The Denim Dom (Siren Publishing Sensations) (23 page)

Butterflies multiplied in Shayla’s stomach at an alarming rate as they drew closer to the club. Armed with the confidence that she could stop events at any time, and with the support of the other women, she was determined to see the evening through to its conclusion.

I hope I don’t embarrass him.

She blinked, glad for the darkness of the car’s interior to hide her red cheeks.
Where’d
that
come from?

The warm thrill from his praise still rolled through her.

I’m very proud of you.

When was the last time she’d heard those words out of anyone’s mouth since she graduated from college?

James had damn sure never said them to her. A memory flashed to mind, of the day two years earlier, when she’d received word about an IR series she’d written about Medicaid fraud in Cleveland receiving a state journalism award.

She’d picked up the phone and called James about it before telling anyone else.

His response?

“That’s nice. I’ll talk to you when I get home.”

How she’d bit back disappointment at his disinterested tone, swallowed her pride, and not mentioned it again to him.

Neither had he.

How could I have been so fucking blind for so long?

Yet the man never hesitated to crow about his work accomplishments, even getting a tad petulant with her if she didn’t stroke his ego.

Maybe she was the crazy one after all, and the women and men she’d met in BDSM dynamics were the sane ones. They all asked for what they wanted and didn’t settle. She’d spent eight years settling. Even before she moved in with James, once they’d started dating, she recalled times she’d changed things around in her apartment to please him regardless of how she felt about it.

How when they moved in together, it was easier for her to go along with what he wanted than to put up with his whining and badgering until she gave him his way.

She’d spent the first several weeks of her time in Florida doing her best not to think about James or what she’d been through, with the exception of the good times. She hadn’t wanted to come to the conclusion that she’d flushed eight years of her life down the toilet.

Now, that realization slapped her in the face. When piled upon her mental scales, she couldn’t ignore any longer that the good times she’d had with James were far outnumbered by the bad. Especially when she realized how much of her own personality and needs she’d put aside to make room for James and what she’d previously thought women were supposed to do in a relationship.

Then add in the mental anguish and money he’d caused, and cost, her.

It’s a lesson I won’t soon forget.

Tony’s voice cut through her thoughts. “Are you all right, pet?”

They sat at a red light. The dashboard lights illuminated his concerned glance.

She reached over, found his hand, and squeezed. “I think,” she softly said, “that I’m better than I’ve been in a long time, Sir.”

He squeezed back and rewarded her with a smile. “Good. You looked pretty consternated there.”

She laughed. “My boss calls it ‘vexated.’”

He nodded as the light turned green and they started off again. “That’s another good word, too. I hope I’m not the one vexating you.”

She settled back in her seat. “No, Sir. I think you’re the one
un
vexating me.”

* * * *

It would be a busy night at the club. Shayla saw that nearly two dozen cars already sat in the parking lot when they pulled in behind Leah and Seth.

Before they got out, Tony patted her on the thigh. “Remember, pet. All you have to do at any time is say
red
and everything stops. Understand?”

“Yes, Sir.”

She watched as his eyes seemed to search her face. “I don’t want to push you too hard.”

“I’m all right, Sir. I want to be pushed.”

The corners of his eyes crinkled in amusement. “Be careful how you say that. You might find yourself coding sooner than you realize. But seriously, I don’t want to be a douche—”

“Sir, please stop saying that. You’re not a douche.” She blew out a long breath. “Believe me, I know douches, and you’ve been anything but that.”

The pity she read in his expression nearly made her burst into tears. “I’m sorry, pet. He did put you through the bad kind of mindfuck, didn’t he?”

She nodded. “I really don’t want to think about him anymore tonight. I’d rather spend the time letting you disengage my brain again, Sir.”

As she said it, she realized that was exactly what it had felt like earlier.

He cocked his head. “What just went through your mind, pet? You look like you had an epiphany.”

She ran her tongue over her front teeth as she considered it. She nudged her glasses up on her nose. “I think I did, Sir.”

“Tell me.”

She had no trouble meeting his gaze. “What we did earlier…it’s like my brain just shut off.”

“I hope that’s a good thing.”

She slowly nodded. “All I could focus on was what you were doing to me. Nothing else.” A sense of wonder flowed through her. “I’ve never felt like that before.”

He smiled. “I’ve heard subspace will do that to a person.”

“Is that what it was?”

“From what I saw on my end, I think so.”

She took a long, deep breath and let it out again before grinning. “I’d like to experience that again, Sir.”

His grin probably matched hers. “You don’t have to ask twice, pet. It’ll be my pleasure, believe me.”

She locked her glasses and her wallet in her car after getting her driver’s license and a twenty-dollar bill from her wallet. Tony left his whip bag in the trunk and only got his cane case and toybag. She followed him inside the lobby and felt anticipation expanding in her chest.

She did want to do that again. Hit that blessed plateau where the only thing in her world that mattered was what Tony Daniels did to her.

She also thought she might have taken one step closer to comprehension.

They got checked in and found a place for their things near the play equipment. “Can I ask a stupid question, Sir?”

He grinned. “Sure.”

“Why do you all go out to eat when the buffet is included in the price?”

He shrugged. “We’ve been doing it for years. It started as an offshoot of the Suncoast Society Munch group.” He lowered his voice as people walked past them. “You know how you have different kinds of friends, like office coworkers, and good buddies you’ve known for years, and people you’re socially acquainted with but aren’t really friends with, like that?”

She nodded.

“It’s the same for us here. I’ve got friends, like Seth and Leah, who I’ve known for years and consider good friends, even outside the lifestyle. I know plenty of people on a first-name-only basis through the scene that I usually only see here, but I wouldn’t necessarily want to associate with them in vanilla life. If that makes sense?”

She nodded.

“I don’t mean to come off sounding like an asshole by saying that. But those of us who come to the weekly dinner, we’re all friends first, outside of the lifestyle and in it. We met through the lifestyle, but our friendships became something more, something solid and lasting. While there are a lot of nice people in the lifestyle, some of them are, to me, like coworkers. It’s okay to socialize with them in certain settings, but I don’t necessarily want to broaden that contact to other areas of my life. I keep the boundaries firmly in place.”

“That makes sense, Sir.”

“We like that restaurant. It’s nice being able to sit down and chat with them. We can talk about our vanilla lives and we can talk about our BDSM lives. They’re very close friends I can trust in either situation not to reveal my secrets to others. Most of the people here in the dungeon who know me, if they even know what I do for a living, it’s that I’m in IT, and that’s it. I don’t give my last name to most of them. They don’t know the company, they don’t even know what city I work or live in. And that’s the way I want to keep it.”

She frowned. “Are you afraid of someone trying to blackmail you?”

“Not really. I’m more afraid of what I do here as play getting back to my employer and it causing trouble for me with them.”

“Do you think it would?”

“I don’t know. The teaching, that’s different. No one’s getting naked and I’m not teaching anything overtly sexual. So I’m teaching a negotiation class at FetCon. My last name isn’t listed anywhere on the program, and neither is my picture.” He shrugged. “It’s a human relations and communication class. The skills can be applied to a variety of situations. They’d be hard-pressed to use that against me. Ditto the whip and rope classes. But I’d rather not have curious employees showing up here out of the blue in numbers to see if there’s anything else I do.”

“Have you ever run into any coworkers here?”

“No. I did once at an event in Tampa, but he was also an upper manager and more than happy to look the other way. We’ve never talked about it, and won’t talk about it.”

“Could you lose your job for this?”

“Only if it caused problems at work. The more separation between the two, the happier I am. I don’t talk about my private life at work at all. There are people who can and have lost their jobs by being outed, though.”

He accurately interpreted her sudden nerves. “Don’t worry, pet. I wouldn’t take a chance if I thought there was a concern.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye. “You let me do all the worrying tonight,” he quietly said. “I want you to relax and let go. I want you to take off your reporter’s hat and let me be in charge. All right?”

Something about his low, steady tone proved damn near hypnotic to her. “Yes, Sir.”

He smiled. “That’s my good girl.”

* * * *

Tony wasn’t sure if he wanted to scene early with her, or wait and tease her for a while and do it later. The former would mean less people around to potentially make her nervous.

The latter meant the evening might end sooner if he wore her out and she wanted to go home.

That was something he didn’t want to happen. He wanted to steal as much time with her as he possibly could.

He pulled the leather cuffs from his bag. “Wrists, pet.”

It tickled him that she held out her hands without hesitation.

After quickly buckling the cuffs around her wrists, he pointed at the floor. She immediately knelt in front of him.

I’m going to be in damn misery all night.
Her immediate compliance had hardened his cock again. “When I ask you for a color tonight, regardless of what we’re doing, even if we’re standing and talking, I want you to give me either
green
,
yellow
, or
red
. Understand?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good girl. Where are we now? Give me a color.”

“Green, Sir.”

He couldn’t resist stroking the top of her head. Her eyes fell closed and she rested her forehead against his thigh, a content look on her face.

If it wasn’t for the fact that it was a concrete floor and he didn’t want her knees to start hurting, he’d gladly stand there all night just like that, with the warmth of her flesh melting through his denim jeans and scorching his flesh. Her hair felt silky slipping through his fingers.

“Such a good girl,” he softly said. Reluctantly, he gently tapped the top of her head. “Stand up, pet.”

She did.

“For tonight, pet, here are my other rules. If you need to go to the bathroom, or you need a drink, or you get hungry, you ask me for permission first. Understand?” He watched her eyes for any sign he was pushing her too hard, too fast, being too strict.

His cock wanted him to scruff the back of her neck and drag her home for sexy, private play.

He shoved that thought away.

She nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

He opted to wait to scene with her. He tried to tell himself he wanted to give her a chance to watch other people scening, maybe see a few things she might like to try, but he knew that was a lie.

He didn’t want to see the night end any sooner than it had to.

He laced his fingers through hers and they made the rounds of both the play area and the social area. He introduced her as his submissive and made no mention of her job. He didn’t want her slipping back into a work headspace when he could see how much she obviously enjoyed subspace

After two hours, they’d watched Seth and Leah play, as well as Ross and Loren. Apparently Tilly and Cris weren’t playing that night, but Landry topped a couple of different people. Tony checked in with her and got nothing but
green
in reply. He paid close attention to how she watched other scenes play out, what she seemed interested in, what seemed to turn her off, and made sure to pick her brain about her feelings.

When his preferred bench in the far corner came up available, Tony decided he’d delayed enough. He led Shayla over to it and had her sit down. “You stay here. I’ll be right back with my bag.”