The Da-Da-De-Da-Da Code (28 page)

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Poetic licence. Beetles and steeples, you’re allowed that sort of thing.

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It is to be suspected that Mr Giggles is using the dreaded racist ‘N’ word. But this of course is
not
the case. Because I, for one, have no wish to do what is now called a ‘Jade Goody’ (allegedly).

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No? It must just be me, then.

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Oh come on! It’s not just me, surely?

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Cheeky little anagram involved here, if you can be bothered to work it out.

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They do indeed. But sadly the gift shop is a bit disappointing.

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Not to be confused with the Vulcan Death Grip.

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If you would like to read all the details, type
Illustrations of Madness
by John Haslam (1810) into you search-engine jobbie.

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This month’s copy of
Munters in the Mall
being amongst them.

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Taking With Out Consent. As if you didn’t know!

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Why does that happen so often?

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As a running gag, you have probably peaked too early there. (Ed.)

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Hm! (Ed.)

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And I’m not lying. Type his name into your computer and order a copy.

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Opinions naturally vary on this.

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And it is!

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And he’s right, check it out.

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On the rare chance that the reader might be experiencing some confusion as to who O’Fagin presently believes Jonny to be: let’s just go with, Charlie Hawtrey’s “other” brother and hope that it works out.

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Brentford Nylons. Finest nylon in the world.

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You don’t see too many Paddy Wagons about nowadays. The Ealing Constabulary are the last to actually employ them. But then they do have a tradition to uphold. The entrance to Ealing Police Station was used as the exterior of Dock Green in the TV series.

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And it has!

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It’s always best to be precise about these matters, in order to avoid any confusion.

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It
was
only the empty glasses that shattered. In case you were wondering. You weren’t? Fair enough.

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That’s enough now. (Ed.)

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Very possibly Whoa-Black-Betty-Bam-a-Lam.

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Don’t even think about it! (Ed.)

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With a lead running from the previously mentioned hand-made pickup. In case there were any doubts.

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However, for those lucky few who receive one of the limited-edition giveaway CDs that accompany hardback editions of this book, a recording is to be found, sung by the author. One for eBay, that, eh?

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Very probably the same Apocalypse predicted from the Kleenex reading.

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Obviously not the same squirrel each time.

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Alas Spike Milligan, sadly missed.

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Finally!!!

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And as one who does not wish for one’s books to go the way of Jade’s perfume
Ssssh!
, in my personal opinion it
never
happened!

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According to Anne Robinson. Allegedly.

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Elvisploitation?

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Exactly why it was that Jonny hadn’t showed up on the advanced SatNav was anyone’s guess. Perhaps Count Otto’s gang showed up because there was more of them. Yes, that was probably it. (Phew!)