The Demon Lover (30 page)

You wouldn’t change that, would you? “

“I have my boy and I am going to keep him.”

“You wouldn’t have him any different, would you … not in one little way?”

“Of course I wouldn’t.”

“There you are. He had to be part mine to make him as he is. You might have married Bertrand. I saved you from that. | I was surprised when he didn’t go ahead. I told him to, but | he defied me. He lost a great deal. He is a very poor man now. a He married hoping his wife would bring him something. She did a little … not as much as he hoped though.”

“Did you have a hand in that?”

“He had to learn he could not defy me. Oh, you would have been so bored with him. Such a milk and water gentleman. It would have lasted with you, Kate. It would have ruined your career. Madame de Mortemer.

No, I don’t see you as that. Instead here you are, glorious Kate Collison, sought after but unattainable, the great artist, and the mother of the most delightful boy in France. Tell me, does he paint?

”

“What is it to you?”

“A great deal.”

“I refuse to answer.”

“Oh Kate … the same Kate. It take me back so. I should never have let you go. You see I can make mistakes.”

“That’s an extraordinary admission. Yes, you have indeed changed. It surprises me very much to hear you admit defeat.”

“I hope you will take pity on me.”

“I don’t believe a word you say, you know. I never shall.”

“Oh, you admit we shall have other opportunities for disagreeing. That implies a continuation of our relationship which I very much desire.”

“I think I should be going.”

“You can’t bring down the oriflamme yet … unless you would like me to take charge of the boy.”

“That I will never allow.”

“I thought not,” he said.

“Why have you come here?” I asked.

“To see the boy.”

“To ingratiate yourself with him.”

“I want his friendship.”

“It is not for you.”

“Shame, Kate. His own father!”

“I heard you have a son of your own … a legitimate one.”

His face hardened.

“I have no son,” he said.

“The Princesse has a son, I was told.”

“She has.”

“Then …”

“You knew, Kate. You were with her. I believe she confided in you. She did not come to me a virgin.”

I looked at him steadily, mockingly. He was very serious now.

“The child was born too soon,” he said.

“I knew it was not mine. She admitted that she had had a lover. Armand L’Estrange. So I give my name to a bastard. What do you think of that? It makes you laugh, doesn’t it?”

“Yes,” I said, laughing.

“It makes me laugh.” Then I was sober suddenly.

“The poor little Princesse … I began.

“Oh, you are sorry for her, are you? That deceitful harlot.”

“I’d be sorry for anyone who had the ill fortune to marry you.”

“Well, you have the satisfaction of knowing that I have a share in that misfortune.”

“You are outraged, I am sure. Never mind. You have learned a valuable lesson. You can be deceived like anyone else. What is good for men is perhaps after all good for women. You should not feel so angry because you have been caught at your own game.”

“I had forgotten you are one of the advanced women, are you not? You are a woman and an artist. You stand side by side with men and compete with them.”

“I compete as an artist… if you call it competing. This is not a matter of sex.”

“I gave you your chance … remember that. Do you think you would have found it so easy if I had not?”

“No. But you claim to be a lover of art. You recognized my talent and for that reason only you pointed it out to others.”

“I was interested m_you.”

“As an artist.”

“And as a woman. I think I proved that.”

“Oh, I thought that was a matter of sordid revenge.”

“It is always a good rule to combine business with pleasure.”

“Well, it is over now. You submitted me to the greatest humiliation one person can inflict on another. For that I shall never forgive you.

You owe me something. Well, keep out of my way. Keep away from my son. “

“You ask too much.”

He took my hand and crushed it in his.

“I wouldn’t harm either of you,” he said.

“I happen to be very fond of you both.”

“Who was it said. Fear the Greeks when they bring gifts? I have another comment and that is that when men like you play at being kindly they are at their most deadly.”

“Kate, you’ve changed. Understand that I have changed too.”

“I do not believe you will ever change for anything but the worse.”

“Won’t you give me a chance?”

“No.”

“Cruel Kate.”

“There is only one way in which you can change my feelings towards you.”

“What is that?”

“Stay away from me … and mine. And do you want a word of advice?”

“From you, Kate, that would be golden, I am sure.”

“I had to face a frightening situation. When I discovered I was going to have a child I did not know which way to turn. I had a good friend and I came through; and now I have come to terms with life. You should do the same. You have a son.

You may have more children. You must not blame the Princesse because she did once what you have spent your life doing. At least in her case it was done by consenting parties. “

“Oh Kate,” he said, ‘it does me so much good to be with you. Do you know, I feel more alive just to hear you talk. I really do enjoy being berated by you. Do you remember how you fought me? You really meant to fight, didn’t you? Have pity on me. My marriage is a disaster, I hate my wife’s sickly bastard, I despise my wife. She cannot have more children. Bearing the bastard did something to her. There’s my sad story. “

“There’s a moral in it.”

“What’s that?”

“The wicked never prosper.”

He laughed and I stood up. He stood beside me. I had forgotten how big he was, how overpowering.

“I’d like to have a chance to put my case to you,” he said.

“May I?”

“No,” I answered.

“I am not interested in your case. I can only see you as a barbarian, a savage born out of your century. If you would please me … and God knows you owe me something … you will stay out of my life. Leave me with what I have suffered for and worked for.

These things belong to me and you have no part in them. ” I called:

“Kendal. Bring down the oriflamme. It’s time to go home.”

The Baron went to the boy and helped him with the kite. Kendal was leaping round with excitement while the Baron handed him the kite.

“Thank you for it,” said Kendal.

“It’s the best and biggest kite that was ever in the sky.”

I thought: Already he is making my son like him.

We made our way silently home. I was deeply apprehensive. I had not felt such fear for a long time.

Kendal walked soberly beside me, carefully carrying his oriflamme kite.

Paris under Siege

The peaceful days were over. I was now beset by anxiety because that man had come back into my life.

I talked it over with Nicole. She thought I was worrying unduly.

“Naturally he’s interested in his own son,” she said.

“He just wants to see him and the best way of doing this, as you would not welcome him here, is in the Gardens. What harm is he doing?”

“I know that wherever he is there will be harm. What can I do?”

“Nothing,” replied Nicole calmly.

“You can’t stop the boy going to the Gardens. He’ll want to know why. He’ll be resentful. Let him go. Let him play with the kite there. It’ll be all right.”

“I’m terrified that he will try to take Kendal away from me.”

“He wouldn’t do that. How could he? It would be kidnapping.”

“He is a law unto himself.”

“He wouldn’t do that. Where would he take the child? To Centeville?

No, of course not. He just wants to see him now and then. “

“Nicole … have you seen him?”

“Yes,” she answered.

“You didn’t tell me.”

“It was only briefly and I thought it would upset you. As a matter of fact, he is concerned about the situation. Everybody is.”

“What situation?”

“We’re on the brink of war. The Emperor is becoming very unpopular.

After what happened to our country at the end of last century we are a sensitive people. “

She managed to subdue my fear for Kendal, but I found it very hard to work while he was out of the house, I arranged that he should go out in the afternoons when I could go with him. In the mornings he should be at his lessons. He was after all nearly five years old.

I knew that he had not seen the Baron for a week. Strangely enough he did not mention him. I had come to realize that children took almost everything for granted. The gentleman was there, he liked to talk to him, he had presented him with a kite . and then he was not there.

That was life, to Kendal.

I was immensely relieved.

But when we had visitors there was continual talk of what they called the uneasy situation.

“How long is the Second Empire going to last?” one of my visitors asked me.

I wondered why he was so intense. I, of course, had not had grandparents who had lived through the Revolution.

“There are people,” I was told, ‘who have felt they were sitting on the edge of a volcano ever since. “

“The Emperor has no right to meddle in Danish and Austro-Prussian wars,” said one.

“The French army is strong and the Emperor himself will lead it.”

“Don’t you believe it,” said another.

“I don’t trust these Prussians.”

I was too concerned with my own affairs to pay much attention, June had been a hot month. It was now over and we were now in what was to prove for France the fatal July of 1870.

Nicole came in one day and breathlessly told me that war between France and Prussia had been declared.

I received a letter that day which completely put thi thought of war out of my mind. It was from Clare and thi news it contained shattered me.

My dear Kate [she wrote], I don’t know how to begin to tell you. This has been a dreadful shock.

Your father is dead. It was so sudden. Of course he was nearing total blindness. Kate, he pretended to come to terms with it, but he never did. He used to go to the studio where you and he had been so happy together and sit there for hours. It was heartbreaking.

He was sleeping badly and I got the doctor to prescribe something for him to take at nights. I thought that was helping him. And then .

one morning when I went in to waken him . I found him dead.

He looked so peaceful lying there. He looked young. As though he were very happy.

There was an inquest. They were very sympathetic. The coroner said what a tragedy it was that a great artist should be robbed of that which was most necessary to him. Others can lose their sight and accept their fate more easily. But not a man to whom his work had meant so much.

They called it suicide while the balance of his mind was disturbed.

But his mind was as clear as ever. Hejust felt that he could not go on without his eyes.

I don’t know what I am going to do, Kate. I’m in a state of indecision at the moment. I shouldn’t come here if I were you. It would only make you miserable. Everyone is very kind to me. Frances Meadows made me stay at the vicarage, which is where I am now, and Hope has asked me to go and stay with them, which I shall do at the end of this week. By the time you get this letter I shall probably be there.

There is nothing you can do. Perhaps I will come over and see you later on and we can talk about everything.

Your father spoke of you constantly. Only the day before he died he said how happy he was that you were so successful. He talked of the boy too. It was almost as though he felt he could die happily knowing that you would carry on the tradition.

Dear Kate, I know this is the most terrible shock for you. I shall try to make a new life for myself. I feel so desolate and unhappy, but I thank God for my good friends. I don’t know what I shall do. Sell the house, I think, if you are agreeable to that.

He left me the house and what little he had except the miniatures, of course. They are for you. Perhaps I’ll bring them over to Paris sometime . I’m afraid I’ve told you rather clumsily. I’ve written this letter three times. But there is no way of softening the blow, is there?

My love to you, Kate. We must meet soon. There is a good deal to decide. Clare

The letter dropped from my hands.

Nicole came in. She said: “The Emperor is going to lead the forces.

He’ll cross the Rhine and force the German States to become neutral.

Why . what’s the matter? “

I said: “My father is dead. He has killed himself.”

She stared at me and I thrust the letter into her hands.

“Oh my God,” she whispered.

She had a wonderfully sympathetic nature and it always amazed me to see her change from the bright sophisticated worldly woman into the warmhearted and understanding friend.

First of all she made a cup of strong coffee which she in244 fHK

DEMON

LOVER |

sis ted that I drink. She talked to me, of my father, of his talent, J of his life’s work . and the sudden cessation of that work. I “It was too much for him to endure,” she said.

“He was ? robbed of his greatest treasure … his eyes. He could never’s have been happy without them. Perhaps he is happy now.” | I felt better talking to Nicole and once again I was grateful for her presence in my life.

I suppose it was really because of what had happened that I could only feel a lukewarm interest in the war about which everyone around me was getting so excited.

When the news came that the French had driven the German detachment out ofSaarbriicken, the Parisians went wild with joy. There was dancing in the streets and the people were singing patriotic songs, shouting Vive la France’ and “A Berlin’. Even the little modistes’ girls with their boxes hanging on their arms were talking excitedly about giving the Prussians a lesson they would never forget.