The Day I Shot Cupid (9 page)

• 1.
  Listen to
  Jagged Little Pill
  (Alanis Morissette).
  
• 2.
  Eat chocolate, but only for forty-eight hours.
  
• 3.
  Get out of bed, preferably within seventy-two hours.
  
• 4.
  Get out of the house (remember, your friends still have to know you, so shower).
  
• 5.
  Talk about something else.
  
• 6.
  Go to yoga.
  
• 7.
  Delete his number.
  
• 8.
  Change your number.
  
• 9.
  Make out with a stranger (he must be gorgeous or you’ll feel worse).
  
• 10.
  Get a new outfit.
  
• 11.
  Get a new hairdo.
  
• 12.
  Call that guy you have always thought about.
  
• 13.
  Stop driving by his house (it’s not
  Fatal Attraction
  ).
  
• 14.
  Delete him from Facebook (refer to earlier IM chapter).
  
• 15.
  Don’t have regrets.
  
• 16.
  Don’t go to see romantic comedies.
  
• 17.
  Do something extreme (that you wouldn’t normally do).
  
• 18.
  Don’t go to the old “we” spots.
  
• 19.
  Take it one day at a time (we all have to take it one day at a time, that’s how it works).
  
• 20.
  Know you won’t die (you have to stick around so he can see what a mistake he made).
  

W
henever we suffer a breakup, we
can’t help but wonder about the damage done to our hearts. Maybe some interesting facts about how truly strong the heart is will help us remember that the damage is just emotional:

• The average human heart, beating at seventy-two beats per minute, will beat approximately 2.5 billion times in a lifetime, which is about sixty-six years.
  
• It weighs on average 250g to 300g in females and 300g to 350g in males
  (for once, it’s not women who have the weight problem).
  
• The human heart begins beating at a rate near the mother’s, about seventy-five to eighty beats per minute, around twenty-one days after conception.
  
• There is no difference between male and female heartbeats before birth; it is only after birth and during full function as a male or female that they become different (boy,
  how
  different).
  
• The heart is the most critical organ of the human body, as it pumps oxygenated blood to feed the body’s biological functions. Therefore, it is the part of the body you should take care of the most.
  
• High blood pressure and stress (breakups and fighting) can increase
  the risk of developing heart disease. Of course, one must also consider other factors, such as lifestyle and overall health (mental and social as well as physical).
  
• The heart is essentially a muscle only a little larger than the fist (great things come in small packages).
  

O
xytocin is the hormone that will be your
new best friend. It is produced in both males and females. Oxytocin plays a role in response to maternal, sexual, and social behaviors. Even virgin female rats injected with oxytocin fawn and nuzzle anything nearby, protecting them as if they were their own. Studies show that oxytocin in females as well as in males is key to pair bonding. Oxytocin has been proven to increase trust and reduce fear (wonder if I can get it in a pill!). Our oxytocin levels rise when we are touched anywhere on our bodies, producing
that “warm and fuzzy feeling.” If there is a key that can help unlock the heart to love, it is oxytocin. Don’t skip over the feeling when it happens—breathe it in and enjoy it. Oxytocin cocktail, anyone?

In the Name of Love

O
kay, I know we have all been through this
one. After you’ve stopped dating someone, everyone in your life has to tell you how awful he was. “Did you know he was cheating on you the whole time?” “Did you know that he hit on me at my birthday party?” “The first time I saw him, I knew he was all wrong for you.” “He SO was not even cute!” You get the point. The initial purpose is sweet. It’s to boost you up, make you feel special and like you were
too good for him anyway. But the internal conflict that you are experiencing is invisible to those around you. You start to think, Why? Why didn’t anyone tell me I was with Satan? Why didn’t anyone tell me as my life was dwindling away? And then you think, and why tell me now? As if I need more bad news on top off all the pain I’m feeling. Then you feel stupid for not seeing it. And it’s only then that you realize, sometimes the best good-bye is a nice one. Leaving yourself with a good memory will get you a lot further in the healing process.

Look, if it was good, you would still be in it. It wasn’t, so you’re not. But wouldn’t you rather know that you were in it at one point for a reason? Of course you would. You want to know that you chose the right person to spend time with for that part of your life, that he was a good person, and that, at that time, you made the right choice. That your time together mattered and you can take what you’ve learned here to your next relationship. You want to remember
good times, because it’s only good that can fill up your heart so you can move on. Hatred makes you stagnant—it leaves no room for growth and isn’t real.

I have apologized to friends and loved ones, but you can’t say who I chose was wrong. That’s for me to decide. Loving someone, even someone who you don’t love anymore, for what they brought to your life, is you being your highest self. So, earmuffs. Let people know that your relationships are not to be gossiped about, that you love their support, but to support you with positive things, not negative. There are so many things to talk about, let’s leave each other out of it.