The Cutting Room Floor (26 page)

And I’ve hurt Riley.

I stomp out to the parking lot, open the car door, smash the flowers I got for Rye, and head home in silence.

She’s gone.

This is
my
chemical burn.

There’s only one way to salvage the mess I made, so I pick up the phone and make the call.

RILEY

Stella drives me home while I sit in shock. It’s too much to process. I can actually feel my heart splitting wide open. The one person I loved and trusted the most has hurt me in the worst way.

Just breathe.

It’s all I can do at the moment. Focus on the smallest of things. I’m suddenly so exhausted, I just want to sleep. To lose myself in my dreams. The pain is too much to take.

We pull up my driveway.

Stella puts her hand on my thigh but I can’t feel it. It’s like I’m not even in my own body.

“Do you want me to come in and sit with you for a while?” she asks in her soft voice.

I shake my head. “You’ve done so much already.” I’m so thankful to her for getting me out of there. “I’m just going to go to sleep. It’s been a shitty night.”

She pats my leg. “Okay. But you can call me. Anytime.”

I feel the tears prick my eyes, so I rush out of the car and give Stella a quick wave.

She jumps out after me.

“Oh, Rye,” she calls out. “I got Will’s records for you. Everyone was distracted, so I took the chance. I know this isn’t a great time, but I thought you’d want them right away.”

I turn around, take the paper, and shove it in my jacket.

DEZ

You would think that I would’ve tried harder to fight for my innocence and hold on to my lies when things went down that day. But when Riley looked into my eyes and demanded the truth, I guess I just couldn’t fight against it anymore.

Looking back, I can see how messed up I was, but I wasn’t so far gone that I didn’t at least try to fix it. That was my first priority, I remember that much. My second? Coming clean to my parents. I’d screwed things up to such massive proportions that I couldn’t undo it all on my own.

That night,
the
night, I sat them down and told them the whole story. Mom and Bernie sat and listened without moving, without saying a word. They just … listened.

They listened to my stories about ruining things with Riley’s girlfriends and boyfriends and how I used Bernie to do it. They listened to my plan to get Riley to mess up during her Guthrie audition.

When I finished, Bernie stood up to talk. But, in a surprise move, Mom raised her hand as if to say
I got this.
That’s when she finally grew a pair and went all military on my ass. She laid out her own plan—and punishment—and there was no room for argument.

Those demands included: family therapy, a string of apologies, meetings with my guidance counselor, and a two-month grounding.

When she was done giving my sentence, she put her arms around me and said in my ear, “You need to make this right, Desmond.”

RILEY

In the following weeks, I do my best to avoid Dez.

And Will.

Just as I thought it would, the report says Will was absent for three days after Ms. Dunn’s murder.

He was gone the same amount of time after the film festival. And now he only shows up to school a few times a week. Not that
I’ve
seen him. If I still trusted Dez, I would have him help me talk to Bernie about reopening Ms. Dunn’s case.

I even consider putting in an anonymous tip to the cops. But there’s no way I can do that without getting Libby into trouble.

No, the only person I trust right now is Stella.

Every morning, she checks to see if Will showed up to class and then she texts me. I don’t know which is worse, the days he shows up or the days he’s gone.

I keep my sanity with homework, acting classes, and time at Java. When that isn’t enough, I busy myself with internship applications for the summer and read every screenplay I can get my hands on.

As far as I can tell, Dez doesn’t leave his house except for school. About a week after everything happened, he wrote me a letter. He tried to explain what he did and why. He begged for my forgiveness.

And I couldn’t give it to him.

It didn’t help that Libby wanted to have his balls for breakfast. Over time, she gathered the rest of the nasty details about how Dez had been sabotaging my relationships since sophomore year. Like a good friend, she forgave me for not believing her. And I forgave her, because that girl knows not what she does. Still, I can’t let her in on my suspicions about Will.

As for the film, we won first place. Dez got a boatload of scholarship money. The rest of us made out pretty well too. I’ve used some of my award money to take classes at the Guthrie Theater. Dez and I made nice for the cause; we went through all the social events—the awards committee luncheon, the local newspaper interview, and the photo ops—as a happy team. It should’ve been the time of our lives. It wasn’t.

After all, the one person I trusted more than anyone had somehow become my worst enemy.

But life goes on.

And it’s going on without him.

The weeks roll by, like they do, and before I know it the holidays are upon us. And now
I’m
the one riddled with guilt. Especially for Mom and Dad. We had to cancel our annual Christmas brunch with Bernie, Trudy, and Dez. My parents understand that I don’t want to see Dez and they’re siding with me, keeping a distance. But I know it’s hurting them.

It’s like my whole family is going through the break-up. We’re all moving a bit slower than normal, our dinners have been quiet, and even the house seems down in the dumps.

“
You
are our priority,” Dad says to me during dinner when I apologize again for Christmas brunch. “You need to do what’s best for you, Riley. I’m still so mad at that boy. I just wish I could fix it. I wish I could take the pain away.”

But we both know it’s too late for that.

Too late for a lot of things.

Until I get a call from the Admissions office at Guthrie.

DEZ

We decide to have the last film club meeting on the day before the holiday break. The seniors are busy with college interviews and internships and they just want to be done with it. And the sophomores and juniors are anxiously waiting for the changing of the guard.

It’s the end of an era.

By four o’clock, it’s almost dark. The sky is purple as the snow comes down in heavy, wet flakes.

I’m still on the outs with the cast and crew, but it’s my job to announce the director for next year’s film. The seniors huddle in the front of the room and fill out their ballots. Riley won’t even look at me. I’ve heard through the grapevine that she was accepted to Guthrie, early admission, and she’s decided to go. But I checked online, and her audition spot is still open at Tisch. I hold out hope that she’ll decide to go through with that audition. Then at least she’ll have choices.

Stella collects all the ballots in a hat and passes it to me.

“Think she’ll talk to me?” I ask her.

“I don’t think she’s there yet, Dez,” Stella says. I can tell she’s trying to be kind, but she seems genuinely freaked out by me.

Who could blame her.

“I never meant to hurt her,” I say, but whether I’m trying to convince Stella or myself, I’m not sure.

“She knows that. Deep down, she knows.”

“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?”

“I do,” she says unconvincingly. “But not before you announce next year’s director, so I think you better just count these ballots.”

I take all the sheets of paper and unfold them. It’s easy to tally the results. It’s unanimous: Caleb will take my place next year.

Our time is over. I guess that’s as it should be.

I make the announcement and the groups split up. The sophomores and juniors make plans and the seniors pack away all the equipment.

“Okay, guys, the first rule of film club is that we don’t talk about film club,” Caleb says to his new team.

That was my line.

We finish packing up and before I know it, we’re done. I lose my nerve and don’t try to talk to Rye. She’s with Stella now, so I have no chance. The new film club has already left to celebrate, and the last of the seniors just walked out the door.

I go look at the edit suite one more time.

I wish I could edit my life and leave all the bad stuff in here. The lies to Riley, messing up her audition, getting involved with Tori. All of it.

But I can’t.

In the parking lot, the lights make all the white fluff sparkle. If Rye and I were walking together, we would’ve already had a snowball fight. We’d be laughing and yelling. Instead, the parking lot is eerie with silence.

I shuffle through the snow and that’s when I see it.

That’s when I know.

It’s the shoes.

That
was the clue I was looking for.

The footprints in front of me have an odd pattern—crisscrossing lines, like someone took a razorblade to them. I’ve seen this before.

In Bernie’s crime scene photos. The footprints left in blood after Ms. Dunn’s murder.

My ears grow warm and the back of my neck is itchy, and I know Rye was right all along. The killer has been here the entire time. At our school.

But who was it?

Who was out here tonight?

I go through a mental list of everyone I saw at school tonight—it’s not a large group. It has to be someone we know, someone we know well. I speed up to a run and jump in my car.

I have to tell Riley.

RILEY

I’m thankful to be done—completely done—with the film club. I walk with Stella out to the parking lot. We’re almost to her car when I hear it, the revving engine. To our left, there’s a big black truck heading right for us.

“Watch out!” I scream, pushing Stella out of the way.

The truck whips past us into a spinning circle on the slippery snow. Will hangs out of his window and laughs.

“Merry Christmas, mother fuckers,” he screams.

I freeze right there. I can’t move. I haven’t seen Will since the day of the festival. I’d hoped that he’d decided to let things be, but he’s probably just been too busy filling holiday drug orders to bother me.

Marcus is walking to his car, but he stops to wave at Will. He laughs and shakes his head.

Yes, he would think Will’s stunt was funny.

“Don’t worry, Riley.” Stella grabs my hand and leads me to her car. “He’s not going to do anything with people around.”

She’s right.

Stella gives me a ride home and we make plans to see each other over break. I couldn’t be happier to have the time off.

I walk up the driveway and notice Bernie’s police cruiser parked next door. It’s times like this when I’m thankful to live next to a cop.

I go into the dark house and flip on the lights. There’s an open bottle of wine and two wine glasses sitting on the counter. Mom and Dad must’ve gotten some good news.

The note on the table confirms it. Dad gets to add another class next semester, so they went out to celebrate. Finally, something to be happy about.

I’m exhausted, so I grab a blanket and curl up on the couch. I try to sleep but my head is pounding. When I can’t take it anymore, I walk into the kitchen for some Advil.

The door is wide open, flapping in the breeze.

Looks like I forgot to shut the door.

I close it and reach for the Advil in the cabinet above the fridge.

Before I can grab it, a sharp, debilitating pain shoots through my head and down my neck, and then everything goes black.

DEZ

My fingertips are raw and my nails are bitten down to the quick. I’ve been chewing them since I found the footprints. I have to tell Riley that Ms. Dunn’s killer is still here. Rye was right.

She was right about a lot of things.

I take a deep breath as I head over to her house—I know she doesn’t want to see me, but I have to find a way to make her listen.

One foot in front of the other, Dez.

I make it around to the back and see shadows float across the windows. Looks like I might have an audience for this. I swing around to the door. It’s wide open. Without thinking, I walk in.

Inside, it’s quiet … too quiet.

Something’s not right here, and I suddenly feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. I take slow steps toward the living room. “Riley?” I call out. “Are you there? Rye?”

My words are cut off by a python that’s wrapped itself around my neck.