The Dating Game (2 page)

Holly clicked “d.” “Okay,” she said. “An experiment. What color is the grossest love aura?”

2.
Your idea of a hot date is:

• Dinner with your parents

• A stroll and a stop for a cup of coffee

• A movie with an easy-to-follow plot for plenty of makeout action

• Getting a motel room

“‘D’ again,” Mads urged. “I see where this is going.” She’d taken a few magazine quizzes in her time. “All the sexiest answers are going to be ‘d.’”

“Your wish is my command.” Holly clicked “d.”

“Can we take this quiz again later and pick our real answers?” Lina asked.

“What would your real answer be?” Holly asked.

Lina reread the answers to number two. “Well, none of those is my idea of a hot date,” she said. “I’d like to go out to dinner. Or maybe a
good
movie, not a bad one.”

“Next question,” Mads said.

3.
Your favorite pickup line is:

• What’re you looking at?

• Hi. What’s your name?

• You’re cute. What are you doing for the rest of my life?

• Shut up and kiss me.

“See, I’d never say any of those lines to a boy,” Mads said. “We might as well pick ‘d’ again for fun.”

4.
You’re eating with a guy and he spills ketchup on his shirt. You:

• Say nothing

• Wipe it off with your napkin

• Lick it off

• Tell him his shirt has ketchup on it, then rip it off

“That’s just ridiculous,” Holly said as she clicked on “d.”

5.
You’ll dump a guy if:

• He doesn’t say “Please” and “Thank you”

• He swears too much

• He’s got butt zits

• He won’t do “everything”

“Guys get zits on their butts?” Mads asked. “And what do they mean, ‘everything’?”

“You know what everything means, Mads,” Holly said. “You just don’t know you know it.”

They finished the quiz, answering “d” on every question.

“Now we just fill in a screen name and submit to get our answers,” Mads said, taking over for Holly at the keyboard. Under “name” she typed in “Boobmeister Holly” as a joke.

“Yuk yuk yuk.” Holly did her sarcastic spaz laugh.

Mads pressed
SUBMIT
and they waited a few seconds for their quiz to be analyzed.

ANSWER KEY:

If you picked mostly A’s, your sexual aura is WHITE. Face it, you’re a prude. Join a convent now!

If you picked mostly B’s, your aura is YELLOW. You’re cautious, maybe too much so. Time to take a few chances.

If you picked mostly C’s, your aura is BLUE. You’re sensuous and sexy but don’t carry it too far—most of the time. Be careful.

If you picked mostly D’s, your aura is RED. You’re a total slut! You might want to slow down a bit. But hey, maybe it works for you.

Boobmeister Holly: YOU PICKED ALL D’S.

Your aura = red. Red = slut.

“Happy now, Mads?” Holly asked.

“Yes,” Mads said. “Now I know that the grossest love aura is red and that we’re all sluts.”

“Speak for yourself!” Lina bonked her with a pillow.

Mads noticed an icon at the bottom of the quiz:
E-MAIL THIS TO A FRIEND
. “Let’s send this to somebody,” she said. She thought of Rebecca Hulse. Would she think this was funny? If she did, they could laugh about it together at school on Monday. Mads might get to know her a little better, and that would get her closer to finding out the secrets of the supergirls.

“Does Rebecca like quizzes?” she asked Lina. Of the three of them, Lina knew Rebecca best. They played field hockey together.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Lina said.

“So let’s send it to her,” Mads said.

“Why?” Holly asked.

“For fun,” Mads said. She forwarded the quiz, funny answers, “Boobmeister Holly” and all.

Lina glanced at the clock. “It’s almost midnight already. Weren’t we supposed to do some kind of homework-type thing tonight?”

“Our IHD project,” Holly said. “Any ideas drop out of the sky yet?”

“No,” Lina said.

“It might take a few days,” Mads said.

“I’ll keep an eye out for UFOs,” Holly said.

But the answer, when it came, didn’t drop out of the sky. It came from cyberspace, where anything could happen—and did.

2

Meet the Boobmeister

To:     hollygolitely

From: Your daily horoscope

HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: CAPRICORN: Don’t bother getting up today. Really. I’m so totally serious.

H
i, Holly,” Keith Carter said as Holly headed for her locker first thing Monday morning. “I mean, Boo—”

“Shut up!” Derek Scotto elbowed Keith in the ribs, hard. They both cracked up.

Holly had a familiar sinking feeling. There was something sinister in the air. The school was buzzing with it—vicious gossip molecules infecting everyone who breathed them. She’d been there before, the butt of the jokes, the subject of whispers, the recipient of fake smiles. But why was it happening now? What were they saying this time? And what had set it off?

All right, calm down
. Maybe she was overreacting. After all, Keith and Derek were idiots, and everyone knew it.

“Hey, Holly—my shirt has ketchup on it.” A skinny kid about half Holly’s height leered and flapped his tongue at her. His friends clustered around him, egging him on. “Want to rip it off?”

Okay, so she wasn’t overreacting.
Stupid ninth-grader
. Holly didn’t even know his name. But he knew hers.
Great
.

Holly stopped and loomed over the kid. “Sorry, I don’t understand what you’re talking about. I forgot my English-to-Dork dictionary.”

“Ha ha, dork.” The boy shrank away, his friends taunting him. That took care of that, for now.

It hadn’t been this bad since eighth grade, when some boy wrote “I felt up Holly” on the bathroom wall. Another boy added, “Me, too. Holly has supertits.” Before she knew it, everyone was not-so-secretly calling her “Jolly Holly Supertits” behind her back. It didn’t stop until Kayla Ashton walked out of the girls’ bathroom with the back of her skirt tucked into her thong. Thank god. Then everybody forgot about Jolly Holly and went after Kayla Asscrack.

Holly had developed before any other girl in her class. She finished fifth grade a flat-chested little girl, spent that summer growing out of all her clothes, and by the time sixth grade started she was busty as a Barbie doll. It was a shock for everybody, especially her. But that was five years ago, and she was used to her body now. What was taking everybody else so long?

She came upon a clump of girls, including Rebecca Hulse, who leaned against the wall, sharp knees and elbows jutting out like spikes. They were whispering and giggling. They stopped when Holly approached, but she caught the last little hiss.

“Did you read the answers she gave? Oh my god. She was rated a total slut!”

So that was it. The love-aura quiz. And Mads’ stupid joke name, “Boobmeister Holly.” Holly silently vowed never to pull an EWI—E-mailing While Intoxicated—again. And Mads was going to get it.

“Hey, Holly.” Rebecca’s lips cracked apart, showing her white teeth. Holly supposed it was meant to be a smile. She’d never had a problem with Rebecca before, though she wasn’t as relaxed around her as Lina seemed to be. But now she felt wary.

“I was just telling everyone how that quiz you sent me was only a joke,” Rebecca said. “Some people actually thought you meant it seriously! Can you believe that?”

Holly’s brain tried sending relaxing signals to her face muscles, but her face muscles were not feeling cooperative.

“It was a goof,” Holly explained. “Mads and Lina and I got a little tipsy and we were just fooling around—”

“I knew it,” Rebecca said too brightly. “That’s what I keep telling everybody!”

“The weird thing is, how does everybody know about it?” Holly asked. “We only forwarded it to you, Rebecca, not the whole school.”

“I know,” Rebecca said. “But it was so funny I had to send it to Autumn. How did I know she was going to paste it onto her blog?”

Her blog! “Nuclear Autumn.” The whole school read Autumn Nelson’s blog. It was a neverending source of gossip, sniping, and drama-queen hysterics. How would Holly ever get out of this? Could she pay Kayla to parade around in her underwear again?

“I’m really sorry, Holly,” Rebecca said. “I never meant for this to happen—I swear!”

“That’s funny,” Holly said. “I thought you had total control over your minions.”

Rebecca’s friends looked horrified, but Rebecca herself didn’t break a sweat. “Come on, Holly, Autumn’s my friend, but I can’t control what she does.”

Holly wasn’t so sure. The whispering began again as she walked away. Rebecca was hard to read. Was she trying to embarrass Holly on purpose? Was she covering for Autumn or just being mean? Holly knew it didn’t matter. These things took on a life of their own.

She found a note taped to her locker.

Dear Boobmeister, If Nick Henin can have you, why not me? I was in line ahead of him. Smooches, Bastiano

Holly grimaced. Bastiano, otherwise known as Sebastiano Altman-Peck, had the locker next to hers and liked to tease her.

She glanced at the note again. Nick Henin? What was that supposed to mean? Holly knew who he was—every girl did, he was that cute—but she’d never said a word to him. A great soccer player, he had famously quit the team sophomore year “out of boredom.”

Holly crumpled up the note just as its author, Sebastiano, slinked toward her, and flicked open his locker.

Holly tossed the ball of paper in his face. “You’re such a wit, Bastiano.”

“I know. So just tell me. How did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Bag Nick Henin. Don’t play innocent with me, Anderson. It’s all over school.”

“What?” Holly tried to catch her breath. “What’s all over school? I mean, besides that ‘Boobmeister’ crap.”

“You and Nick. Nice touch, by the way. The nickname, I mean. Classy with a capital K.”

Holly squeezed her eyes shut. “That was Mads’ idea. We were just kidding around. I never meant for the whole school to read it. And I never mentioned Nick. What are they saying?”

“I read on ‘Nuclear Autumn’ that you and Nick hooked up over Christmas break. Apparently he couldn’t get enough of your smokin’ bod, Boobmeister.”

“Stop calling me that,” Holly snapped. Her mind raced. What should she do? Nick was a catch—it was no shame to have dated him. In fact, it might be a good thing. Sort of a status symbol. Holly wasn’t sure. But maybe it was best to keep her mouth shut until she sorted this thing out. Nobody would believe her if she denied it, anyway.

“Who started this?”

Sebastiano shrugged. “Anonymous posting. Who knows where these things come from? What’s the matter? Isn’t it true?”

Holly tried to cover her nausea with a mysterious half-smile. At least she hoped it looked mysterious. “What does Nick say?”

Sebastiano popped two pieces of gum into his mouth. “I’ll ask him next chance I get. Nicky and I are like
that
.” He wrapped one finger around another and held them up for her to see. Then he slammed his locker shut.

He slinked away, notebooks at his hip. Halfway down the hall he turned and called, “Later, Boobalicious.”

Holly banged her forehead against the flimsy metal of her locker door—once, twice, three times. Weren’t her classmates supposed to be too mature for this stuff, the name-calling, the ridiculous rumors? The answer: No.

“Holly, stop!” Mads called from down the hall. “You’ll give yourself brain damage!” She and Lina raced to Holly’s side.

“Are you okay?” Lina asked. “There’s no need for headbanging. This will pass.”

“I guess you heard the rumors,” Holly said. “Mads, why did you have to send that stupid quiz to Rebecca?”

“I’m sorry!” Mads cried. “I didn’t know she’d spread it all over the school. Has anyone said anything to you?”

“Oh, no,” Holly snapped. “Every guy in school thinks I’m looser than my grandmother’s neck—
before
the facelift.”

“It’s not really Mads’ fault, Holly,” Lina said. “Autumn’s the one who posted the quiz on her blog.”

“Holly, you were there. You thought it was funny, too.” Mads said. Her eyes were damp. Holly wished she hadn’t snapped at her. It was hard to stay mad at Mads. And anyway, she was right.

“It’s okay, Mads,” Holly said. “I still think it’s funny. I just wish everyone else could be cooler about it.”

“You know what you need?” Lina said. “A nice big cup of hot cocoa. Or maybe a latté. Let’s go to Vineland this afternoon.”

“Sounds good,” Holly said. “Too bad I have to get through a whole day of school first.”

“Maybe Nick made the anonymous posting himself,” Madison said. She blew on her coffee and took a sip.

Holly, Lina, and Madison had snagged a prime window table at Vineland, a café in a tiny wooden cottage on Rutgers Street, overlooking the valley. Carlton Bay was a pretty town, bordered on the west by a small bay, with a marina and funky shops and seafood restaurants. From there the town spread across miles of woods dotted with houses to a lush green valley. The girls stared out the window but barely saw the landscape. Their minds were otherwise occupied.

“You know what I heard today?” Mads said. “I was late for gym and these two juniors were in the locker room. They were talking about some girl named Krista and how she went out with two boys who were friends.”

“At the same time?” Lina asked.

“No. First she went out with one, and after they broke up she went out with his best friend. She said they both kissed exactly the same way, as if they learned it from the same person.”