The Devlin Deception: Book One of The Devlin Quatrology (57 page)

“In terms of foreign affairs, possibly the decision that has
caused the most controversy and backlash has been the one I made to
drop out of and stop contributing financially to the United Nations,
along with dropping out of the World Trade Organization and the World
Court. The UN people are also pretty pissed off about my decision to
start charging them rent on their building in New York. The
confrontations and controversies have not been settled yet, but I'm
standing firm on all of those decisions.

“Of course, my decision to sever diplomatic relations with and
end foreign aid to the 47 countries I have done that with has come
under constant criticism and threats. Again, I am standing firm on
all those decisions. If any of those countries want to restore those
relations, they each know what they have to do. As to the aid we've
provided to them in the past, sorry, that won't happen again for
decades, if ever. We've learned just how big a sucker this country's
government has been in the past, and that wussiness and gullibility
is gone, over, done with. Words to the wise. Got it?”

Donne pulled out the handkerchief and rubbed his head again.

“Domestically, my prioritizing of people and business over all
the cutesy little animals that the anti-capitalists and anti-business
folks have used as excuses for sabotaging our growth has shown what
to me are great results. In over three hundred cases, I have given
the tree-huggers and flower-fondlers thirty days each to relocate the
tiny little spiders, owls, turtles, snails, bats and all the rest of
their straws before the project they're protesting resumes, and in
exactly two dozen of those, the protestors have complied and
construction has continued. In all the rest, those enviro-wingnuts
have sought other excuses to stop the projects, at least until they
were exposed as the anti-business anarchists, saboteurs and radical
anti-Americans they are, and I have incarcerated them or confiscated
all of their and their organizations' assets … NOT their
liabilities, as is my policy. It does appear that most of them have
learned their lesson, because we have only had to deal with 23 of
those kinds of protests in the last four months.

“On a more local level, my directive ordering federal, state
and local governments to eliminate all their rules, regulations,
ordinances or any similar orders banning soap and/or shampoos from
outdoor showers went into effect in October, and other than
unscientific objections, primarily from uninformed petty bureaucrats
and those same enviro-wingnuts, the public is unequivocally in
support. Now, if someone can do some serious scientific studies …
NOT junk science, but real, unbiased studies that show some
demonstrable negative consequences, I may … and I emphasize
MAY … take those under advisement. But meanwhile, I trust our
beaches will smell better.

“Along that line, during this past year, my staff and I have
been going through all of the EPA's regulations and eliminating those
that make no sense and/or have insufficient unbiased scientific
evidence behind them. After a year, we're only about halfway through
that morass, and we've completely eliminated 92 percent of what we've
gotten to, and seriously loosened 92 percent of the other eight
percent. We streamlined our process as we went along, and I'd bet
we'll be done in less than another three months.”

Donne pulled out his handkerchief and rubbed his entire head again,
took a deep breath and continued.

“Meanwhile, of course, as I announced in my very first speech
to you, all EPA enforcement actions have been suspended, and we will
be going back through penalties that have been assessed over the past
ten years and determining where refunds need to be made. Wait one.
That may not have been in my speech, but it was in one of the first
25 directives I signed. Sorry; this has been a bit of an
overwhelming year, and I do get confused from time to time.

“We've also suspended all enforcement actions under the ADA,
FCC, OSHA, and a lot of other agencies too numerous to list here.
Check those out on the web site. Same for the Endangered Species
Act, which has been so abused ever since it was enacted.”

Donne pulled out his handkerchief and wiped his head again.

“As for education, we have received gots of lood feedback –
I mean lots of good feedback from both schools and parents about our
personal finance module, and we've added amother nodule – I
mean another module for the fifth grade, and we will have moo tore
for the neventh and sinth cades groming out --”

Donne gasped for breath, pulled his handkerchief out again, but then
clutched at his throat, massaging it, gasped again, then once more
choked, gasped again and collapsed facedown on the desk, a small
trickle of blood dripping from his nose.

As Emily, three Secret Service agents and two of Donne's private
guards ran into the shot, the screen went to black.

-115-

Saturday, June 30, 2012

11:22 a.m.

Bonita Beach, Florida

”Hey, Sharon. Take a look at this. I thought Pam was in
France on a job.”

“She is,” Sharon rasped back. “Till Monday, I
think she said.”

“Well, isn't that her coming down the beach?”

“Can't see her yet, Justin. The building's in the way. Oh,
wait – let me get the scope. Ah. Nope, not her, but it could
be her twin.”

“She's a knockout.”

“Hey, Justin!”

“Well, she is, Lindsay. And look at how she walks.”

“Flouncing, strutting … whore.”

“Cool it, you two. Eyes and ears open.”

“Hey, Jake!”

“Wha- --JJ? Is that – how are you?”

“Just great. Still sexy as hell.”

“That you are. Haven't seen you in … what? … two
years?”

“Yup. Just here for a month again.”

“Cool. Still doing the fundraising gig?”

“Oh, yeah. They can't get enough of me up there. I'm hitting
up Fortune 500 CEOs now.”

“Good for you. Where was that again? Raleigh?”

“Greenville.”

“Oh, right; Greenville.

“Still going with that builder guy?”

“Nope; that's done, over a year now. I'm on the loose.”

“I'll alert the media. 'All males now in imminent danger.'”

JJ dramatically unwound her beach wrap, revealing a tight, very
well-proportioned figure in a stunning teeny-weeny green bikini, with
gold rings on both sides of the bottom and another in the cleavage.
She spun around and wiggled her butt, showing Jake a golden heart
embroidered on the back.

“Like it?”

“Yeah. You know, I've heard of women wearing their hearts on
their sleeves, but --”

“But not on their gorgeous asses, huh?” She wiggled it
some more, glancing over her shoulder and giving Jake a winning
smile.

“Oh, Christ,” Lindsay whispered to Justin. “Who
the hell does she think she is?”

“Now, now, Lin, back it down. We're just observing.”

“Well, JJ, I have to admit, you've got one of the nicest butts
this beach has seen in a while.”

“You've always had great taste and discernment, Jake Devlin.”

“That I have, JJ.”

“So what's up with you? Did you ever get that book idea
going?”

“Yeah, I did. I sent you the link, didn't I?”

“Yeah, but I only glanced at it.”

“Well, I'm almost --”

“Lotsa sex in there, right?”

“Oh, not much; it's mostly political and some spy kinda stuff.”

“Oh, pooh. You've got to put a lot of sex in. I could be a
model for you, give you some pointers.” She flounced closer to
him, leaned down and gave him a big kiss on the mouth, ran her hand
down his chest, then stood back up and pulled her sunglasses down and
batted her dazzling blue eyes at him. “Or you could give me
one.”

Perflutzed but amused, Jake laughed. “Oh, JJ, you'll never
change, will you?”

“Not in the slightest. I do love me and I do love life.”

“Truer words were never spoken.”

“So you gonna invite me to sit or am I gonna have to sashay
around here in front of you for the whole damn day?”

“I'm sorry. Sure, plant your gorgeous ass anywhere you want.”

JJ picked up the beach chair she'd dropped, flipped it open and
slithered into it, threw her arms up in the air, sighed and
exclaimed, “Ah, Bonita, I'm back. Feast your eyes!”

Jake laughed. Lindsay hissed, Justin stifled a chuckle and, behind
the scope, Sharon rolled her eyes.

“You want me to take her out, don't you, Lindsay?”

“Oh, please do, Sharon, please do.”

“Sorry, kid; you're on your own.”

“I could claim she was a threat.”

“Unless she's got a gun in that bag of hers, that won't fly.
She sure doesn't have one in that suit. So just cool it and
observe.”

“Damn.”

“So can I be in your book, Jake?”

“I think you already are, JJ. You're an Under-Secretary in the
Treasury, in charge of --”

“No, Jake, no. I don't want to be under any secretary; it's
got to be at least a vice-president, and he's got to be phenomenally
rich and handsome and have a really, really, really big --”

“Okay; not an --”

“-- yacht.”

“Okay; not an Under-Secretary. I'll make you a Deputy
Secretary in Charge of Jewelry.”

“Oooh, oooh, perfect! I love it. Jewelry! Count me in. And
I'm really gorgeous and sexy, right? Lots and lots of sex with the
President, maybe?”

“Nope, there is no President.”

“What?”

“There is no President, no Congress, no Supreme Court. My guy
fired 'em all and took over.”

“Well, okay. I'll have lots of sex with him. Is he gorgeous?”

“Oh, not really; he's kind of a --”

“Well, shoot, Jake, y'gotta have a good-looking President.”

“Sorry; he's not.”

“So have you seen Laura? The cute girl from Houston you
introduced me to? Retired from – oh, I forget.”

“Court reporting. Y'know, I don't think so, not since then.
Or maybe I've QH'd it.”

“You've whatted it?”

“Oh, sorry; QH – Quarterheimered it, forgot.”

“How about Joy?”

“Joy?”

“Cute, short blonde hair, maybe 30ish, mom named Betty.”

“Oh, Joy. Right. Yeah, she's around, I think. Saw her maybe
a couple weeks ago.”

“We had such fun cruising around together, blowing guys' minds
away.”

“Just their minds?”

“Oh, Jake, you raunchy old coot.”

“Sorry, couldn't help it. I know you too well.”

“Well, it was mostly their minds. Joy and Laura were sorta
chicken.”

“Oh, you poor thing, stuck with a couple of wallflowers.”

“I didn't say that, Jake. They were just sorta chicken. I got
'em outa their shells within three days, and they made great
wingmen.”

“Wingwomen, don't you mean?”

“Oh, Jakey, Jakey. Picky, picky, picky.”

“Hey, JJ, you know I'm CDO.”

“CDO?”

“Yeah, like OCD, but with the letters in the correct
alphabetical order.” He emphasized the last three words
individually.

“What's OCD?”

“Oh, geez, JJ. Obsessive-compulsive disorder.”

“Oh. Anyhow, we all had a great time. Wish I'd gotten their
emails, coulda kept in touch.”

“Ah, well. If wishes were --”

“So how's your love life?”

“Great.”

“So you got a girlfriend?”

“A little more than that.”

“What? You married?”

“No, no, just really close.”

“Is she gorgeous?”

“Yup.”

“More than me?”

“Different. I'd give you both a ten.”

“Not a ten and a half?”

“Oh, it goes higher? Okay, sure.”

“Smart?”

“Absolutely.”

“Slutty?”

“Now, now, JJ --”

“Okay, okay. Sexy?”

“I'd have to give that a yes.”

“More than me?”

“Different. But then, with you, I don't really know, do I?”

“Your loss.”

“Ah, well.”

“So where is she?”

“Ah … Europe somewhere.”

“What? Europe? Where?”

“I'm not sure today. She's traveling.”

“Really? Without you? Oh, you poor dear. Maybe we --”

“Nah, she's working.”

“Working? So what does she do?”

“Uh … security consulting.”

“Oh. So what else is new down here?”

“Not much; just the usual placid, calm retirees' paradise.”

“It is calm, that's f'sure, Shuffleboard and golf. What was
that you said, something about the average age?”

“Oh. Ah, 'Average age, average temperature, same number.'”

“Right, right.” She laughed. “Hope I can remember
that.”

“Oh, I'm sure you can do whatever you set out to do, JJ.”

“You are so right, Jakey.

“Oh, there's Mike. I'm gonna go toy with his emotions for a
while. Nice to see you again, Jake. I'll be around. See ya. Hey,
Mikey!!!”

“Have fun, JJ,” Jake said aloud, and after she'd picked
up her stuff and sashayed away, he said to himself, “Good luck,
Mike,” and then, “Whew.”

He took several deep breaths, picked up his non-spiral notebook and
wrote, “JJ back -- how to use her ?? Laura and --” he
rubbed his temple with his pen -- “Joy?” Then he picked
up his noodles and foot-washing bag, tucked the bag in his waistband
and headed for the water.

Norm and Janet, on their own noodles in the water and full of
curiosity, watched Jake approach and noodled over to intercept and
interrogate him.

Lindsay raged silently as Justin's eyes followed JJ's swaying,
flouncing, gorgeous bottom, and Sharon said, only to herself, not
over the earbuds, “Well, Jake, you made it through that one.
Bravo.”

-116-

Friday, March 8, 2013

11:30 a.m.

The White House

Washington, DC

via a 24-hour news channel

Gordon Donne, his fringe of hair a good deal thinner and grayer and
his gaunt face the grimmest that the nation had yet seen, but still
dressed in his casual clothes, glared at the camera from behind his
desk in the Oval Office.