The Darker Side of Pleasure (26 page)

CHAPTER TEN

T
HIS WAS THE THIRD MORNING IN A ROW
Cassandra had woken up in his bed, in his arms.
Marcus.
Their days and nights together had been blissful, intense. And in between all of the wicked things he’d done to her, they’d talked for endless hours. They’d lain in each other’s arms. She had first seen him only two weeks ago, yet nothing had ever felt more right to her.

She looked at him, at his closed eyes, noticed the tiny lines at the corners. Reaching out, she touched her finger there, lightly traced the planes of his face.

“Marcus…”

“What is it?” His voice was soft, sleepy.

“What happens now? What does this mean? What are we to each other?”

His eyes fluttered opened, the deep brown lit with gold. “Much of that depends on you. The bottom always has the most power, isn’t that what they say? It’s true. But I want to be with you. It’s crazy, but something about you…” He stroked her hair, tangled his fingers in the curls. “If you decide it’s too complicated, I will be crushed. Devastated.”

“So would I.” She couldn’t imagine being without him.

“I know this is all happening fast.”

“It is. And I’ve been lying here thinking that I have to stop and question whether the circumstances are adding to the intensity.”

“Relationships in the realm of BDSM are always intense. But that doesn’t mean it’s not real.”

“It feels real.”

“Yes.” He picked up her hand, brushed a kiss across her knuckles, making her shiver. “We’ve been avoiding this conversation. But I think it’s time we talked it all out.”

She nodded. He was right. Her pulse stepped up a beat.

“You have to tell me, Cassandra, if you are willing to give up my uncle’s training to be with me. Because frankly, I can’t stand the idea of anyone else’s hands on you. But I am a trainer myself. I can fill that role, in between these moments when we are simply together. But you have to decide what you want.”

“I want to be with you—even if it means breaking the rules. You must know that by now. But what will he do to you?”

“I could be cast out from the community—”

“No!”

“Yes. And my uncle could disown me, but I’m willing to take that chance. I’m even willing to hurt him, if that’s the only way I can have you.”

“But I can’t put you in that position, to make that kind of choice!”

“Don’t you understand that I have no choice? I need you, whatever the cost. You are well worth it.”

“No one has ever thought so before.” Tears stung her eyes.

“Then it’s about time someone did.” He kissed her hand again, turning it over to press his soft lips to the tender flesh of her palm. He said quietly, “I know it’s crazy, but I am falling in love with you, Cassandra. And that’s never happened before. That’s worth everything to me.”

The tears fell over her cheeks, onto his hand that still held hers. “I thought it was only me.”

“It’s
us
.” He caught her gaze, looked into her eyes. “I want to be with you, to love you, to hurt you, to tame you. I want you to be mine.”

“I am yours, Marcus.”

He kissed her then, tenderly, lovingly. When he pulled away he said, “We need to tell my uncle. I’ll talk to him.”

“No, I need to go with you.”

He nodded. “I understand. Tonight, then.”

Mika, dressed in her collar and her tattoos, silently let them in and led them to Master Robert’s office. She left them at the door. Cassandra tried to stop her hands from shaking. So odd, walking through this house fully dressed. She was grateful for Marcus’s reassuring hand pressed to the small of her back.

Master Robert sat behind his enormous desk. Imposing, both him and the desk. Marcus had called and told his uncle he had to speak with him right away, but the older man’s brows shot up when they came into the room together.

Marcus guided her to one of the chairs in front of the desk, then sat in the other. Robert leaned forward in his chair, steepling his hands.

“Good evening, Uncle.”

“Is it? Why don’t you tell me why you are here together. Although I think I can guess.”

“We came here to ask you to release her.”

“She has no contract with me.” But his voice was deep, stern. He was plainly angry.

“Not as such, but we both know there is an implied contract even now.”

“Hmmm, yes.” Robert leaned back. “When did this happen?”

He was looking right at her, making her shiver. She still wanted to please him, even now; she felt a sense of failure that ultimately, she hadn’t.

Marcus answered, “From the first moment we saw each other.”

“I knew you wanted her. I’ve never seen you react in such a way to any woman. I should have seen this.” Robert paused, his dark gray brows furrowed. “Do you understand how serious this is?”

“Of course, Uncle.”

She could see the pain in Marcus’s face as he spoke. Was Robert really going to disown him? He was Marcus’s family, all he had left, from what he’d told her. How could she do this to him? Her heart fluttered frantically in her chest.

“Marcus, there can be no actions in this life that do not carry consequences.”

“I understand that.”

“Is she worth it?”

Oh, God. This was too awful. She stood.

“No. No, I’m not.”

She ran from the room.

He caught up to her at his car, parked in the driveway of his uncle’s house. She didn’t even know where she’d been going. He grabbed her arm.

“Cassandra!”

She turned to him, wiped the tears from her face with one hand. “I can’t do this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t let this happen to you. I can’t let you make these sacrifices. Not for me. I’m not worth it. I’m not.”

“You are worth everything to me!”

She shook her head, blinded by tears. “How do I know? How do I trust that? We haven’t even known each other two weeks. And if this is some fleeting thing, is that worth losing your uncle over? Being shunned by your community?”

He paused, drew in a deep breath, blew it out. “I love you, Cassandra. I know you were raised to believe you don’t deserve it, but that’s bullshit. I’m here and I love you, and you’re going to have to deal with it.”

He grasped her arms, held on tight, whispered again harshly, “I love you.”

A sob rose in her chest, choking her. She could almost believe him. Maybe, with time, she would know the truth of his words in her own mind, in her soul.

Robert’s voice came from the doorway. “Love, is it?”

Marcus turned to him. “You know I would never do this to you for anything less.”

They both waited, watching Robert’s stern features. Marcus’s grip on her arm tightened, and her heart went out to him.

“Cassandra.” Robert’s voice was still harsh, cold. She shivered.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Do you love my nephew?”

“Yes!” Tears blinded her momentarily. More threatened when Marcus wiped them away with a tender hand.

There was a long pause. “Then you are already his in the only way that counts. In the truest way. I could never give that to him. Take her, Marcus. Treasure her. You hold a gift beyond imagining.”

She felt Marcus relax beside her, his muscles loosening.

Robert stood up a little straighter, gestured to Marcus with a raised chin. “And when you two have come up for air, come back to my house. You will both be welcome here.”

“Thank you, Uncle.”

She looked up to see Marcus smile, read the relief on his face. She knew he’d been ready to make this sacrifice for her. She was grateful he wouldn’t have to.

Robert turned and went back into the house, closing the door. Marcus turned to her. Even in the pale moonlight, she could see his eyes blazing with pure emotion. With love. God, she loved him, as impossible as it seemed. And if that was possible, to fall in love with someone so quickly, so deeply, then maybe anything was possible.

The tears were spilling over onto her cheeks, blurring her vision. She wasn’t perfect. Yet he loved her, anyway. Her head spun with the realization that she could have this life, she could submit to him, and it was something beautiful and almost sacred, because he loved her. There was nothing sinful about it, except in the most delicious way. And despite the confusion in her head, the struggle, her heart knew she really had no choice but to be with him. She needed him more than she needed to continue punishing herself.

He pulled her close, held her in arms rough with passion. And when he kissed her, the rest of the world faded away. Her years of guilt, of shame, all of it was dissolving beneath the force of his love, of her love for him. Nothing else mattered.

Marcus pulled his mouth away and whispered into her hair, “There’s so much I want to show you. The sensual pleasures you came here for, and so much more. We’ll make these discoveries together.”

Yes, it was time to stop seeing everything as punishment for her imperfections, to allow herself to enjoy her dark side without needing it to be sinful. Marcus would help her. Together they would figure it out, would learn how to love each other in the midst of these sinful pleasures they both so craved and adored.

Since discovering this shadowed and voluptuous world, she had found joy in fulfilling the needs of her body. And now, unexpectedly, she had found what she needed to fill her heart.

CHAPTER ONE