The Dark Side of the Rainbow (36 page)

Landon ached to touch Olivia, to comfort and to draw comfort from her, but he kept his distance. He needed to know how she felt about him, about them, in light of her remembrance.

“Do you recall the first night I had dinner at the Grand Vue?”

Landon nodded his head.

“You had walked into the restaurant with a beautiful woman on your arm. She was the type who was so comfortable in her own skin and didn’t mind showing some of it. I thought she was your girlfriend. Part of my plan was to seduce you. I remembered thinking that if this was the type of woman you liked, I was in way over my head.

“I wouldn’t admit it then, but it was hard to see you with someone else. The summer before Jacob’s death, I had begun to feel things for you, too. That night at the resort I dreamt of you. We were walking along the Pearl District. In my dream you told me how you had not made the best choices in your life and how I made you want to be a better person. You asked me if I knew why that was important. When I didn’t know, you told me it was because you were falling in love with me.

“You kissed me and when I opened my eyes I was no longer staring at the seventeen-year-old Landon Gray that I had come to know that summer, but I was staring at the broken adult version of Landon Gray with whom I had been reunited in Patagonia. I was so furious, I slapped you right before I woke up from the dream.

“Do you see, Landon? Even before our trip onboard
The Absolution
I was already beginning to realize how wrong I was, but I didn’t want to admit it. I had worked my whole life toward this one fixed mark on the horizon, and I hadn’t strayed from it.

“I know now why I was angry the night of my accident, why I had pushed away from the railing and ran. I was falling in love with you. I wanted you to kiss me while we dined in my room. Later, on the deck, when you told me why you had named your ship
The Absolution,
I was angry because I knew I could not go through with my plot of revenge. Without my vengeance to anchor me I was reeling and wanted to flee.”

Pushing herself up on her knees, she knelt before Landon. “I’m sorry I was so awful to you last night. When I remembered, the feelings were vivid and fresh, the agony of my memories made it impossible to filter all that I was experiencing against what I knew to be true about you, and about Jacob’s death.

“When we said our vows of forgiveness, it was possible for my mind to be at peace, but now that I remember with my heart, all of me longs to give you the absolution you desire – as you forgave me.”

Landon knew the forgiveness she offered was more precious because of the knowing.

Touching the compass that his wife always wore, he looked at her and said, “Thank you, Olivia. I doubted for too long that I would ever have this moment. It has been as elusive as chasing the wind. Now that I hold total absolution in the palm of my hands, I’ve come to discover that the beauty is not in the chasing and acquiring, but in pulling up the sails and simply receiving. Thank you for forgiving me, and for loving me so completely.”

P
ORTLAND, OREGON

FIVE YEARS LATER

“That’s right, Reagan. This is where Mommy and your Uncle Jacob used to play.” Olivia glanced at Landon, who sat on the cushion next to hers, holding Madeline. They each had their arms wrapped around one of their twin three-year-old daughters.

While his wife had been pregnant, Landon hoped they would have hair as red and as curly as their mother’s. Reagan was the first to be born. Landon had been overjoyed to see her beautiful red hair the moment she was placed onto Olivia’s breast. Ten minutes later, to their amazed delight, Madeline was born with strawberry blonde hair the same color as her Uncle Jacob’s.

Landon’s heart had twisted in great knots of love when he saw the stunned look on his wife’s face. “Is it possible?” she had said, grappling with the fact that the hair coloring of her two daughters was identical to hers and Jacob’s.

Overwhelmed by the joy of seeing their precious children for the first time and from missing Jacob, they held each other and cried. It had been an unexpected blessing.

Landon’s heart felt heavy as he remembered Olivia looking up toward the ceiling of the labor and delivery room, mouthing the words,
Thank you
.

The tree house of his wife’s childhood stood strong in the backyard of the home she had loved as a young girl. They visited Portland often, but this was the first time they had taken the girls inside the lofty retreat.

“Mommy and Uncle Jacob used to look out this window,” Olivia pointed to a small pane of Plexiglas overlooking the main house. “We could see our dad, Grandpa Josh, in the kitchen and would pretend he was a fire-breathing dragon. The trees on the other side of the house were giants who roamed the land. We had sticks . . .”

“I want to play princess,” Madeline exclaimed in her sweet three-year-old voice, uninterested in dragons and giants.

Landon laughed and kissed his daughter until she giggled. Reagan jumped up from Olivia’s lap and leaped toward her father, wanting to join in on the fun. “You’re my favorite daughters in the whole world; do you know that?”

Regan pinched his dimpled cheek and said with a giggle, “We’re your only daughters, Daddy.”

Soon the girls were content to sit side by side and look at one of the picture books they had brought with them into the treehouse.

Landon was leaning against the other side of the cedar structure holding Olivia’s back to his chest, his arms wrapped loosely around her waist.

“They are too adorable!” his wife exclaimed, her hands caressing the soft hair of his forearm.

Unable to resist nuzzling her neck, he said, “Thanks to their mother, who is the most adorable creature I have ever met. The first time I ever thought of you in such a way was when we went fly fishing and I saw you in those waders. I was so crazy for you. Helping you learn how to cast had me thinking about tango dancers. I wanted to devour you on the spot.”

“I wish you . . .”

Placing his hand over her mouth, he could feel her lips pulling into a smile.

“Temptress,” he said lovingly.

When he removed his hand, she turned to him. “We’re married. I can tempt you all I want.” Looking over her shoulders at her daughters, who remained engrossed in their book, she turned back to Landon and whispered into his ear all the ways she wanted to tempt him.

“Vixen,” he said before kissing her soundly on the lips.

“Eeww!” They heard Regan squealing.

“Daddy and Mommy, will you
please
stop your smooching!” ordered Madeline.

Landon pulled away from his wife. “Did you teach them that?”

Giving her husband a mock look of consternation, she replied, “Why, I would never!”

“Nicholas,” the couple said in unison, before falling into a fit of laughter.

Acknowledgments (Last page)

As a lifelong reader of fiction, I found myself creating my own stories at a very young age, but only in my mind. I had no desire to put words on paper until one hot Sunday afternoon in July of 2012. That day I began penning my first novel. What started as purely a whim unlocked a passion for writing that I never knew existed. 

With this newfound joy for writing, a dream was born: to see my stories in print. Thank you, Father, for opening this door; and thank you, Booktrope, for seeing the potential in my story. I am so appreciative. 

None of this would be possible without the Booktrope team: Heather Huffman, Project Manager; Karen Huffman, Book Manager; Mary Ward Menke, Editor; Mary Scro, Proofreader; and Greg Simanson, Cover Designer. I can’t thank you all enough for your part in making my dream come true. It has been a privilege!

Finally, a heartfelt thank you to all of my family and friends who have encouraged me along this incredible journey. Joel and Sean, I am moved by your infinite patience with me, and all the things you’ve had to sacrifice these last three years so that I could write. Joel, you didn’t let me give up! My beta readers, Rebecca Johnson, Lori Verlautz, Barbara Brooks, and Rosemary Melvin—all four of you chose
The Dark Side of the Rainbow
as the book to pursue. Thank you for your unanimous vote; it made my choice an easy one!

If I were to sum up what being a writer means to me, it is this:

When I replicate the world around me with words, interweaving the real and the imagined, I feel as if my tiny space in this grand scheme of life has been well-tended.