The Daughter He Wanted (10 page)

“Like I said the other day, you interest me. What project did you start at school today?”

Paige blinked at the abrupt change of subject, and then seemed to relax. “My fifth graders are learning about Pop Art, which they assume means positioning ketchup bottles on a windowsill or decoupaging labels on a canvas.”

They chatted about school all the way to her car and while he helped her load her groceries, and then stood beside her hatchback as the conversation switched to talk about the parks. All very casual, just a conversation between friends, but Alex couldn’t help noticing how the parking lot lights shimmered against Paige’s hair or how the way she leaned one hip against the car outlined her long, long legs. She paused before getting into her car.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Make nice with me. Pretend you’re interested in my class. Just because we aren’t dating, it doesn’t mean I would keep Kaylie from you.”

Alex tilted his head. “That thought never entered my mind. As I said, I like talking to you.”

Paige bit her lower lip. “But, why? I’m not... You don’t...”

“You’re not my type? I don’t know you? True enough on the second. As for the first, I’ve never really had a type,” he lied. He had had a type and it was all Deanna from the first moment they met—freckles and short legs and blond hair. Now it was all Paige, and that was unsettling. But the more he tried to push her from his mind the more firmly she seemed entrenched there.

“I was going to say it’s too soon. But I kind of feel like I’ve been saying that for a week.” The words were harsh but her voice wasn’t. There was a question there, one he couldn’t define. A curiosity.

He stepped closer and couldn’t resist touching his finger to the soft skin under her chin. He felt the touch like a lightning bolt burning along his nerve endings and when he spoke his voice was deeper than normal. “I like you, Paige Kenner, and if all I get are these chance meetings at the grocery store, that is okay with me.”

She wavered. Just for a second, but Alex was so focused on her he couldn’t miss it. For one second, she leaned slightly toward him and her mouth opened just a hair. He could feel her breath on his skin, could smell her fruity shampoo and something richer, darker beneath that. Perfume, maybe.

He leaned in, pressing his lips to hers. Just the slightest touch, and then she straightened and opened her car door.

“B-broken record or not, it is too soon.” She straightened her perfectly straight jacket and sat behind the wheel. “I won’t change my mind, you know. Not because you just kissed me under the parking lot light or because we buy the same brand of mac and cheese or because you asked about my work.”

Alex stepped back and flexed his hands against the cart handle as if that might ground him from the chemistry he was feeling. “I know.”

“Us going on a date is too much pressure. It’s too soon.”

“Okay.” He agreed because “too soon” was so much better than the never he got on Sunday.

CHAPTER SEVEN

“
I
DON’T GET
HIM
.” Paige lifted her foot from the water tub at the base of the spa pedicure chair when the technician indicated. Alison, sitting in the chair next to her with a blissful expression on her face as the massaging backrest moved up her spine, didn’t reply. “What does he want?”

Finally Alison opened one eye. “Sounds to me like he wants to go out with you. Would that be so terrible?”

Paige glared at her friend. Of all the times for Alison to stop playing devil’s advocate in Paige’s choice of men... “You’re the one who reminded me a few days ago about my not-so-stellar past in the man department.”

The technicians began painting their toes. Deep green for Alison and hot pink with a glitter top coat for Paige.

“Because I didn’t want you to leap before you looked.” Alison groaned as the apparatus hit her shoulders. “We have
got
to do this more often.” She clasped her hands over her tummy and tilted her head to look at Paige. “Would it really be so terrible to have dinner with the man? He’s Kaylie’s father after all. It could be like a romance novel, two strangers with only a little girl in common.”

Paige rolled her eyes. “I ‘just had dinner’ with the law student and two years later I was still using him. That is not romance-novel-heroine material.”

“That was the old Paige. You’re not that girl anymore. You’re a woman, a great mom, but a woman, and I’m pretty sure having Kaylie didn’t erase all the womanly needs we all have.”

“That’s part of the problem,” Paige mumbled. The technicians led them to the dryer area and Paige busied herself with her bag.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She pulled her credit card from her wallet and handed it over to the nail tech. “I know this is a complete overreaction.” His kiss still burned against her lips. It was light and fresh. The whole situation was too pretty.
Daughter Helps Mom and Dad Fall In Love
. Definitely something that only happened in fiction. Reality was arguing over dance versus soccer practice, mortgage payments and who would clean up after dinner.

Or, worse, not arguing about anything. Not talking about anything. Putting a happy smile on your face in public and once the front door closed, going to separate rooms to live separate lives.

They had nothing in common, other than Kaylie. How could a relationship start with zero common interests? What happened when the chemical flame burned out and all that was left was a silent dinner table, separate bedrooms and separate lives?

She spent the first half of her life waiting for her parents to announce their divorce. Waiting for them to have a meaningful conversation about something. Wondering if it was her fault that her father spent more time with his students than with his family. She wouldn’t put Kaylie through it, too. Sooner or later Alex would realize she wasn’t the woman he wanted. It was better all the way around if they skipped over the part where he pretended she was anything more than the mother of his child.

“Paige. What?” Alison wouldn’t give up, Paige knew. Her best friend was like a dog with a bone when something sparked her attention. And Alex’s interest in Paige had sparked her attention.

Just like that barely there caress and kiss in the parking lot had sparked a fire she was still trying to put out.

“He kissed me.”

Alison’s eyes widened. “And?”

“And, I stopped it. It was just a moment, a bad-decision moment.”
A moment I can’t stop reliving.
She sighed. Now was not the time to spill that little secret to Alison. “So you had dinner with Tuck last night?” Talking about Alex’s friend would distract Alison; talking about her love interests was usually a guaranteed distraction.

Not tonight.

“He’s fun. And we’re not talking about me, we’re talking about why you won’t go on a date with Alex—who is your type in every way, and who kissed you last night at the grocery store.”

“It was more a peck than a kiss. And he’s not my type.” He was the opposite of her type: accomplished, employed. Nice.

“He is, and not just because he’s handsome and has a good job.”

The dryers switched off and the nail tech brought back her credit card. Paige signed the slip. “How about that glass of wine before I hijack our entire night with my obsessing?”

Alison stopped her as they exited the salon. “How about we keep talking it through until you know what you want to do?”

“This night is about thanking you for helping out with Kaylie, not getting all crazy about Alex Ryan.” Paige started her car and pulled out onto the street. “Tell me more about that project at the winery with the students from Washington U.”

“The project is on hold. Tuck is looking good. Why can’t you date Alex?”

Paige sighed. “He’s dangerous.”

They arrived at the wine bar in a few minutes and were shown to a table in the corner. Paige ordered her favorite white but Alison chose a new local red.

“Keeping my eye on the competition,” she said. “Here are my reasons to be on Team Alex on this one—you’ve been looking for a solid, dependable man your entire life. He stepped into the argument with your mom on Sunday, he still hasn’t stopped ribbing Tuck about catching us in the pantry and he didn’t stop Kaylie from being a kid. None of those are dangerous things.”

“Having a decent job isn’t the same as not being dangerous.”

“It’s the first step. You know he stood by his wife through cancer, and before that he was willing to visit a fertility clinic. Those are solid, stand-up things.”

So he was solid. A stand-up guy. Committed. The kind of commitment it took to stand by when the one you loved suffered through radiation and chemotherapy. That kind of love didn’t just go away, did it? Add one more reason to the Don’t Date Alex List: How could he have gotten over that kind of love? And where did that leave her and Kaylie?

Paige shook her head. “No, it’s better if I stick with friends, no benefits, not even a dinner now and then. That way he can concentrate on Kaylie and nobody will get hurt.”

“Paige—”

“No, Al, it really is better this way. You know me. Before Kaylie I always took the leap at love before I looked to see if there was a net to catch me. Well, I’m looking now. I’m inspecting the net for frayed edges. I’ve messed up every relationship I’ve ever had, except for my friendship with you and my love for my daughter. Alex apparently had a marriage strong enough to withstand cancer. Those are two very big snags waiting to become a big, fat hole in the middle of the net.”

Alison finished her drink. “Don’t put all that on you. Yes, you made mistakes. But we’ve all been young and stupid. You never had anyone to help you pick up the pieces, not really. Dot would pile on the guilt and Hank would ignore you. You reacted to them and because of them, not because of something broken inside you.”

“And what about Alex? We’ve both said it—he was committed to his wife. He sees Kaylie as a commitment, and that’s great. But, Al, I don’t want us to be the people he settles for because he can’t have what he really wanted.”

Paige pushed her glass away. She knew what she had to do to protect Kaylie and that was keep Alex strictly in the friend category. Look at how she’d reacted on the way home from the grocery store—smiling, singing along with the radio and imagining herself and Alex in the lead roles of a falling-in-love song. She was already so close to the edge with him.

In her heart, she’d always wanted Kaylie to have a father. Someone involved and interested in her life.

“It’s better this way, better just being friends and focusing our attentions on Kaylie for the next few months.”

“And after that?” Alison crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot against the hardwood floor. “What happens when she’s settled and Alex is a regular part of life?”

“Then this minor attraction will be old news. No big deal.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

The initial attraction would fade, Paige told herself. It always did. She just had to hold out until then.

* * *

T
HE ATTRACTION WAS
still there. Alex shouldn’t be surprised by it, but there it was. Again. He also shouldn’t like it, especially when Paige was clear there would be no dating and definitely no kissing, but he did.

Alex watched through the floor-to-ceiling windows separating the entrance of the rec center from the pool area where Kaylie would have her swim lesson in just a few minutes. Paige had called earlier in the day to invite him along. He’d jumped at the chance and didn’t examine too closely what he wanted—the invitation to watch Kaylie swim or to be closer to Paige.

Kaylie waved from the top step when she saw him and Alex couldn’t stop the smile spreading over his face. God, how had he gone all this time without knowing about this kid who was part of him?

“Hi, Alex,” she said in her little-girl voice. “Are you watching me swim?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he said and wasn’t surprised to realize he meant it. “I was a swimmer, you know. But I bet you could teach me a few things.” Somehow, after only one official meeting, the little girl had wound her way into his heart, leaving it less cold than before. Her mom, too, he admitted, as he watched Paige take Kaylie into the changing room. There was something about Paige that wouldn’t let him go. Part of it was physical. There had been one woman since Dee. Two years before, after a night out with Tuck and the rest of his rec-league team. Two years was a long time. That had to be why he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Why she was as high in his mind as the little girl he was supposed to be getting to know, but the physical was only part of it. The other part wanted to know about her. Her art, her favorite foods, favorite pastimes.

They were back in a few moments and Paige sat next to him on the bench. Kaylie joined the other kids at the side of the pool, laughing and giggling with her friends.

“Thanks for letting me know about this.”

Paige shrugged. “No problem. I’m glad you made the time.”

Alex mimicked her shrug. “No problem. I’ll always make time for her.”

Something flickered in Paige’s eyes but was gone before he could decipher it. He watched the kids at the side of the pool for a few minutes, uncomfortable in the silence. Which was weird. He’d never felt uncomfortable around Paige before.

He caught a couple of looks from the other parents around the pool. Wondering who he was, what he meant to Paige most likely, and then he understood the discomfort. She was the single mom. In a small, close-knit community like this, inviting him to a swim lesson was a big deal.

“I thought you might enjoy it. She loves to swim.” Her tone was tense, and Alex felt responsible. Because what was tense about a mom taking her kid to swim lessons? Nothing, until you added a sperm donor to the mix.

“I used to swim.” Maybe talking about something innocuous would dispel the tension. “Just summer leagues when I was in school, but it was fun.”

The coach blew her whistle and one by one the kids jumped into the pool, sputtering as they came back to the surface to hold on to the side. Another instructor joined the coach and they started at opposite ends of the pool, helping the kids rocket away from the wall on their tummies. Reminding them to blow into the water like elephants, and reach their arms to the ceiling. When Kaylie’s turn came she hesitated and Alex felt his hands clench. The instructor, a young girl with a long brown ponytail, encouraged Kaylie to kick away from the wall. Finally she pushed off, but instead of reaching her hands above the water, Kaylie pushed around in a doggie paddle.