The Definition of Icing: A Dallas Demons Hockey Romance (Dallas Demons Series) (21 page)

Chapter 29

Glaze: A glossy coating for food — Kenley

“That’s the end of the Second Period, with your Dallas Demons leading the Baltimore Blades 1-0,” the PA announcer says.

I exhale in my seat in the private suite Nate has rented for his family tonight at the Premier Airlines Arena. So far, the only score in the game is from the Demons’ second line, and the Blades have played a very physical game. Nate took a stick up to the face right before the period ended, and on the Jumbotron I saw a cut underneath his left eye that the Demons’ trainers were attending to on the bench.

“Were you holding your breath?” Mr. Johansson asks.

I smile at the amused expression on his face. “I guess I was. It’s hard for me to see him get hit.”

“Nate’s tough,” Mrs. Johansson adds. “Don’t worry about him.”

“You’ll get used to it,” Mr. Johansson adds. “Most of the time it’s not serious.”

I can’t imagine ever getting used to seeing Nate get injured or slammed into the boards, but I know I need to.

Because I hope with all my heart to marry this man one day, and this is part of his life.

Which means hockey—and its dangers—will be a part of my life, too.

“I’m going to get a drink,” Holly announces. “Does anybody need anything?”

Everyone says they are good, and I watch as Holly goes to the kitchen part of the suite. I had ordered dinner for us, and an assortment of beers, wines, and soft drinks, too.

Now I can talk to her alone
, I think as she picks up a Coke.
Now is the time to make an inroad with her.

“Excuse me,” I say to Nate’s family, “I’ll be right back.”

I move to the back of the suite and stand next to Holly. I reach for a plastic cup with a Dallas Demons logo on it and fill it with ice.

“Holly?” I ask.

Holly shifts her gaze to me. “Yeah?”

“I know you have reservations about me,” I say, getting straight to the point. “But I want to assure you that I care about Nate. I will never, ever hurt him, you have my word on that.”

If she’s surprised by my bluntness, she doesn’t show it.

Holly puts down her Coke and gives me her full attention. “I’ve heard this before, you know. From
Megan.
”

I set my cup on the countertop. “I’m not Megan.”

“I know you’re not,” Holly says firmly. “But you’re another beautiful woman who has entered Nate’s life, another one who has him wrapped around her finger. I’m sorry, I really am, but I’m going to be painfully honest with you. How can he possibly be ready to be with you when he’s still getting over Megan? It’s what, October? He was destroyed in
April,
Kenley.
Destroyed.
And suddenly he’s over that and the love he had for Megan?”

I shake my head. “He’s not in love with Megan anymore.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s in love with you, either.”

My stomach tightens with that accusation. After all, Nate hasn’t said those words to me.

And he might not be in love with you in that way,
my heart whispers.

“I mean, if he is, why hasn’t he said that to us? Unless he hasn’t said that to you yet,” Holly says slowly, sounding like she’s compiling evidence for her case.

My stomach lurches further as she hits the nail on the head. But I refuse to overthink this. I know what Nate feels, even if he hasn’t said it. I’m right this time. I am.

“I know what we have,” I say with resolve, shoving my doubts out of my head. “And I know how I feel about Nate.”

“Megan assured us of the same thing,” Holly counters. “She had all of us fooled. She was nothing more than a husband-hunting Puck Slut, who set her sights on Patrick once he was out of his relationship.”

“Is that what you think I am?” I ask. “Another pretty Puck Slut looking for a husband?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Oh, you just did.”

I glance over at his family, who luckily can’t hear us over the loud PA system. Then I give my full attention to Holly.

“I appreciate the fact that you love Nate so much. I love my sister the same way,” I say, my voice firm. “But you don’t know me. You don’t know what I have with Nate.”

“What you’re ignoring,” Holly says, her voice taking on an edge, “is how well I
know
my brother. We tell each other
everything.
He fell for Megan hard and fast, and I knew what he was thinking each step of the way because he
told
me. If he’s truly in love with you, Kenley, why don’t I hear these things from him?”

A twinge of doubt ripples through me. But then I think of Nate, of what we have, and I refuse to let insecurity enter into my heart.

“Did you ever think Nate is approaching this differently because of what happened with Megan?” I ask. “You know better than anyone how devastated he was. How his heart was torn apart. How he vowed never to let anyone inside again. Holly, he’s approached our relationship differently because of that. And that might even include what he tells you.”

Then I see it. For the first time, I see Holly is considering what I’m saying. Her face softens for a moment.

But then her eyes grow intense again.

“I don’t think he would change what he tells me,” Holly says defiantly. “And you have no idea how much he loved Megan. Sure, he’s talked about you, Kenley. But not like how he talked about Megan. He incorporated her into the life of the team and his family immediately because he was so in love with her. And I don’t see that with you. And I know that has to be because he has doubts about you.”

I feel as though she has landed a physical punch, as the WAGS suite flashes through my mind again. So Megan was in the suite with the other Black Bears wives and girlfriends immediately, but he has elected to keep me away from the Demons’ WAGS?

No. There’s a reason Nate is treating our relationship differently. I know there must be, and I don’t believe it has anything to do with Nate having doubts about me.

“Nate has his reasons for approaching us differently,” I say firmly. “Because I’m not Megan. I’m not a carbon copy of her. And I will never, ever, cheat on your brother or hurt him in any other way.”

“I’ve heard this before!” Holly hisses, anger plainly visible on her beautiful face. “Megan came into our lives, all sunshine and light and taking me shopping and wanting to read my manuscripts. She stood in our kitchen and made cookies with my mom at Christmas. She joked with my dad and calling him her ‘other father.’ Megan acted like Nate was her world, and he hung on her every word. We made her a part of our
family.
And then she crushed all of us with betrayal. I won’t have this happen to us again, I won’t!”

Holly’s words hit me full force. This isn’t only about Nate. It’s about Holly becoming attached to Megan, and feeling the betrayal on her own personal level, too.

“I’m not Megan,” I say firmly. “And if you need me to repeat it a thousand times I will. I’m
Kenley.
I’m not another beautiful woman trying to latch on to your brother’s fame or his wallet. And I know the betrayal you feel in your heart because my father cheated on my mother. The last thing I would ever do on earth is inflict that kind of pain on another family.”

Holly’s eyes widen, and I see a shocked expression pass over her face.

“What . . . you’ve been through this?”

I swallow hard before continuing. “My parents’ marriage ended over an affair. So yes, I’ve been through the fallout from cheating, Holly. And I would never,
ever
do that to another human being, let alone
Nate.
”

Now Holly looks as though she’s been punched. And with the haunted expression in her eyes, I know she’s seeing
me,
the inside me. Not the exterior Kenley, the beautiful blond who has appeared in her brother’s life, but Kenley, the woman whose family fell apart because of cheating, the woman who has suffered the same pain that she has.

“But even if my family hadn’t broken up over an affair, I wouldn’t do that,” I say softly, continuing. “I couldn’t do that because I care about Nate so much.”

Holly continues to stare at me, but the anger is gone. I can tell she’s viewing me with new eyes.

“Your brother,” I say, my voice thick with emotion, “is the one man, the only man, who has ever seen past my exterior to find the real me. I’ve been betrayed in the past, by a man who lied to me. And I was devastated. Like Nate, I threw up a wall to keep people out. I didn’t want anyone in my life, but then here comes your brother, and suddenly I’m rethinking everything.

“And do you know why?” I say, continuing. “Because the more I got to know him, I realized how special he is. And I fell for him. Not Nate Johansson, the wealthy, famous athlete. I fell for Nate Johansson, the
man.
And he fell for the person I am on the inside, too. And while he might not share everything with you as he had before, I’m sure it’s because of what happened in his past.”

I notice Holly’s eyes have filled with tears. I feel my own eyes well up.

“I adore Nate,” I say, my voice thick. “He’s protective and smart and soulful. I fell for the man who likes his chocolate plain and will tweet an animal picture to try and find it a forever home. I fell for the man who loves his family. The man who is passionate about the sport he plays. That’s the man I’m crazy about, Holly. That’s the Nate I know and cherish. And I consider myself blessed beyond measure to have him in my life, and I will never,
ever,
take him for granted like Megan did.”

Holly stares at me, her eyes wide. I swallow hard. I didn’t intend to reveal all of that to her, not when I haven’t even said it to Nate himself.

“I’m sorry,” Holly says, blinking back tears. “I was wrong about you. I . . . I can’t even tell you how wrong I was. And you have no idea how sorry I am. I saw how devastated Nate was, how eaten alive he was by what happened, how he fell apart behind the scenes. And then this happened so fast and so unexpectedly, and I was terrified he was rushing into something that wasn’t right for him.”

“I promise you,” I say firmly, “I will never hurt your brother.
Ever.
”

“I know you won’t,” Holly says. “And I think I might be wrong about Nate, too.”

Then her expression changes to one of horror.

“Oh my God,” she gasps, her hand flying up to her mouth. “Shit.
Shit.
”

I furrow my brow. Holly’s face has gone white.

“Holly, are you okay?” I ask, concerned.

“Um,” Holly shakes her head like she’s trying to process something, “I have to fix something.”

“What?”

“Never mind,” Holly blurts out. “But I have to take care of something now, it’s important.”

She grabs her purse off the countertop. “Um, I’m truly sorry, Kenley. I was wrong. I hope you can forgive me.”

Now she appears panicked, but why?

“Of course I can. You love Nate,” I say. “I love that you care about him so much.”

Holly looks stricken. “Thank you,” she says. “But I . . . I’ll be back.”

Then she hurries past me, toward the door. But before she leaves, she stops and turns to me. “I can tell you meant what you said. And that makes me happy for Nate.”

I feel a lump rise in my throat. “Thank you.”

Holly then dashes out into the hallway surrounding the suite level, disappearing into the crowds.

I’m still confused by this conversation. Something I said rattled her, but what?

Maybe I’m overthinking this,
I tell myself. I’m good at that. It might be something unrelated that has Holly wound up like that.

Besides, the main thing is that I’ve turned Holly around. She’s going to be okay with us, and I feel nothing but relief in having won her over.

But now I feel the need to do something more.

To tell Nate how I feel.

Unfortunately, he’s leaving right after the game, on a flight for an extended road trip. I’ll get to see him for a brief minute in the hallway, thanks to the credentials he gave all of us, but it’s not nearly the time or place to tell him that I love him.

But I know, without a doubt, he’s ready to hear it.

Nate’s made that clear this week. He’s been taking the steps forward, big ones. Whatever CiCi said that rattled him has suddenly made him determined to make me a permanent part of his life, I feel that with all my heart.

Now it’s time for me to meet him halfway, by sharing what is in my heart with him.

And I will do that the second he returns from his road trip next week.

This has been the longest week
ever.

Nate is almost through his road trip, and the Demons are continuing to rack up the wins. Nate and Harrison have combined to make a powerful duo in the league and everyone is buzzing about it. Nate, in fact, has scored in the last two games and is one of the leaders in scoring in this early start to the season.

I measure my maple syrup for my pecan pie truffles I’m testing. I was asked to teach a class on Autumn Pie Flavored Truffles for a gourmet grocery store, so I’m working on this while I’m waiting for Nate to check in from St. Louis, where he has an off night.

Lexi walks out into the living room, her yoga mat bag slung over her shoulder. “I’m headed out for class,” she says. She comes over to me and peers into the bowl I’m using. “Mmmm, smells like pecan pie.”

“Pecan pie truffles,” I announce. “And I’m also doing glazed pecans because I had so many left over.”

“Love glazed pecans. With that sugary outer layer . . . yum. Okay, I’ll do extra cardio tomorrow at the gym so I can have those tonight,” Lexi says, grinning at me. “See you later.”

“Bye, Lex.”

Lexi heads out the front door, and I hear her lock it behind her. I take my filling and open the fridge, setting it inside so it can chill for fifteen minutes.

Just as I shut the door, my phone rings. I know it’s not Nate because we video chat, so I wipe my hands on a kitchen towel and glance down at the number.

It’s CiCi.

I frown. I hope she hasn’t gotten wind of my dinner plans with Dad and Emily, his new girlfriend, next month, so I can introduce them to Nate. Never mind the fact that she’s going to have dinner with me and Nate first. She’ll be furious that “THAT CHILD” will be present at such an important event in my life.