The Devil's Tattoo (23 page)

CHAPTER
TWENTY-NiNE

Will

It had been a long drive back to Melbourne after the roadhouse. As
we stood on the road at the side of the bus, I couldn't help but feel
conflicted. We were home, but home came with a whole new set of problems. Ones
I wanted to leave Zoe out of.

Our gear was being delivered to the venue so that just left
us and our bags to go home with
. I grabbed mine
and sidled up to Zoe and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. She was
going to catch a lift with Dee, since they lived in St Kilda and I lived in
Northcote
on the other side of the city. 

"See you tomorrow," I murmured and high tailed it
towards a waiting taxi with Pete, my bag in my hand.

As the taxi drove off, Pete gave me a look.

"What the fuck was that?" he scowled at me.

"I got some texts from Mish."
The
ex-girlfriend from hell.
The one who'd fucked up my life.

"Shit. What does she want?"

"She says she misses me. That she wants to make it up,"
I sighed, running a hand over my face.

"Will. Seriously?"

"No," I scowled. "I want Zoe. I will always want
Zoe."

"Have you told her about Mish?"

"No."

"Dude, shit like this will come back and bite you on the ass.
You should tell Zoe. Did you see the look on her face just now?"

I shook my head, looking at my hands. I didn't trust myself to
look at her. What if the first thing she did was dump my pathetic ass? I mean,
were things different now that we were finishing up the tour? Did she want to
end it anyway? I was suddenly full of these doubts, Mish or no Mish.

"Pete, you know how Mish is. When she wants something, she'll
screw over everyone to get it. If she got her claws into Zoe…" I thought
about the texts she'd sent.

Hey babe. I'm back in
Melbs
. I miss you.
We need to talk.
xx

I'd texted back:
Not a good idea.

I miss you. This whole thing was a mistake. Let me make it up to
you.

I hadn't heard from her in almost a year and now she wanted to
worm her way back into my life? She must be desperate for some attention if she
was texting me.

"Will, you know she might do that anyway."

"I know. I have to go see her…"

"No way," Pete interrupted me. "Tell her to go fuck
herself."

"I have to tell her to back off. If she could see how it is
with me and Zoe now, she'll leave me alone."

"Or she'll see it as a challenge. She was always up for it,
remember?"

"How could I forget?" I groaned.

"Dude, she ruined your life. Don't even think about going
back there in any capacity. I'd leave her hanging. Text her back a very big go
fuck
yourself."

"Yeah, if I did that, she'd just turn up at the gig tomorrow.
And when she saw me with Zoe the shit would hit the fan."

Pete let out a long sigh and shrugged. "Do what you want,
Will.
You know how I feel about it."

I knew it was probably stupid, but I saw no other way that wasn't.
I got out my phone and texted her to meet me at a bar down on Brunswick Street
in a couple of hours. This had to end before it got any worse.

I sat in a corner table at a small bar at the top end of Brunswick
Street, nursing a beer. I was nervous about seeing Mish again. When we'd been
together I thought I'd loved her. I mean
,
we'd been
going out three years by that point. No one could spend that amount of time
with another person and not think it was anything else.

Mish'd
worked as a model from the age of eighteen. Doing photo shoots,
catwalk, that kind of thing. All fashion magazine stuff, no catalogues for her.
She wanted to make it big and she did. A few times she'd gone overseas to work
and of course I'd been supportive as any good boyfriend would have been. When
she got cast to open a big show at Sydney Fashion Week, I went to surprise her.
Took a break from recording and all so I could go and be there for her big
moment.

Too bad her big moment included fucking male models behind my
back.

In my twenty-seven years I'd never seen something as fucked up as
another man fucking my girlfriend. To say I was destroyed was too soft a word.
So tonight, when I did finally lay eyes on her, I wasn't expecting the blind
anger I felt now. Nothing was left of the love I'd once felt. It was gone.

She hadn't changed much. She was as tall as I was, six one,
willowy and perfect almond skin. Her chestnut hair had been cropped short and
she looked like a model. It was her business to look beautiful and as she came
towards me with a smile on her face, every guy in the room watched her. I swear
she knew it and thrived. She was the kind of person who made friends with ugly
people so she could look good in a crowd.

"Will," she cried, putting her bag on the seat across
from mine. "I'm so glad you wanted to meet me."

When she leant down to kiss me on the cheek, I leant back sharply
so she couldn't.

"I know you're upset with me," she sighed dramatically
and sat down.

"Upset isn't the word I would use," I stared at her.

"Look, I'm sorry. I wanted to see you because I miss you.
Life hasn't been the same without you around."

"No, it hasn't," I said shaking my head, already
exasperated with her over-the-top groveling. I mean
,
the way she was putting it was that I would be a fool if I didn't come back to
her. Not the other way around.

"I'm just going to come out and say it, Will. I can see
you're angry with me. I want to try again."

I shook my head and scoffed. This was exactly what I knew she
would say. "You should have thought about that before you went off and
fucked all those other guys."

Her eyes widened with shock. What, did she think she could just
come back and think I was a sure bet?

"You can't come back after all this time and try and make
things better," I went on. "It's not going to happen."

"Why not?" she crooned. "We were good
together." I felt her
stilettoed
foot climb up
the inside of my leg and I jerked away. She really was a piece of work.

"Mish," I pinched the bridge of my nose.
"Relationships are about trust. How could I trust you?"

"Exactly," she said. "That's why I want to work on it.
I know I did some bad things, but I've learnt from my mistakes. My biggest one
was letting you go."

I scowled. I didn't care about her. I didn't want her. I wanted
Zoe.

"I don't care," I cried. "I'm with someone
else."

"You're seeing someone?" she asked like it was the
stupidest thing she'd heard. How I never saw how vapid she was when we were
together was beyond me.

"Yes and I'm happy. You need to give up and move on. There's
someone out there for you and it's not me."

Her eyes began to mist with tears and I couldn’t have cared less.
Picking up her bag from the seat next to her, Mish stood abruptly and walked
away without a word. I heard the door slam behind me and I didn't bother
looking after her. She had always been dramatic and our two-minute conversation
and been just that. She'd laid it on thick. All I could do was put my head in
my hands and hope that I'd done enough to deter her from showing up again.

My thoughts instantly went to Zoe. It was her fucking birthday and
I was sitting here arguing with my ex-girlfriend. I should be with Zoe. I
shouldn't have left her the way I did this
arvo
. Fuck
Mish and fuck her meddling. This was exactly what she wanted.

I felt my skin prickle and my heart twist. I needed Zoe. I
needed her around me.

If I didn't have her, I didn't know if I could go on.

CHAPTER
THIRTY

ZOE

It had been the longest
trip I’d ever sat through back to Melbourne
. It felt like the end of an era, standing outside of the bus and
knowing it was the end. We would all go our separate ways tonight and meet up
again tomorrow for the first of our two shows that closed the tour. The venue
had no show on tonight, so our gear was being delivered ahead of time. That
just left
us and our luggage to get home
.

Will sidled up to me and gave me a quick kiss on the forehead.
He'd told me he lived in
Northcote
, the other side of
the city to me. I'd catch lift with Dee, since he lived a few blocks away.

"See you tomorrow," he murmured and wandered towards a
waiting taxi with Pete, his bag in his hand.

"What the fuck was that?" Dee asked, standing beside me.
He looked as flabbergasted as I was.

After being so close for the last two weeks, it felt like a kick
in the guts and I couldn't help but feel rejected.

"No idea," I whispered, as I watched the taxi drive off.

Dee flipped the bird after them and turned towards me. "Well,
it's still your birthday and if you want, I'll take you out."

"No, it's okay."

"I'm in if you
wanna
,"
Simone said coming up behind us.

Frank and Chris offered as well.

"Seriously, guys. After a whole day on that stinking bus,
it's probably better to just go home. We can party tomorrow night." I
liked my notion and didn't say it, but I wasn't in my head right now. Will had
just hit me for six.

"Well," Frank said. "We're only a phone call away
if you change your mind."

"Thanks,
Frankey
," I smiled
thinly.

When I finally got home, walking through the door of my apartment
was familiar, yet alien. Being away for so long, the place smelt different and
it was cold and had that abandoned feeling. I placed the Fender against the
wall and dumped my bag in the bedroom, not wanting to deal with it yet.
Standing in the middle of the lounge, I let out
a
exasperated sigh. It didn't feel right, being home alone. I wanted someone
here. I wanted Will, but after his weird goodbye, I hesitated about calling
him. Instead, I sent a text to Dee.

So boring here alone.

It was only a split second later when he replied:
It's weird
being home. Want to get a drink?
xx

Hell yes.

Ted's Shed?

Sounds good. Let me shower and change first.

Good idea. I don't want to smell your stink. See you there in an
hour.
xx

Taking one last look at the Fender, I wasn't sure if I could pick
it up and play it now. Even though it was a present from everyone, it was still
a gift that had been spearheaded by Will and I wasn't sure about his intentions
anymore.

He'd said he knew about hurt. He'd brushed it aside so easily, I'd
almost forgotten about it. Now, I was wondering if his sudden shift in
behaviour
had something to do with it.
That,
and the person who'd been sending him those messages.
Was it an
ex-girlfriend that had broken his heart? Or was it his current girlfriend
calling him out for being a cheater?

When I met up with Dee at
Ted's Shed
, he was waiting with
two bright orange cocktails. Sinking into the seat opposite him, I gave him a
grateful smile.

"Happy Birthday,
Zo
Zo
. I know the orange ones are your
favourite
."

"Thanks," I sighed and took a long sip, the sugar and
alcohol rushing straight to my head. "I need that serotonin."

"Is everything okay?" he asked, coming straight out with
it.

My shoulders slumped and I ditched the straw and took a few big
mouthfuls.

"Well, obviously not," he said, concerned at my
reaction.

"Will started acting weird this
arvo
,"
I said. "He got some texts and all of a sudden he's this moody bastard. He
hardly touched me. You saw his steamy goodbye."

"He did seem off."

"It's weird.
After this morning.
My
birthday."

"It's very sudden," he agreed. "You should just ask
him straight up."

"Squash my fears," I declared, already feeling a little
giddy.

"Did he say who the texts were from?"

"No, I was afraid to ask."

"Zoe…"

"What if he has a secret girlfriend? What if he…"

"Stop it," he
shooshed
me.
"I don't believe it. Not after seeing him with you this whole tour."

"I don't know, Dee…"

"If you're so worried, you should confront him about it. It's
the only way you'll find out for sure. The only thing you're doing right now is
over thinking and jumping to conclusions."

"You reckon?"

"I reckon." He pushed my drink into my hand. "Now,
drink up. It's still your birthday and I refuse to let you to spend it down in
the dumps."

A smile spread across my face despite myself.

"That's my girl," he grinned in return.

Dee had said just to come out and ask Will. I don't know if it was
the fact I'd just downed a bright orange cocktail on an empty stomach, but I
was determined to set things straight. The moment I laid eyes on him, I'd just
say it. I was going to put my insecurities to rest once and for all and take
control of my life. I wasn't going to be a punching bag for anyone anymore.

I was just going to ask.

Everything always seems so simple when you're a little tipsy. Last
nights outing had boosted my confidence, but now that I was standing backstage,
I felt uneasy. Setting up for a show had become familiar territory, a second
home, but now it felt like a battlefield. The last time I had confronted
somebody it hadn't ended well.

The moment we came off stage from doing sound check, I found Will
loitering in the back hallway, looking flustered.

"We need to talk," I declared, grabbing his arm.

"Zoe…" he began, but I pulled him into a small room that
looked a lot like a storage closet.

Flicking the light on revealed a table, some old chairs and old
boxes full of papers. Storage closet.

Closing the door behind us, I faced him, trying to will back some
of that confidence I'd felt the night before. Having him in front of me made it
all dissolve into a pile of ash. I cared for him so
much,
I was suddenly petrified he was going to break it off with me.

"Is everything okay?" I asked as he leant back against
the wall.

"Yes, of course it is," he replied like I was mad.

That wasn't really flying with me. "You've been different."

He frowned. "It's just… we're home now."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I asked a little too
forcefully.

"Zoe," he stepped towards me, picking up on my tone.
"I didn't mean it like that."

I pulled back when he tried to wind his arms around my waist.
"Then what do you mean? Something's changed. I'm not stupid."

"Zoe, I didn't mean to upset you."

"You were okay until you got those messages," I said
quietly. I didn't want to be that girl, but that's what this was about, wasn't
it?

"What are you talking about?" he asked, cocking his head
to the side as if he were confused.

"Yesterday."

His expression changed and he knew he wasn't getting around it.
"That was nothing."

"Will," I hissed, "I saw how it got to you. Don't
say it was nothing. You hardly said a word to me when we got
back yesterday."

"It was nothing but an annoyance," he snapped and I
flinched, stepping back in surprise. He'd never spoken to me that way before.
His tone stabbed into me and I was lost for words.

"Shit, Zoe," he sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I'm
sorry. I didn't mean…"

He reached out for me and I twisted out of his grasp. "You're
not telling me something."

"You've nothing to worry about," he said firmly,
stepping into me before I could push him away again. "You're everything to
me."

His hands caressed either side of my face, forcing me to look into
his eyes and I saw such sincerity there, I believed him.

"You can't keep things from me," I said and instantly
realised
I was doing the exact same thing. Maybe I didn't
have a secret boyfriend, and maybe he was telling the truth, but there were
still some things I was holding back on.

"Zoe," he murmured, lowering his lips to mine. "
There's
only you."

I let him kiss me, long and slow, his lips firm against my own,
his tongue against mine. I let him consume me and take my fear.

My back hit the wall as his hands became more fevered, finding
their way underneath my shirt.

"Do you want to come?" he asked huskily, unbuttoning my
shorts.

"Will," I groaned as his fingers found my clit and began
circling.

"Only if you want it," he said breathlessly, nibbling on
my neck. "Only if you'll let me."

I didn't trust myself to speak, instead, I pushed my hand down the
front of his jeans, letting my body take over and squashing all rational
thought someplace else. Wrapping my hand around his hard length, I squeezed
lightly. It was all the encouragement he needed. He pulled my shorts and
underwear off and his jeans dropped to his knees.

Grinding himself into my clit, he moaned against my lips,
"Let me fuck you, Zoe. Let me be inside you. I need you."

I don't know where the condom came from, but suddenly, he lifted
me up and my legs wrapped tightly around his waist, opening myself
up to him
. We were still mostly dressed, the intimacy of skin on skin
gone and I knew this time was different. Positioning me on top of the table, he
took my mouth in a hard, fevered kiss, his tip against my opening. I clenched
in anticipation, wanting to feel him as much as he seemed to need me.

"God," he growled, sinking deep. "You're
mine."

Throwing my head back, I groaned as this painful, passionate,
need
filled me. Right now, there was nothing but this and Will didn't stop. He
thrust deep inside me, hard and fast, relentless as he fucked me on top of the
table. This wasn't love or tenderness. This was raw sex.
This
was
just two people who needed to fuck to feel alive
.
This was as real as it was going to get.

My hands latched onto his shoulders, fingertips digging deep as
flesh pounded into flesh, a blinding orgasm building inside of me. When I came,
I came hard, tightening around him as he prolonged the sensation, until I lost
all sense of where I was. Then he came just as hard, growling my name over and
over until with one last thrust, he stilled, tremors rocking through both of
our exhausted bodies.

His eyes met mine, both of us too spent to find each other’s lips,
let alone talk. I thought he'd stripped me bare before, but that was nothing
compared to what he just did to me.

As my mind slowly came back, I couldn't help but think he'd just
got one over me. That he'd just silenced me with sex. I wasn't sure how I
should take it.

He said I was his, but was he still mine?