The Cutting Room Floor (29 page)
Read The Cutting Room Floor Online
Authors: Dawn Klehr
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Mysteries & Detective Stories, #teen, #teen lit, #teen fiction, #YA, #YA fiction, #Young Adult, #Young Adult Fiction, #Romance, #Lgbt
She’s not coming.
I should’ve known. I guess this is how the story is supposed to end. Still, I don’t want to leave without her. I don’t want this to be it.
I feel like Rocky Balboa. I’m beat and battered and all I want is my girl …
“Adrian!” Rocky screams over and over at the end of the film. “Adrian!”
Adrian pushes through the crowd, trying to get to Rocky, and when she does, they lock in an embrace.
I am Rocky, and in my mind I
scream, “Riley! Riley! Riley!”
People rush all around me, trying to get home, trying to leave. It’s a buzz of farewells and welcome backs.
But I never get my embrace, because Riley never shows.
RILEY
Stella and I sit in her car in the parking lot at Fort Snelling, where we can see the parade of planes coming and going. I try to predict which one Dez is on.
“Are you sure you made the right decision?” she asks. “There’s still time. You could still go to the Tisch audition and then make up your mind later. A backup, just in case.”
“That’s what this is.” I rest my head on her shoulder. “Coming out here to say goodbye to Dez was my backup plan. I needed to make sure I was doing the right thing. I wanted to give myself the option of a harried airport scene, if I wanted it.”
“And do you?” Stella asks.
I shake my head. “Not in the slightest.”
“And what about Dez?” She lowers her voice. “Any second thoughts there?”
“Hmmm,” I say, feeling the squeeze in my chest. “Yeah, tons of second thoughts. Like … did I drive him to the craziness? Could I have prevented it? Was it my fault?”
“No, no, and no.” Stella’s face is tight; she’s clenching her teeth.
“Yeah, I know you’re right. But it’s hard. He was my friend for so long, and to have it end like this … ”
“It doesn’t have to be the end, Rye. Not if you don’t want it to be.”
“It does.” I take an extra gulp of air to keep the tears from falling. “I could never trust him again, and I don’t want to live that way. Not anymore.”
“I get it. But maybe in time?”
“Maybe.”
“Well.” Stella scoots over and puts her hands on my shoulders. “There’s plenty of time for maybes, but let’s just enjoy right now. You’re going to the U of M, Riley. Your Guthrie dream is coming true.”
It’s strange to think of it as
my
dream. It had always been
ours
. Dez and I each had half—it was only together that we made a whole. I ache for him; a phantom pain of a former life. It hurts, sometimes more than I can bear. Then at other times, I’m relieved that old me—that old us—is gone.
A plane soars above now and as we watch it go overhead, I say a silent goodbye to Dez.
Stella stays close. She is one of those people who never has to be in control. She’s content to just be.
She leans in and gives me the softest of kisses on my cheek.
My face stings from her lips.
It’s a good sting.
The best.
FINAL SCENE
It’s time. The final scene. One of the most important things in a film. A great ending can make a movie. Look at
Pulp Fiction
, or
Silence of the Lambs
, or—and I can’t believe I’m going to say this—
Say Anything
.
I was so hoping this story would have a Hollywood ending—all sappy and sweet, wrapped in a nice big red bow.
Just the way Riley likes ’em
But it wasn’t meant to be. I guess I jumped the shark after all.
I still think about Riley every day. Sometimes I catch myself ready to call her after I see an awesome film or learn something cool in class. Then I remember that I don’t even have her number anymore.
How’s that for a happy ending?
There are so many great last lines in the movies. So many we could use here.
I could take Scarlett O’Hara’s last line in
Gone with the Wind:
“I’ll go home, and I’ll think of some way to get him back! After all, tomorrow is another day!” A few word changes and it would be perfect for the end of our story.
Or we could end with a meeting between me and Riley and steal from another classic,
Casablanca
, where Bogart says, “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” Yeah, what I wouldn’t do to be friends with Rye again.
But more apropos would be a dark ending. Something like the ending in
Sunset Boulevard:
“You see, this is my life. It always will be! There’s nothing else. Just us, and the cameras, and those wonderful people out there in the dark. All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.”
Forget it.
Here’s the real shit: I no longer care about modeling my life after a film. For so long, I wished I could edit out all the bad stuff that happened. But I’m not so sure anymore. That time in my life was a big part of me—of who I was and what I was.
And Rye? Well, she’ll never be gone. Not completely. After all, she’s my childhood, my history, my home.
Yeah, my life is no movie. Who are we kidding? But just for grins, this would be my closing scene: A college freshman in an edit suite at Columbia going over the footage for a documentary.
The film I’m working on has taken on a life of its own,
without
me directing it. A piece about … love.
Sort of a tribute to Riley.
I shuttle through interviews of people talking about love. Gay love. Straight love. Romantic love. Platonic love. You get the idea.
And as you listen to the people talk, it’s clear.
Love is simple and complicated and easy and hard. People do great and terrible things all in the name of it. Love, to use a cliché, makes the world go round.
But mostly, love is honest. It has to be.
And that, my friends, is a wrap.
Cue the music … roll the credits.
Maris Ehlers Photography
About the Author
Dawn Klehr began her career in TV, and though she’s been on both sides of the camera, she prefers to be behind the lens. Mostly she loves to get lost in stories—in film, in the theater, or on the page—and she’s a sucker for both the sinister and the sappy. She’s currently channeling her dark side as she works on her next book.
Dawn lives in the Twin Cities with her funny husband, adorable son, and naughty dog.
The Cutting Room Floor
is her debut YA novel. Visit her online at DawnKlehr.blogspot.com.
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