The Disneyland Book of Secrets 2014: One Local's Unauthorized, Rapturous and Indispensable Guide to the Happiest Places on Earth (51 page)

When you board the
Mark Twain
, you’ll find yourself on the lowest passenger deck, where caged engines exude the warm, sweet perfume of the boat’s eco-friendly fuel:  It’s biodiesel, that is, repurposed cooking oil.  If you want a comfortable seat with a grand view, make your way immediately to the bow (the front of the boat) where delicate ice-cream parlor chairs are arrayed in a horseshoe formation.  If you’re feeling spry and adventurous, climb one of the staircases up to the progressively smaller upper decks, and stand along the rails fore or aft, port or starboard–there’s something interesting to see in any direction.

If the weather is inclement, or
if you want a taste of what it felt like to sit in a salon aboard the great river boats, you’ll find small facsimiles of such salons on the upper decks.  With their pink and scarlet upholstery the chambers are a charming nod to the past; they’re small, however, not for the claustrophobic, and don’t provide the view you’ll get standing out on deck.

The voyage is 15 – 16 minutes, and it’s a pip. 
You feel the paddle churn and the boat begin to push itself forward on the water, and that
frisson
of excitement that accompanies the commencement of every voyage runs up your spine.  A voice emanating from unseen speakers calls “Engine room:  Ahead one quarter!”  The bell rings and the whistle blows.

You
glide from
Frontierland
past the tiered crescent banks of
New Orleans Square
.  From the port (left) decks you have an unrivaled view of the gracious New Orleans architecture, with its winding streets and wrought-iron balcony railings, its
Mardi Gras
performers and jazz combo.  Guests along the shore look up, smile, and wave at the riverboat and its passengers.

A narrator
begins a series of remarks that continue throughout the cruise, explaining the landmarks that the boat passes, and sharing historical facts about riverboats and frontier life in general.

The starboard (that’s the right) side of the river boat always
faces the greenery of
Tom Sawyer Island
.  Guests on that side of the boat can catch glimpses of the mill, boat landings, the entrances to mysterious grottos, two canoes secreted on the bank behind a screen of greenery, a remote settler’s cabin, live ducks, mechanical woodland animals, a Native American village, pontoon and suspension bridges, and the treehouse that crowns the island’s highest peak.

Guests on the port side of the boat see more civilization than wilderness, beginning with
New Orleans Squa
re, as described above.  That view soon gives way to the stately but spooky
Haunted Mansion
, the distinctive silhouette of
Splash Mountain
’s
Chickapin Hill
, and the decks of the
Hungry Bear Restaurant
.  (If you look carefully, you can glimpse
Splash Mountain
travelers in their hollow logs in a channel down by the river.)

Then there
’s only wilderness:  Trees, and more trees, and animals both live and mechanical.  It’s as serene an experience as one can find in the park.  For a few moments, you could be drifting along any American river in the heart of a great American wilderness.  The illusion gives you a taste of what early river travelers felt when steaming through the long expanses of uninhabited forest between ports, the sometimes beautiful, sometimes unnerving woodland solitude that Charles Dickens described in his 1841 travelogue “American Notes”.

When the journey concludes, the beautiful boat halts at the riverboat landing, and the process of debarking begins.  If you
’re on an upper deck, it might take a while for the lower deck crowds to disperse.  Relax.  Be patient, and listen to Cast Member instructions.  Revisit the leisurely pace of a bygone day. 
Did You Know?
  Irene Dunne, leading lady of the 1936 film “Show Boat,” christened the
Mark Twain
on opening day by breaking a bottle of water across its bow.  It wasn’t just tap water; it was a mingling of waters from mighty American rivers.  Dunne had a little trouble breaking the bottle, but she prevailed.
Did You Also Know?
  The original narrator of the cruise along the
Rivers of America
was famous voice actor and
Disney Legend Thurl Ravenscroft
.  Unless you were raised in a remote cave, you heard him voice Tony the Tiger for Frosted Flakes Cereal.  Among the many credits on his impressive CV, Guests might be most interested to learn that he is the main singer of
Grim Grinning Ghosts
at the
Haunted Mansion
.  That resonant bass is unmistakable!  Some Guests might recognize him as the voice of
Kirby
the vacuum cleaner in
Disney
’s
The Brave Little Toaster
animated films. 
Thurl
passed away on May 22, 2005. 
Did You Also Know?
  There’s a riverboat at
Walt Disney World
, too; called the
Liberty Square Riverboat
, Guests find it in the
Magic Kingdom Park
.
Bayou Vision:
  From November 2009 through New Year’s Day 2010, the
Mark Twain
was temporarily transformed into a showboat in celebration of the release of the New Orleans-based animated feature
The Princess and the Frog
. 
Tiana’s Showboat Jubilee!
featured
Princess Tiana
and
Prince Naveen
, a
Mardi Gras
-style procession to the riverboat, and festive dancing, singing, and jazz music from the film. At each performance, a lucky handful of Guests were invited onto the riverboat and given props and costumes so that they became part of the show!
Night Vision:
  The
Mark Twain
rarely carries passengers in the evening.  Before darkness falls, all watercraft on the river are closed to Guests.  However, if you watch
Fantasmic!
you’ll see the great
Mark Twain
play a prominent role in the finale, bearing full decks of beloved
Disney
characters. 
FastPass:
  No. However, no
FastPass
is needed for this attraction.  Capable of holding up to 350 passengers, and making multiple 15-and-a-half minute journeys each hour, you’ll seldom need to wait longer than 10 – 15 minutes to board this sternwheeler. 
Kid’s Eye View:
It’s kind of boring unless you get to be on the top deck.  If you look out at the sights it’s pretty and relaxing.

Pirate’s Lair on Tom Sawyer Island

[
FastView:
 
A playground for Guests of all ages, far from the mainland crowds.  No shops, no restaurants, just fun.  Rediscover your inner
Tom
or
Huck
.
]

Tom Sawyer Island
was still an undeveloped isle when the park opened in 1955, but by June of 1956, less than a year later, it was opened to the public.  Originally considered as a possible
Mickey Mouse Island
or
Treasure Island
,
Walt
decided it would be
Tom Sawyer
’s land, and
Walt
personally designed it.

O
ne of the park’s gems, it’s hidden in plain sight.  First-time Guests, even repeat Guests, might not realize that the lovely green island at the heart of the
Rivers of America
is more than merely decorative.

Accessible by
engine-powered rafts that depart from the southwestern riverbank every five minutes or so until twilight, the island offers serene, shady nooks for those who want to relax, gentle trails to ramble, and exciting labyrinths of caves, grottos, bridges, and a pirates’ lair for the young and the young at heart.

The rafts are piloted by Cast Members clad in the trad
itional shabby shirt, shorts, straw hat, and neckerchief.  A note of caution about the rafts; they can be herky-jerky in their movements, so hang onto something (or someone) steady, and hold onto your little ones.  Secure your valuables, too; workers refurbishing the
Rivers of America
in spring 2010 found literally hundreds of cell phones, walkie-talkies, and
Ear Hats
on the drained river bottom!

The journey to and from the island only takes a couple of minutes in real time, but it transports you to another world, a literary and archetypal playground world brought to life.

The island is every child’s fantasy of a place to slip away from dull grown-ups and run wild, especially in recent years.  In 2007 the island underwent a makeover so that the pirate motif, already present in the
Tom Sawyer
novel and in the original attraction, was made more robust and seamlessly linked to
Disney
’s
Pirates of the Caribbean
films (hence the attraction’s name change to
Pirate’s Lair on Tom Sawyer Island
).

Guests
land near
Lafitte’s Tavern
(formerly
The Old Mill
or
Harper’s Mill
), which they cannot enter, and where, periodically,
The Bilge Rats
, a fearsome lot of pirate singers, regale Guests with pirate chanteys.

The island is so rich with sights and activities that you and your little ones could literally spend hours there.  On days when the park is
thronged and blazing hot, that’s just what you ought to do.  The landscape and activities are inspired by the famous Mark Twain book “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,” as well as the
Pirates of the Caribbean
films, and offer a fun, tree-shaded break from the bustle of the park’s mainland.

At the highest point on the island
(once the highest point in the park), only a short hike from the raft landing, is
Tom & Huck’s Treehouse
, one of the touches personally designed by
Walt
and a feature of the isle since it opened in 1956.  Narrow ladders and stairways twist up through the hollow trunk to the small treehouse atop the tree.  Children and fit adults can–and do–navigate the ladders and stairs with ease.  The treehouse isn’t merely for children–it’s for the child in all of us.  On one visit I observed two cheerful Guests in their late middle years, sisters, it seemed, from Britain, strolling around the base of the tree, absolutely charmed by it.  One of the white-haired women gamely ventured up into the treehouse, and the other one snapped a photo from the ground below.  Everywhere I went on the island that day I seemed to encounter this happy pair, delightedly peeking into the caves, turning the winch, crossing the perilous bridges.  They fully embraced the island’s transformative power to sweep one back to childhood.

But about the treehouse: 
It’s not that there’s anything of particular interest inside it, just a kiddie-size ship’s wheel and a caricature of a pirate.  The treehouse has the bare-bones, rough-hewn look of a structure built by children in the 1800’s.  The fun lies in the act of ascending the tree, and the lovely view of the
Rivers of America.

Every child has or wants a treehouse. 
Treehouses are traditionally places that children design, and where they gather (well above and away from the lusterless imaginations of adults) to read comics, play cards, tell tall tales, and just
be
.  A treehouse is a seat of limitless childhood imaginations.  Appropriately, a treehouse is a central image in
Disney
’s live-action ode to the power of imagination,
Bridge To Terabithia
.

At
the base of the
Tom & Huck Treehouse
tree, multiple streams pour from its gnarled roots to tumble down the hills in rushing rivulets, a lovely visual metaphor for creativity.  These streams feed the creeks and ponds that stipple the island and ultimately flow out into the
Rivers of America
.

When I met
the CFO of a new, patient-centered medical facility at a financial leadership meeting in 2012, it came as no surprise to me to learn that as a boy growing up in Southern California he loved the freedom and fun of running wild on
Tom Sawyer Island
.  Children with vibrant imaginations and positive attitudes become adults who craft and administer extraordinary environments–in this case an affordable hospital where
everything
revolves around the needs of the patients and their families.  Nurturing creativity in youth, which
Disney
accomplishes so well, inspires successive generations of creative leaders.

Adults might appreciate the symbolic significance of
the treehouse; for kids it’s just plain fun.  Little ones clamber up and down the tree again and again, smiling and laughing, until their time-shackled parents finally call them away.

Tom & Huck’s Treehouse
is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of island activities.  If your tree-climbing days are behind you (or never were), there are level paths to wander, lined with wild flowers and pleasing river views, and there are picnic tables and benches where you can rest.

For those more actively inclined,
the tree-shaded island is like a kid’s wilderness fantasy brought to life.  This is
Disney
at its best, making our fondest dreams come true on grand scale.

You can pose in a giant skull-and-bones cage based on the one that confines
Captain Jack Sparrow
in
Disney
’s film
Pirates of the Caribbean 2
.  (For a fun memento, ask another Guest to snap a photo of you and your entire party in the cage.)

Th
ere are winding paths, a swaying, rickety-looking plank suspension bridge, a barrel bridge (known as the “floating bridge” or “pontoon bridge”), a sunken treasure chest that one reveals by vigorously pumping water, and another sunken chest of gold that can only be revealed by turning a winch (children often help each other with this task).  This treasure chest, when it’s lifted aloft, reveals a grisly skeletal tag-a-long that provides one of the park’s many darkly comic visual warnings about the futility of greed.

The
slender central spine of the island is riddled with caves.  The southernmost, marked
Dead Man’s Grotto
, is entered through its western cave mouth.  Broad enough to accommodate adults as well as children, the grotto is a dim and spooky environment that might frighten small children and prove treacherous for the elderly or frail; be sure to take their hands, and be sure they are
really
willing to enter the grotto, as, especially during crowded times, it’s tough to turn back once started.

Part of the 2007 refurb, this cavern
has many old-school scares and surprises achieved via high-technology:  The audibly beating heart of
Davy Jones
(see what happens if you try to touch the cask that contains it!); a bony hand that pops out of nowhere; frightening whispers and mutterings; the squeals of bats; a holographic ghost that appears and disappears (“So, you come seekin’ treasure?” it asks you, an echo of the skull that greets you on the
Pirates of the Caribbean
adventure).

Your eyes will be dazzled by the glitter of gold from softly lit treasure nooks (and somehow
Elizabeth Swann
’s diary was secreted in one treasure cache).  The secret to this grotto, as to so many
Disneyland
attractions, is to touch everything; tactile curiosity is the trigger for most of the effects.  That old parental adage, “See with your eyes, not with your hands,” does not apply here!  In fact, some stretches of the grotto are so dim, you will find yourself putting forth a hand to navigate your way around the next turn.

You emerge on the eastern side of the island near picnic tables that overlook the riverboat landing, and near o
ne of the island’s two sets of rest rooms.  This grotto exit was originally the entrance, back when
Dead Man’s Grotto
was
Injun Joe’s Cave
, named for the villain of the Twain novel.  From this point, you can head north toward the bridges and treasure of
Smuggler’s Cove
.

Also n
orth of
Dead Man’s Grotto
are two fairly extensive cave networks that are topped by a play fort that looks as if
Tom
and Huck or the “Lord of the Flies” children constructed it out of items cast ashore from a shipwreck, including speaking tubes, spyglasses, barrels marked “Ale”, “Rum,” and “Water,” and the entire aft portion of a ship.

The caves
(like so much of the island) are images lifted directly from children’s dreams as much as from Twain’s “Tom Sawyer” novel.  The tunnels seem to wind on forever, not only laterally, but climbing up and spiraling down within chimneys of rock, the tallest being
Castle Rock
.  Children go wild with joy clambering through the caves.

Adults be forewarned:  T
he
zaftig
(heavy-set) cannot fit through many of the passages, and the out-of-shape could get temporarily wedged, or at least give their elbows and knees and foreheads a good smack or two.  The claustrophobic of any age should avoid entering the caves altogether.

These caverns, while incredibly dim and narrow at certain points, occasionally flare out into larger spaces that are accessible to adults.  One of these areas contains one of the island’s
many treasure chests.  Since many adults will be unwilling or unable to navigate the caves, it’s not a bad idea to set a mutually accessible meeting time and place with your little ones, then let them run wild in the caves while you do something else.  Very small children who want to explore should be entrusted in the care of an elder sibling, friend, or cousin as the cave routes can be confusing and even scary.

The cave networks and the paths that flank them terminate at
Pirate’s Lair
, in the shadow of the now sealed and defunct
Fort Wilderness
.  In times past Guests could explore
Fort Wilderness
and apparently there were even secret passages between the fort and the caves.  Now the log fort is merely a picturesque landmark above the dazzling glimmer of
Pirate’s Lair
.

If your visit is timed right, you and your little ones might encounter that famous pirate himself, none other than
Captain Jack Sparrow
, lounging with his usual devil-may-care charm among the lair’s giant Jolly Roger flag and thousands of golden coins and treasures (which are, alas, not real). 
Captain Jack
will sign autographs and pose for photos.  As always, there is no fee for character autographs and photo poses, unless you have an official
Disneyland Photographer
take the photo (in which case you’ll pay for any prints at the
Main Street Photo Supply Co
. or online). Check online or with a Cast Member for
Jack
’s character appearance times.  He has not appeared in quite awhile, but
Disneyland
often revives shows and character events. 
Jack
would be most likely to reappear to coincide with the release of
Pirates 5
in 2015.

A path looping upward and southward from
Pirate’s Lair
leads one to the island’s second set of rest rooms.  There is a wheelchair elevator for those who cannot navigate the sloping trail.