The Day Of The Wave (14 page)

I peel off my T-shirt and shorts, till I'm standing in my new turquoise blue bikini. I wade out to waist depth, float on my back, looking up at the branches crisscrossing the sky and the bright-colored butterflies zooming against the blue. I can handle this, I think - water in an enclosed area. As long as it doesn't go over my face. I don't like the water going over my head. 

'Woah, check out your abs!' Justin's voice. It's a little too close to me suddenly. I didn't hear him come up. I get to my feet quickly on the smooth pebbles beneath, my first impulse making me cross my arms over myself.

Ben's swimming over now too, blinking the water from his eyes after his jump. 'You're ripped,' Justin says, looking from Ben to my stomach. 'Did you see this woman?'

'No I'm not,' I say, turning away from him. 'I'm normal.'

He laughs. 'Izzy, that is not normal. Sydney chicks are full of pie... unless you go to Bondi. Are you a gymnast or something?'

'I do some Pilates,' I tell him. Ben swims between us. The water is shining all over him and he sweeps the wet hair from his face as he stands, looking into my eyes through the shades I'm still wearing. 'It was therapy, for my injuries,' I explain. 'It just stuck. I haven't been in a while, though.'

'Well, it looks like you have,' Justin says, peering around Ben and sticking his thumb up. 'Looking good!'

'She doesn't need your approval, buddy,' Ben says. It doesn't come out as mean, more matter of fact with a hint of a warning, but his words flip my insides. I don't miss the way his gaze flits quickly to my stomach though, and secretly I'm glad. I move my arms. It's true; till recently I've done Pilates three times a week for years. I needed it to strengthen my core and get my limbs moving. It's addictive after a while; at least it was for me. I wouldn't ever say I was ripped though, not at all. It just makes me feel better. Justin exaggerates everything.

'Your face is getting red,' Ben says now. I don't know if he means from embarrassment or from the sun.

'I have sunscreen,' Justin tells us, wading out of the pool again. 'Slip-Slop-Slap, that's what they say in Oz! Who wants?' He rubs the white liquid all over himself and holds up the bottle as I follow him out. 'Want me to do your back, babe?' 

'OK, thanks,' I say. I don't want him touching me, actually. The way he talks and acts is really starting to irritate me now. I'm not exactly used to not being able to escape people I don't want to be around, but I don't want to burn and I don't want to ask Ben. 

Ben's phone makes a noise right next to me. I don't see a name on the screen but I assume it's Kalaya. Doesn't she finish her shift around now? I watch him hurry out of the water, dripping. The muscles flex in his broad, strong back as he picks it up, turns and walks away with it. The tattoo on his shoulder, T&C, really suits him. I want to ask him about it. I want to ask him so many things, still.

'I'm going for another jump,' Justin informs me, smearing more cream on his own face and making a little show of flexing out his biceps as he adds it to his arms. 'Care to join me?' 

'I don't think so, I'll grade you out of ten though,' I say.

He wriggles his eyebrows. 'I've already graded you,' he says.

I open my mouth to say something but he lets out a laugh. 'I'm kidding, Jesus!' He runs into the water before I can respond. Something tells me he wasn't kidding. 

'That was the cops,' Ben says when he comes to sit down next to me. 

'What?'

'Someone in Phi Phi says they've seen someone matching the description you gave them of the Scottish guy? He's still there!'

My eyes grow wide and his shades slip off my nose. I catch them. 'Oh my god, that's brilliant!'

'They can't arrest him though, they have no proof he took your purse.'

'Oh. So why did they bother to let us know?' 

Ben shrugs. 'Guess they wanted to appear useful.'

I sigh, hand him the shades back. 'Well, if they won't arrest him I don't know how I'm meant to get my stuff back.' 

'We could just go there,' he says. His bare knee brushes up against mine and sends a charge to my heart again. 'They found out his name when he checked into a room at the PP Sandy Beach Hotel. Those don't come cheap these days.' 

'He's probably spent my cash on it,' I say. 'What's his name?'

'Alan Gillespie.'

'Alan,' I repeat. 'He didn't look like an Alan.'

The
swine!
We shall find this Alan and
destroy
him.' Ben's mocking my accent again and my lips twitch into a smile, even as I pretend to thump his shoulder. He catches my wrist.

'We can't just go there, Ben.'

'Sure we can. If you want to teach at the school, you don't have to start till Wednesday...'

'Won't Marcus have to train me?'

'He can go over some stuff on Tuesday. And once the French girls go tomorrow we only have a couple people signed up for dives. The season's winding down, Sonthi can cover any last minute stragglers. We should go first thing tomorrow. You'll like Phi Phi anyway, it's nice. They have good mushrooms.'

I turn to him. 'Seriously? You too?'

'What?' he says, dropping my arm. 'I'm kidding! Or am I?' He winks and I feel my eyes roll.

'But don't I have to get a boat, if I go over there?' I say.

'Well, yeah, it's an island.'

I bite my lip, watch the water drip from his hair onto his shoulder blades. Coming here was one thing; going to Phi Phi too, that was never part of the plan. 'I'm not sure I can go on a boat,' I say and he shakes his head at me.

'You've already been on the beach, Izzy. You stepped in the water. You rode a scooter! Come on, you can ride a speedboat. It's not even that far. It's less than an hour from Phuket.'

'All valid points, but...'

'Focus on the prize. You'll feel great for riding the boat, like I know you do about the bike. And you need to catch this asshole, Alan,' he says, 'get your passport back. And your notebook! You need the notebook to finish your book.'

'I need it to start my book,' I admit as Justin lets out a Tarzan cry and crashes into the pool again. 'Ben, what if it's not even him who took my stuff? Or what if he leaves the island and we can't find him?'

'What if, what if, what if,' he teases. 'What if the cops on Phi Phi keep an eye on him? They will, Izzy, trust me, they love this shit. Catching dumb tourists out, it's their favorite thing.'

I laugh. I can't help it now. I can see that sixteen-year-old-Ben again; the way he was when we met. There was always another adventure ahead. Something else exciting. In just eight days Ben managed to turn my holiday into a trip through some kind of magical wonderland. I can feel my resolve weakening already. My life is so boring now. Boring and safe and gray. I think of Colin again. One shade of gray. It's all been very far from fifty, actually.

'What about Kalaya? Will she come?' I say, feigning indifference. My stomach knots as I say it but I already know she wouldn't exactly be thrilled about us going off to an island together on some mission. 

'I'll ask her,' Ben says. I can't read his voice. 

'What are you guys plotting over here?' Justin says, walking back over to us from the water. He drops himself down on his haunches, pulls the bottle of water back out of his backpack and swigs it back. It drips down his chin.

'The police found a guy on Phi Phi who might have Izzy's stuff,' Ben tells him.

'Really? No shit! I'm heading there next, are you heading over there?'

'I think so.'

'Is your girlfriend going with you?' he asks Ben. 'Or did you forget you had one?'

We both snap our heads to him at the exact same time. Justin laughs, screws the bottle top back on and shoves it with his shirt back into his backpack. 'Come on mate, I can see two people falling when they're right in front of me.'

I make a choking sound. 'Falling... what...' 

'In luuuurve. Any more sparks between you and you'd be starting a bloody forest fire. I hope it rains if you do... it's too fucking hot as it is. Right, I'm going now.'

'You're going?'

'I'm heading back, I need a nanny nap,' he says, getting up. 'I'll see you lovebirds later. Thanks for the tour.'

We both watch him leave. My cheeks are blazing hotter than ever. I stare at the waterfall and so does Ben and neither of us says anything for ages. Awkward, awkward, awkward. 

'You know what?' I say eventually, getting to my feet. 'I do want to jump off those rocks.'

'Really?' Ben springs up after me. 

'Yes, I'm going to do it.' 

'Well, wait, I'll come with you!'

'Come on then.'

He follows me back up to the wet, grassy ledge, clambering up rock after rock after rock till we're as high as we can get. I look out at the croaking, chirruping landscape and down at the water. He takes my fingers as I walk to the edge and take a deep breath. 'OK, Izzy, are you sure about this?'

'Yes.'

'Then on the count of three,' he says. 'One... Two...'

'Three!' I yell. And with Ben's hand holding mine, I'm falling. 

Justin keeps throwing me looks and I know what he's saying, even as Kalaya rests her head on my shoulder and sighs in content. Her hair keeps blowing out and around my face, faster than I can swipe it away. She has one ear of her iPhone headphones and I have the other and we're watching the ocean stretching out ahead of us, speeding further and further away from Phuket. 

The floor of the top deck is the best place to be. I usually love it up here too, lying on my back with the sun on my face and my feet on the railings and a pretty girl's head on my chest... but I keep thinking of Izzy sitting downstairs inside on her own and I feel shitty for leaving her. She was too nervous to sit outside.

'Want me to go check on her?' Justin says now, without me saying a word. He's taken off his shirt like most people and he's shining almost silver with all the sunscreen, like a fish. I can see girls looking at him and he knows they are, too. I can see him checking them all out through his designer shades. Kalaya lifts my hand, laces her fingers through mine and makes a point of holding me right next to her. I'm pissed at myself all over again for the way this turned out.

'Sure, might be nice to go make sure she's alright,' I tell Justin. 

'No worries. Beer?' 

Kalaya and I both shake our heads. It's only ten thirty; not that it's stopped an old weathered hippy with a monkey on a leash across from us. He's already on his third can. I watch Justin grip the railing on the way to the staircase. The boat is moving so fast, but people always move about and drink beer up here, and show off with pet monkeys. Izzy's missing out. I'm pretty sure she can't ride anything like this on the Thames in London. 

I rest my cheek absently against Kalaya's warm head. Izzy put on a brave face while we boarded but I know she was freaking out. The boat's a pretty big one, though. It's more like a huge lounge downstairs and it's easy to forget you're even on the water if you close your eyes and just listen to your music. 

'Ben. Izzy is a big girl,' Kalaya says now, almost like she's reading my thoughts. 'She needs to do things for herself.' I lift my head. She looks up at me, raises her sunglasses off her nose and her words piss me off in a heartbeat. She knew I wanted to make sure Izzy felt safe, yet she still insisted on me sitting up here with her anyway, like it was her job to try and teach her some kind of lesson. 

'I know she does, I'm here, aren't I?' I say and she rolls her eyes, stares back out across the waves.

I need to break things off with her, I know I do. I'm a coward. I'm getting all pissed at Kalaya when it's myself I'm really mad at. I was planning on calling it off even before I bumped into Izzy in Bangkok but if I do it now, Kalaya will think Izzy's the whole reason why and she'll make things hell at Dream Dive. She'll make things hard for Izzy too, and Izzy's got enough to deal with here as it is. So have I. I'm thinking things I never thought I'd have to think about again. My head feels like it's about to explode. Mind you, it could just be this music. I take out the headphone. Kalaya's music is hurting my brain.

Justin appears again, makes his way back over holding another can of beer. 'She's fine, mate,' he says, snapping the lid and leaning his back against the railings. 'Tapping away on her iPad. She said she hasn't looked out the window yet.'

I smile at him over Kalaya's head. 'Thanks,' I say. 'She just hates the water, you know?'

'Didn't she jump off those rocks with you, though? In the end?' he says as the monkey tries to make a grab for his beer and he almost loses his footing. 

Kalaya's head shoots up. 'Rocks?'

Justin slides back down onto the floor, lets the monkey sit on his shoulder. A blonde starts taking photos with her phone and he pulls her in to pose with him. 'We went for a swim, after the memorial,' I tell Kalaya. 'You were still on your shift.'
Please don't scratch me with your nails again
. 

The longer I leave things going with her, the more I feel like a total asshole. The more I probably
am
an asshole, actually, but I don't know how long Izzy's staying. I figure if I can just hold off another break up till she leaves, I'll save us all from the fallout.

'She jumped with me, yes, but that wasn't the ocean,' I tell Justin. There was total elation on her face at dinner last night, when she admitted she hadn't put her head under the water in years before that. 'It's the
ocean
she's afraid of,' I point out, gesturing at the literal expanse of it whizzing past in the wind and shades of blue. 'Being in a tsunami will do that to you.'

'Sorry,' he says sincerely for a second, lifting his shades again. I throw him a nod, but he's grinning again in a second as the girl demands another photo with him and the monkey.

This whole trip must be even worse for Izzy knowing Justin's tagging along too, but it's not like we had a choice. Phi Phi was always his next stop; it made sense for us all to share a car to Phuket and take the journey together and we could hardly say no once he suggested it. I could hardly not invite Kalaya either. I sigh through my nostrils, chew on my cheeks as she goes back to listening to her music without me. Why do I feel like I'm weaving one massive tangled web, right now?