The Drifting (14 page)

“Don’t worry, Tharin,” says Mellis cheerfully, a little of his old self resurfacing.  “We’ll bring her back.”

“No,” I reply.  “I don’t want her back until the Seating.  I just want you two there to keep an eye on her.  For now she’s safe with Ziri, but I’d feel better if he had backup.”

“Does Ziri know we’re coming?” ask Alorn.

“No,” I reply.

“Good,” answers Alorn quietly as he turns to leave.  Alorn has his own issues with Ziri. 

“Um, wait,” calls out Mellis to Alorn.  “Are we leaving now?”

“Yes,” calls back Alorn.

“But we haven’t eaten yet,” says Mellis running after his older cousin.  They disappear with Mellis’ voice fading as he continues to complain.

I look over at Phoris, “We’ll stay the night, give Mili some time to help Julia come out of her shock.”

“Perhaps she can remove the memory?” offers Phoris.

“I suggested it, as well,” I answer.  “Tolan refused.  He fears that when we reveal the truth to her, the temporary memory loss may do more damage than good.  Mili will see what she can do.  For now she’s giving Tolan some time with Julia.”

“It’s a sad state, Tharin,” says Phoris, shaking his head.

“I know, cousin, but when we get back to the
Oak
Tower
, I have an idea about how to help Julia cope.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“I’m still thinking it over,” I answer.  “I’ll make up my mind once we’re home.  For now, let’s give Mili a chance to help Julia.”

Phoris nods and shifting his thoughts to his next task says, “I’ll see to our supplies for the rest of the journey.  We should reach the
Oak
Tower
by late afternoon tomorrow.”

I walk over to where Alorn once stood.  When I approach the tree’s wall, an open window appears and I look below, searching the grounds.  As if called, the black wolf appears.  I turn to Phoris, “I’m going to look in on Lily.  I will be back before daylight.”

Phoris nods as I call forth a seat from the kavi tree.  I sit as I look out at Ka and call to him,
“I’m ready.”
 

For the second night in a row, I find myself in the small room where Lily has remained all day and night.  Cessa raises her head from her place next to Lily and gives me a soft purr.  She has remained quiet for Lily’s sake.  Lily turns slightly as if knowing I’m there, but turns back breathing softly.  Her lips part slightly and I feel myself lowering to touch them with my own.  Frustration pulls me back.  As long as I’m in the
drift
state and she’s not, I’m unable to touch her.  I know that my father and mother both had the ability, but I never thought to ask if they were able to touch during the state.

Cessa watches closely and the sense that she’s ready to pounce finally penetrates my thoughts.  If I didn’t know better, it would seem that Cessa would do me harm should I disturb Lily in any way.  I give her a look, but she continues to watch me steadily. 
“It will be time for you to go soon,”
I tell her gently, but I guess not gently enough.  For the rest of the night we remain in a silent tug-of-war of will on whether Cessa is to go home.  In the end, she gives into her master and is gone before Lily awakes. 

And so am I.

~ * ~

~
Lily
~

I lied in bed in a trance state all night, all day and all through the next night.  I stayed in the small room curled up in a ball, oblivious to everything around me.  When my eyes did close, I saw Lucas and when they opened, I saw Lucas.  I thought I would feel something, anything, but all I felt was emptiness, a loneliness so deep I didn’t think I would be able to come out of it.  When I thought for sure I would die alone in a world I didn’t belong in, comfort came to me that first night.  The black stealth who I thought had abandoned me slipped into the room, and with lightness that belies her size, Cessa crawled into bed with me.  When she lightly made her way toward the head of bed, she settled in, her soft breathing comforting to my ears.

I remember opening my eyes to see the feline eyes of the great panther staring back at me.  There was gentleness and sorrow in them that reflected my own.  I hugged her to me and prayed that sometime in the night I would cry.  I should be hysterical, out of control crying…nothing.  I withdrew deeper.  Cessa never left me and I remained that way for two nights. 

On the third day, I awake to find Cessa gone.  I sit up to look for her and the stone at my wrist pinches me.  I look down to find the ink seeping from it has spread farther up my forearm.  Looking closely, I realize I am staring at a panther’s tail and part of a back foot. I smile, rubbing at my tattoo.

I scan the empty room again, but Cessa must have returned to her own realm.  I remember what Tharin told me about how she could only be away for a short period of time.  She must have just left because I remember her licking at my face earlier, as she did the previous morning.  I guess I had my face washed for the day.  Yeah…I think I’ll get up and see about finding a shower.

I throw the covers off and as soon as my feet touch the floor, there’s a tap at the…I don’t know where it’s coming from.  I don’t see a door. 

“Lily?”  Sema’s soft voice calls from behind the unseen door.

“Come in,” I croak.  I catch at my throat noticing for the first time how dry it is.

A door appears and Sema comes in with clothes on her arm and a glass of water in her hand.  With a smile, she approaches and sits next to me.  Taking my hand, she asks, “How are you feeling?”

I glance at her with a small smile and nod, “I’m okay.”

Sema gives me the water and I drink it quickly only to end up choking, going into a fit of coughing.  “Slow down, Lily, there’s more where that came from.”  She lightly brushes my hair aside, tucking it behind my ear.  Hesitantly, she says, “I’m sorry to have been the one to tell you about Lucas.  It’s never easy to hear such news.”

I don’t know what to say.  Just hearing his name makes me want to bury my head under my pillow.  Instead, I sit and nod.

“We wanted to give you some time and we knew that Cessa would come for us if you needed anything.  She wouldn’t allow us in the room unless it was to bring you some water.”

“You brought me water?” I ask, not remembering having anyone else in the room.

“Ziri did.  He checked in on you now and then, but only if Cessa allowed it.  Of course, she couldn’t stop Tharin from entering.”

“Tharin was here?” I ask surprised.  I thought after I told him how I felt that he wouldn’t want to see me again.  I mean, I did say I would marry him, so he’s getting what he wants, why would he come back?  Oh my God…don’t tell me he wasn’t even there after I spoke with Lucas?  Great, I worked myself up to say all of that for nothing.  God, he’s annoying.  Now I have to do it all over again.

I get off the bed irritated, but before I can move away, Sema takes hold of my hand.  “It’s all right, Lily.  He was in the
drift
state.  He’s not able to touch or say anything to you unless you’re in the
drift
state, too.  Besides, he was worried about you.  He came to see that you were all right.  He stayed each night until the following morning before he had to go back.  In fact, he and Cessa argued about her to returning to her own realm in the mornings.  Let me tell you, she was not happy when he ordered her to leave.”

Confused, I turn shaking my head asking, “Why?”

“Well, I believe Cessa can only stay here for a time before her energy begins to wane.”

“No, I mean…why would Tharin come to check to see if I’m okay?”

She gives me a bewildered look, shaking her head, “Like I said, he was worried about you.  You just experienced a terrible loss, Lily.  He was concerned.  Is there something wrong?”

I sigh resignedly, shaking my head again. “No.  I’m just tired.  My body feels stiff and I’m hungry.”  I look up at her quickly.  “Wait.  You can see and talk to people in the
drift
state?”

“Of course, I can.  So can you.”

“No, I can’t,” I reply.

“Yes, you can,” she counters.

I stare at her as she looks at me challengingly.  “Fine, I can.  I’m sure you’ll teach me,” I answer a bit annoyed.  My stomach growls and I rub at it, “I’m starving.”

“Wonderful!” says Sema as she gets off the bed.  “Here are some fresh clothes.  If you strip out of those, I’ll take them and burn them.  And I made you your favorite, chicken pasta.”

I laugh and ask, “Why would you burn my clothes?”

“Well, you have been in them for a few days now.  And even though I did wash them, I think they’ve had their use…don’t you?”

“No,” I answer a bit amused.  “I like my clothes.  They’re the only things I have from home.  I’ll change, but if you can tell me where I can wash these I’ll put them away until I’m ready to go home.”

Sema becomes quiet, looking me over thoughtfully, head cocked to one side.  After a moment, she smiles, “Okay, Lily.  If you say so, but for now, strip and jump into the bath.  Today you’ll start your lessons.”

“My lessons?”

“Yes, your lessons.  I will teach you how to use your abilities that you’ve recently discovered, and bring out the ones you haven’t.  Then, you’ll be with Ziri.”

“Ziri?”

“Yes, Ziri will train you on how to defend yourself physically,” she replies.

“You mean…self-defense?  Ziri is going to train me in self-defense?”

“Yes, yes…if that’s what you want to call it.  Now, get in the tub before the water gets cold.”  She pushes me forward and I take a step away from her.

“What tub?”

“The one in the corner, Lily,” she’s replies quickly.  She stops and looks at me exasperatedly, “Really, Lily, you need to be sharper than that if you want to get far with your lessons.  I know a lot has been going on and everything is coming at you from all directions, but  you must find your center, focus and, most of all, pay attention.”

I turn to see a wooden tub at the corner that wasn’t there a moment ago.  I stare at it for a second, and then give up on figuring out where it came from.  I turn to Sema asking, “You don’t believe in giving time to grieve, do you?”

Sema is wearing clothes similar to those of Ziri: dark pants and jersey top, soft boots and a belt made of what looks like tree bark. Her entire outfit makes her look active and fit, but for a moment she seems small and frail.  With sad eyes, she catches my own and says, “I’ve grieved many, many times in my past, Lily – more times than I care to remember.  I’ve cried enough tears to rival a thousand seas.  I know what it means to lose someone who means the world to you.  But I’ve learned that Death comes whether or not I want him to.  I can step over the edge of the abyss until Death comes for me, or I can take what life I have left and make the most of it.  It’s all about choices, Lily.  You must choose to live.  I’m not asking you to stop grieving – you will do that on your own.  What I’m asking is that you don’t let grief hobble you in life.  There is too much that need to be done, and not enough time in which to do it.” 

I move forward and hug Sema tightly.  Her thin arms wrap around me and I feel her warmth and strength.  She steps back and we laugh at each other with misty eyes.  Then she moves away, swats my butt and disappears out of a door that’s not there.

~ * ~

Chapter
Ten

~
Lily
~

After the most wonderful bath I’ve ever taken, I sat to eat with Sema.  And true to her word, we had chicken pasta.  I didn’t want to tell her that, yes, it’s my favorite food, but not for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I kept it to myself, however, because after the first spoonful, it didn’t matter.  Once I started eating I couldn’t stop.  Two plates later, Sema led me outside.