The Deception series boxset: FaCade, Cadence, Beneath Innocence (38 page)

“Really?”

“What the fuck, Cade? Where the hell have you been since evolution? What the hell did you think the engagement ring symbolized?”

“Well.” I shrugged, grabbing onto the bar when my ass slid slightly off the stool. “Eternal love. You know, no end.”

His jaw dropped as he stared at me. A bark of laughter spluttered from him. “Shit man, that’s the religious ex . . . explanation.” He burped loudly, rubbing his chest. “To the non-religious.” His finger moved to and fro between us. “It means an eye for an eye.”

“But I don’t want her eye. I want between her thighs right now. I want to own her fucking heart like she does mine.”

He rolled his eyes. “Freaking hell, you thick shit. It’s a meteorfall.”

“A what?”

“A meteorfall. You know, one of those comparison things. A sim . . . simil. . . . simile. A meteorfall!” He gave me a firm nod, this time with a bit of a wobble.

“You fucking dick, that’s a metaphor!”

“Yeah. That’s what I said! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

I shrugged. “I’m not drunk enough to make sense of your crap.”

“My crap is serious crap, man. You know I’m right. You just hate it when you know you’re not as slick as me!”

I laughed loudly, kicking my foot out and catching his leg. “How many times have I told you to stop smoking that shit?”

He smirked and I groaned when I knew what was coming. That one night at school would haunt me forever. Bastards!

“We both know who actually smokes shit!”

“Fuck off!”

He jigged about in his seat, barking loudly at me. “Your fucking face when the guys told you. You barfed your fucking guts up!”

I glared when he fell about in hysterics, his fist thumping the bar as he roared harder. “It stank, and you never freaking smelled it!”

“Fuck you!” I gagged, my mind replaying the assholes that had rolled dried dog shit and told me it was good stuff. Hell, it was my first joint, how the fuck was I supposed to know what it tasted like?

“You . . . you . . .” Tears streamed down his face as he pointed at me. “You smoked the lot. Jesus holy fuck!”

He didn’t laugh when I shoved him. His body teetered backwards in slow motion, his fingers clawing the bar in a useless grip as his legs rose in the air and he tipped backwards, landing on the floor with a hefty thump, an ‘oomph’ bursting from his lungs.

“Now who’s fucking slick?” I winked at him.

He sighed, looking up at me from the ground. “Blue left without a word again. I fucking hate her. I swear to God I’m done fucking that bitch, even if she has a magic pussy and lets me in the rear entry. Oh, and head. That woman sucks like she’s getting paid to do it.”

I checked my phone for the hundredth time, reading a message from Frank telling me my girl had cried herself to sleep. How did I end up here, off my face with my best friend, both of us pining for women who abandoned us?

“I’m going to fuck that stripper in the ass and tape it then send it to Blue!” Jenson announced waving her over. “You want me to buy you a lap dance?”

He should have known better than to ask that. No stripper pussy or ass wriggling up on me would do shit for me. I needed my girl. I’d give her tonight, but tomorrow if she wanted to be at her home I’d be there too.

“Hey,” the stripper said. “Oh, fuck. You’re the lead singer from Beneath Innocence!”

“My cock needs attention.”

“Oh my God. Come into one of the private rooms and I’ll take care of that for you.”

Lucky prick.

PULLING MY ROBE TIGHTER, I stared out of the kitchen window, appreciating the view. The poplars were thick now, their leaves a mass of green, their branches thick and powerful.

The kettle clicked off and I mindlessly filled my cup, wondering whether I could stomach milk with my coffee. After piling two heaped spoons of sugar in, I picked it up and walked out to the veranda, slowly lowering myself onto the top of the steps that led down to the garden.

Benny was doing an excellent job with the garden. It was full of color; a display of greenery and ornaments pleasing to the eye. My gaze settled on the small summerhouse at the bottom, my lips turning into a smile when I replayed some of my adventures with Cade in there.

It didn’t lift my heart, though. Nothing could.

I’d spent so much time at Cade’s house that my own home wasn’t mine anymore. It was a building that catered for me whenever we’d had an argument. That was all it was now. Another prison that would house my heartache.

For the first time in months I’d spent a night alone in my own bed. It was large, it was cold, and it broke my heart as I’d sobbed myself to sleep.

I didn’t know what to do. My eyes squeezed closed when Cade’s face came swimming into my vision, his hurt and pain when I’d told him I wanted to go home. I wanted nothing more than to curl into him and stay there until my heart forgot to beat. But I knew I would never have that again.

He’d always risked so much for me. His strength had held me up time and time again. Yet it was time to find my own strength to do what was needed. To let him go.

I jolted when Frank popped his head through the door to the house. “Faye.” I turned to him. “You okay?”

I sighed and lifted a brow. He nodded in understanding and came to join me, sitting beside me on the top step.

We both stared out for a while in silence, him with his coffee, me with mine. Although Frank worked for me, my ‘bodyguard’ as he liked to call himself, we were more like friends. He treated the house as his own and I couldn’t imagine my life without him.

“I guess the two guys sat out front aren’t yours.”

His lips twitched before he took a sip of his drink. “No flies on you, is there?”

“Nope. Should I offer them a drink? Invite them in for breakfast?”

He shrugged. “I’m sure they’re okay, it’s their job. They’re used to sitting in a car for hours.”

“Still, it can’t be nice.”

Frank sighed and I shifted, swallowing the sudden lump in my throat. “We gonna talk about Cade’s men all morning or are you gonna start telling me shit, lady?”

Okay, Frank had also taken on the role as father. And as much as I loved him for it, even he shouldn’t be witness to what was in my head.

“You know I love you Frank.” He nodded, but narrowed his eyes when I continued. “What happened between Dante and me, it stays between him and me. There is no one on this planet I would want to hurt with the truth of it all.”

He pursed his lips, shaking his head slightly as his gaze remained on the garden. “That may be. But there is only you on this planet that I hurt for.”

I saw the pain in his eyes, the worry lines that had appeared across his forehead. His heart was so large but there should be no room for me in it.

Taking his hand in my own, I squeezed it as I turned back to the garden. “And there is only me who isn’t worthy of it.”

“That’s your view,” he said as he dropped my hand and snaked it around my shoulder, pulling me into him until my head rested on his shoulder. “I have some idea what happened.” His body stiffened beneath me. “But you’re letting him win, Faye. You’re allowing him to rule you. You need to be strong now and take care of what you want. You need to put things on the table to Cade.”

I closed my eyes. “But I’m trying not to hurt him by doing this.”

“I know, and believe me, I understand. But Cade won’t back off, Faye. You know him. He will fight the fucking Devil for you.”

“That’s what I’m trying to keep him from.”

“Dante isn’t the Devil, he’s just a demon that needs to own things.”

A tear dribbled off my nose and I swiped at it. “I wasn’t talking about Dante,” I whispered. “I was talking about me.”

He paused, finally listening to me. “What do you mean?”

I pulled away, refusing to look at him. “It isn’t Dante that has the capability of burning Cade. It’s me, Frank. I’m the one who has the power to finish Cade. And that’s why I need to push him away.”

He regarded me, confusion written all over him. “Lady, I’m not . . .”

“And I’m not strong enough to explain, Frank. But you think, you all think I’m the victim in this!” I was growing angry, with myself, with Dante, even with Cade for refusing to accept what life was. “The only victim in this is Cade. The truth will crush him and I won’t allow that. I’m prepared to break my own heart to free the man’s that I love.”

Frank stared after me as I walked away.

“DELIVERY, MISS AVERY.”

“Has it been checked?”

“It has,” the crackly voice came through the speaker.

“Okay, come on up.” I pressed the button to the gate allowing Hanson, the designated mail guy, access to the house.

“Good morning, Miss Avery.” Hanson beamed at me when I opened the door. “It’s been a while since I’ve delivered anything here for you.”

I smiled back at him, taking his clipboard and signing on the dotted line.

“Are you back for a while?” he asked over his shoulder as he walked to his van and opened the back doors.

“I’m not sure. How are Maisie and the kids?” I asked as he leaned in and pulled out a few packages.

“They’re great, thank you. Sarah just got her first tooth.”

I smiled widely at him but it faltered when he pulled out a huge arrangement of flowers. Sensing my nerves he pulled a face and shrugged.

“You and Mr. Troy not so . . .” His sheepish smile dropped. “Sorry, it just says the flowers came from Mr. Troy, so I presumed things weren’t going so great, especially since you’re back home.” He lifted a hand and nodded respectfully as he handed me the bunch. “But that is none of my business. I’m sorry.” He walked back to the van and pulled the door open. “Have a good day.”

I nodded, giving him a smile as I went back into the house and closed the door behind me.

I couldn’t help but bury my face in the enormous arrangement and inhale deeply. Gerberas, my favorite, in a variety of colors. They brought a much needed smile, although it seemed wrong, enjoying the simplicity of them. Cade had always been hyper aware of my mood and what I needed. The pure beauty of these simple flowers was it this morning.

I placed them on the dresser and pulled open the card.

I gritted my teeth at the rage that coursed through me. Taking the flowers, I smashed them to the floor and stomped on them like a sulky four year old, my foot crushing the delicate petals, my screams destroying what I thought they were.