The Dashwood Sisters Tell All (20 page)

“This isn't funny.” Mimi's face darkened. “I don't know what game you’re playing—”

“No game,” Mrs. Parrot said.

I studied her face for a long moment, compared its lines and angles with the fading memory of my mother. The similarities were there, however much I might not want them to be, hidden by age and that profusion of orange hair. But what if this “confession” was simply a ruse to get us to turn over the diaries?

“What was my mother's full name?” I asked her, although anyone with an Internet connection could probably have come up with that information, plus a great deal more.

“Her name was Caroline Anne Dudley. She was born December 16. On Jane Austen's birthday, no less. Her right front tooth had a tiny chip in it. She fell when she was six while we were racing to the village green.”

“That doesn't prove anything,” Mimi snapped. “Anyone could know those things.”

“She had an unusual birthmark on her back,” Mrs. Parrot offered. “Almost heart-shaped.”

My mouth went dry, and I reached for Mimi's hand. It couldn't be true. It wasn't possible.

“How do we know you didn't just know her from childhood? Any of her friends might have known about the birthmark.”

“What can I say that would prove the relationship?” Mrs. Parrot asked. “What could convince you?”

“You could never convince me,” Mimi said. “Short of a DNA test, that is.”

“That could be arranged.” Mrs. Parrot appeared unruffled by the demand.

“You’re seriously saying that you’re our aunt.” I couldn't quite wrap my mind around it, and yet it had the ring of truth. So far on this trip, my instincts had been right about the woman, whether I’d wanted them to be or not.

“Why didn't you say something before?” Mimi's cheeks were flushed with anger. “Very convenient, waiting until now, when it suits your purposes.”

Mrs. Parrot assumed an innocent expression. “What purpose could this revelation serve? You have the diaries. I have no reason to lie.” She paused, and her shoulders sagged. It was the first sign of weakness in the woman that I’d witnessed all week. She quickly pulled herself together though. “Family can be all too short in supply. I felt that I should tell you. If you choose to make anything of the connection, well…that, of course, will be up to you.”

I looked at Mimi, and she looked at me, both of us confused. Mrs. Parrot, our aunt? Really?

“Well, I-I,” I stammered. “I don't really know what to say.”

“You needn't say anything now.” Mrs. Parrot tried to appear calm and confident, but I could see from the lines around her mouth that she wasn't as blasé about the whole thing as she appeared.

I reached out and laid a hand on her arm. She almost pulled away, but then stopped herself. “Give us some time,” I said as gently as I could. “We’ve had a lot to take in this past week.”

Her other hand covered mine where it rested on her arm. “I understand, my dear. It's just…disappointing that you’ll both be returning to the States. Time, I’m afraid, is the one thing we don't have.”

At the beginning of the week, I would never have thought that I would regret saying good-bye to Mrs. Parrot. Something about her had bothered me from the beginning. As it had turned out, of course, there were a number of reasons why that should have been the case. I was almost beyond being surprised by her revelations anymore. Or anyone else's revelations, for that matter. Secret upon secret. Mine, Mimi's, Daniel's, Mrs. Parrot's. Not to mention Jane and Cassandra Austen's.

“Mrs. Parrot,” I said. “There's something I want to show you.” I looked at Mimi, and she nodded, understanding instinctively what I was about to do.

I opened my tote bag and pulled out Jane Austen's diary. “Here.” I handed it to Mrs. Parrot.

“I was right. They were a matched set.” She opened the cover, and I watched her read the inscription on the flyleaf.

“Wait a minute.” Mimi reached for the diary, and Mrs. Parrot surrendered it readily. “There's something I want to check.” Mimi leafed her way through the pages. “It would be in late November or early December of 1802. Ah, here it is.”

“Read it,” Mrs. Parrot and I said at the same time, and Mimi did.

We fled Manydown like thieves in the night. Cassandra would not speak to me, but Alethea and Elizabeth were most kind. They must know I meant no insult to their brother, only that my own heart is insufficient to the task of releasing Jack Smith. My brother James was quite alarmed to see us so soon returned to Steventon, and I have informed him that Cassandra and I must return to Bath at once. It will be a most tedious journey, since I have sworn never to speak to her again…

But that will not last. She meant well enough, as she always does. If only I could be as practical as she, but I am too much a creature of fancy. I cannot marry without love, and neither could Cassie, if it came to it, though she would like to think herself more sensible. She begs my forgiveness, and I extend it, for whatever she has done, ’twas done out of love.

When we return to Bath, I shall begin to revise Elinor and Marianne. I see now that I have got the sisters all wrong. I will have to disguise my characters, of course, make them far more established in their particulars, but Cassie will know. As will I.

Mimi stopped reading. “So she did base the characters in the book on her and Cassandra.”

Mrs. Parrot smiled. “It's been speculated, of course, but never confirmed. This is a major discovery, indeed.”

I looked at the diary in Mimi's hands, and I knew one thing for certain. I didn't want the responsibility of it. I was also pretty sure, after everything that had happened, that Mimi wouldn't be interested in selling it.

I took the diary from her and handed it to Mrs. Parrot. “I think you’d better have this.”

Mimi didn't protest. “I’ve had enough of diaries to last me a good long while.”

Mrs. Parrot looked at Mimi and then back at me. “You’re certain?”

“Absolutely.” I mocked wiping my forehead with the back of my hand. “It's a relief to get rid of it.”

I did wonder what other treasures of knowledge Jane's diary might hold, but I knew I wasn't the person who should unlock them. I was more than happy to leave that to Mrs. Parrot and the Formidables.

Mimi laughed. “Call it a ‘welcome to the family’ present.”

Just then, Daniel came around the back of the van. “What's so funny?” he asked.

I reached over and took his arm. “It's a long story. I’ll tell you on our way to the station.” I glanced at my watch. “Come on, or we’re going to miss the train.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

T
om drove us all to the station at Basingstoke, where we would get a train back to London. I sat beside Daniel in the back of the van. We’d connected on such a deep level, but we hadn't talked about what might happen next. Once we arrived in London, I wondered if we would go our separate ways. All week I’d thought that was what I wanted, but Mimi's lecture in the garden at the Hotel du Vin the night before had helped me to see my life and my choices in a new light. I’d been so busy trying to find perfection that I’d almost missed happiness. In the end, it was an easy trade-off to make. If Daniel would still let me.

He was looking out the window on the other side of the van. I cleared my throat.

“It's been quite a week, hasn't it?” I cringed. Surely I could have found something better than a cliché like that to begin with.

He turned to look at me, and I couldn't tell whether the strange light in his eyes was welcoming or forbidding.

“What have you decided?” he asked. So much for dilly-dallying with clichés.

“I’m not sure how much I get to decide.”

He laughed, but he also took my hand. “Ell, the ball's in your court. What happens next is up to you.”

“I guess I don't have much experience with calling the shots.” The truth of that statement sank in, filtering down through years of being the good daughter, working hard, doing the caretaking. “You’ll have to be patient with me. I’m going to make a lot of mistakes.”

He threaded his fingers through mine. “As long as we make them together, I think we’ll do okay.” He raised our hands and kissed my fingers. “I know this probably isn't the happy ending you’ve dreamed of all your life. It's not like an Austen novel.”

“Actually,” I said. “It is.” One day soon, I would ask for more details about his life with Melissa, and I would meet his daughters. But for now, I had learned that I needed to write my own story, thanks to Cassandra and Jane. They had made the best out of the circumstances life had dictated to them, and I could do a lot worse than to follow in their footsteps.

“I want you to meet my girls,” Daniel said, echoing my thoughts.

Tears stung my eyes. “I want that too.” One door was closing in my life, but another was opening. It was up to me to walk through it. This time, though, I knew I’d have Daniel at my side. I would also have my sister.

Ellen was in the back, talking to Daniel, and I sat beside Tom in the front seat, a bundle of nerves. He shot me a measuring look. “Having second thoughts?”

I shook my head. “Just dreading telling Ellen that I won't be flying home with her.”

He reached over and patted my knee. “She’ll understand.” He glanced in the rearview mirror. “Besides, I think her focus may be on other things very shortly.”

I resisted the urge to turn around and see what he meant, but I could guess. Ellen had taken my advice.

Basingstoke bustled with traffic and had more roundabouts than anyplace on earth. We finally made it to the station, and Tom parked the van just outside the entrance.

“I’ll get the luggage,” he said to the others, and I knew the time had come. I walked over to Ellen and linked my arm through hers.

“I need to talk to you.”

She looked at me, surprised. “What's wrong?”

There was nothing else to do but just say it. “I’m not going back to London with you. I’m staying here.”

“What do you mean you’re staying here? As in England ‘staying here?’” Her arm went rigid.

I nodded. I’d known she wouldn't like it, and there was no way I was going to convince her I wasn't being ridiculously impulsive. The only saving grace was that she did like Tom.

“What about New York?” she asked with a glance toward the van, where Tom was wrangling the luggage. “How can you change your mind about something like that? You’ve wanted that your whole life.”

“Um, Ell, not to be a smart aleck, but that's a little bit like the pot asking the kettle why it's black.” I shot a glance at Daniel, who was standing nearby, waiting for us.

Her mouth fell open. “That's different.”

“How?”

“Because it just is, that's all.”

“A well-formulated argument.” I smiled. I couldn't help myself. “I think we’ve both come to see that it's time to let go of old dreams. Time to come up with some new ones.”

“But it's so far away.”

That was her real objection, I knew, and it was my biggest regret. Finally, after all these years, we’d managed to establish a bond as sisters, and now we were going to be farther apart than ever, geographically speaking.

“We can Skype,” I said.

“I don't even know what that is.”

“Video chat. Over the Internet. Besides”—I put my arm around her—“won't you be moving away from Dallas to be with Daniel?”

She looked surprised. “Well, I guess so…”

“Aw, c’mon, Ell. Didn't it occur to you that you and Daniel would have to live in the same city? And I don't see him giving up a well-established business.”

“There will be an ocean between us.” She looked so forlorn, and I felt the same way.

“An ocean, we can transcend. Not speaking to each other, that's the really big divide we’ve overcome.”

She started to cry in earnest, sniffling and wiping at her tears. “When did you get to be the wise one?”

I glanced at my watch. “About five minutes ago, I think.”

I loved the smile that spread across her face. “I think Jane Austen would appreciate the irony of all this.”

“I know. Mom would too. She turned us into the Dashwood sisters after all.”

“So you’re really staying? With Tom?”

“I’ll get a job in a shop or something for now, so he and I can have a chance to get to know each other. Mom's estate gives me a little cushion. We’ll see what happens from there.”

Daniel walked over to us, rolling Ellen's little suitcase, and I gave him a fierce hug. “Take care of her. I mean it.”

He looked at me in confusion. “You’re not going?”

I laughed. “Ellen will explain it to you on the train.”

Ellen had stepped away and was talking to Mrs. Parrot. I walked up to them and reached inside my handbag to retrieve Cassandra's diary. Then I turned to Mrs. Parrot and held the book out to her. “Ellen gave you Jane's diary, and I’m going to do the same with Cassandra's.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Are you sure?”

I didn't have to look at my sister to know that she agreed with my decision. “I think they should both be with the Formidables.”

Ellen frowned. “Mimi—”

“It's okay, Ell. I know this is the right thing to do.” The Austen sisters had given something to Ellen and me far more precious than a valuable diary or two. I was only returning the favor.

“Thank you.” Mrs. Parrot looked pleased and touched, as well as a little vulnerable. I’d never thought I would see that. She paused and then cleared her throat. “But I have consulted with the membership committee, Mimi, and we should like you to be the keeper of Cassandra's diary.”

“What?” I couldn't believe it when Mrs. Parrot pressed the book back into my hands.

She nodded to Ellen. “We would ask you as well, my dear, to safeguard Jane's, but we have strict requirements that any member must be a resident of the United Kingdom. Since your sister has elected to stay—”

“I understand.” Ellen looked at me with the funniest smile on her face. “Somehow it seems fitting.”

I looked down at the book in my hand in astonishment. “But if I have this, it means…”

“That you are the newest Formidable. There will be some paperwork, and the matter of meeting one or two of the others. But as your mother was well known to many of them…”

I looked at Mrs. Parrot and tried not to let my jaw hang open. “Me? A Formidable?”

She chuckled. “You always were, my dear. You just didn't know it.”

A week ago, I would never have imagined the good-bye scene that Mimi and I enacted in front of the Basingstoke train station. The ferocity of the hug, the copiousness of the tears, the men waiting patiently for us to finish our lengthy farewell.

All along, we had been looking for the wrong thing. We thought we were supposed to unearth some big secret between the sisters, but it had never been about the secrets that Jane and Cassandra Austen kept
from
each other. It was about the secrets they kept
for
each other, from the world. I wanted to say that to Mimi, but instead I just hugged her.

“Mom outsmarted us,” I whispered in Mimi's ear, laughing and crying at the same time.

“Yes, she did.” If she had hugged me any tighter, I wouldn't have been able to breathe. But I didn't care.

We couldn't have been more pleased for our mother to be right.