The Deal with Love (One on One) (16 page)

Elise shared a look of mutual love with her father, a silent understanding that had been lacking in their relationship for far too long as far as she was concerned.

“That’s how I feel about my mom,” Drew said.

Elise patted his hand curled into a ball on the table. “I’m saying this as a person, not as a general manager. I’ll answer any questions you or your mother have about free agency and address any concerns she may have. I’ll tell her the pros and cons of switching teams. I’ll be as honest as I can. I want you and your mom to feel good about your decision, whatever it is. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.”

“We both do,” her father said.

“Thank you,” Drew said simply.

…

After dinner, Elise rode back to the airport with her father. Silence lingered in the limo. She wanted to end it, but she had to figure out what to say first. And how to say it. She understood that he wanted the team to succeed, but he had to understand that she wanted the same thing. They couldn’t go on this way with him constantly undermining her. She was a grown woman who knew her own mind. A professional trying to do her job.

That’s
what she needed to say. Right now.

“I’m sorry,” he said as she opened her mouth to speak.

She jerked her head away from the window to stare at him. “You’re sorry? About what?”

“Tonight, for starters. I knew you told me to lay back and let the situation unfold naturally, but since I was in California on business, I couldn’t help myself.”

Her dad admitting he was wrong? “Are you okay? I mean, I’m thankful you’re admitting you’re wrong, but that’s not like you.” She held up a hand. “Wait. Did you say ‘for starters’?”

His lips twisted. “I’m fine, and yes, I have more to apologize for. I know I’ve been unfair to you. I appointed you as GM, but I haven’t given you the freedom to do the job.”

“Then why did you give me the job in the first place?” A question that had been weighing on her mind for a long time. A question she’d been afraid to ask for fear of the answer. But she could no longer let the fear win. It was time to act like the adult she always claimed to be. “Was it a publicity stunt? Were you trying to shut me up with no intention of ever letting me
be
the GM? Did you want me to be a figurehead?”

He shook his head forcefully. “No, it was never any of that. At the end of the day, I’m still a businessman, and I never would’ve made the move if I didn’t believe you deserved it. But I’m also a father who wants his child to succeed. It would tear me up if you didn’t. I know people have been brutal about you becoming the general manager. When they’re talking about me, saying I’m making bad decisions, I don’t care. But you’re my only child. When I butted in, I didn’t do it because I didn’t think you could do the job. My goal was to make sure you
did
succeed. I know that sounds crazy and contradictory, but it’s how I felt. Don’t think I’ve never noticed all the good things you’ve done for the Stampede. It was you who convinced me to buy the team in the first place. It was you who convinced me to make the trade for Brady. Those are just a couple of examples. I couldn’t be prouder to call you my daughter.”

Her dad’s compliments warmed her heart, but he still hadn’t addressed one issue. “I never understood why whenever I brought up succeeding Jim as GM, you always dismissed it, saying we’d talk about it later,” she said. “We were always so close. I didn’t understand where the distance was coming from.”

Her dad sighed. “I could see the writing on the wall, and I got scared. Being a GM is tough. What if it didn’t go well? I would never want that for you. I know you’ve felt stifled. I clung to you after we lost your mother. You were all I had left. I didn’t want you to feel any more disappointment or any more heartache. I still struggle with seeing you as an adult. But tonight it hit me like a ton of bricks watching you handle Drew with grace, dignity, and command. I don’t have to protect you. You’re smart and have a strong sense of self. You’re not interested in letting anything or anyone get in your way of succeeding. I like to think I had a hand in molding you, but at the end of the day, it’s all you.” His voice cracked. “I love you, and I’m proud of you.”

Blinking away tears, Elise leaned in for a long hug. They hadn’t embraced in so long. But her father’s arms wrapped around her felt like coming home. “Thank you, Daddy.” Her dad squeezed her one more time, and Elise sat back. “I miss Mama every day, and I always will, but I want you to know I couldn’t have asked for a better father. I was so worried about disappointing you and not living up to your expectations. I started pulling away because I felt I couldn’t be who you wanted me to be. I thought you didn’t want me working for the team, which made me angry because that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I felt I had to do more and more to make you proud of me. That’s why signing Drew was so important to me. I wanted to prove to you that I was all grown up and could make my own decisions.”

“I know you can. You’re so focused and won’t let anything or anyone stand in the way of your goals. Too bad Christian wasn’t here to film your amazing performance at dinner.”

To her embarrassment, the tears she’d been holding back spilled out.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?”

Elise brushed the tears aside and tried to gather her composure. “Nothing.”

Her father offered up a rueful smile. “When you say nothing, do you mean Christian?”

She froze. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about how you looked miserable when Drew brought him up earlier
and
how you started crying as soon as I mentioned his name. I see the way you look at him. I hear a tone in your voice when you talk about him I’ve never heard before.”

Elise stared at her hands. “Oh.”

Her dad sighed. “I shouldn’t have interfered and pushed you two together, but I wanted you to have what I had with your mom. After we lost her, I made work my life because I needed something to concentrate on to get through those days that were filled with so much pain. But, at some point, I realized that work couldn’t be my entire life.”

Her head shot up. “What are you talking about? You were always there for me.”

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. “I’m glad that’s what you remember. You were so young. But it took me a while to realize that I did have something—someone—to live for, and that someone was you. Before that, I’m embarrassed to say your nanny knew your needs and wants better than I did.”

“What happened to make you see the light?”

“You were still taking piano lessons, and I had no idea. I came home early from work one day because a meeting had been canceled, and I saw a notice about your recital for that night on the refrigerator. I was so embarrassed I didn’t know about it. Luckily for me, the recital hadn’t started yet, so I rushed right over.”

Elise smiled. “I remember that recital. I also remember you being there. I was so happy to see you.”

“You were so small but so determined to get everything right. Not much has changed. You sat at that piano in the proper position with the fiercest look of concentration on your face. You adjusted your sheet music just so and played that piece like your life depended on it.”

She leaned her head against his shoulder. “You used to look so sad, and I thought that if I played the piano well enough, you would be happy again. I guess that’s the way I’ve been thinking for years now.”

“I made the decision right then and there that I would always know what my daughter was involved in. I would never miss a recital or award show or whatever you were involved in ever again. My career wasn’t the only thing that could bring me comfort and joy. Then and now, you offer me more comfort and joy than any business ever could.”

Surprised, Elise looked up. “But you love business.”

He shook his head. “Nowhere near as much as I love you and the bond that we have. Business is business, but family is family, and I know which one I’d give up in a heartbeat if I could only have one.”

“I’m happy to hear it, but you’re a man. I have to work twice as hard to be taken seriously in this business.”

Her dad squeezed her shoulder again. “That’s how I know you’re my daughter. You never hesitate to speak the truth. This is what I’ll say. I’ve been a businessman a long time. The one thing I’ve learned is that the people who matter know how terrific you are and outsiders will always have something negative to say. Always. But you can’t worry about proving yourself to them. There will come a time when they will have no choice but to acknowledge your intelligence and your excellence because it’s there. Never forget that. You deserve to know your worth. You deserve to be happy, too.”

Elise sighed. She’d heard her father’s unspoken message loud and clear. “If you’re still talking about Christian, it’s over between us.”

His eyebrows drew together. “Well, if you’re okay with that, then I’m okay with it. But if you’re not, the woman I raised wouldn’t let her happiness go without a knockdown, drag-out fight.”

Just as her vision started to blur with tears again, her phone rang. She wiped the tears away and fished the phone out of her purse. “It’s Drew,” she said after checking the screen. She pressed the answer icon. “Hi, Drew. How are you?” She listened to him, then said “Great.” She ended the call and turned to her father.

“Well?” he said, gesturing with his hand for her to hurry up after she didn’t speak for a couple of seconds.

“Drew just agreed to become the newest member of the Dallas Stampede.” Elise tried to sound calm, but the last word came out as a full-fledged shriek. She pumped her fists as joy swept through her body. All her hard work had paid off. She’d made the big splash she’d wanted to make as the general manager of a professional sports franchise. She leaped into her father’s waiting arms, and he squeezed her as tightly as he’d done when she was a little girl. “We did it, Dad.”

“No, sweetie, you did it all on your own,” he said, his voice gruff. “I’m so proud of what you’ve accomplished, but most importantly, I’m proud to call you my daughter.”

They shared a celebratory glass of wine on the plane ride back to Dallas. While her father opened his laptop to answer some emails, Elise turned to stare out the window. Her dreams were coming true. She should still be riding the high of her accomplishment. But she wasn’t. How could she be when the person who had most believed in her wasn’t there to celebrate with her? How could she be when he wasn’t there because she’d pushed him away?

When they arrived at the airport, she said good-bye to her father and made the trip back to her house. Her empty house. Sterile like it had been before Christian entered her life with his questions, his video camera, his sister’s pies, oil from his cars on his hands, and his quiet support and silly pick-up lines. She missed it all.

She missed him.

Dropping to her couch, Elise buried her face in her hands. Her dad was right. All the success in the world meant nothing if the person she loved wasn’t there to share it with her. And she did love Christian. So much it hurt.

Why had it taken her losing him to realize it? Did it even matter? She’d walked alone for so long, closing herself off to human companionship, that she didn’t know if she could ever veer from that well-worn path that offered no unwelcome surprises but also no overwhelming joy like she experienced when she was with him.

Even if she could change her path, would Christian want her back?

Chapter Sixteen

Christian was a masochist. That was the only reasonable explanation for what he was doing. Why else would he be watching the footage he’d shot of Elise over and over?

Oh, he had a reason for watching the video. He needed to edit it before he sent it to NBA TV. Too bad he couldn’t concentrate on the action on the screen. All he saw was Elise’s beautiful face. And yet he couldn’t turn off the feed. Classic masochistic behavior.

He missed Elise. He could admit that to himself. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t get over her. He just needed to give it time.

Laughter,
Elise’s
laughter, caught his attention. He stared at the screen, transfixed. Her head was thrown back, and her shoulders were shaking. He couldn’t stop a grin from spreading across his face. They’d had some good times. Some damned good times. Acknowledging that was fine because it was the truth. That didn’t change the fact that they were fundamentally incompatible. No matter how good they were together. No matter how good he felt when he was with her.

No. Christian shook his head. He couldn’t, wouldn’t think about that now. He had work to do.

Christian fast forwarded the footage. There she was again, answering one of his many questions. Intelligent, stunning, and elegant as always. He’d pushed hard to get her to open up, but she’d done it. Had he ever given her full credit for that? Or had he just accepted it as his due as a filmmaker? He didn’t know. It didn’t matter at this point anyway. Not after everything they’d said to each other.

Shit. Hadn’t he just told himself to get to work and stop obsessing about his failed relationship, fling, whatever it was?

By sheer force of will, he pushed the endless loop of questions out of his brain and got to work. As he put together the footage of a life in the week of Elise Templeton, the pride and happiness he felt for her welled inside him. She’d faced challenges but had never given up.

Because she loved what she did. Going to work in the morning was a pleasure for her. She looked forward to the challenges and forging new paths for herself and the Stampede.

He’d done nothing but question her on her commitment. Was he crazy?

Christian closed his eyes and shook his head in disgust. No, he wasn’t crazy. But he was guilty of filtering her experiences through his own reality, and that wasn’t fair.

He would always believe work shouldn’t overtake your life, but he also believed you should do what you loved, and Elise loved being the general manager of the Stampede. Were there times when she could slow down for her own benefit? Yes, but she’d done that on several occasions, like honoring her pledge to come to his school’s career day. She’d been there for him when he needed her as he worked through his issues with Mack.

In return, all he’d done was ask for more and expect her to conform to his ideal.

Maybe she wasn’t head over heels in love with him, but she’d let down her guard and had given him what she was ready to give.

Maybe if he hadn’t pushed so hard for more, so suddenly, what they’d had could have grown into something more on its own.

He clenched his hand into a fist. He was a jackass. A world-class jackass. He didn’t deserve Elise. He’d been so scared of falling back into his old lifestyle that he’d failed to see that he couldn’t live his life scared of what might happen. Or force someone to share his fears.

So he was a jackass. That was the easy part to face. More importantly, what was he going to do to win her back? Because he would. He had no other choice if his life was going to be worth a damn.

…

Elise looked out into the crowd full of reporters ready and willing to write stories about her first major acquisition as the Stampede general manager. This was the moment she’d been waiting for since accepting the position. The moment of public validation. The moment when people acknowledged she was here because she had the skill and the talent to get the job done, not because of her parentage or some publicity stunt designed to keep the team’s name in the press.

This was her shining moment, and yet she couldn’t completely shake the misery that dogged her steps. She’d gotten so used to Christian being there filming her, pushing her to answer questions she hadn’t wanted to answer. Being Christian. Not settling for crumbs. He’d wanted to get to know her, the real her, and he’d done it. And she was better for it. She’d let someone in for the first time in twenty years. And she missed him. So, so much.

She stepped up to the podium, smile in place, determined to put her melancholy aside and do her job. “Thank you all for coming today. As much as I’d like to stun you with my news, in this media age we live in, that’s not possible. But I am the first person to officially announce that Drew Newsome has agreed to become the newest member of the Dallas Stampede.” She nodded to the man sitting to her right. “Welcome, Drew.”

Team reps and other players who filled the room applauded. She basked in their approval. She’d taken a risk, gone after a player that everyone said was unattainable, and she’d made it happen. “Drew is one of the best small forwards in the league. He makes us instantly better. This is a fantastic moment for the Stampede, our fans, and the city of Dallas.”

She exchanged a brief glance with her father, who was sitting to her left. The look of pride on his face almost undid her. She turned back to the audience. “I’ll open the floor to questions.”

“What made you think you could sign him when most people assumed he would stay with his former team or go play in New York?” a reporter from a local TV news station asked.

“Drew has a hunger to win, a hunger matched by everyone in the Stampede organization,” she said. “We’re not a franchise content to rest on our laurels. One championship trophy is not nearly enough. We want as many as can fit in this building and the best way to do that is to acquire the best players possible.”

“Drew, why Dallas?” another reporter asked.

Drew let out a small chuckle and leaned closer to his microphone. “Why not Dallas? They have everything I want. I want to play for a coach who’ll make me better. I want to play with teammates like Brady Hudson who’ll make me better. I want to play for an organization that knows how to win championships. Dallas fits the bill in all areas.”

“Drew, were you concerned about Elise?” the same reporter asked.

The basketball player shook his head. “I think you’re trying to ask me if I’m a sexist, and the answer is no. Being male doesn’t grant you special knowledge about the game of basketball. In my interactions with Elise, she’s never shown herself to be anything other than smart, dedicated, compassionate, and knowledgeable. That’s all any player can hope for with his general manager. Players don’t determine who the coach is or who their teammates are. General managers do. If she could convince me to leave my home state for the first time in my career by being compassionate and understanding what was most important to me, then I have no doubt that she can do whatever she sets her mind to do.”

His unequivocal, public support warmed her heart. Some of the audience members were the same people who’d written articles and gone on sports radio talk shows to express their “concern,” as they’d put it, that she could get the job done. She wasn’t above feeling satisfaction—okay, and a tiny bit of smugness—that she’d proved them wrong. Like it or not, she was here to stay.

Another reporter spoke up. “Elise, we heard the NBA was filming you for a documentary. Have you seen the footage?”

The reminder of everything she’d lost hit her square in the chest, but she made sure her smile didn’t dip. “Not yet, but I’m curious to see how it all came together. I think it’ll be good. Fans will get to see exactly what I do and who I am. That kind of transparency benefits everyone.”

After the press conference, Elise excused herself and went back to her office. She stopped inside the door. Something was off. She couldn’t tell what, but she sensed it. Then she saw it. A DVD case lay on her desk. Drawn by the handwritten note taped to the case, she headed for her desk. Christian’s handwriting. She froze. Had he been there? So close? On unsteady legs, she took the last two steps to reach her desk and picked up the case.

The note said, “Watch me. Please.”

She rounded her desk and dropped into her chair. With shaking fingers, she inserted the disc into her computer’s DVD drive. There she was on the screen. Christian had been hard at work. His talent became immediately evident. Even though this was her life, he still took her on a tension-filled ride. Would her first free agency period as a GM end in triumph or embarrassment? Her doubts, her dreams, they were all there.

The screen went dark. She started to eject the disc, but a second later the screen lightened. A message appeared on the screen.

That’s the Elise the public knows. The badass general manager of the Dallas Stampede. This is the Elise I know.

Outtakes. A shot of her dancing in the office before going to meet Drew at the airport for his visit. Another of her eating Chinese food straight from the container while intently watching footage of a player she was considering signing. One of her happily kicking her shoes off after a meeting and burying her feet in the carpet.

The screen went blank again. She held her breath, waiting for another message to appear. Instead, Christian’s voice came from the computer.

“This is the Elise I know. She loves what she does. She knows how to laugh and have a good time. She works harder for something she believes in than anyone I’ve ever known. She never gives up in the face of adversity. She deserves every good thing that’s ever happened to her and every good thing that will happen to her in the future.”

Elise could barely pay attention to what he was saying. Not when she was bawling like a baby. How could he do this to her? How could he make her remember all the good times they’d shared when there was no guarantee they would have more?

A creaking noise caught her attention. Her head jerked up. Christian stood at the door. “Hi.”

Thank God she was already sitting down. No doubt she would have collapsed to the floor in a completely undignified heap otherwise. It took her a few seconds to respond. “Hi.”

“You watched the video.”

She wiped the tears away. “What gave it away? The mascara streaming down my face?”

His lips, as gorgeous as ever, split into a small smile. “Pretty much.”

“It’s your fault. You did a great job.”

Christian came closer, stopping a few feet away from her desk. “You make a fascinating subject. Watching that will make everyone root for you. Showcasing your greatness was the easy part.”

She studied every inch of his handsome face, wanting to commit it to memory. “What was the hard part?”

“Trying to convey how much you mean to me.” His sincerity was plain to see on his face and in his tone.

Hope, ever cautious, began to bloom in her heart. She waited for him to say more. Instead, he turned away, gripping the back of his neck. “Christian?”

He faced her again, anguish now dominating his expression. “I was the biggest jackass to you, and I don’t deserve you or your forgiveness, but I’m asking for it anyway.” He came to her then. Grasped her hand, pulled her out of her chair, and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I love you with all of my heart.”

Her knees buckled at the admission. “You…l-love me?”

Christian drew her closer. “I know that probably scares you. Commitment isn’t easy for you. I’m not going to push you, but I’m hoping you’ll be willing to try again. We can go as slowly as you want.” He stepped back and gazed directly into her eyes. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I said all those terrible things. I was so focused on what I thought was right that I forgot we’re different people. Just because your path is different from mine doesn’t mean it’s wrong. I hope you can forgive me.

“Editing that footage was the best thing I could’ve possibly done,” he continued. “It made me see how stupid I was. I was telling you to make sure your career doesn’t take over your life, but I failed to realize that your career gives you a joy that my old job never did. You genuinely love your work, and you thrive in it in a way that I never did, and I failed to give you credit for knowing your own mind. You love the challenge of running a team, and if a relationship has to take a backseat to that now, it’s okay.”

Elise laid a hand against his chest and looked up at him, her lips curving into a smile. “Thank you for understanding. But you’re not the only one who learned something over the past few days. You taught me that I need to live a life that I want to live, not the one I think I should live.”

His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

She took a deep breath. “I let down my walls with you, something I haven’t done with anyone since my mom died. I didn’t want to deal with the pain that could come from caring about someone, but you refused to let me hide.”

He grinned. “I can be a pain.”

Elise smiled. “Well, yeah, but I needed the reminder that work isn’t everything. I do love my job, but it’s not the only important thing in my life. My relationships are even more important. My father and I are a team. Communicating with him about my frustrations and fears is the way to succeed. He and I both learned that lesson.”

Christian shook his head. “You really are the smartest person I know. You’ve been trying to drum something into my head, but I was so stubborn. I get it now, though.”

Her brow wrinkled. “Get what?”

“Perfection is impossible. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy or deserve happiness. We don’t have to live life a certain way to be happy. You say I gave you the courage to talk to your father about your relationship with him, but you gave me the courage to admit that I wanted to move forward with Mack and leave the anger behind.”

Elise flinched. “I’m sorry I got so caught in my own drama that I wasn’t there for you after you interviewed him.”

“I know.” Christian pressed a kiss to her forehead. “We make mistakes. I certainly do. I’m sorry I didn’t fully appreciate that there wouldn’t have been an interview and possible reconciliation without you. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me.”