The Drifting (41 page)

I turn when I hear someone behind me.  I smile as I watch Julia’s face light up at seeing the master bedroom for the first time.  “Can you believe this, Jules?  It’s just beautiful,” I say looking about the room again in awe.

“Wow.  This is so much nicer than my room,” she states as she puts her one small bag on the floor. 

“Oh
,
sorry.  Did you sleep in the barracks or whatever it’s called where the guards sleep?”

She turns to blink at me and then laughs, “No.  My old room is on this floor only farther away from the king’s and queen’s suites.  I think I was only a room or two from Tolan and Tharin’s rooms.”

“Really?” I ask surprised.  “When they told me you were training with the guards I thought you slept in a barrack with them or in a small soldier’s room near the guards’ quarters or something.”

“Nope.  Everyone goes home when the day’s over.  There are no barracks, at least none I saw.  I thought about moving to the lower towers since Tharin told me I had to work for my room and board.  I figured if I lived in the lower towers I wouldn’t owe so much.”

“Seriously?  He told you that?” 

“Yeah, he did.  But he also said at the time that in three weeks he would take me back home.  I know now that it was just a cover-up until the Seating.”  She looks at me thoughtfully, “So, how you holding up about that?”

“About what?” I ask, moving toward the bed.  I want to feel the pillow top to see if it’s as fluffy as it looks.

“About the whole Seating and the wedding thing.  How’re you coping with that?”

I slowly sit on the bed as it sways, taking my weight, “The Seating I’m freaking out about, but the wedd – oh my God, Julia.  Come feel this bed, it feels sooo good.”  I throw myself back onto pure heaven.  The pillow top isn’t just fluffy – its soft kitten paws with extra on the soft.  I feel like I’m lying on clouds.  Julia comes over and sits next to me before plopping backward laughing with pleasure. 

She quickly sobers and lifts her head, turning to me, “Do you think we’re being disrespectful?”  We stare at each for a moment before smiling and say as one, “Nah…”  Julia turns over on her side, head cradled in her hand and smiling at me.  “So, you were saying about your wedding?  I notice you and Tharin have finally gotten your acts together.”

I lift myself onto my elbow facing her.  “It’s so weird, you know.  I mean, it just seems like all of this was meant to happen, but everything and everyone was holding their breath until
we
acknowledged it.  I’m still nervous about the whole Tharin and me thing, but it’s really nice.  I’m excited and scared at the same time, but he knows and seems to take things at my pace.  And when I look back, I realize a lot of it had to do with a whole lot of misunderstanding on both our parts, especially when it came to Kalis.”

Julia makes a face at me, a quick draw of her upper lip, like a pissed off Elvis snarl.  I grin and a selfish kind of pleasure comes over me.  “What?” I ask
,
eager to hear what she has to say about Kalis.

“I don’t know, I guess she’s okay,” starts Julia a little reluctantly as she traces a pattern on the pillow top.

“What?” I ask again, reaching over and grabbing her arm.

She looks up, finally making a decision.  “When I first met her I didn’t want anything to do with her.  I mean, I seriously wanted to beat the crap out of her and Tharin.  But then she told me that she lost someone she loved recently and she knew what I was going through.  And I thought she really meant it.  But,” she stops, shaking her head disappointedly, “it was just a lie, for Tharin’s sake.”

I lean in, “What do you mean for Tharin’s sake?”

She shrugs, “It was all an act.  As soon as she got me away from Tharin, she passed me on to Dalim, her second in command, an older guy.  Honestly, I think he should be captain.  Anyway, she left me alone with this strange elf who looked like he could break my neck with just his stare alone.  And when I was training, she was only interested when she knew Tharin or Tolan would be around.”

I thought I wanted to hear that Kalis wasn’t as perfect as I made her out to be, but instead I feel sort of sorry for her.  It’s bad enough that Tharin hasn’t been honest with her, but I think he’s overestimating the fact that they’re friends. 

“When I realized what she was doing, all I wanted to do was train harder so I could kick her ass,” continues Julia with a frown.

“You mean you can’t take her now?” I ask jokingly.

She shakes her head, “Lily, she’s the fricking captain of the guards.  She didn’t get to be captain by her looks alone…these guys are dead serious about the whole warrior thing.  They just don’t mess around, and even if I practice every day for the next year, Kalis would still kick my ass.  She’s been training since before she could even walk.”

I laugh at her exaggeration of Kalis’ fighting abilities.  “How do you know this?  Did she tell you?”

“No, Dalim did, and I’ve seen her work out with five opponents at once.  And, no, they didn’t take it easy on her.  As for Dalim, at first he was kind of standoffish with me, but as I got more serious about the training, the more he opened up.  He’s about the only one I talk to since I’ve been here.  All the others keep their distance.”

I give her a knowing smile, “I bet Tolan has something to do with that.”  She rolls her eyes and falls back onto the bed.  “What’s wrong with you?  I thought you were madly in love with him?” I ask confused by her reaction at the mention of Tolan.

She shrugs her shoulders, staring at the ceiling.  “What do I know of love, Lily?  The first guy who comes along and kisses me and I’m completely in love with him?  Who does that?”

The room suddenly becomes quiet and I stare at my friend, not sure what to say.  I know what I witnessed between them was real, it had to be.  “Julia, are you blaming Tolan for keeping the fact that I was still alive from you?  You heard Tharin and Ka, he had no choice.”

“Life is all about choices, Lily.”  She turns to look at me, “Isn’t that what Marilyn’s been telling us all these years?  He had a choice.  He could have defied Tharin and Ka, but he chose to go along with them.  I mean,” she sits up frustrated.  “I mean…I get it.  They did it to protect you.  It’s just that he could have trusted me enough to tell me.”

I slowly sit up, thinking for a minute before saying, “No.  That has nothing to do with why you’re ignoring him… why you’re
still
ignoring him.  You just found out about it tonight, but according to Tharin you’ve been pushing Tolan away since before you reached the tower.”  I turn to her, placing my hand on her back.  “Tell me what’s wrong.  Are you saying you no longer love him?”

She turns to me looking as if she’s about to break, “I do…with all my heart, Lily.”

I catch the tear as it rolls down her cheek with my thumb, wiping it away and then hug her to me.  I gently push her back so I can see her face, “Tell me, Jules.”

“When I heard that you died, I went into a walking-coma kind of trance.  I could hear and see what was going on around me, but it just didn’t register; kind of like the time when my mom disappeared.  I just locked myself away and took a time out from…well, everything and everyone.”  She takes my hand, squeezing it.  “Anyway, we ended up at that healer’s place.  You know, the one Tharin and Tolan mentioned at the doorway to Velesi.  Her name’s Mili.”  I nod as I recall the conversation regarding the healer.  “She helped bring me back to reality by just talking to me. And while she talked, something strange happened…it was like I was hearing my mom’s voice.  She somehow reached inside me and used the one thing she found that would bring me back.  She stayed with me all night just talking about anything I wanted to talk about.  Then we talked about Tolan.”

She throws her head back, trying to keep the tears at bay, “Did you know, Lily, that if Tolan stays with me he would have to give up his right to the throne if Tharin decides to step down?  We all know Tharin wouldn’t, but just the fact that being with me would deny Tolan that right, the right to rule his clan, his people, is a bit much to take in.  And he would give it all up for me, Lily.”  Shaking her head she looks at me with such sadness I am at a loss on how to comfort her.  She sniffs and swipes at her nose with the back of her hand, letting the tears fall.  “Not only that, but if he decides to stay with me he could be banished.  How can I let that happen?  To be sent away from all that he loves and cares about, the only home he’s ever known?  I know what it feels like to lose so much and have something, anything that belongs to you taken away.  I can’t let it happen to him, Lil.  I just can’t.” 

“And so you’ve been purposely pushing him away.” She nods while wiping at her cheeks with both hands.  “And he doesn’t have a clue that you know?”  She shakes her head no and remains quiet.  “I think you should tell him that you know.”

Julia continues to shake her head, “No, Lily.”

“No? Why?  You deserve to be happy, Jules, and damn it, you’re happy when you’re with him.”

“What do I know about happiness?  In fact, what do you know?  You just recently got in a relationship, and I know you’re scared as hell, Lil.  Dying on me for the last few weeks doesn’t change you that much.”

I give her a hard look, not appreciating having the obvious called out like that.  “Look you, you fell in love with an elf within a matter of days and you’re giving me advice about happiness?”

Julia gives a little laugh, “That’s my point, I don’t know anything.  Maybe what I’m feeling is that Stockholm syndrome where I fall for my kidnapper or something.”

“Um…yeah, I was kidnapped and not by Tharin or Tolan, which means you weren’t kidnapped by them, either.  Listen, I think the whole ‘losing his place in line for the throne’ thing is messing with your head.  You need to look beyond that and see how much you love him.  You just said so a minute ago.”

“I know, I know,” she rushes on frustrated.   “I know I feel for him and maybe it’s just gratitude and not really love.  He’s the first guy who’s ever been nice to me, who didn’t look at me with pity and repulsion at the same time.  The first to hear me, to see me and…and I was just really thankful for the attention and maybe that’s all it really was.”

I stare at her for moment and finally making up my mind, I reach over taking her hands again.  “I’ll talk to Tharin.  I’m sure he knows what to do and he’ll make it right.”

“No, Lily.  I don’t want Tolan to know, which means I don’t want Tharin to know.  I’ve made up my mind.  After the wedding I’m going home.”

“Go home?  To what, who?  Chris and Frank?  You might as well throw yourself out the window and save them the trouble of killing you.”  I watch her determined face and resort to a ploy I used to use when we were younger…begging.  “Please, please, Julia.  Just let me talk to Tharin, I know he can help.”

She gets up and walks toward the far corner where the sound of running water can be heard.  That must be where the waterfall shower is located.  Julia turns to me, “What’s in here?”  I’ve lost her.  She’s done talking and I know it would be useless to continue arguing with her.

I get up and walk over to her, taking her by the hand.  We round a wall that’s camouflaged by the wall behind it to only stop in our tracks.  Before us isn’t a small shower area like that of the sisters’ room but a small lagoon with the water stopping inches from where we’re standing.  The walls seem to disappear as large ferns and banana trees dominate the borders of the water pool, while miniature kavi trees cover the background as mist moves through them in a ghostly manner.  I feel like I’m transported back to the old thela I shared with Sema and Ziri.  Our eyes move upward to the ceiling to see the glass dome keeping out the rain.  Without thinking, I take a step forward to get a better look and the dome begins to shimmer and vibrate.  Within seconds, the rain pours through, falling gently on to a stone ledge platform with scattered stone and pebbled seating
– a
natural shower from the heavens.

Julia takes a step back, leaning to look around the camouflaged wall and then returning to stare at the “bathroom” before us.  I think about that for a minute before looking at Julia asking, “Where’s the toilet?”

We swam in the pool before making our way to ledge.  There we found a small alcove with bath soap, oils, perfume and dark towels that look like tree bark within the rocky wall.  With the towels are green bark-looking robes, but when we put them on, they feel like silk against our skin.  Farther back is a smaller private shower area which Julia used while I took advantage of the rainfall that reminde
d me of my training in the rain-
belted kavi forest.  I loved it.