbed my damp

palms against my trousers and followed Steenie.

The staircase was practically perpendicular. As I climbed,

gravity seemed to increase, pressing firm and insistent against the lid of my skull. With every step, the pressure grew. And it

seemed that the rungs beneath my feet began to take on an

elastic quality, shifting with my tread. As the ground moved further away, my body began to sway. It started with my head and shoulders. They listed gently, this way, then that. It was an elegant motion. The kind some sweet, old lady might make

on hearing a forgotten love song on the radio. Soon my chest was getting in on the act, and before I knew it my waist had joined the waltz. A milky film swam across my vision and I

felt that I might float. I held on to the ladder, shook my head and forced my’sight on the rung in front. That was what had

been wrong with the astronaut. He had no horizon to focus

on. There were no fixed objects, out there, hurtling through space - no, mustn’t think of that - I had a horizon. These

ladder rungs were as stable and as fixed as the coast of Fife. I held fast to the banister, eyes level with the bevelled heels of Steenie’s boots. The weaving sensation passed, the chimes in my head faded. The air below had been dank and sparse. Now

I could feel it lifting. I was going to make it. My tread got surer, my grip firmer. Was there nothing this boy couldn’t

do? I coughed as the fresher air hit my lungs. I’d roll a smoke when we got to the top.

The ladder ended in a trapdoor. Steenie pushed it open,

hauled himself up, then reached towards me. I was weary.

There was an ache at the back of my calves and I was glad to be done with the climb. I grasped his outstretched hand, but instead of the boost I anticipated he slipped my grip and hit a sharp jolt to my shoulder, pushing quick and sudden.

I felt the atmosphere rush by, my hair fanned out, stomach

leapt with the shock of the fall. I braced myself for impact, but it was all panic. My reflexes were faster than his. I caught my weight against the stair, holding the ladder with my left hand, catching Steenie’s wrist with my right, pulling him towar

me. There was terror in his rolling eyes. I tilted his balance until he gave a gasp, teetering on the final edge of gravity, then, brought his face to mine, feeling the warmth of his onion breath, and dashed my forehead against his nose, hearing the crunch as cartilage crumbled, taking a step upwards and

pushing him into an attic room.

`Jesus Christ, Steenie, Jesus fucking Christ.’ I was on a

loop, it had to stop. `Jesus, man.’ It wasn’t so easy - `Fuck me. Fuck man’ - but I could do it; I’d always prided myself on my vocabulary. `What the … fuck? What the … fuck?

What the fuck was that all about?’

If you know how to give one, a Glesgae kiss hurts the

recipient more than the giver, but it had been a while for me and my vision went red. Still, I was doing better than Steenie. He lay on his side, blood streaming from his nose. I went to pass him my hanky, then remembered he could have killed me

and gave him two swift kicks in the side instead. His body

convulsed with sobs. I paced the room, fighting the pain in my head, shaking it like a boxer, slapping my hand against my

forehead, attempting to shift the red, unable to take in what had just happened. Then I remembered something, returned

to the trembling body and rolled him over. Steenie whimpered.

I kicked him again, said `Shut the fuck up or you’ll get a

fucking doing,’ reached into his pocket and retrieved his keys.

We sat facing each other propped against opposite walls of

the attic. Steenie had removed his jumper and held it against his face, stanching the flow. His eyes shone. I’d broken his nose. Right now he was in agony, but soon that would deaden

to a dull ache. Too soon. I looked down at my suit. It was

covered in grime, the jacket decorated by a diagonal smear of blood from lapel to hem.

`Jesus fucking Christ. You fucking cunt.’

I issued another kick. He whimpered and edged beyond my

reach. I rolled two smokes and passed one to him.

We sat for a moment, smoking in silence. Somewhere, far

away, the wind moaned in the trees, but not a hint of it

entered the room where we two sat. Take deep breaths,

that’s what they say after a shock. It’s good advice. I inhaled the smoke all the way down, deep into my lungs, deeper. I

felt a little light-headed; my vision settled and I wished I had a drink.

`Anything4o drink up here?

Steenie shook his head, silent, the jumper fastened to his

face, expression hidden.

`Are you going to tell me what that was all about?

He sat unmoving.

`Fuck’s sake, Steenie. Jesus. I tell you, I could kill you right now and no court in the land would convict me.’

He spoke for the first time since the assault, in a voice made thick by tears and blood. `It would be your word against mine.’

`No. You don’t seem to understand. You would be a

broken thing at the bottom of the stair, you’d be saying

nothing.’

Steenie returned the jumper to his face, clutching it to

himself. He started to rock, gently, to and fro.

`Jesus.’ I stood up. `Fuck you,’ and started to pace. The

room was empty of furniture but strewn with papers. I bent

over and absently lifted a sheet from the dusty floor.

Christ Jesus when on earth saw the streets of Jerusalem

filled with decay. Male queers holding hands, kissing, &

swaying about publicly, some in the dress of women.

Also groups of shorn lesbians, dressed in men’s apparel,

openly fondling each other sexually.

What a filthy disgrace.

Young children & others were participating, or made to

watch these unnatural & sick

PERVERSIONS

Because of this queer disgrace, God was compelled by his

love for mankind, to instruct the righteous to drive the

homosexual from their cities, to kill & destroy them by

any means.

LESBIANS are females determined to hate & undermine

all male authority.

Given the opportunity, will urge decent women to

explore sex in their evil ways.

Lesbians seduce wives, daughters, infants & beasts for

their unnatural dog-like sex acts.

Lesbians are consumed with the lust of the flesh, but are

unable to love, they are without any feelings of guilt.

Other ungodly titles lesbian are known by:

Dyke, Bull dyke, Butch, Sapphic primates, Menstruating

cross dressers, Split muffins, Bitchy bitches, Hags S.F.,

Riot grrrls, Handsome homegirls, Homeric tomboys,

Hard & soft ballers, Rugby widows, Corporate nuns in

sensible shoes, Bike messengers from hell, Power femmes

with Tourette’s Syndrome, Carpet munchers, Backyard

bitches & their dogs, Balloon smugglers, Funpigs,

Menopause babes, Baby daddies, Pussy suckers, Cunt

lickers, Pubic hair spitters.

It is acceptable for the righteous to heap words of filth

upon the obscene lesbian & homosexual.

DESTROY their warped, obscene, filthy, VD infected,

drug dependent lifestyles.

Only DEATH will rid man of their plague.

I dropped the paper and turned towards Steenie. He gave me a small smile. I lifted the next page.

Homosexuals fellate almost 100% of their sexual contacts

& drink their semen. Semen contains every germ carried

in the blood stream, it is the same as drinking raw human

blood

VAMPIRES!

Sperm penetrates the anal wall & dilutes the blood

stream, making their urge for semen ever stronger.

50% of male syphilis is carried by homosexuals.

Around 67-80% of homosexuals lick &/or insert their

tongues into the anuses of other men rimming, anilingus,

faecal sex they eat faeces. This is called the prime taste

treat in sex. 33% of homosexuals admit to FISTING

inserting the hand, sometimes a whole arm, into the

rectum of another man Urinating on each other

.GOLDEN SHOWERS & torture has doubled among

homosexuals since the 1940s, & fisting has increased

astronomically.

17% of homosexuals eat &/or rub the faeces of other

men on themselves.

12% of homosexuals give/receive enemas.

The average homosexual has fellated between 20 & 106

men, swallowed 50 seminal discharges, had 72 penile

penetrations of the anus & eaten the faeces of 23 men

EVERY YEAR

Most homosexual sexual encounters occur while drunk,

high on drugs AT ORGIES.

Activities of homosexuals involve rimming (anilingus),

golden showers & fisting.

Homosexuals account for 3-4% of all gonorrhoea cases,

60% of all syphilis cases, & 17% of all hospital

admissions. They make up only 1-2% of the population.

25-33% of homosexuals are alcoholics.

I kicked through the pages. Hate leapt out in jagged words.

Steenie was lying on the floor, smiling like a victor.

I found myself whispering, `You’re mad.’

He looked weary. `No, not mad.’ His voice became heavy

and pedantic as it took on the cadence of a sermon. `Even as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities about them in like

manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the

vengeance of eternal fire. You should repent, Rilke. It is too late for you to enter the Kingdom of Heaven and sit at God’s right hand, but if you were to repent His wrath might be

tempered. Otherwise you will surely burn in eternal Hell.’

`Thanks for the tip.’

I was familiar with the unloving Presbyterian god of

Steenie’s faith. I had never lost a minute’s sleep over his

opinion, but then I’d never suspected one of his disciples

would come gunning for me. Caught at last in a faggot fatwa.

Steenie rambled on. `Vengeance is mine, sayeth the

Lord.’ The cruelty of the Old Testament complemented

the harsh West Coast accent we shared. `The Bible tells us,

if a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman,

both of them have committed an abomination!’ A-bombinashun!

`They shall surely be put to death; their blood shall

be upon them. They committed all these things, and

therefore I abhorred them. Fall on your knees and beg

for God’s mercy.’

`You said that you brought me up here because you had

something to show me about McKindless.’

Steenie gazed wordlessly at a point high on the wall.

I put all the menace I could muster into my voice. `Are you

aiming to join the ranks of the martyrs?’

He shook his head. `You talk like a papist, Rilke. John was

brought up, as I was, to fear God, but while I chose to follow the path of the righteous John allied himself with the forces of evil.’

`What do you mean?’

`He’s obsessed with Mammon and the sins of the flesh.’

`I hate,.to break it to you, but that goes for most of the

world. What do you know about McKindless?’

`He was a sinner.’

`Steenie, tell me you didn’t …?’

`The Lord came for him. He rots at the bottom of the fiery

lake.’

`Thank Christ for that. You recognised the netsuke last

night. What did it mean to you?,

‘I saw it at his house. He was a pervert, a filthy degenerate.

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the

kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor

idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of

themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor

drunkards, nor revellers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.’

`Plenty of room, then. Other than that, what did you have

against him?’

`Did you see his library?’

`Aye, I did. A fine collection.’

`That’s what you would say. It was a disgrace, an offence to God.’

`Stick to the point.’

I moved towards him and he cringed.

`John helped McKindless acquire much of that library. I

was against it. I handle only righteous books. John is a sinner.

Only once did I deliver a book to him. It was expensive, and greed overcame me. I, too, am a sinner. But not as big a one as John. McKindless came to the door playing with that

ornament.’

`The netsuke??

‘Yes, rolling it around in his hands as if it was the most

natural thing in the world. He unwrapped the book in front of me. Opened the pages, flicking through the filth as if there was no shame in it. He examined every illustration, checked

every plate, while I stood there.’

That’s it? You sold him a book once?’

`John sold it to him. I delivered it, against my principles. I, too, am a sinner in the eyes of the Lord, but I am a repentant sinner, I get down on my knees and beg for mercy.’