The Doppelgänger: A Psychological Thriller (15 page)

“Darcy,” her father’s low voice said. His face blurred as tears lined her eyes. The images of the red barn wilted away. She held onto Dan’s arm for support.

“Dad…how are you?” She asked, moving closer to him.

“Better than yesterday,” he replied with a twinkle in his eye. “The doctor says I can go home in a day or two.”

A sense of lightness spread over Darcy’s chest. Her father was as sarcastic and lively as she remembered. It didn’t matter that they hadn’t seen each other in eight years. His eyes softened a bit.

“It’s good to see you again. I thought you’d left New York for good.” He said with a smile. How could she leave when so many memories lingered in her hometown? She swallowed the urge to question her father about the red barn she pictured in her mind. She wanted to ask him about her mother but this was not the time or place.

“I’m glad to see you’re okay.” Darcy said. She sat on the edge of the bed and took her father’s arm in hers. They were wrinkled and large. He had grown old after all. She closed her hand over his. He shifted and turned to her. She moved closer to him. He embraced her. Darcy settled her chin on his shoulder. “I missed you dad.”

“Me too. I missed you every Christmas and New Year. You’ve gotta come and see this old man once in a while.”

“I’m sorry.” Darcy said. She backed off.

“You look tired.”

“I drove all night,” she said.

“Go home and rest.”

“But-”

“I need to get some sleep too.” He said. He turned to Dan. “You must be tired too. Go home. The keys are with Mrs. Singh.” 

“Will you fine alone?” Dan asked.

“You’re treating me like a kid!” dad said. “Remember, I’m the parent here.”

Dan and Darcy smiled. They said goodbye and headed out of the room.

Chapter 18

Darcy awoke to the smell of coffee. A ray of light emerged from the window. She sat up on the bed. Her eyes moved across the room. She pushed the white bedsheets away. Her feet landed on the floor. The scenery before her remained unchanged.

She stepped into the shower. She washed her skin. The warm water soaked into her body. She scrubbed herself clean of last night’s memory. She lingered in the shower before stepping out and dressing up.

Darcy stood in the middle of her bedroom which was connected to the shower. The blinds were closed, blocking light from outside. The small, yellow light on the ceiling illuminated the room. Darcy’s eyes traced the ruffled duvet and bedsheets that lay crumped on the single bed. There were photos of her in high school and another one of her graduation ceremony that dad had put up. She passed through the photos, without feeling any emotion. The wooden table and the guitar nestled close to each other. They were all pieces of the puzzle that was her past.

The suburban house stood in the middle of a residential neighborhood in Smithtown. It was surrounded by other free-standing houses with a lawn and garage. Darcy had lived in an apartment for so long that living in an independent house appeared like a distant dream.

Her phone beeped. She turned to it.

Brian

Check the blog,

Darcy accessed My Diary on her phone. She hurriedly scrolled down the page. A new post was up. Her eyes scanned the page.

This time, it was an image of a bank. Darcy’s eyes registered the image. It was the Bank of America on Michigan Avenue. She recognized it from the picture. That was where her mother worked. Darcy read the bright, white letters on the page.

The Visit

A visit to the bank is not something I usually talk about. But this one was different. I didn’t go to the bank to get money. I went there to see someone- someone I’ve wanted to see for a long time.

I casually walked in through the door and there she was. Her blue eyes. Her soft blonde hair. The subtle scent of magnolia. Alive.

It was not a coincidence. It was not deja vu. It was destiny. It was my destiny to meet her again.

Darcy’s heartbeat escalated. She turned away. The dull ceiling and wallpapered walls met her gaze. She was in her old room. Every corner brought back memories she was trying to hide from.

She focused on her phone.

There are no words to describe something like that. My life has found meaning again. The blood frozen in my veins flowed through my body, again. The jammed reel of my memory begun to move. All the lies that I believed vanished in a second.

But, she didn’t recognize me. The person I spent all my life looking for didn’t recognize me. I didn’t know whether to be disappointed or glad. I discussed my account details like we were strangers.

I said everything except what I should’ve said. I didn’t have the courage to tell her who I was. I wasn’t sure she’d want to see me.

So, I left. Every minute after that, I thought of her. I needed to tell her who I was. So, we meet again.

The post ended abruptly. Darcy against the bed, inhaling the smell detergent. The phone remained clutched in her hands. Her doppelgänger had met her mother. Jillian had seen her doppelgänger last night. Uneasiness pulsed in her belly.

She heard a soft knock on the door.

“Come in.” she said. The door opened. Dan stood behind it, wearing a new set of clothes.

“Want some coffee?” he asked. Darcy’s eyes turned to the wall clock. It was five in the evening. She had a long nap.

“Yes.” She said. She placed the phone on the bed and began to make her way down the stairs.  Dan followed her.

“Do you think we should go see dad after coffee?” Darcy asked.

“I called up the hospital,” he said. “He’s sleeping.”

“Oh. All right,” Darcy said, pouring herself some coffee. She leaned on the kitchen counter and looked at Dan. “How long are you planning to stay?”

“Until Sunday,” he said. “And you?”

“Me too.” She reminded herself that she had an appointment with Detective Jones the following week.

“Ummmm… I feel bad leaving dad alone especially now that mom-” he stopped and looked at Darcy’s bewildered face. “I mean, he’s growing old.”

“Hmmmm….” Darcy sipped some coffee as a moment of uncomfortable silence persisted. She looked up at Dan who sat on the dining table. “Dan, what happened to mom?”

Dan stared at her, blank. “Why are you asking about mom all of a sudden?” he asked.

“I…” Darcy paused. “I thought she was dead.”

“What!? Who told you that?”

“I wonder,” she said, scratching her head. He gave her a strange look. “Dad told me she was alive the last time we spoke.”

“You didn’t know until then. God, sis, have you been hallucinating again?”

“Again?” she asked.

“I mean…mom never died, you know?”

“Why doesn’t she live with us anymore?” Darcy asked. Anxiety tightened in her belly as she waited for Dan’s answer. He rubbed his eyes and drank some coffee.

“They divorced,” he said. “They divorced while we were still in school.”

“Divorced?” Darcy had no memories of her parents’ divorce. “And dad had the custody?”

“Yes. She left after the divorce. She didn’t say where she went. I haven’t seen her after she left.”

“Why did she leave?” Darcy asked.

“I never asked dad why they divorced…uh… I was only nine when she left. I don’t remember.” He said. Darcy sensed the hesitation in his voice. He was hiding something. Her heartbeat sped up.

“Dad said she was sick,” She said, covering the silence. “He said she wanted to stay away from me.”

“Sis…” Hopelessness filled Dan’s eyes. She was right. Her mother abandoned her. She couldn’t believe it but her intuition had warned her.

“I’m sure she had her reasons,” he said in a throaty voice.

“What reasons?” Darcy asked, sharply. Dan set the mug of coffee on the table and avoided making eye contact. Darcy’s ears were acutely aware of his uneven breath. He was not telling her everything.

“Let’s go see dad.” He said.

“Don’t change the topic.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Tell me the truth,” she said. Her heart slowed down. The silence sank into her ears. She steadied her breath. “What happened fifteen years ago?”

His jaw dropped open. “I don’t remember much. I was younger than you.” he said, still hesitating.

“But you heard about it from Dad, didn’t you?” Darcy asked. “You said I used to hallucinate.”

Silence. Darcy heard Dan sigh.

“Can’t we forget about it. In a sense, I’m glad you don’t remember anything. There’s nothing to be gained from re-visiting the past.”

“What are you hiding from me?” she sounded neurotic. Her hands were shaking. Dan’s eyes moved to her hands. She quickly pulled her hand away from the table and hid it behind her body. The heart beat like a hammer against her ribcage. Dan’s eyes remained on the table.

“Why do I remember a barn?” Darcy pursued.

“Barn? I’ve never heard of that.” Dan said.

“Tell me what you know.”

“I remember you were kidnapped when you were fifteen,” he said.

“Kidnapped?” Darcy asked, trying to keep her face still.

“We were all worried. Mom was paranoid. She called the police when you didn’t come home from school that night.”  He went on.

“Wasn’t she kidnapped too?”

Dan’s eyes enlarged “No. She wasn’t kidnapped.”

Darcy saw her reflection in the still puddle of coffee that filled the porcelain mug. She raked her hair. Her memory failed her. She didn’t remember anything about being kidnapped. She took a deep breath and calmed herself.

“Did the police find me?” she asked.

“No. You came back on your own.”

“What?”

“You returned home a day after your disappeared,” he said. “I remember there was blood on your dress. Your face was scratched. You were very quiet. Mom asked you what happened, but you didn’t say anything. You just went into your room and shut the door.”

“So, did the police find out what happened?”

“I think they found the kidnappers. I don’t remember who they were. But, whatever happened to you during those hours affected you deeply,” he paused. “You began to see things that didn’t exist. The hallucinations got worse. You’d wake up at night because you thought the house was burning down.”

Dan’s words echoed in her hollow skull. Her headache intensified. The throbbing pain was followed by a momentary numbness. Her mother’s face floated in her memory. It was surreal and distant. The images faded into the asylum. Again. She saw herself sitting on the white bed. Her vision filled with red, shredded walls. The painful echoes filled her ears. Her closed fists banged on the table. The sensation of pain eluded her.

“Sis? Are you okay?” Dan’s concerned voice split her vision into two. Echoes of his voice hit against the walls and vanished.

She opened her eyes. Dan’s face twisted into psychedelic shapes. The ribbon of darkness below the street lights became a cigarette lighter in her hand. Her small, bruised fingers held onto the cigarette lighter. Her heart clutched with fear. She flicked it open. A dot of flame warmed her skin.

The empty fear in her heart built up to a climax. Her eyes opened. She was lying on the floor, surrounded by stacks of hay. Her eyes moved to the dark figures next to the stacks of hay. Her eyes edged closer to the shadow. She gasped.

She saw two dead men, lying on the floor. A knife was inserted into the stomach of one while the other had been stabbed. The blood was fresh. The image of red pounded in her brain. She shook her head, trying to bring herself back to reality. The vision continued.

A wolf howled in the distance. She dropped the lighter, in a state of panic. It ignited the stack of hay that burst out into flames. She shut her mouth with her hands. Flames encircled the dead bodies like a wreath.

She ran. She ran to the wooden door. The barn was collapsing on her. She pushed the large door open. Her small, fifteen-year-old body struggled against the weight of the heavy door.

She escaped through the narrow opening in the door. The night sky greeted her. It was filled with stars but she only saw the darkness. It moved toward her, airy but all-consuming as a dark cloud. She ran. She ran through the wilderness. The grass became trees. She stopped when she reached the cliff.

The hem of her jeans was lined with blood. She was breathless. Her fingers were bruised. A scab formed over her palm. Her eyes fell on the barn that was engulfed by flames. Ashes of her past melted into the damp ground.

Her eyes opened jerkily. Her breathless, sweaty face examined its reflection in the window glass. She was still in the car. The scenery remained unchanged.

Darcy’s eyes moved to her reflection in the cup of coffee. She saw limp brown hair, terrified hazel eyes, a ghost of a frown and darkness. Beads of sweat erupted on her temples.

Her eyes turned to the Dan who stood there, in shock. She coughed violently.

“Sis? Did you remember something?” he asked, his eyes filled with concern and suspicion.

The wooden table rubbed against her skin, amplifying her fear. She turned abruptly.

An invisible hourglass ticked with the clock. The desire to discover the truth made her heart beat a little faster. Dan’s words. The visions. Her mother. Nothing made sense.

Darcy lay on the soft, white bed that night. Dan’s words replayed in her mind. Her mother was avoiding her. Her mother hated her. Those were the first thoughts that filled her mind. Did her mother know what happened when she was kidnapped? The images were disjointed pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that she was trying to put together. So, she had been hallucinating for sometime. She turned on the bed. The closed bathroom door met her gaze, illuminated by the moonlight.

She had longed for her mother all her life. Now that she was alive, she didn’t want to meet. Darcy needed to look at her medical records. Her father’s words hinted that the answer she sought lay in them. Dan and Dad were not telling her the truth. There must be a reason why.

Darcy woke up at 4:00 AM the next morning after a turbulent night. She walked out of her bedroom, stealthily, making sure not to disturb Dan. The house was quiet. The scenery outside the window was dark that that hour.  She traced her steps to her father’s room. She stood outside the white wooden door. Just standing outside the door sparked strange sensations in her body. Something had happened there.

Darcy walked into the room. It was quiet and dark. She turned on the lights, illuminating a lonely double bed, a wardrobe, a desk and a stack of drawers. She approached the desk which had a few papers strewn over it. Her eyes darted to the bottom drawer. She remembered her father always locked it when she was a child. Her hands moved to the handle. She pulled it open.

Inside the dusty drawer lay a pile of old papers.  She looked through the papers and stumbled across a beige envelope at the bottom. Her mother’s name and the house address were written on it. She pulled it out and dusted it. The large envelope was open. She pulled a pile of papers out.

Darcy turned the yellow pages. Every detail of her mother’s excruciatingly long mental health record was on display for her hazel eyes to see. Her breath caught in her throat, she read the report.

Date: 12/10/1995

Name of Patient: Ms. Jennifer Scott 

DOB: 08/07/1960

Sex: Female

Medical History:

Diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1995.

Her eyes froze on the words. Her eyeballs didn’t move beyond that sentence. She read the words again, her fingers underlining the sentence. She titled her head back and examined it form the distance. It was the same.

When the realization sank in, her breath began to speed up. This was what dad warned her about. Darcy didn’t know why reading those words ignited a visceral response.

Her mother was bipolar. And, she didn’t know.

Questions flooded her mind. How? When? Why? What? Where?

She read through the rest of the report.

Post-natal depression.

She helplessly looked at the fading image papers which were rapidly engulfed by darkness. Another vision. The darkness solidified into a dark room. The chatter of jarring voices disappeared. Silence persisted.

Darcy was asleep in a dark room. A narrow beam of moonlight spread on her bed. She heard a small, creaky noise. Footsteps moved closer. Before she could see anything, she found herself panting.

A dark shadow sat over her, pressing down on her neck. Somebody was trying to choke her. Darcy struggled. The stranger’s long, cold hands muffled her voice. She pushed against the dark shadow violently, trying to free her small neck from the tight grasp.

Darcy’s hands moved to the table. She knocked something over. A toy hit the floor and burst out into a song.