The Duke's Gamble (6 page)

She knew that he cared for her in his own fashion. He had spent every afternoon since her arrival in her company. They rode and went for long walks. Sometimes if he had a great deal of correspondence he would attend to this while she read on the chaise in his study. He was not a man of great conversation, nor did he exhibit a great deal of humour, but his dry wit and keen intelligence made it a pleasure to be in his company. Even the silences between them were rarely awkward.

Everything she could have dreamed of wanting was hers for the asking. There were, of course, the gowns, hats, shoes and pelisses. She had free use of the music room which housed many instruments, including a magnificent Viennese pianoforte. She was pampered within an inch of her life, with two maids at her beck and call, arranging her hair in elaborate coiffures, offering her creams to rub into her skin, laying out gowns for her to choose each morning. The duke’s French chef prepared food that was as different from the food she was accustomed to, as night was from day. And then there were the books.
 

Anything she desired was fetched immediately.
 

Not that she asked for very much. In truth, she was mortified at the amount of attention that was being afforded her. She was nothing more than Castor’s temporary mistress, and the façade she presented as being fully comfortable in her present position hid the shame that she could not help feeling. What was worse, she feared she had already fallen in love with a man whom she will very likely never see again in just over two months’ time.
 

Bella sighed, rolling over onto her back. Even after a fortnight, the magnificence of her bedchamber still had the power to awe her. The room was furnished in a mixture of pale gold, pink and cream. Sumptuous silk drapes in pale gold and cream striped material hung over full-length windows. Pale gold fabric framed the large four-poster bed, over which lay a pink coverlet embroidered with what she assumed was the Avalon family crest in gold. Pink and cream striped wallpaper covered the walls. To the left was a fireplace and an open doorway that led to a small chamber where she bathed, and the set of double doors on the right connected her bedchamber to Castor’s. Not for the first time, she wondered what the duke’s bedchamber looked like. No doubt it was dark and masculine with gothic furniture and a monstrous canopied bed.

The thought of Castor made her spirits dip. He did not spend the mornings with her, so she was used to it, but he would normally inform her that he would see her in the afternoon or at supper and bid her a good day. Even in the short period of their acquaintance, she knew him to be a creature of habit, hence his abrupt departure this morning bothered her.
Oh, for goodness sake, Bella, enough.
 

Sitting up, she reached over to tug at the bell before visiting the water closet. When she returned, the drapes had been opened and the sun filled the room with a golden hue. In no time at all, her hair was done and she was dressed in a gown of white muslin printed with small sprigs of bluebells. She was picking desultorily at her breakfast when Mrs Robbins arrived.

“Good morning, my dear.” She frowned. “You are looking a little peaked this morning, are you feeling quite well?”

“I’m fine,” replied Bella, smiling. She had gotten to know Mrs Robbins well these last few weeks. The older woman was genuinely concerned about her wellbeing and had never shown any sign of censure. What was more, Mrs Robbins had known Castor from infancy, and although she was extremely loyal to her employer, Bella had managed to pry a handful of stories about Castor as a boy.

Mrs Robbins glanced at Bella’s tray. “Well, I would say that you would be hard pressed to keep a robin alive with what you have eaten from that plate.”
 

“I’m not hungry today.” Bella gave up on her food and picked up her hot chocolate instead. It was one of the indulgences she would miss. Although not as much as she would miss him.
Stop it, Bella.
“Where is His Grace, Mrs Robbins?”

The older woman paused. “Why do you ask?” Her tone was unusually careful.

Bella’s brow creased. “He left in a hurry this morning and I just wondered if he was in his study or if he had some urgent business.”

The housekeeper hesitated. “He is not here,” she finally said, her gaze evasive.

“Mrs Robbins, what is wrong? Is everything all right?”
 

Her companion tried to smile. “I am sure His Grace is fine.”

Concerned, Bella rose to her feet and approached the housekeeper. “Where is he?” When Mrs Robbins hesitated again, Bella took her hand. “Please, tell me. I swear I will not betray your confidence.”

“His Grace has gone to one of the cottages on the boundary of the property. He goes there each year on this day.”

“What happened on this day?” asked Bella, although she suspected she knew the answer.

“His Grace’s twin brother, as well as both of his parents perished this very day twenty years ago.”

The younger woman opened her mouth to ask another question but Mrs Robbins shook her head.
 

“It is not my place to tell you more. You must ask His Grace yourself. The only reason I am telling you now is that we are worried about him. We always are on this day.”

Bella saw the unspoken plea in her companion’s eyes. “Give me the directions to the cottage.”

Chapter 8

Bella looped the reins around a mounting post and walked up the path to the whitewashed cottage. Taking a deep breath, she rapped her knuckles on the weathered wooden door. When there was no reply, she knocked again. Again, there was no response. Lifting the latch, she pushed open the door. Expecting the door to creak, she was surprised when it swung open silently. It was when her eyes adjusted to the dimness she realised that despite the dilapidated exterior, the original interior had been improved upon. Although the cottage was sparsely furnished with a table, two chairs and a bed, the stone floors were covered with Aubusson rugs like the ones in the main house.

“Castor?” Closing the door behind her, she ventured deeper into the small residence. “Are you here?” She couldn’t see him yet. “Castor?”

“What’re you doing here?” His voice was rough. Slurred.

Bella walked around the bed, stopping at the sight of Castor sitting on the ground, his back against the wooden frame. Dressed only in a shirt and breeches, his left arm lay on his flat stomach while his right loosely circled the neck of a bottle half full of amber liquid which rested on the ground. She hesitated for a moment, then stepped forward and sat down on the rug beside him.

“When you didn’t return I became concerned and enquired as to your whereabouts.”

“I s’pose my servants told you where I was,” he countered, tone surly.

“They were just as concerned as I was.”

“They should watch their loose tongues if they wish t’keep their positions.” Castor picked up the bottle and took a swig of its contents. When he put it back down, Bella wrapped her hand around it.

“No.” His hand tightened around the neck, gripping it harder.

She turned and looked up at him. “You are being most inhospitable to your visitor. I was going to have a sip of this expensive brandy. That is, if you would share it with me.”

Castor scowled at her before releasing his grip reluctantly. Bella lifted the bottle to her mouth and took a small sip. To her relief, the burn of the alcohol down her throat did not send her into a coughing paroxysm as she had feared. The brandy heated her stomach, the mellow warmth relaxing her. She took another sip and sighed. “This is very nice.”

“Well, it damn well better be as I had to mor’gage my soul to purchase a case.”

Bella tipped her head slightly and surveyed his unshaven countenance. “That seems highly unlikely.”

“Why? B’cause I’m richer than the king?”

“No, I just assumed you sold your soul years ago.”

He didn’t smile at her attempt at a jest. He was silent for a while. Then, “I don’t think the devil’d want my soul.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I’ve only half a soul left.”

Startled, Bella stared at him. “What do you mean by that?”

Castor exhaled sharply and looked away. “My soul was ripped in half when my brother died.” His voice sounded hollow, empty, as if all the emotion he had ever felt had been expended and there was nothing left.

Bella, on the other hand, could feel her heart begin to pound hard in her chest. Despite the physical intimacy they had shared over the last fortnight, not once had he mentioned anything about his family or his past. “What happened?” she asked softly.
 

He shook his head. “You do not want to know the memories I have tried for twenty years to forget.”

“I do, Castor. Tell me.”

“Why?” he asked tonelessly.

“Tell me so that I can understand. Please.” Bella held her breath, wondering if he would answer.

He was silent for a long time. “We were in the carriage. All four of us. Pollux and I were ten. The axle broke. I was told later that my parents and the driver were killed instantly. Somehow I was thrown clear while Pollux …” His gaze was bleak as he looked blankly into space. “He was pinned beneath the frame. I couldn’t … I couldn’t get it off. He was begging me to help him and I couldn’t. ‘Castor, help me, please help me.’” His voice broke.

Bella bit her lip to stifle a sob.
 

“So I shouted for help. I screamed until my throat was raw but no one came. Pollux stopped begging after a while. He was just moaning and moaning. And when he stopped … I knew.”

“
Castor.
” She scrambled to her knees and knelt beside him, cupping his face tenderly in one hand and turning it towards her. The absence of emotion in his dark eyes was worse than if he had appeared to be drowning in pain, for she would have drawn him into her embrace then.
 

“Mrs Robbins told me that I didn’t speak for more than a year. And when I finally did, my voice was never the same. I was never the same.”

Bella drew his head to her breast and held him tightly to her. “I’m so sorry, so very sorry.” A shudder ran through him and then she felt his arms slowly encircle her. “You know that it isn’t your fault, don’t you?”

Castor shook his head. “He was my brother and I couldn’t save him.”

“You were a child.” She pulled back and looked into his eyes. The hopelessness within tore at her heart. “Listen to me. It was not your fault.”

“It doesn’t matter. I will carry this guilt as long as I live.”

Bella paused, praying that the right words would come to her. “Would you blame Pollux if it had been you instead of him? Do you think Pollux blames you?”

He closed his eyes. “No, he would not. He was kind and thoughtful. Compassionate, gentle.” When he opened his eyes again, he appeared as if he was gazing into the past. “He was everything I am not and could never hope to be. All who knew him loved him.” He laughed but it contained no mirth. “I didn’t even care if no one liked me. It didn’t matter because I was to be Avalon. Pollux … he balanced me. Perhaps if he had lived, I would not be what I am today.” The regret was heavy in his voice.

“I do not think you turned out too badly,” she said softly.

Castor’s brows lifted ever so slightly. “He would never have allowed me to accept your father’s offer. Only an unconscionable blackguard would have agreed.”

“That is true,” said Bella. “You are most definitely an unscrupulous bastard.”

He blinked, appearing to be lost for words for the first time since she had known him. She smiled. “You are also much loved by your employees. I have never seen such loyalty.”

“I merely pay them well.”
 

“You give them respect when many other masters do not.”

He shrugged. “I treat them no differently than my parents treated their servants.”

He truly did not know how extraordinary he was. Bella felt a further weakening of her defences. There was no earthly way she would escape this arrangement with her heart unscathed. “I think Pollux would like you to be happy,” she said softly.

“I don’t know if I can. I’m not even certain what happiness is,” he admitted wearily. “I only know that when I look at you, the burdens I carry seem lighter. Just for a moment.”

Bella’s breath caught as her heart swelled. Surely that meant he felt something for her. His next words raised her hopes even higher.

“I’ve never spoken about that day, y’know. Not ever. Not to a single soul.”

She exhaled slowly in an effort to keep her tears at bay. “Then I am glad you chose to tell me.” She bent and pressed her lips gently against his, hoping that he would recognise the tenderness she felt for him in that kiss, then rose to her feet and held out her hand. “Come to bed with me. Let me bear the weight of your worries and concerns for a while.”

Slowly, Castor reached out his hand and clasped hers.
 

He helped her to undress, leaving her clad in her shift before they climbed onto the bed. She lay on her side and he settled himself behind her, putting an arm about her waist.

Bella was almost asleep when she heard his voice.
 

“Don’t ever leave me, Bella,” he murmured sleepily, his arms tightening around her. “I have no one left.”

She closed her eyes, feeling tears prick behind her eyelids. Bella. He had called her Bella. “I won’t leave you.” But it was a lie. She could tell herself that she had no choice now but once the three months were up, she could no longer be his mistress. Even if she could bear the shame, knowing that she had no claim on him at all, that he would one day marry another woman, would slowly destroy her.

Chapter 9

When she awoke the next morning Castor was gone. Instead, her maid, Suzette, was there. Suzette helped Bella to dress before they were both driven back to the main house in the barouche that was waiting outside the cottage. Bella did not see Castor at all that day, and Mrs Robbins informed her that he had been called to one of his properties where a number of his tenants had lost their homes in a fire.

Four days later, Bella sat in the library, an open book in hand. After reading the same sentence three times in a row, Bella sighed and closed the book. She stood and walked to the bank of windows in the library and gazed at the magnificent gardens that stretched as far as the eye could see. The sight of the exquisitely tended landscape failed to soothe her as it usually did, as she wondered yet again when Castor would return.