The Darkness Beyond (25 page)

The gesture meant more than he knew. “Maybe all that's true, but there's no guarantee he'll want to have anything to do with me after all this. None of this would've happened if I hadn't started poking my nose around in his business.”

Once again Trahern smiled down at her, humor twinkling in his eyes. “You're not going to believe me, but you should. Poking that pretty little nose of yours in D.J.'s business is probably the best thing that ever happened to him.”

It was obvious she wasn't going to convince the man he was wrong. When the helicopter landed, he was the only one smiling.

I
n and out. In and out. The sound of air rasping through the bellows in D.J.'s chest was the first sign he was on the long trip back to the living. Underneath the whisper of his lungs was the soft backbeat of his heart, slow at first but then picking up speed, running ragged for a while until it finally settled back into a rhythm.

Cold, bone-chilling cold. Gradually, his blood remembered the pathways throughout his body and brought warmth flooding back to his extremities. Not to mention pain. Lots of it. Dead men don't hurt. Men coming back to life do.

God, he hated this whole fucking process. It never got any easier; if anything, it got worse. They said it beat the alternative. Sometimes he wasn't so sure.

Hearing was always the last sense to disappear and the first to come back. The soft rumble of voices slowly translated themselves into individual words. Eventually, he'd remember who was talking and understand what was being said.

One word stood out: Reggie.

His whole body jerked and twisted to the tune of rattling chains. No amount of jerking would free him from his restraints, but he fought them anyway.

“D.J., settle down. You'll rip out your stitches.”

Laurel's voice, calm as always. She wasn't the one he needed to hear. Not this time. He erupted in another burst of rebellion.

A pair of heavy hands came down on his upper arms, pinning him down. “Damn it, D.J., cut this shit out. You're bleeding all over the place.”

Trahern. Wrong again. With his arms in lockdown, he kicked his feet and tried to force words out of his mouth. No, not words. Just one.

“Reggie!”

Success. He whispered her name again. “Reggie.”

Having had his say, he settled back down and waited for answers. Evidently deciding D.J. was going to behave himself, Trahern removed his hands and stepped away. Someone took his place. Someone who smelled like flowers.

Reggie.

“D.J.” She spoke in that hushed voice people used in churches and hospital rooms. “I'm right here.”

His lungs' fledgling attempts to breathe deeply drew in just enough of her scent to tease his senses. Her soft hand cupped his cheek, her fingers trembling.

“This. Scared. You.” Stringing words together was a bitch right now.

“Not at all,” she whispered as she brushed his hair back off his forehead.

He could hear the fear in her voice. “Liar.”

Reggie choked a bit. “Yeah, well, I'll get over it.”

Laurel entered the conversation again. “D.J., you know the drill. Everything is looking good right now, but you need to sleep, and so does she.”

It was early in the recovery process, but maybe he could pry his eyes open. A quick glimpse of Reggie. All he needed. Only one eye cooperated. It was enough. She was crying. Damn it. He hated that, hated himself for wanting Reggie to be there even knowing what it was costing her. The sooner she left, the sooner she'd forget.

“Go, Reggie,” he croaked.

She nodded. “Okay, but I'll be back.”

Not what he meant. “
No!
Go away. Home if you can.”

God, he needed her to leave. Now. Because he didn't know if he'd ever find the guts to let her go again.

“But, D.J., I want to be here.”

When her hand caressed his bare shoulder, he wanted to purr. Instead, he screamed, rattling his chains with every ounce of strength he could muster.

“It hurts, damn it.
Go!
”

Laurel interceded. “Blake, get her out of here before this idiot destroys all my hard work.”

His Handler sounded frustrated or maybe it was disgust he heard in her voice. He heard the shuffle of feet and the deep rumble of Trahern's voice. When D.J. could no longer hear them, he gave up, surrendering to the bleakness that was his life.

Laurel came closer, her cool hands checking his vitals with her usual efficiency. “D. J. Clayborne, I never thought you'd be such a coward.”

So it had been disgust. That was okay. He disgusted himself.

“Sorry.”

“It's not me you should apologize to. The question is whether you'll get the chance to apologize to Reggie. After that display, it would serve you right if she actually did what you told her to. Luckily, I'm betting she's got more gumption than that.”

Laurel gave his hand a quick squeeze. “By the way, if you need lessons in groveling, I'll have Devlin give you a few pointers.”

Rather than respond, he slept.

Reggie peeked into Laurel's lab through the small pane of glass in the door. D.J. was sitting up, looking a heck of a lot better than he had three days ago. She'd spent the time since he'd kicked her out resting up and trying to piece her life back together.

She'd sent an e-mail to Mr. DeLuca explaining that although she was feeling better, she'd been called out of town on an emergency. After apologizing for being out of touch for so long, she'd offered her resignation if he wanted it. She hoped he did.

As a final gesture of goodwill, she told him that she'd had it on good authority that the Knightwalker had died. Maybe he wouldn't believe her, but she was confident he wouldn't find any further trace of the iconic hacker.

According to Cody, they'd already managed to track down the bastards who had started all of this. So if she wanted to go home, she could. Cody was planning on heading back to Portland later that afternoon. He'd made special arrangements to make up the finals he'd missed, but then he was going to move up here to work for the Regents while he finished school at their expense. Turns out he shared the same DNA as the Paladins.

Who would've seen that one coming?

His future was set. He'd found a place where he belonged. She was truly glad for her friend, if more than a bit jealous. Her own future was definitely up in the air, but she had some thoughts on the subject. It would all depend on how the next few days played out.

“Are you ready?”

She glanced up at Trahern. “If you're sure my plan will work.”

The Paladin stared through the window, his expression a bit haunted. “God, I hate this place. It helps knowing Brenna is always waiting for me. But I've got to tell you, Reggie, if you're not up for the long haul, for both your sakes, go back to Portland.”

She'd been up most of the night debating that exact subject. After pacing the floor and making lists of pros and cons, she'd come to the only decision she could live with.

“All of this is killing him. D.J.'s computers might let him connect with the rest of the world, but they're still cold comfort. He needs me.”

She stepped back from the door. “And I need him.”

Trahern looked down at her. “D.J. might be stubborn, but he's not stupid. Like I said, you'll be good for him. Tell him that. Better yet, show him.”

She grinned. “Don't worry. I will.”

“We'd better get moving. Laurel plans to discharge him in half an hour so he can catch his flight to Missouri. I tried to talk him out of going, but you know D.J.”

“Yeah, I do.”

Trahern held the door for her as they walked out of the building. “Devlin promised to have him back in a couple of days. I'll let you know when I have specifics.”

“Good. I'll be back from Portland in plenty of time.”

“This is a good thing you're doing, Reggie.”

She hoped so. She really did.

Todd swore this godforsaken cell got smaller every day. Other than when his captors brought him food three times a day, he'd been alone the whole time.

The bastards had yet to tell him if that Paladin and Reggie Morrison had made it back from Kalithia in one piece. Since he was still breathing, he had to guess they had. Bully for them. They were free. He wasn't.

Eventually they were going to have to let him go if they wanted the money back that he'd hidden away. Kincade wasn't going to lead them to it if he hadn't by now, which made him wonder where that guy was and what their long-term plans were for him.

He could hear footsteps approaching out in the hallway. That wasn't unusual, but he couldn't see who it was because this nine-by-nine room had no windows. He paused to listen. Whoever was out there had stopped right outside his door.

“Who's there?” he demanded.

No answer.

It wasn't mealtime, so whoever it was had other reasons for being there. His stomach lurched, a common occurrence since fear had become his constant companion.

He backed away from the door until he was flat up against the opposing wall, wedged between his cot and the bare toilet. Finally, he could hear a key being fitted into the lock and the knob turned.

When the door opened, it revealed a man who was a total stranger to him. If he had to guess, the guy was a Paladin because he had that same obnoxious arrogance that was second nature to both Jarvis and Devlin.

He also had a smile that made Todd's balls shrink up tight. Who was he? Then he knew.

“D. J. Clayborne, I presume.”

The smile widened. “Right on the first guess, Todd.”

D.J. sauntered into the small room as if he owned the fucking place. He studied Todd's stark surroundings with a sneer. “Quite a demotion from your usual lifestyle, don't you think?”

“Cut to the chase, Clayborne. What do you want?”

“I want you to rot in hell, but then you'd give the place a bad name. Personally, I think it would be more fitting to shove you across the barrier like you did Reggie Morrison. I'm sure some of your late, but unlamented, associates have family or friends who'd like to talk to you.”

Dear God, no! They'd kill him.
Todd's voice cracked when he tried to set the record straight. “She made it back alive.”

“She did. I didn't.” D.J. smiled again. “I've got to tell you, Toddy, you have no idea how much I hate being killed. It tends to piss me off.”

Then he stepped closer, his hands flexing. “Sorry to have kept you waiting, but at least I'm here now.”

Then using those lightning-fast Paladin reflexes, D.J. had Todd in a chokehold. “So here's the deal, you scum-sucking bastard. When Jarvis and Chaz Willis ask you a question, you will answer. It's that simple. If I hear that you've been uncooperative, I'll be back, and then we'll make that little trip to Kalithia. Of course, yours will be one way.”

Todd couldn't breathe enough to speak, but it was due to absolute terror rather than D.J.'s powerful grip. He managed to nod, feeling like a bobble-headed doll as he tried to convince this cold-eyed killer that he would be telling the truth.

D.J. let go, shoving Todd backward hard enough to bounce him off the wall. “Fine, but just so we understand each other, I'll spell it out one more time. You tell them what they want to know or you die. Are we clear?”

“Yes,” Todd whispered, rubbing his throat to ease the pain.

“I knew you'd be smart about it.”

As D.J. backed up a couple of steps, Todd breathed a sigh of relief. He'd been terrified of this moment for days, but it looked like he was going to escape with a bruised neck. He'd always known that he'd have to give them all the information he had if he wanted to walk out of here in one piece.

“So we're good.”

“Well, no,” D.J. said, shaking his head. “There's one more thing.”

Before Todd could ask what it was, D.J. cut loose with a punch that shoved Todd's belt buckle straight through to his spine. Then he followed it up with one more to Todd's nose. Todd hit the wall and slumped to the ground with blood dripping off his chin.

D.J. stood over him. “The first one's from me. The second's from Reggie.”

Then he grabbed the threadbare towel off the sink and tossed it to Todd. “If they ever let you out of here and you want to live, stay away from me and stay away from her.”

Once again Todd nodded. Evidently satisfied that he'd made his point, D.J. walked out and locked the door behind him.

“T
hanks, man. I appreciate the ride.”

Lonzo pulled over in front of D.J.'s place. “Glad to do it.”

Before D.J. got out he had one question he needed to ask his friend. “Lonzo, I did the right thing, didn't I? Sending her away, I mean.”

“Personally, I think it was damn noble of you. Stupid as hell, but noble.”

Then Lonzo punched him on the arm. “However, if there was ever such a thing as a do-over, I suggest you reconsider your decision. We all like Reggie. A lot. In fact, if you didn't already have dibs . . . but you clearly do.”

Not exactly the answer D.J. had been hoping for. Then he noticed Lonzo had left the engine running. “Aren't you coming in?”

“No can do. Wish I could stay to tuck you in, but Trahern needs me back at headquarters. You gonna be okay on your own?”

“Yeah, I'll be fine.”

“Don't forget that Laurel ordered you to take the next week off. She said if you show up, she'll get Sasha to dock your pay double for every hour you're there.”

“I remember.”

Although how was he supposed to spend a full week with nothing to do and no one to do it with? Physically, he was back to normal. That didn't mean he was ready to be alone. Yeah, he'd told Reggie to go home to Portland, but it still pissed him off that she'd actually gone. He wasn't being reasonable, but right now he didn't give a flying fuck about reasonable.

“Call if you need anything.”

He climbed out of the cab of Lonzo's truck, moving more slowly than he really needed to. “I said I'll be fine.”

Eventually. Maybe.

As he approached his front door, he could hear music playing. Strange. Usually his neighbors were gone during the day. Even when they were home, their taste in music ran toward the classical end of the spectrum. He was pretty sure what he was hearing was straight out of Nashville.

Huh, it was coming from his place. Had he left the radio on? He didn't think so. He turned the key in the lock and shoved the door open. For sure he hadn't left the lights on. What the hell was going on?

Two steps inside the door, he stopped. What was that smell? Roses? He'd noticed that same exact scent just recently. Reggie.

A new surge of energy poured through his veins. He wasn't sure if it was anger or hope. After he'd mustered up the gumption to order Reggie to leave him alone, she had done exactly that. He hadn't seen her again and assumed she'd gone back to Portland. What if she hadn't? His equipment bag hit the ground with a thud. He lifted one foot and moved it forward, then the next, managing to keep going until he reached his living room.

It was empty. Had she come and gone? He tried the kitchen next, hoping his heart wouldn't burst in his chest before he found her. There was something that smelled of oregano and tomato sauce in the oven, but still no sign of Reggie.

That left his office . . . and the bedroom. Okay, that thought sent him bolting down the hall. His bed was made with the blankets turned back. It looked neat, tidy even. Welcoming and with a predictable effect on the fit of his jeans. He backed out of the room and headed for the only place that was left.

The door was closed but he could hear the rapid click of a keyboard in the hands of a master. He should've guessed Reggie would be playing with his equipment. Okay, that wasn't the smartest analogy he could've come up with.

Why was she here? Only one way to find out.

She'd heard him come in. It was all she could do not to go charging out to meet him, throwing herself into D.J.'s arms. But if she was going to tread on the minefield of getting past his defenses, she needed to move cautiously and let him come to her.

Just as the door opened, she finished the e-mail she'd been composing and hit the Send button before looking in his direction. When she finally did, she couldn't say a word. All the earlier images kept getting in the way: D.J. fighting for his life before going down under the combined assault of the last two Others. Berk's men wrapping D.J.'s dead body in a blanket. Flying back to Seattle with his body bag at her feet. The horrific process of life returning to where there had been only death a few seconds before.

It was hard to believe he was really standing there, so handsome, so alive. He didn't look particularly happy to see her, but she'd come too far to run away now.

“Hope you don't mind that I let myself in.”

He finally stepped into the room. She jumped to her feet. He towered over her enough when she was standing. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared down at her.

“I told you to go home.”

She offered him a smile, but it wasn't exactly a happy one. “I did. I just didn't stay there.”

“Why are you here?”

“Where else should I be?”

“Damn it, Reggie, I'm in no mood for games. Why are you here?”

Time to throw down the gauntlet. “Because I felt like a coward standing on that hillside with Javel and Berk while you were down there fighting.”

He started pacing, snagging one of his tension balls off the desk and working it hard. “I'm a trained warrior, Reggie. You aren't. If I'd let you get killed, you would've stayed that way.”

She picked up one of the other toys and tossed it from one hand to the other. “That's not why I felt like a coward. And since you brought it up, why didn't you tell me about your Paladin abilities?”

He did an about-face to look away from her. “I didn't want you to know the truth of what I was. Even if we didn't have a future together, I didn't want you to think you'd slept with some kind of freakish monster.”

He spoke in a perfect monotone, but that didn't disguise the pain in each word he said. If she could get her hands on whoever had labeled him a monster in the past, she'd kick their collective asses off the Space Needle.

“You're not a freak or a monster.”

His laugh was ugly. “Try convincing my mother of that.”

“Tell me about her.”

At first, she didn't think he was going to, but then he started speaking, slowly, but then the words picked up speed as he continued. “My father died when I was still a baby. Evidently he never told her what he really did for a living or what he was. Anyway, she turned to religion in a big way. Most of my memories of my early childhood were centered around the church, and that was okay, at least at first.”

He wandered over to stare out the window. “But when she noticed that I healed almost overnight, she started freaking out. That was bad enough, but then I fell off the garage pretending to be a superhero and broke both legs and an arm. As you can probably guess, the hospital staff didn't quite know what to make of a kid who was busted up one day and bouncing on the bed the next.”

“Did the church think it was a miracle?”

Reggie would have, but it was clear that wasn't how it had played out. It hurt to see D.J. looking so alone. She eased closer, slipping her hands around his waist and laying her face against his back.

He sighed and finally answered. “No, they thought I was possessed. When the prayers and the beatings didn't work, my mother couldn't live with the shame . . . or with me. At least she abandoned me outside a hospital. Guess I should be grateful for that much.”

Reggie wanted to punch somebody. She kept her touch gentle, but let her fury boil over in her words. “Damn it, D.J., she doesn't deserve your gratitude for anything. How could she do that to her own son?”

He shrugged. “As near as I can tell, she was a kid herself and running scared. I did okay without her, especially when one of the local Paladins tracked me down after I fell playing a game of pickup basketball in college and broke my leg again. With the dawn of the computer age, the Regents started scanning hospital reports for stories like mine.”

“You found somewhere to belong. With the Paladins.”

He finally turned back around. “I owe them everything. When I showed a talent for computers, they paid off my student loans and bought me the best equipment on the market. We're family—or were. Guess I'll find out for sure when I go back to work next week. I, uh, broke a few rules.”

God, because of her, he'd lied to his friends. Not only that, she'd bested him at the one thing he'd excelled in. With the job his mother did on him, he probably thought that his sword arm and ability to outhack the vast majority of the computer geniuses in the world were his sole talents.

How could she fix this?

“This is my fault, D.J. Surely Devlin will see that when I talk to him.”

D.J. held her out at arm's length. “No way are you dealing with him. You're going home to pick up the pieces of your life.”

He was still trying to protect her, the sweet fool. Time to set the record straight. “Nope, sorry, that's not happening. I'm here and I'm staying.”

Anger flashed hot in his dark eyes. “Damn it, Reggie, no. You've seen my life. I spend most of my time wading in blood and watching my friends die over and over again. Sometimes they don't make it back at all. Someday I won't. I won't ask you to share that life with me.”

Okay, time to play hardball. “I told you I felt like a coward, but you're wrong about why. I thought I'd missed the chance to tell you how I felt about you. You might not want me, but I'm not walking out that door without telling you.”

She had his attention now. “I love you, D. J. Clayborne. I love everything about you. You and those friends of yours suffer in silence to keep people like me safe. That's such a powerful gift, and we don't even get to thank you for it. You keep your lives secret so the rest of us don't have to deal with the ugliness that's part of every day you pick up your sword.”

D.J. stared at her in shock, shaking his head as if he was having trouble deciphering her words. Finally, he stumbled across to his computer chair and dropped into it. She followed him, climbing up in his lap.

“What I don't understand is how you can be so brave when it comes to facing off with those Kalith crazies, but scared when it comes to trusting me. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not your mother.”

That earned her a small smile. “Believe me, I noticed.”

She tossed the toy aside to cradle his face in both hands. “Then don't punish me for her crimes. I'm not going to run away, and I'm not going to leave, not unless you force the issue. We both know that it would be stupid to walk away from what we've shared, and you're not a stupid man. Or are you?”

Her heart lodged firmly in her throat while she waited for him to answer. It took forever—at least ten seconds.

He swallowed hard and whispered, “No, I'm not stupid.”

Her heart stuttered when he turned his face to nuzzle the palm of her hand. “I didn't think so, which leads me to the next step.”

“Which is?”

“Well, you don't want to ask me to share your life. I get that. So that leaves me with only one thing I can do.”

“Which is?” he repeated.

“I can ask you to share my life instead. There are downsides. I spend hours on the computer when I have a puzzle to solve. I collect all kinds of toys to play with while I'm hot on the trail of some handsome, world-class hacker. Also, I've been told I'm a bit stubborn, and I have a temper. Think you can live with that?”

His smile spread slowly, but lit up his whole face. “Yeah, I think I can live with that. Besides, Lonzo told me that if I ever got a chance at a do-over, I should make a smarter decision.”

“I like your friends.”

“Good, because you'll be seeing a lot of them.”

“Not right now though. I want some serious alone time with you—no Paladins, no Kaliths, no friends. At least not for a day or two.”

“Not a problem. Laurel and Sasha ganged up on me and ordered me to take a week off. And suddenly, I have a few ideas about how to fill that time.”

He muscled them both up out of the chair and carried her down the hall toward his bedroom. He tossed her into the middle of his king-size bed and followed her down.

There was a lot of hunger in his smile. “What do you say we start here and maybe end up in a Las Vegas wedding chapel? How does being Mrs. Darnell Jacob Clayborne sound?”

She considered the matter. “I like Mrs. D.J. better, but I'll take you any way I can.”

His dark eyes turned serious. “Call me whatever you want as long as you love me.”

She tugged him down for a long, hot kiss. When she pulled back, she cupped his handsome face and smiled.

“Then I'm just going to call you mine.”