The Disneyland Book of Secrets 2014: One Local's Unauthorized, Rapturous and Indispensable Guide to the Happiest Places on Earth (100 page)

Like
Esmeralda
,
Fortune Red
doesn’t speak to you; he dispenses your fortune via a colorful little rectangle of cardboard pushed out of a slot on the machine’s belly as if by an invisible hand.

Your fortune, delivered in pirate lingo, is printed on one side o
f the card; historical pirate facts, such as the origin of the “Jolly Roger” skull-and-crossbones pirate flag, are printed on the other.  Not a bad deal for two quarters, that is, pieces of eight!

Fortune Red
was originally part of the
Pirates Arcade Museum
, which opened in
New Orleans Square
in 1967 in the space now occupied by the
Pieces of Eight
shop.  Despite the name,
Pirates Arcade Museum
wasn’t a museum at all; the arcade featured pirate-themed shooting games like
Cap’n Black
,
Captain Hook
, and
Pirates Shoot
.  The arcade closed around 1980.

In late summer of 2009, the eastern end of this store was cleared to welcome a wealth of
Nightmare Before Christmas
and
Haunted Mansion
merchandise.  The space housing
Haunted Mansion
wares and other villainous items is now called
Port Royal Curios and Curiosities
.

Its
merchandise, darkly comic like the
Pirates
merchandise, make the shop a good fit for
Pieces of Eight
. Now
Pirates
and
Haunted Mansion
fans can often find their spooky loot in one entertaining half-block of
New Orleans Square
.

Portrait Artis
ts

[
FastView:
 
Worth the investment if you find an artist whose style you like.
]

Usually stationed off the beaten track, near
Club 33
or near the intersection of
Royal
and
Orléans Streets
,
Disneyland
Portrait Artists
invite you to sit for a spell while they capture Guests in color or black and white, portrait or caricature.

There are a variety of price points based on the type of illustration
, pose, and medium; a serious oil portrait, for example, will be pricier than a caricature or plain sketch.  The image, let alone the optional frame, can be expensive, so get a quote from Cast Members before sitting for your portrait.

As you’ll see based on the examples of the artists’ work
displayed on and around their easels, each portraitist has his or her own technique and skill level.  Some are more cartoonish, some photo-realistic, and some have a soft, idealized style.  Some artists are masterful at rendering an illustration that is clearly you.  Others create excellent work–but the actual resemblance to you is less than uncanny!

Having one’s
portrait made is yet another way of memorializing one’s existence, preserving one’s legacy.  “I was here,” a portrait says.  Typically only the wealthy were able to afford portraits; only with the advent of affordable photographs were the middle and lower classes able to immortalize themselves.

Given
New Orleans Square
’s pervasive themes of wealth, class, art, greed, death, and immortality, it’s fitting that this is one of the districts where you’ll find
Portrait Artists
hard at work, rendering images, whether serious or comical, that freeze-frames Guests at a particular time and place in their lives.

I sat for my
New Orleans Square
pastel portrait in the summer of 2008.  It took about half an hour, which is fast work for such high-quality results.  Paintings take longer; in fact, Guests must return at a later time to pick them up.  It was an enjoyable experience; the artist was diligent but courteous, engaging in small-talk to help pass the time.

The end result? 
The artist made me look a little younger and a little thinner than I really was, but I wasn’t going to complain about that!  The individual features are dead-on, and I’m pleased with the portrait, but somehow the whole isn’t me.  But it’s close enough; and the price was right, and the artist worked quickly and efficiently.

If you want
a portrait made of yourself or a family member, and you have a little money to burn, I highly recommend having one made by a
New Orleans Square Portrait Artist
.  Just remember that you’re at
Disneyland
; the artists are good, but you’re not sitting for John Singer Sargent.  Some Guests are devastated when the sketch of their little one isn’t photo-realistic; be prepared to settle for a decent likeness, or you’re better off not having a portrait made.

Pastel sketches will be carefully rolled and sealed, and you’ll be given instructions for storage and framing.  Listen carefully, lest your work of art gets smudged and smeared into an unexpected Picasso!
  I must confess that I didn’t follow the artist’s instructions to the letter, and, since I kept putting off finding a frame, the picture was rolled up for too long, at less than optimal temperatures.  When I next unrolled the portrait, it was ruined.

Port Royal Curios and Curiosities

[
FastView:
 
Spooky merchandise alternates with high-end ladies’ clothing and accessories.
]

Formerly the northeastern end of the
Pieces of Eight
pirate merchandise shop, this space was cleared in late summer 2009 to welcome the
Nightmare Before Christmas
wares previously sold down the street at
Le Bat En Rouge
.

Named
Port Royal Curios and Curiosities
, in addition to
Nightmare Before Christmas
items, the shop welcomed a wealth of
Haunted Mansion
T-shirts, pins, books, etc. many of which were released in honor of the
Haunted Mansion
’s 40
th
Anniversary in August of 2009.

What happened to all that pirate merchandise?  It was
condensed and added to the adjacent
Royal Courtyard
and southwestern portion of
Pieces of Eight
. 
Port Royal Curios
and Curiosities
is a wonderful addition to
New Orleans Square
.  Located next to the
Royal Street Veranda
and across from the
Royal Street Sweets
cart, it’s the first shop many Guests see when they enter the square.

It
makes a bold visual statement with its period sign lettering, the dark, ragged banners fluttering over the ghoulish merchandise within.  Originally there were life-sized statues of
Jack Skellington
,
Sally
, and
Maleficent
outside the entrance.  Looking for a villainous photo op?  You and your party could pose in front of the benignly spooky
Jack
and
Sally
and baddest-of-them-all
Maleficent
, who gets her own movie in 2014.  But, alas, the statues have been removed.

By summer 2011, the bulk of the
Nightmare
merchandise had returned to
Le Bat En Rouge
.  But
Port Royal Curios and Curiosities
was still your one-stop shop for
Haunted Mansion
wares at a wide range of price points, as well as blinged-out, high-end clothing and accessories.  In early 2013, a legion of
Nightmare
merch–T-shirts, mugs, necklaces, blankets, jackets, keychains, and so much more–had returned to this villainous shop, when
Le Bat En Rouge
went all boutique again.  But by March 2013, the fancy
Disney
duds and accessories (jewelry, scarves, bags) had returned to this shop, and the scary wares were at
Le Bat En Rouge
again.  A Cast Member confirmed that the merchandise, the fancy and the frightful, rotates between the shops, often around Halloween time.  And, what do you know—by mid-September, the
Nightmare
merchandise was back at
Port Royal Curios and Curiosities
—again.

Whatever’s on sale here when you visit, y
oung fans with only a few
Disney Dollars
to spare will find plenty of trinkets here that they can afford, especially in the bins near the counters.  Grown-up collectors with a big budget can amass a scary hoard of purchases.

Nightmare
and
Haunted Mansion
-themed shot glasses, mugs, pins, rings, bracelets, keychains, books, DVDs, hats, scarves, gloves, earmuffs, T-shirts, sweatshirts, blankets, figurines, and more are all available when things are frightful, while the same types of items, with princess, fairy, and
Minne
themes, are available when the stock rotates. 
Did You Know?
 
Port Royal
is the fictional port of
Disney
’s live action
Pirates of the Caribbean
films. 
Elizabeth Swann
’s father, the governor, was based in
Port Royal
and it’s there that the action of the series begins. 
Did You Also Know?
  The
Haunted Mansion
is over 40 years old now!  How time flies, even for ghosts.  The middle-aged mansion celebrated its 40
th
birthday on August 9, 2009 with new merchandise designed by popular artist
Shag
;
Shag
even dropped by
Main Street
for Guest meetings, autographs and merchandise signing.  Still no comment from the
Ghost Host
!

Royal Courtyard

[
FastView:
 
A nook worth a look.
]

In a land of obscure passages and nooks, the
Royal Courtyard
is an interesting little area sandwiched between
Port Royal Curios
and Curiosities
and
Pieces of Eight
(your one-stop pirate outlet;
arrrgh
!).

It’s not the merchandise that’s the big draw here.  The
Royal Courtyard
displays a few
Haunted Mansion
and
Pirates of the Caribbean
-themed shirts and knick-knacks, and this is one of many spots in the park where you can pick up an inexpensive plastic poncho (about $10) to shield you from sudden rainy season downpours.  There’s a small cart full of plastic jewels and coins; kids can fill a little bag with this loot for about $7.

That’s good stuff, but the main attraction of the
Royal Courtyard
is its shady, moody atmosphere.  Shadows dapple this area, even on sunny days.  A narrow staircase against the back wall stretches up to an unseen second level, off-limits to Guests.  Pressed into the wall is one of
New Orleans Square
’s many niches, and within it a time-worn, garlanded stone funeral urn.  This is the kind of darkly beautiful artistic detail that you find all over
New Orleans Square
, reminding us of mortality around each corner.

One of the
Royal Courtyard
’s most famous attractions is separated from the courtyard by an iron grill, and must be accessed directly from
Royal Street
.  In a recessed foyer stands a battered-looking fortune-telling machine similar to
Esmeralda
of
Main Street
’s
Penny Arcade
.

Fortune Red
is a psychic (and, one surmises, barely literate) pirate in a glass case topped by a skull in a red kerchief. 
Fortune Red
appears to have had a rough life, not uncommon for pirates.  Despite the fancy jewel and gold braid on his black pirate hat, despite his fancy white ruffle, he has the sunburned, wind-burned, scoured appearance of a misfortunate old sea salt, and his mouth is fixed in a bitter grimace that wouldn’t go amiss if it sought orthodontic assistance.

Red
–the last remaining artifact of the
Pirates Arcade Museum
that once filled the space now occupied by
Pieces of Eight–
looks fearsome, but if you put two quarters in the slot, the merry strains of
Yo Ho (A Pirate’s Life For Me)
will begin to play and
Red
’s weathered hand will begin to circle his elaborate treasure map as he seeks your fortune.  Round and round goes
Red
’s pointing finger, and round and round goes the disconcerting, glowing red eye of
Red
’s pet skull!

When both stop spinning, a
colorful little rectangle of cardboard slides out of a slot near the bottom of the machine.  Printed on one side is your fortune, framed in the fearsome, slangy idiom of the pirate world.  Printed on the other side is a historical fact about pirate life.  Did you know, for example, that the phrase “Jolly Roger” is a probably a corruption of “Joli Rouge,” meaning “pretty red”?  That’s what French pirates called the red flag that meant they’d be giving no mercy to their prey.  Red equals blood–
comprenez vous
?  The name got distorted to “Jolly Roger” and came to mean any pirate flag, including the black skull-and-crossbones flag we typically associate with pirates.

I discovered one of the most interesting things about the
Royal Courtyard
during a trip a couple of years ago; a Cast Member pushing a cart appeared, seemingly out of thin air, near
Fortune Red
and gave me quite a scare (inadvertently, of course).  Like many other areas of
New Orleans Square
(and other parts of the park), the
Royal Courtyard
has secret access to
backstage
areas, including the massive below-stage
New Orleans Square
complex.  The Cast Member emerged from an elevator behind a door that, like most
backstage
doors, hides in plain sight, painted to blend seamlessly into the surrounding environment.

When you’re in
Port Royal Curios and Curiosities
or
Pieces of Eight
, don’t forget to pop into the
Royal Courtyard
that links them.  And if you have a chance, and if he’s still there, tell
Fortune Red
I said “Argh!” and that he owes me a quarter from my January 2013 trip, when the machine took my coin but didn’t dispense a fortune!

Royal Street Swee
ts

[
FastView:
 
Sweets, snacks, and glowy gadgets; lines are usually short.
]

Like
Stromboli’s Wagon
in
Fantasyland
,
Royal Street Sweets
is a vendor’s cart with treats and knick-knacks themed to the area.  Parked at the east end of
Royal Street
, between the
Royal Street Veranda
and
Café Orléans
, this cart has been soothing Guests’ sweet tooths and cravings for feathery masks and boas since 1995.

Beyond New Orleans-themed goodies, this is a great place to pick up the glowing necklaces and glowing ears that
Guests don when night falls.  At only about $5 - $10 each, this glow-wear is one of the park’s bargains.  There are different colored lights (purple, blue, green, red and amber) and a choice of settings that let you decide whether you want the lights to loop, strobe, dither, or all of the above.

Craving a r
ainbow lollipop? 
Royal Street Sweets
has it, as well as bags of delicious popcorn and other treats, making this is a great place to pause for a quick snack if the queue at the
Royal Street Veranda
across the way is mobbed.

As of autumn 2009, feathery
Mardi Gras
wear seems to have been supplanted by tall blue
Mickey Sorcerer’s Apprentice
caps and giant white
Mickey
gloves, which makes sense given the proximity of the
Fantasmic!
show in which
Mickey
appears in his
Sorcerer’s Apprentice
role.  You never know exactly what fun seasonal goods you’ll find at this little stand!