The Dilemma of Charlotte Farrow (32 page)

She nodded.

“I love you, Charlotte,” he said.

“I love you too,” she whispered in response.

He squeezed her hand and was gone.

 33 

D
o you ever think about the baby?”

Flora Banning's question astonished Charlotte as she sliced into the cinnamon coffee cake she was serving in the parlor. No one else was home in the late afternoon on Saturday, but Flora had asked for the usual tea service. Charlotte calmly slid the slice of cake onto a china plate, laid a fork next to it, and handed it to Mrs. Banning, who was sitting in her favorite side chair.

“Yes.” Charlotte answered the direct question.

“I know Emmaline will take good care of him.” Flora picked up the fork. “I'm just unsettled about how it all came to be.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“You looked after him. You must have developed some degree of sentiment.”

“Yes, ma'am. I was fond of him.” How could she deny her feelings?

Charlotte wanted to meld into the floral pattern of the rug under her feet, to slip into one of the crimson blossoms and feel it close around her, to be lost in the intricately woven colors. At the same time, she could almost feel Archie's palpable
nudge. The door was wide open. All she had to do was walk through it.

Tell the truth.

Open your mouth and say, “I love the baby because he's mine.”

Charlotte turned back to the cart and poured Mrs. Banning's tea, adding two spoons of sugar just the way she liked it and stirring thoroughly. She set the tea on the round table next to Mrs. Banning's chair and stepped back to the cart to tidy up.

Flora put down her cake plate and picked up the matching teacup and saucer. “Every time I think of it, my blood boils. Emmaline took advantage of my hospitality and went against my direct wishes. He's a charming child, so it's no mystery that she should become enamored of him, but she's a single woman. He could be in a home where he has both a mother and a father.”

Charlotte moved the sugar bowl over a quarter of an inch, shirking off the sense of Archie's presence in a room he had rarely entered while he served on Prairie Avenue.

Flora sipped her tea. “Samuel has given up his legal investigation, but something tells me this is not over. If I think about it long enough, surely I will come up with some legal ground he could use to recover the child.”

Charlotte swallowed and forced herself to say, “Yes, ma'am.”

“I'm sure Louisa would still take him,” Flora said.

Unexpected courage swelled through Charlotte. “What if his mother turned up?”

“She would have some explaining to do.”

“And what if she had a good reason?”

Flora put her teacup down and stared at Charlotte. “I
would be very interested to hear what would make a mother abandon her child. If you had a child, you would understand how monstrous that is.”

“Yes, ma'am.” The knot in Charlotte's throat enlarged instantaneously.

“I certainly could not imagine walking off and leaving any of my four children.”

“No, ma'am.” Charlotte suppressed a shiver—nearly.

Flora squeezed her eyebrows toward each other. “Charlotte, do you wish to say something?”

Charlotte shook her head.

“You may speak freely with me.”

“I'm sorry, Mrs. Banning. I don't mean to upset you further.”

“Does this have something to do with the child? I do wish I knew his name. I can't bring myself to call him ‘Teddy.' That just reminds me of what Emmaline has done.”

“I . . . I suppose I miss him,” Charlotte finally said. That much was true.

“That's understandable. After the scullery maid proved unreliable as a nanny, his care was left to you.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

Flora put the last of her coffee cake in her mouth and chewed, as if waiting for Charlotte to say more.

Sarah's presence joined Archie's, both of them urging Charlotte forward.

“Mrs. Banning, if I may—”

The front door opened and Leo hastened to close it behind him. He strode immediately across the foyer to the parlor and slid out of his overcoat. “Oh good. Is the tea still hot?”

Charlotte dipped her head respectfully. “Yes, sir. I'll just
get another cup from the dining room.” She scurried out of the room, trembling.

“I couldn't do it!” Charlotte told Archie on Sunday afternoon at Mickey's shop. “I just kept thinking how angry she'll be if she knows I've had a child for more than a year and she didn't know.”

“Surely since she knows the child, she would have compassion for the baby's mother,” Archie responded.

Charlotte shook her head. “I'm not sure. She thinks any woman who would walk away from her child is a horrible monster.”

“You didn't walk away from him.”

“No. I did worse. I gave him away as if he were an expensive toy. I knew Emmaline could afford him and I couldn't.”

“You don't mean that.”

Charlotte put her elbows on the table and hung her head between her hands.

“You thought he was in danger,” Archie reminded her, “and you as well. Someone like Mrs. Banning cannot imagine how difficult that choice was for you.”

“Even you thought it was the wrong thing to do. You didn't speak to me for days.”

Archie took her left hand and forced her to lift her head. “It's only been a few weeks, Charlotte. We can still fix this. Actually, I have good news.”

Charlotte met his brown eyes.

“I've had an official response to my inquiries,” he said. “The State of Illinois has no record of you ever being married. You're perfectly free.”

“But . . . my name. Are you sure you checked under the right name?”

Archie nodded. “You told me Farrow is your grandmother's name. Your maiden name is Charlotte Mae Freeman, and according to the State of Illinois, you have never been married.”

Charlotte put a hand to her mouth.

“You could probably press charges of fraud against Lathan Landers. Clearly he intended to deceive you from the beginning.”

Charlotte shook her head vehemently. “I just want him out of my life.”

“He
is
out of your life, and I am
in
your life. Nothing is holding you back from telling the truth about your son.”

“They'll be so angry,” Charlotte said. “The Bannings, Mr. Penard—everyone. They'll throw me out.”

Archie lifted his shoulders, then dropped them. “So? I have a secure position with a steady salary. I don't care how angry you make them as long as you agree to become my lawfully wedded wife as soon as possible.”

Charlotte laughed and cried at the same time. “You seem awfully sure of yourself.”

Archie lifted the fingers of her left hand to his lips. “I can't give you a diamond—yet—but I can give you my heart, and my promise that you can never make me angry enough to throw you out.”

“I never imagined I could feel this way—not after Lathan.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes!”

Archie leaned in and pressed his lips to Charlotte's, and she put both her arms around him to freely return the kiss.

 34 

C
harlotte was surprised to find the kitchen in an unusually ordered condition when she returned home Sunday evening after her half day off. Judging from the state of readiness for the morning routine, she thought the family must have eaten dinner away from home and the staff supper had been simple. The staff seemed to have scattered to their own diversions, no doubt welcoming the unexpected free hours. Not quite ready to be confined to her narrow room on the third floor, Charlotte took off her cloak and laid it on the back of a kitchen chair. Out of curiosity, she stuck her head in the butler's pantry, where she could see through to the dining room and ascertain that a few electric lights had been left on. She heard no movement or conversation, however. The Bannings were definitely out for the evening. Charlotte returned to the kitchen and sat in the chair under the window where she could put her feet up on a stool.

I'm an engaged woman!

Of course she couldn't tell anyone. At least not yet. And she didn't want to tell anyone. Love was a sensation to savor. Two years ago, when her parents surprised her with a forced wedding, Charlotte had surrendered girlish dreams of love.

He loves me.

And I adore him.

The clanging telephone disturbed her reverie, and Charlotte stood up promptly. Even if technically she was still on her half day off, it seemed sensible to answer the telephone since not another soul was in hearing distance. Mindful of the incessant clatter of the little bell, Charlotte hastened to the foyer and picked up the telephone.

“Good evening. This is the Banning residence.”

“Charlotte? Is that you?”

Charlotte gasped and glanced around to again ensure no one else had responded to the phone's ringing. “Miss Lucy! I'm so glad to hear your voice.”

“I've missed you so much, Charlotte.”

“Where are you, Miss Lucy?”

“New Jersey. We were in a hotel temporarily, but Will has found us some lovely furnished accommodations. Nothing fancy, which is a relief.”

“The house isn't the same without you. I suppose you know Miss Emmaline Brewster was here and stayed in your suite.”

“Mother told me before I left that she had invited Emmaline. When I was little and we visited New Hampshire, I used to follow her around as if she were the Queen of England. But never mind about that. Charlotte, I've tried calling a couple of times, but when Penard answered, I hung up.”

“Why? Your family has been wondering about you. Leo remarked only the other day at breakfast that you never answered his telegram.”

Lucy was silent for a moment. “How could I? I had so many questions for you first, but I couldn't just ask for you on the phone without raising eyebrows.”

“No, I suppose not.” No one would believe that the Bannings' only daughter urgently needed to speak to a maid.

“That's why I sent a letter. Did you get it?” Lucy asked.

“No. Yes. It's a long story, I received it, but it was delayed.”

“You didn't write back. Was I right about what I suspected?”

Charlotte's breath caught. By the time she had gotten the letter, it was too late. “Yes, the child was Henry.”

“Leo's telegram was vague. I couldn't be sure what they intended to do. He said something about Mother's cousin Louisa. I don't believe I've ever met her.”

Charlotte battled for breath, unable to form words.

“Charlotte?” Lucy asked. “What happened? Did they try to give your baby to Cousin Louisa?”

Charlotte's chest tightened.

“Charlotte, say something,” Lucy urged.

“I . . . it's so complicated,” Charlotte finally said. “I don't . . . I can't explain everything that has happened.”

“Charlotte, where is Henry now?”

Charlotte swallowed and moistened her lips. “In New Hampshire.”

“They gave him to Emmaline!”

“No. I did.”

“Oh my goodness, Charlotte. Oh my.”

“I thought it was the best thing,” Charlotte said. “My husband—I saw him here, and Louisa lives in Greenville. That's too close, or I thought it was. New Hampshire . . . well, it seemed . . .”

“Your husband? Are you from Greenville?”

The dam of tears broke free.

Lucy kept saying “Oh Charlotte” over and over, until
finally Charlotte found composure and explained why she had thought she could never send Henry to Greenville.

“We'll get him back,” Lucy said emphatically.

“That's what Archie says,” Charlotte said.

“Archie knows?”

“He didn't want me to do it. He didn't understand. I was so frightened.”

“You must have been. But I'm glad you have someone to talk to, and Archie's right. We will get Henry back. I will deal with Emmaline myself, but you have to tell my parents the truth.”

“But—”

“Don't worry about a position,” Lucy said. “If they have the gall to dismiss you over this, Will and I will take you on the minute we get home. I'd like to, anyway.”

Tears flowed afresh.

“I will deal with Emmaline,” Lucy repeated. “I want you to get a piece of paper and take down this telephone number. After you talk to my parents, they can call me here.”

“Miss Lucy, I don't think I can. I've tried.”

“You have to,” Lucy said. “They should hear it from you. You can call me here as well—anytime day or night. Just reverse the charges. Do you have paper and pen?”

Charlotte hung up the telephone and stared at the numbers written on the paper in her hand. She had never made a telephone call, only answered them. Archie would want to know about this development, but she had no way to reach him. She would have to wait until Thursday afternoon when she could get away from the house on her day off and meet
him at Mickey's for supper. Four days. And she had not even told Lucy about Archie's proposal or his new position at Mr. Glessner's firm.

One thing at a time. Will and Lucy would be back in Chicago for good after New Year's.

Charlotte did not think she would sleep a single minute all night. How could she? She had accepted Archie's marriage proposal and Lucy's offer to help reclaim Henry all in the space of an hour. But she had to do her part.

She had to speak to the Bannings. Soon.

Charlotte shuffled back through the dining room and into the kitchen, where she picked up her cloak and started up the back stairs. A squeak told her that someone had only a moment's head start on her taking the steps up. The hour was not late. It was probably Lina, or perhaps Elsie, who would be waiting up to help Mrs. Banning undress.

Upstairs, Charlotte sank onto her bed, stunned. It seemed pointless even to undress, because surely she would require the entire night to muster her courage for what she must do tomorrow. Charlotte glanced at the nightstand, where her grandmother's Bible had sat unopened for so many weeks now. When she lifted the volume, it felt more solid than she remembered. Half a dozen strips of cardboard marked various passages. Charlotte had not looked at the verses in years. She slipped a finger under the first bookmark and opened to Joshua. Her grandmother had underlined several verses in the first chapter. Charlotte's eye settled on Joshua 1:9: “Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest.”

Courage was exactly what Charlotte needed. She could
not control what would happen when she told the Bannings the truth. But she was tired of being afraid and dismayed. Deep within her, she longed to believe the words she read.

Charlotte knew she ought to acknowledge the knock on her door when she heard the sound a moment later, but she could not find the strength to speak aloud. The knob turned, and Sarah, already in her nightdress, entered.

Charlotte looked up, surprised.

“I heard the telephone ring,” Sarah said bluntly. “I know you answered it, and I know it was Miss Lucy.”

Charlotte sat up on the bed. “I didn't realize anyone was home.”

“She wants you to tell the truth, doesn't she?”

Charlotte nodded.

“You see! I'm right. Archie's right. You have to speak up. Even Miss Lucy thinks so.”

Charlotte rubbed her eyes with both hands. “It's not as simple as that.”

“Yes, it is,” Sarah insisted. “He's your son, and he deserves not to have his mother abandon him. It's as simple as that.”

Charlotte had no response.

“When you tell them,” Sarah said, “just be sure to let them know right away that Lucy already knows. They won't argue about it if they know it's what she wants—getting him back, I mean.”

Charlotte had to admit Sarah was right. Lucy's support knocked out the last pillar of fear threatening her cobbled life.

“Thank you, Sarah,” Charlotte said. “You were kind to speak out and encourage me to do something I'm afraid to do.”

Sarah's eyes widened. “Don't you hate me?”

Charlotte shook her head. “No, I don't hate you. Maybe you're not just here because of Lucy. Maybe God sent you here to help me after all.”

“I never thought of that. Are you sure that's not far-fetched?”

“I'm not sure of anything anymore.”

As Sarah turned and left the room, Charlotte closed the Bible and pressed it against her chest.

Her grandmother was the last person Charlotte was sure had loved her. Until Archie. Her parents had shown the confines of their love when they gave her to Lathan Landers to protect themselves, and Lathan never made any pretense of true affection. But her grandmother's eyes had always lit up when Charlotte entered the room, and the touch of her hand was always welcoming and gentle.

Because of her, I know love. Because of her, I can love. She believed that God loved her. Maybe it's true that God loves me.

Charlotte closed her eyes, breathed deeply, and thought perhaps she might sleep after all.

Charlotte was in the dining room early in the morning, having been up for hours. She outlined the day in her mind. Mr. Banning would be in a hurry to get to the office on a Monday morning, and Mrs. Banning would most likely call for a tray to be brought to her room much later, so Charlotte did not try to persuade herself that breakfast would be the backdrop for her announcement. She simply served the meal as she always did, pouring coffee, scooping eggs, stirring fruit. The morning would pass quickly enough with chores, and Mr. Banning would be home for luncheon as he usually was on Mondays, and she would tell them together.