The Diary of Darcy J. Rhone (3 page)

October 28

I finally got my driver’s license—three times the charm! Thank God I passed because Ethan was having way too much fun. I swear he got happier every time I failed. He even gave me a remote-control car for my birthday, saying it would be the only car I’d learn to drive anytime soon. And it wasn’t even a cool car. Bite me.

The only other interesting thing I can think of is that Michael Dukakis came to speak at our town hall meeting and Rachel and Ethan dragged me along. (They are democrats—although obviously none of us can vote yet.) His speech was pretty boring, but I loved watching the secret service agents. There’s something about a man with an earpiece and a gun! I would never marry a cop, though. They don’t make enough money. But I might make an exception for a firefighter. There is nothing sexier than a man brave enough to run into a burning building.

November 9

George Bush won the election, and Rachel and I won airband for the second year in a row. We did Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock’s “It Takes Two.” Everyone loved it! “Hit it! I’m not internationally known! But I’m known throughout the Naperville home!” It was really cute, and it got Blaine’s attention for sure. I saw him in the front row, laughing, eyes on me the whole time. He likes me—I just know he does. If only he’d dump his stupid girlfriend already. I saw her picture in his locker. She’s not even that pretty, and her hair looks so seventies. Straight-up Marcia Brady. No—make that Jan.

December 23

I finally figured out what to get Rachel for Christmas! A framed poster of Bono for her room. He’s wearing a cowboy hat and sunglasses and he looks pretty hot, and he’s not even my type. It’s the perfect gift for her because she is so into U2 it’s crazy. She and Ethan even slept out for tickets last spring for the Joshua Tree Tour. I like a couple of their songs, but I think bands like Whitesnake and Poison and Bon Jovi are so much cooler. Anyway, Rachel is going to love her gift, which is good because I accidentally went into the craft room in her basement and saw what she is making me—a collage of all the fun stuff we’ve done together since junior high. It has ticket stubs and pictures and song lyrics that she wrote in calligraphy. It is the coolest gift ever. She is seriously the best friend a girl could ever want. I have spent the night at her house since we got off for Christmas break. It’s so much nicer and cozier over there. For one, she doesn’t have a dumb little brother. For another, her parents never fight like mine do. And most of all, it’s just fun to hang out with her. We sleep in her bed and just talk and talk until one of us falls asleep. Just like real sisters. Anyway, I think it’s going to be a very merry Christmas!!! Even without a boyfriend!

January 1, 1989

Wow. I can’t believe it’s the last year of the eighties! Crazy!!! Almost time to start thinking about college. Kind of scary because my grades suck. I have a 2.8—and even if I studied every day from now until graduation I don’t think I could pull it up to a 3.0. But I did join Amnesty International with Ethan and Rachel. That will be good for my lame-o transcript. And it’s a nice bonus to help out all those innocent, tortured prisoners.

February 17

Holy shit. I’m pretty sure my own mom just told me I’m fat. I was eating crackers with peanut butter and she started reading the label and was all “Do you know how many fat grams are in peanut butter?” I was like, “What are you saying, Mom?” She took away the peanut butter and was like, “You’ll thank me later.” I asked her if she wanted me to have an eating disorder (although I think she already knows I occasionally make myself puke) and she was like, “If by eating disorder, you mean not eating peanut butter, then yes.” Wow. Are you kidding me??!!! It’s like all she cares about is how people look. How
I
look. Rachel’s mom is so much nicer. Every time I go over there she tells me how much fun I am to be around. She is so right about that. I am more than just another pretty face.

April 2

Rachel and I watched Blaine pitch a no-hitter against Central last night. It was SO hot. I love guys who are good at sports. It’s not so much that I love jocks as it is that I love when people are passionate about something. I wish I had a passion (other than Blaine). Rachel has school, Ethan has his writing and all his political activist stuff, Annalise has horseback riding. I’m going to try to find a hobby if it kills me. Or become an expert in something cool. Like become a storm chaser or a poker player or a contortionist. Then again, maybe all of that isn’t necessary. I mean, I seriously doubt if Cindy Crawford is collecting rare coins on the side.

April 3

My dad got two tickets to
Les Misérables
from one of his patients. He gave them to me so I called and asked Blaine out. He hemmed and hawed and said he had a girlfriend. I said I knew he had a girlfriend but that I just wanted to go as friends. Wasn’t he allowed to have friends? It totally worked! He said yes! Crucial! Rachel is all judgey because she knows what I’m up to and said she feels sorry for Cassandra. I told her all’s fair in love and war. I wonder where that quote came from? Shakespeare? The Bible? Elvis? Whoever made it up was pretty smart. I totally, totally believe in that saying.

April 14

Blaine and I had an amazing time on our date. I wore a little black sundress from Express and stuffed my push-up bra almost to the point of cleavage. The musical was really good, and I grabbed Blaine’s hand just after intermission. He looked nervous but didn’t move it. Afterwards, Blaine drove me back to my house, and we made out in the basement (after I went to the bathroom and took out the tissues, of course!). He didn’t end up going for my boobs, though, and it was all pretty PG-13 but still steamy with lots of kissing. When he went for my neck, I warned him that I bruise easily, but that didn’t stop him from giving me a hickey. I showed it off proudly at school rather than wearing a turtleneck the way other girls do, and it was all anyone could talk about. But the best part was that Blaine dumped Cassandra the very next day! I feel sort of bad because he said she cried, but he reassured me that it wasn’t my fault. They clearly weren’t meant to be. Because WE ARE! Even Rachel is on board now. She told me that she admires the way I go for what I want and wishes she were more like that. I thought that was a really nice thing to say because sometimes it feels like I’m not very good at anything.

April 20

I’m soooo into Blaine and he feels the same about me. He gave me a note today that said,
Dear Darcy, You look smokin’ today in that dress. I’m thinking about you all the time, and I like it. Love, Blaine.
How sweet is that??? Being with him makes me feel all funny inside. Like my heart races and I get really dizzy. That never happened with Carlos. I wonder if this is a sign of true love?? I am dying to say those three words to him, but want him to tell me first.

May 1

Blaine and I had a long talk about sex. He said he wanted to do it with me prom weekend and admitted that he was a virgin. Which I pretty much knew from snooping through his bag and reading a letter that Cassandra wrote him about “saving herself for marriage.” (How lame is that? What if you marry a guy and he sucks in bed?? What then?? It’s like not test-driving a car.) Anyway, I sort of fibbed and told him that I was a virgin too, ignoring Rachel’s advice that a relationship built on lies will never last in the long run. I agree with her in theory, but this lie is more about protecting his feelings and making his first time more special. In a strange way, Rachel can be a little coldhearted sometimes.

May 28

Prom was amazing. Like the best night of my entire life. My dad rented us a sweet stretch white limo and me, Blaine, Rachel, Annalise, and Ethan all went together. I mean, Blaine and I went together, and those three just tagged along, but it was really fun. We didn’t even drink. (I quit drinking after getting busted with vodka in the Burger King parking lot—at least until after graduation.) Afterwards, Blaine and I made love in the football stadium press box (we got keys from Mark Oftedal, the sports editor of our school newspaper, who I’m friends with from computer lab). So right before we did it, I ended up telling Blaine the truth about Carlos. Rachel was right—I feel so much closer to him after telling him the truth. He hugged me and said he didn’t care about the past. Only the present and the future. How amazing is that? And it was so much better than it was with Carlos. Slower and more romantic and he looked in my eyes the whole time, and afterwards he whispered, I love you. Of course I said it back and then we both started to cry. It is the best feeling in the entire world to be in love. I really hope it lasts forever. I can totally picture marrying Blaine. He’s not the smartest, but I think he’s good enough to play professional baseball. How cool would that be?? Especially if my acting career took off. We’d be unstoppable.

September 16

Senior year!!!!!! I had the best summer ever with Blaine, then we won homecoming king and queen, which was seriously like a dream come true. But lately things have been sort of weird. Since football started, he has been so distant. He said football has to be his top priority, just like cheerleading has to be mine. I said, “Cheerleading isn’t my first priority. You are.” And he said nothing back. In other words, football is more important than me! He never writes me notes anymore or acts like he did last spring. Rachel says maybe that’s what happens when the “newness” wears off. She is in that new stage with Brandon, her first real boyfriend, and watching them together makes me sad and jealous. Not that I’d ever in a million years want to date Brandon, but still. He wants to be around her ALL the time and seems to care about her in a deeper way than Blaine cares about me. I really love Blaine, and I know he loves me, but I need to be put first. Is that so much to ask?

October 10

I just got back from breaking up with Blaine. It was way harder than I thought it would be, especially after he started to say things like “I’ll try harder to make you happy” and “All I know is how much I love you” and “This is all my fault.” I told him not to use words like “fault” and “blame”—one of the lines that Rachel had prepared for me. But he kept begging me not to do it. I almost caved but figured I could always change my mind later, and at the very least, this would give me the power back. Sure enough, he got choked up when he walked me to my car and I took off his letterman jacket and gave it back to him. It’s a shame that it takes losing something to make someone realize how good they had it. He said, “Can I kiss you one more time?” I nodded and leaned into him. His lips were soft and he smelled so good, but I made myself pull away. He wiped away a tear and said he will never find a better kisser. I gave him a sad smile and then a final hug goodbye. Then I got in the car, pressed my palm to the window, and slowly drove away. It was like a scene in a movie, it was so sad. But I still think this is for the best. And now I can go out with Matt Fiore. Matt’s not my usual type—he gets high and loves heavy metal—but something tells me he will put me ahead of Judas Priest and Iron Maiden!