The Debt & the Doormat (30 page)

‘Really?’ Julie asks carefully.  ‘What's it called?’

I look at Jazz hoping she can pull this off.

‘Oh, it's...the best title ever.  It’s called ‘The Stolen Vase of Dreams.’

They stare back at us and this time I think they’re considering calling the police. 

‘My hands are glued to the vase,’ I say, admitting defeat.

Jazz looks at me hysterically.  ‘Ha ha!  How funny!  Another part of the play.  Ok, now cut Poppy.  We don't want to give the whole play away!’

‘No Jazz, I mean it.  We’re not getting out of this.  I’m so sorry, but I broke your vase.’

*
                            *                            *

I really do think calling the police was a tad dramatic.  I mean, it was clearly an accident.  Although, it didn’t look too good when the policeman said we’d just received a caution a couple of weeks ago.  Mr and Mrs Clennel thought we were some kind of criminals that stole vases from unsuspecting couples.  Even when I explained that it had been a fire, not a robbery, they didn’t seem to relent.  God I hate the middle class.  Although I suppose in hindsight, Jazz shouting ‘I’m not going back to that place!’ hysterically didn’t look good.  Anyway, thankfully the policeman saw that it was all a bit of an embarrassing situation and let us go.  Well, after we’d soaked my hands in hot water with fairy liquid for half an hour.  I think I even saw him giggle.  It’ll probably be a great story at the station by tonight.

As I put the key in the lock I’m pleased to hear no noise.  Thank God, they must all be out.  I walk towards the kitchen and dump my bag down, flipping the kettle to boil.

‘Hey Pops.  I’ll have a tea thanks,’ Ryan shouts from the sofa.  Shit.

‘OK,’ I say in a strangled voice. 

I make the tea, finding a china cup with a scary looking clown on the side for myself, my hands now shaking and carry them in towards him.  My hands are shaking so much I struggle not to spill it on the carpet.  Get a hold of yourself, Poppy.  It's only Ryan.  Delicious Ryan.  I hope Izzy and Grace are in there with him but have decided to take a pledge of silence.  The awkwardness is killing me. When I turn the corner, I nearly drop it.  He’s just so pretty.  He literally takes my breath away every single time I see him.  It's like I’ve been deprived of him and that first glimpse is how I imagine a heroin addict is when they get their next hit. 

He smiles his devastating smile, his lips twisting to one side and sits up from lying on the sofa.

‘So how was your day?’ I ask, trying to sound like a normal friendly housemate.  I congratulated myself for managing to talk without my voice cracking or trembling.

‘Yeah really good actually.’

I hate how he never elaborates. 

‘OK....anything else you want to say on the subject?’ I say, my mouth twisting with an urge to giggle.

‘No.  That's about it,’ he smiles with a glint in his eye.

I take a sip of my tea and think desperately for something to say.  But the atmosphere.  My God – it's so electric!  I can barely sit still. 

‘Are Izzy and Grace out?’

‘Yeah I think so,’ he says, his eyes glued to the TV.

‘So...you don't actually know.’

‘Nope,’ he says, his voice flat and uninterested.  ‘Anyway, you look tense.  What's wrong?’

‘Do I?’ I shriek a little too loudly.  ‘Oh, no, I’m fine.  Absolutely fine.  Totally fine.’

Perhaps too many fines in that answer.  I almost put my hand to my mouth to shut myself up.

‘So wait,’ he says, turning seriously to me.  ‘Are you...fine?’ he asks, a mocking smile on his face.

‘Shut up!’ I hit him on the arm playfully.

‘Aah!  Aaah!’ he cries as his tea spills all over his arm.

‘Shit sorry!’  I jump up.  ‘Quick, give me the mug and I’ll help you clean up.’  I clasp at the mug.

‘No, its OK,’ he says, flicking his hand around to get the tea off.

‘No really, just give it to me,’ I say grabbing his mug a bit more forcibly.

‘No.  Poppy, stop!’

But it's too late.  The cup flies back at him and the remaining tea slops out onto his crotch.  His fucking crotch!

‘Fuck!  For fucks sake!’ he screams as he jumps up, his tracksuit bottoms soaked through.

‘Sorry!  Shit, I’m so sorry!’ 

I want to kill myself.

‘Don't worry,’ he says, his lips pressed into a hard line, all signs of humour gone.  ‘Just get me something will you?’

‘A biscuit?’ I blurt out.

He glares at me.  ‘No, of course not.  A tea towel,’ he says frostily.

‘Oh yeah.  Obviously.’

I should physically kick myself.  What an idiot.

‘You know what, don't worry.  I’ll go get changed.’  He walks out of the kitchen.

‘OK.  Sorry...again.’

I hear him walk up the stairs and I hit myself several times on the head.  I try to clean up, dabbing the stains on the sofa with a tea towel.  Luckily this sofa wouldn’t have won any beauty contests before anyway.

The front door slams and Izzy’s giggles echo through the hallway. 

‘Come on through,’ she shrieks, sounding half cut.  ‘Hey Pops,’ she sings, skipping into the kitchen with a short dark haired guy on her arm.  ‘This is Greg.’

‘Hey,’ he nods.

Grace is the next to come in with another short guy, but this one has golden hair and is much better looking.  She obviously called dibs.  They all look thoroughly pissed, Izzy smiling from ear to ear, her forehead shiny.  Grace still looks like she could have just walked off the catwalk, although her actual walk is a bit wobbly. 

‘Good night then?’ I ask, feeling rather nervous at how drunk they are.  I mean, it's only 8.30pm.  How could they already be this drunk?

‘Oh Pops, we had an awesome night, you should have come,’ Izzy says, sitting on the floor cross legged. 

You’d had to have invited me.

‘Wine?’ Grace says, giving each of them a glass out of the cupboard and pouring it to the top.  ‘Oops, we’ve done the bottle.’  She lets out a little seductive giggle. 

The man with the golden hair seems captivated by her.  I don't blame him.  Even I find myself not being able to look away from her in her skin tight red dress. 

‘Hey girls,’ Ryan says, walking in with new tracksuit bottoms on.

‘Hey Ry Ry,’ Grace purrs pouting her lips towards him.

Ry Ry?  What the hell?  He gives her a strange look and catches me looking at them.  I quickly look away and try to look uninterested.

Grace holds the empty bottle above her head and for a second I think she's actually going to drop it on the floor.

‘I know.  Who fancies a game of spin the bottle?’ she smirks.

It's my worst nightmare.  I’m a gangly thirteen year old with braces again.  I thought I was safe from this game now I was an adult.

‘Yay!’ Izzy shouts, spilling some of her wine on the carpet.

‘What do you think?’ Ryan says to me, a mischievous smile on his face.

‘I don't know,’ I say hoping someone will come up with an idea to play twister instead.

‘Oh come on Pops, it’ll be fun,’ Izzy wails.

‘Yeah, come on Poppy.  Don't be such a spoil sport,’ Grace says, her words cutting me like glass as she holds my stare.

‘O...kay,’ I finally spit out.

We all instinctively sit on the floor, my palms already sweaty from the panic.  I sit in between Izzy and the golden haired man, who still hasn’t been introduced to me.  I hope my breath is fresh.  I probably still smell of tea.  I hope I don't get picked.  Is it too late to back out of this?

Grace spins the bottle and I wipe my sweaty forehead, trying not to look as nervous as I feel.

‘Greg!’ they all sing. 

Greg picks the bottle up, smiling at Izzy, who it's obvious he wants it to land on.  He spins the bottle again and it begins to slow down, painfully slow.  I hold my breath, begging it to keep going.  It finally stops, pointing at me.  Of course.  I shift slightly in my seat, hoping that someone will agree it's Izzy, not me. 

‘Poppy!’ Izzy sings.  ‘Poppy and Greg!’

I look up at him and my stomach does a nervous flip.  I can't be rude and refuse the kiss, but I really don't want to kiss this guy.  As I look at him closer I realise his lips are chapped.  Ugh!  I don't want those lips cutting mine to shreds. 

I glance round at everyone else wondering if they’ll agree that was just a practise run.  Ryan is looking at Greg a bit strangely.  Could it be jealousy?  No, it can't be, it's probably just sympathy.  Pity that the poor guy has to kiss me.  I really don't want to kiss him, but what can I say?  Sorry everyone, but I’m secretly in love with Ryan.  I don't think so.

I take a deep breath and slowly lean forward into the circle, almost crawling like a dog towards him.  He leans in eagerly and I try not to grimace as I catch a whiff of his breath, a mix of beer and wine.  I decide to just take the initiative and get it over and done with.  I quickly peck him on the lips and then sit back, smoothing my hair back self-consciously.

‘What?’ Grace says shortly.  ‘That's not a kiss.  I want a real kiss, tongues and all.’  Her expression is stern.

‘Yeah, come on, a proper kiss!’ Izzy wails clapping her hands.

I look back at him and he looks embarrassed too.  At least it's not just me living this nightmare.  I lean into him again, but this time I catch Ryan staring at me, which makes me all the more nervous.  He looks away quickly when he sees me notice him.  This time I decide to just place my face in front of him and close my eyes.

His lips plunge onto me, forcing my lips open so that he can caress my tongue, it rolling sloppily around my mouth.  There’s so much tongue in my mouth I struggle to breathe.  How long is this tongue?  I know they said they wanted a proper kiss, but this is a bit ridiculous.  I lean back, trying to retract myself, but he leans back with me.  I lean back even further, to the point where I’m almost lying down on my back, but he’s still raping my mouth.  I put my hands up to his chest to try and push him softly off me but he seems to think I’m trying to encourage him and kisses harder, darting his tongue like an angry pecking bird. 

He finally sets me free and when I open my eyes, to remove the remaining slobber I seem to have on my chin, I notice that Ryan’s hand is on Greg’s shoulder pulling him back.

‘That's enough,’ Ryan says protectively.

Thank God someone saved me.

‘Sorry dude.  I didn’t realise you two were dating,’ Greg says.

I look at Ryan, my cheeks beginning to burn, but he looks away and goes back to his seat.

‘We’re not,’ Ryan says flatly, staring at the floor.

‘Oh,’ Greg says, darting his eyes between us both confused. 

Everyone seems to have gone silent as they watch this scene play out.  God, the awkwardness is too awful.  Someone say something – PLEASE!

‘God, awkward turtle,’ I say, doing my turtle tongue.

Five horrified faces stare back at me as if I’ve just told them I shag sheep. 

‘What?’ I ask, my cheeks going even redder.

‘Awkward turtle?’ Ryan says, biting his lip to stop a smile which is quickly spreading on his face.

‘Yeah.  Have you never heard of that expression?’

I can't believe they haven’t heard it.  They’re the mental ones. 

‘I can honestly say I have never heard anyone say “awkward turtle”,’ Grace says, looking smug and superior.

‘Oh...well, maybe it's just something my family say then,’ I say attempting a laugh.

‘Who’re your family?  The Hillbillies?’ Grace snorts.

‘No!’ I say, my voice barely audible.  I feel so hurt and humiliated that tears are threatening to break from behind my eyes. 

Do not cry.  Do not cry.

‘Right, whose go is it now?’ I ask desperate to break the silence.

I grab the bottle and spin it quickly, ignoring the stares.  It lands on Grace first and then Izzy.  I think they’re going to decline but then they start making out in front of us all, their hands exploring each other’s bodies.  It's almost like soft porn.  I’m so astonished, there are no words.  The guy’s mouths are all open as they watch with curiosity, probably nursing hard ons that could cut ice.

‘Wow, I didn’t think you were gonna do it,’ I say, still startled when they come up for air.

‘That's spin the bottle, baby.  You get who you get.  And besides, Gracie’s always been a good kisser,’ Izzy says, winking at her.

Who’d have known it?  I’m living with a pair of lesbians. 

Izzy spins the bottle and this time it lands on Ryan.  He rolls his eyes, as if he’s far too cool for any of this.  Grace suddenly sits up and takes notice, pursing her lips together.  She must be desperate for it to stop on her.  Probably creaming her knickers already. 

I however, would rather it didn’t land on me.  I’m still confused by the other nights kiss, let alone anything else.  I think anything else would just push me over the edge and I’d explode.