The Egyptian (22 page)

The King of Babylon was a smooth-faced boy who had to hang a false beard to his chin when he mounted the throne. He loved playthings and strange tales. My fame had sped before me from Mitanni, so that when I put up at Ishtar’s House of Joy and had spoken with the priests and doctors of the tower, I received word that the King commanded my attendance.

Kaptah as usual was anxious, and said to me, “Do not go, but rather let us fly together, for of kings no good thing can come.”

But I said, “You fool, do you not remember that we have the scarab with us?”

“The scarab is the scarab,” he rejoined, “and I have not forgotten, but safety is better than hazard, and we must not try the scarab too high. If you are resolved to go, I cannot hinder you, and I will come, too, so that at least we may die together. But we must stand upon our dignity and request that a royal chair be sent to fetch us—and we will not go today, for by the custom of the country it is an evil day. The merchants have closed their shops, and the people rest in their houses and do no work. If they did, it would miscarry, this being the seventh day of the week.”

I pondered this and knew that he was right. Though to Egyptians all days are alike, save those proclaimed unpropitious according to the stars, yet in this country the seventh day might be unlucky for an Egyptian, also, and it was better to be prudent.

I said, therefore, to the King’s servant, “You must take me for a simple foreigner indeed if you fancy I would appear before the King on such a day as this. Tomorrow I will come if your King will send a chair for me. I have no wish to come before him with dung between my toes.”

The servant replied, “For these words of yours, Egyptian scum, I fear you will come before the King with a spear prodding your behind.”

But he went and was certainly impressed, for the next day the King’s chair came to Ishtar’s House of Joy to fetch me. But the chair was a common one, such as is sent to bring tradesmen and other common people to the palace to show jewelry and feathers and apes.

Kaptah shouted loudly to the porters and to the runner, “In the name of Set and all devils! May Marduk scourge you with scorpions! Be off! As if it were seemly for my lord to travel in such a rickety old coop as that!”

The porters looked blank, and the runner threatened Kaptah with his staff. Onlookers began to gather at the inn door and laugh, saying, “In truth we long to see your lord for whom the King’s chair is inadequate.”

But Kaptah hired the great chair belonging to the inn, which required forty slaves to carry it; in this the ambassadors from powerful kingdoms went about their business, and in this also foreign gods were carried when they visited the city. And the bystanders laughed no longer when I came down from my room in a robe on which were embroidered in silver and gold the symbols of my calling. My collar glittered in the sunshine with gold and precious stones, while about my neck were hung chains of gold. The inn slaves followed with chests of cedarwood and ebony inlaid with ivory in which lay my medicines and my instruments. Indeed, there was no more laughing; rather they bowed before me, saying one to another, “Truly this man must be as the lesser gods in wisdom. Let us follow him to the palace.”

At the palace gates the guards dispersed the throng with their spears and raised their shields as a barrier, a very wall of gold and silver. Winged lions lined the way along which I was carried to the inner courts. Here an old man came to meet me whose chin was shaven after the fashion of scholars and in whose ears gleamed golden rings. His cheeks hung in discontented folds, and there was anger in his eyes as he addressed me.

“My liver is incensed because of the needless uproar you have caused by your arrival. The lord of the four quarters of the world is already asking what manner of man this is who comes when it suits him rather than when it suits the King—and who, when he does come, brings tumult with him.”

I said to him, “Old man! Your speech is as the buzz of flies in my ear. Nevertheless, I ask who you may be to address me thus?”

“I am physician in chief to the lord of the four quarters of the world—and what swindler are you who come to entice gold and silver from the King? Know that if of his bounty he reward you with minted gold or silver, you must give half of it to me.”

“I see that you would do better to talk to my servant, whose business it is to clear blackmailers and parasites from my path. Yet I shall be your friend since you are an old man and know no better. I shall give you these gold rings from my arm to show you that gold and silver are but as dust beneath my feet and that it is not for them that I have come but for wisdom.”

I gave him the bracelets, and he was astonished and knew not what to say. He even allowed Kaptah to accompany me and brought us into the presence of the King.

King Burnaburiash sat on soft cushions in an airy room with the walls glowing with brightly colored tiles, a spoiled, sulky boy with his hand to his cheek. Beside him lay a lion that growled softly as we appeared. The old man prostrated himself to wipe the floor with his mouth before the King, and Kaptah did the same. When he heard the growl, however, he bounced up on hands and feet like a frog with a yelp of fear, which made the King burst out laughing and tumble backward on his cushions, squirming with mirth. Kaptah squatted on the floor, his hands raised defensively, while the lion also sat up and yawned at great length, then clashed its fangs together as the temple coffers close on a widow’s mite.

The King laughed till the tears ran from his eyes. Then he remembered his pain and moaned and put his hand to a cheek so swollen that one eye was half closed. He scowled at the old man, who hastened to say, “Here is that stubborn Egyptian who would not come when you summoned him. Say but the word, and the guards shall slit his liver.”

But the King kicked at him, saying, “This is no time to talk nonsense but for him to heal me at once. The pain is terrible, and I fear that I may die since I have not slept for many nights nor eaten anything but broth.”

Then the old man lamented, striking his head against the floor, “O lord of the four quarters of the world! We have done all we might to heal you; we have offered jaws and teeth in the temple to drive out the evil spirit that is lodged in your jaw. More we have not been able to do because you would not let us touch your sacred person. Nor do I think this unclean Egyptian can do better than we.”

But I said, “I am Sinuhe the Egyptian, He Who Is Alone, Son of the Wild Ass, and I do not need to examine you to see that a tooth has caused your cheek to swell because you did not have it cleansed or drawn out in time as your physicians must surely have counseled you to do. Such pains are for children and the timid and not for the lord of the four quarters of the world, before whom the very lions tremble and bow their heads as I see with my own eyes. Nevertheless, I know your pain is great, and I will help you.”

The King, still with his hand to his face, made answer, “You speak boldly. Were I well, I should have your impudent tongue cut out and your liver slit—but there is no time for that now. Cure me quickly, and your reward shall be great. But if you hurt me, I will have you slain without delay.”

“Be it so. I have with me a small but remarkably powerful god, thanks to whom I did not come yesterday—for if I had, it would have been to no purpose. I can see that today the evil has ripened sufficiently for me to treat it, and this I shall do if you wish. But not even a king can the gods preserve from pain, though I declare to you that your relief when it is over will be so great that the pain will be forgotten and that I will make it as slight as any man in the world can make it.”

The King hesitated for a while, scowling, with his hand to his cheek. He was a handsome boy when well, though spoiled, and I knew that I liked him. Feeling my eyes upon him, at last he said irritably, “What you have to do, do quickly.”

The old man groaned and struck his head against the floor, but I paid him no heed. I ordered wine to be warmed, and with this I mixed a narcotic. He drank and after a time brightened a little, saying, “The pain is leaving me, and you need not plague me with your knives and forceps.”

But my will was stronger. Tucking his head firmly into my armpit, I made him open his mouth, then lanced the boil on his jaw with a knife purified in the fire Kaptah had brought with him. The fire was not, indeed, the holy fire of Ammon; Kaptah had carelessly allowed this to go out on the journey down the river. The new flame Kaptah had kindled with a fire drill in my room at the inn, believing in his simplicity that the scarab was potent as Ammon.

The King uttered loud cries when he felt the knife, and the lion with blazing eyes rose up and roared, lashing its tail to and fro; but soon the boy was busily spitting. His relief was sweet, and I helped him by pressing lightly on his cheek. He spat, and wept for joy, and spat again, exclaiming, “Sinuhe the Egyptian, you are a blessed man although you hurt me.” And he spat on unceasingly.

But the old man said, “I could have done that as well as he, and better, if only you had permitted me to touch your sacred jaw. And your dentist would have done it best of all.”

He was astonished when I said, “This old man says truly, for he could have done it as well as I, and the dentist would have done it best. But their wills were not as strong as mine, and so they could not free you from your pain. For a physician must venture to cause pain even to a king when it is unavoidable, without fearing for himself. These feared, but I do not fear, for all is one to me, and your men are welcome to slit my liver when I have cured you.”

The King spat and pressed his cheek, and the cheek was no longer painful.

“I never heard a man speak as you speak, Sinuhe. Truly you have brought me great relief; wherefore, I pardon you your insolence—and I forgive your servant also though he saw me with my head under your arm and heard me cry out. I forgive him because he made me laugh with his capering.” To Kaptah he added, “Do it again!”

But Kaptah said wrathfully, “It is inconsistent with my dignity.”

Burnaburiash said smiling, “We shall see.”

He called the lion, and the lion rose and stretched till its joints cracked, its intelligent eyes upon its master. The King pointed to Kaptah, and the lion strolled lazily toward him waving his tail, while Kaptah drew back and back and gazed on the beast as if bewitched. Suddenly the lion opened its jaws and gave a muffled roar; Kaptah whipped about and, seizing the door hangings, scuttled up them and perched upon the lintel. He squeaked with terror as the animal dabbed up at him with its paw. The King laughed more than ever.

“Never did I see such clowning,” he said.

The lion sat licking its chops while Kaptah clung to the lintel in great distress. But now the King ordered food and drink, declaring that he was hungry. The old man wept for joy that the King was cured, and many different foods were brought in on silver dishes, wine also in golden cups.

The King said, “Eat with me, Sinuhe! Ill though it befits my dignity, I will forget it today and not think of how you held my head under your arm and poked your fingers into my mouth.”

So I ate and drank with him, and I told him, “Your pain is soothed, but may return at any time if the tooth that is the cause of it be not removed. Therefore, let the dentist draw it as soon as the swelling in your cheek has gone down, when it may be done without endangering your health.”

His face darkened.

“You talk much and tediously, you crazy foreigner.” Then after some reflection he added, “But it may be true, for the pain returns every autumn and spring when my feet are wet—and so badly that I wish I were dead. If it must be done then you shall do it, for I will not set eyes on that dentist again because of the needless pain he has caused me.”

I answered him gravely, “Your dentist shall draw the tooth and not I, for in such matters he is the cleverest man in the country—cleverer also than myself—and I would not bring his anger upon my head. But if you wish it, I will stand beside you and hold your hands and encourage you while he does it, and I will soothe the pain with all the arts I have learned in many lands among many people. And this shall be done two weeks from today—for it is best to fix the time lest you repent of it. By then your jaw will be sufficiently healed, and meanwhile you shall rinse your mouth morning and evening with a remedy I shall give you, though it may sting and has an evil taste.”

He grew angry. “And if I will not do this?”

“You must give me your sacred word that all shall be done as I have said—for indeed the lord of the four quarters of the world cannot go back upon that. And if you let it be done, I will divert you with my arts and turn water into blood before your eyes—I will even teach you to do this and amaze your subjects. But you must promise never to reveal the secret to anyone else, for it is sacred to the priests of Ammon, and I should not know it myself were I not a priest of the first grade, nor dare to teach it to you were you not a king.”

As I finished speaking, Kaptah cried out pitifully from the door frame, “Take away this devil’s beast or I shall climb down and slay it, for my hands are numb and my backside sore with sitting in this uncomfortable place which in no way befits my dignity.”

Burnaburiash laughed more than ever at this threat. Then feigning gravity he said, “It would indeed be a woeful thing if you killed my lion, for I have brought it up from a cub, and it is my friend. I will call it away, therefore, that you may not commit this evil deed in my palace.”

He called the lion to him, and when Kaptah had climbed down the hangings, he stood rubbing his cramped legs and glaring at the lion so that the King laughed again and slapped his knees.

“A more comical man I never saw in my life. Sell him to me, and I will make you rich.”

But I did not wish to sell Kaptah. The King did not insist, and we parted friends. He had begun to nod by now, and his eyelids were drooping, for he had had no sleep for many nights.

The old physician followed me out, and I said to him, “Let us take counsel together about what is to happen in two weeks’ time, for that will be an evil day, and we should be wise to make sacrifice to all suitable gods.”