The Deception series boxset: FaCade, Cadence, Beneath Innocence (42 page)

I KNEW AS SOON AS I opened the door to Frank that she had gone. His eyes told me. So did the anger radiating from him. He remained silent as he moved past me.

“When?” I flinched as my voice broke and I squeezed my eyes closed to contain the desolation. I kept my back to him so he couldn’t see it take me.

“Last night. I found this.”

I turned to him, my eyes falling on the long cream envelope in his hand. I focused on the scrawl of my name, the ‘e’ smudged where one of her tears had drowned the ink.

I was struggling to hold it together, my irregular heartbeat fighting with the brisk pull of my lungs. Sweat dampened the back of my neck when I reached for the envelope. His eyes clashed with mine. “Don’t pity me, Frank!”

He sighed and nodded, wisely deciding against argument, then turned and walked into the kitchen, leaving me alone as I stared at the envelope.

I pressed my thumb into the wrinkled part of paper that held her teardrop, my heart breaking with the evidence of her own heartbreak.

I heard Jenson come bounding into the apartment as I stepped into my bedroom. Slamming the door shut, warning him, I knew Frank would fill him in as I sat on the edge of the bed and opened her letter.

Cade,

I don’t know how to . . . this is so hard. Before I start, you need to know that I love you, with everything, with every single breath I take. You gave me life when I didn’t want to carry on, you held me up when I wanted to fall and you made my heart beat, as broken as it was. And it’s only you it will ever beat for again.

But you need to know that I’m dead now, Cade. To you. Forget me.

There’s much you don’t know and I never want you to know. I’m not the girl you fell in love with, and that’s the reason I’m doing this, to stop you from seeing the real me, the me that is so ruptured that no one, not even you will ever be able to fix. The me that you will never find it in your heart to forgive.

As much as it hurts me to say it, you need to be with someone who deserves you and the pureness of your heart. I’m tarnished and damaged now, so much so that I know the darkness in me will one day consume you, and I would never forgive myself for that. You have the biggest heart and it is worthy of a matching soul.

Although I’m not willing to say it, you know where I am. I know you don’t understand why, but you don’t need to, just accept this is how it is and move on with your life. But please, whatever you think of me, however much you hate me, please know that I will love you until the day my heart finally stops under the pain of losing you.

One day soon, Cade, I hope you can look through our memories and smile. Because if nothing else, the love we shared deserves that, deserves to be cherished as one that outnumbered all others on this fucking depraved planet.

I am so sorry, baby. So, so sorry.

I love you and every time my heart takes a beat you will be in my thoughts. You once told me I was the cadence in yours, well you’re the cadence in mine too. It’s only ever been you, Cade, but I need to go to him.

Don’t come for me.

Yours forever,

Faye

I folded the paper and slipped it back in the envelope, taking out the ring she had slipped in. It was so tiny it didn’t even fit onto my pinkie. It sparkled under the lights, reflecting the eyes of its owner.

It hit the mirror when I threw it, disappearing behind the dresser. The lamp on the bedside table followed it. Then the table. The pictures adorning the walls tore so easily. The spindles on the bedframe broke effortlessly in my grip. Her clothes in our wardrobe shredded like paper under my fury. The bedding that had once comforted us both ripped apart with my heart as feathers piled out onto the carpet. My screams left me as easily as the room tore apart under my heartache.

However, none of it matched the rip in my soul, the destruction of my heart or the rage that filled my veins. The obliteration of the room was nowhere near as messed up and broken as the annihilation happening inside me. Rage fueled me, anger forced my heart to beat and my wrath was the only emotion making my lungs take air. She went back to that animal.

I felt Jenson grab for me before he and Frank lifted me, both of them needing to hold me to stop my wrath as they carried me through to the bathroom and forced me into the shower. Only the sharp sting of cold water culd break the storm inside me.

Screams were the only thing that released the rage, my fists battering the tiles and smashing the ceramic as Jenson continued to grapple with me until I finally took a shuddering breath and allowed him to hold me.

My hands clawed at him as he took us to the floor and brought my body to his, his arms crushing me as he held onto me.

“Shush, buddy. Come on.” His voice was choked, his devastation for me at the hands of my brother as intense as my own grief.

I cried into him until I felt the ice creep in, and the numb beat of my heart and the slow regular breaths took control. I no longer lived. I existed. My heart only beat to keep me alive. My soul died. However, I didn’t need it to live. I didn’t need it to seek vengeance. On Dante. And on
her
for leaving me . . . again.

She would witness a side to me she never saw before. A side I had kept from her. And now, now she deserved to not only perceive it, she deserved to witness Dante take his last breath under it.

“GOOD MORNING!” DANTE CHIRPED WHEN I stepped in the dining room the following morning. I flicked him a glance and took the chair at the other end of the table.

He folded his newspaper precisely, placing it down beside him before standing and walking over to me. I flinched but he reached out, picking up the coffee pot and pouring the black liquid into a cup set on the table for me.

“It’s a glorious sunny morning, baby. I thought we might go onto the mainland and shop. I’m sure you’ll need some new toiletries and . . . personal items you didn’t bring.”

He added cream to my coffee and dropped in a small sugar cube.

“You need some color on your cheeks. The fresh air will do you good.”

I nodded, picking up my drink and taking a sip, not really tasting it but using it to soothe my dry throat.

“We’ll also find you an obstetrician. I know you’re not keen on Delia, although I must say, she comes in handy.”

I didn’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction, knowing that was what he was pushing for.

“I’ve been thinking of names.”

I took another sip of coffee, using it to camouflage the sharp snap of my teeth cracking under the force of my clenched jaw.

“Of course, we have to decide together, but I’m hoping we can agree.” In other words, Dante had chosen a name, end of. I nodded again, picking up a piece of toast from the rack and buttering. “What are you hoping for, boy or girl?”

I shrugged, taking a bite of my breakfast and forcing myself to chew.

“Oh, by the way,” he carried on, as though in the middle of an enthralling conversation. “We need to shop for a wedding dress. Three weeks today and you’re all mine!” With that, he turned and walked out of the room.

The toast fell from my fingers, landing butter side down on the plate. I stared at the burnt crust. Jelly would disguise the taste. I reached across for the small pots, my head tipping left and right as I tried to decide on strawberry or redcurrant. Smiling, I dipped the spoon into the strawberry and plopped it onto the toast, then reached for the redcurrant and scooped out a portion, plopping it beside the strawberry. Taking the small jar of marmalade, I shoveled a spoonful on top of the strawberry jelly and dropped a pile of apricot jelly onto the redcurrant.

Picking up the knife, I smeared it all together, creating a rainbow of preserve that mounded high. I smiled to myself knowing Dante had gone back to his study and was watching me with a frown on his stupid, beautiful face. I couldn’t decide on a flavor so why not have them all? Fuck everyone.

I took a huge bite. Then another. Only when the whole slice was devoured did I stand, place my napkin beside my plate and leave the breakfast table, passing the statue of Malik who was watching me the whole time with a raised brow.

“Cravings, what can I say?” I shrugged. Prick.

AS I WALKED INTO MY room after taking a shower, I found Dante sitting on my bed waiting for me. My fingers tightened around the top of the towel, holding it tight to me. His eyes dropped to where I was grasping tight.

“Lose it.”

I fought the tremble in my legs and uncurled my fingers, fixing my gaze on the wall over his head as the towel fell to the floor. His gaze scanned me slowly, his eyes heating as he took in every contour of my body. “They say Medusa used her beauty to enslave her conquests.”

I wanted to cry. But I wouldn’t allow him to see my pain.

He stood from the bed and slowly strode towards me, my body stiffening with each encroaching step. He placed a finger on my chin and directed my gaze to his face. “She was the most beautiful creature that men couldn’t deny. She lured them in.” He leaned into me, nuzzling his nose into the skin beneath my ear. “And then, when she had them hooked.” His fingers curled around my throat, his grasp harsh. “She turned them to stone.” He gave me a crooked smile. “You did that to me. But instead you turned my heart to stone. So you see, Belle, it’s your own beauty that made me this way.”

I gulped as his palm cupped between my legs, his thumb pressing against my clit, firing me up in preparation for him. I hated the way my body came alive for him. His ability to know how to please a woman turned me on time and time again despite my mind’s argument.

“Lay on the bed.” His voice was a whisper in my ear, the tone low but seductive, sending a message straight to my pussy. I wanted to deny him, sew myself shut and never let him near me again but I was tainted now anyway. He could have control of my body but my mind was mine. He underestimated me.

Begging him with my eyes, he ignored me and stepped aside, tilting his chin towards the bed. I closed my mind and did as he asked. I was tired. Tired of him, tired of fighting, tired of living this lie but it would end soon.

“Open your legs.”

Again, I did as he asked, shutting down, refusing him access to my mind.

“Look at me, Star.”

I moved my eyes to his face then dropped them to watch his fist enfold his erection. His cock was impressive, thick and long, the head glistening with his arousal. “You see how hard you make me, how deep my need is for you.”

I flicked my eyes to his. The raw passion in them told me ownership fed his lust, and now that he owned me, his body reacted to it.

Tipping his head to the side, his eyes trailed over my nakedness, his eyelids heavy with desire and a small sigh leaving him when his gaze settled between my legs. Leaning forward, he slid his hand between my thighs and cupped me, his forefinger circling my entrance, dipping in and out occasionally.

“You see?” He smirked. “Whoever
you
think owns you, we both know the truth.”

I squirmed, turning my head away from him when he slid a finger inside as he flicked my clit with his thumb, sending shockwaves of pleasure and lust through me.

It’s Cade.

It’s Cade.

It’s Cade.