The Eidolon (31 page)

“Shouldn’t we be wearing gloves for this?” My buzzard is flapping, stretching out talons that look strong enough to tear my flesh wide open. It reaches out for a hold, aiming for my shoulder. I raise my arm and the bird changes direction as I pull my head back to avoid its wings flicking my face. I’ve never been this close to a bird of prey. My forearm slumps with its weight as it makes contact, but my skin doesn’t break. The bird shifts position, then settles, heavy but motionless. The wind ruffles the soft brown feathers on its chest as it stares out over the city, before turning its eyes towards me.

“Now,” says Sattva, his voice calm and steady. “Listen.”

I can’t help but stare at it – its sleek, arched head, its smooth, tawny feathers, its curved, hooked beak. It gazes back at me, and for a moment it’s like our two disparate existences connect.
What’s your world like?
Maybe the bird is thinking the same. There’s something magnetic about it, that won’t let me tear my eyes away. And something else... a clear sound, like a chime that rings on after it’s struck and doesn’t fade, one single note swelled by softer harmonies of itself. My eyes are still locked with the buzzard’s, and it feels like the chime is ringing inside me and that’s all there is... All other sounds fade. Those eyes, what they’ve seen...

The buzzard drops its gaze and the chime dies away. Lights flash across my vision. The feeling of that hum, that vibration, still pulses inside me.

“What just happened?” I whisper.

“You found its frequency,” says Sattva. “When you learned to become unseen, you found the frequency of nothing. What we’re about to do now is an extension of that. An exercise in the fluidity of things.”

“So why are we doing this?”

“Casimir, would you be good enough to show Robert?”

Casimir comes forward, his eyes smiling, his buzzard propped on his arm. “Don’t worry,” he says. “It’ll be alright, whatever you might think.” He steps to the edge and closes his eyes.

“Casimir...” There’s not enough time to fully register the dread that’s swelling in my gut as he leans forward. “Casimir!” I reach out to grasp his shirt, my buzzard flapping into the air above me.

A hand grips my wrist. “No,” says Sattva.

Casimir trembles in a burst of blue-white light and when my vision returns, he isn’t there. I peer over the edge of the roof, afraid of seeing the gathering crowd, the upturned faces, the crumpled form on the concrete. But there’s nothing.

“What the hell happened? Where’s Casimir?”

Sattva glances up at the buzzard above us.

“
That’s
him?” I stare at Sattva, then the others, before turning my face to the sky again. The bird’s calling, a high pitched
eee
that falls away. “How did he...”

“They blended. The buzzard absorbed him into its own form. Don’t worry, it’s only temporary. Just a convenient way to get around, until you learn how to tunnel.”

“Can the bird tunnel?”

“Oh, yes. It has no resistance.”

The bird swoops down towards the rooftop and I back away, uncertain of what it might do next. As its talons strike the concrete, there’s the blue-white flash again and Casimir’s standing there, next to the buzzard, grinning.

“Alright, Robert,” says Sattva. “You next.” He gestures to the edge. I shuffle forwards, my brain frozen between thoughts.

“A little further,” says Sattva. “And lift up your arm. The bird needs the kick of the drop to draw you into it, at least the first time.”

I’m aware of the wind, blustering against my chin. A siren somewhere in the distance. The flap of feathers and air, and the weight that makes my forearm dip. And my thundering heartbeat.
What are you doing?
says Logic.
Have you lost your mind? You’re a man – not a fucking bird!

But what if you could do this?
Another voice, this time Curiosity.
What if you really could rearrange yourself at the quantum level into something else? You did it before.

Well,
says Logic to Curiosity,
you’ll have plenty of time to think about that when they scrape you off the pavement and put the bits that are left in the morgue
.
Stop being so stupid and step back.

Curiosity peeks out over the edge.

As I lean forwards, my hand feels warm, tingly – that feeling you get when you lie on your arm for too long at night and wake up with a dead limb. I turn to see not skin and muscle but something translucent, fine threads of blue-white light racing from my shoulder to the bird, which is still perched, its talons spread as though it’s clinging to something that isn’t there.

“What the...”

“Lean into the fall,” says Sattva “Quickly, now.”

It’s spreading into my torso, this tingling heat, dissolving what’s left of me, consuming my chest, inching closer to my neck, and I lift my chin, my muscles straining to stop me drowning in nothing until it takes my face... I can’t do it!

“Oh, for God’s sake,” I hear Aiyana’s voice at the same time as I feel the push between my shoulder blades, and I’m falling.

A rush of light consumes me, a roaring in my ears, and then the chime, clear and steady, the only sound.

Something flaps on either side of me and the ground falls away. The rooftop shrinks beneath and the streets diminish. Now the wind is the only sound, rushing with each beat of wings. Banking to the left, a tower block looms, then withdraws, the thermals bring the dome of the sky closer, darker now that the sun’s gone, sprinkled with a few diamond stars. Below, the world is sharper, still as far away, but I can see the details like I never could before. It’s easy. It’s effortless. I’m free.

See?
says Curiosity.
I told you.

Fuck you
, says Logic.

“Y
OU PUSHED ME
!” It’s the first thing that comes out when I touch down, as soon as I’ve established that I’m back in my own skin.

“You’d still be dithering if it weren’t for me. I did you a favour.” Aiyana turns to Sattva. “Now can we get on with it?”

“I’d like to hear what Robert made of his experience first.”

“Yeah, how was it, Robert?” Casimir’s eyes are wide with anticipation, as though he’s been waiting to ask me this for a long time.

“I... it was incredible.”

“Any fear?” asks Sattva.

“No, it was... it was like I’ve always known how.”

“That’s good,” says Sattva. “Then you’re ready.”

He glances up as the stars begin to show themselves.

“Are you happy that you know what you’re going to do when you get there?” asks Balaquai.

“Yes.” I’ve been rehearsing the programming in my mind.

“We’ll give you any help you need.”

“Robert,” says Sattva, “do you still have Cora’s goblet?”

I reach into the pocket of my jeans and take out the small box. My thumb glances the foil as I click it open. With no warning, it hits me again, that sudden flash of light inside my brain – this time her hands are tied awkwardly behind her, her face shrouded by her hair. She lifts her head slowly, almost as if she knows I can see her, but something’s changed. Her eyes aren’t pleading. They look like they’ve lost the fight – they’re resigned. Her lids close and she drops her head.

I find myself on all fours, retching, and feel a hand on my back. Distant voices speak above me.

“Did you see it, Sattva?” It’s Balaquai.

“Yes,” replies Sattva. “They must be on the move. Go with Robert to ORB
.
Arcos and I will try to find them.”

It brings me to my senses. “No. I’m going with you.” I stumble to my feet, my legs still trembling.

“Robert,” says Sattva gently, his hand grasping his glowing amulet, “we don’t have much time. Cora’s signal has too much interference and we have only a small window. Even now, it’s fading. You’re not strong enough yet. You deal with ORB. We’ll do what we can to find them.”

“But...”

There’s a flash of blue-white light and a small spiral of dust whips up from the place where Sattva stood.

I feel gored by the image in my head. Impotent.

“Robert,” says Casimir. “We need to go.” He helps me to my feet like I’m an old man; the irony isn’t lost on me.

“Aiyana,” says Balaquai. “Do you have the photograph?”

She walks towards us, reaching into her back pocket, her eyes lingering on the picture as she hands it to Balaquai.

“How do we get there?”

“Just like you did before,” says Balaquai. “Let the bird take you.” He stares at the picture for a moment then hands it to me. “Ready?”

He leans from the edge and disappears in a flare of blue-white light.

Chapter Seventeen

W
E BREAK THROUGH
the clouds above an empty field. The air rushes at me as I head towards the flash of light on the ground where Balaquai has transformed, and then I’m standing there next to him. Within seconds, Aiyana and Casimir are by our sides. The birds flap off into the sky. A concrete bunker sits in the corner of the field surrounded by an electric fence.

“Where are we?” asks Casimir.

“The ORB helipad. I thought it would have taken us to Banks’s house.”

“He must have come this way recently,” says Balaquai. “How do we get in?”

I lead them to the trapdoor inside the bunker and kneel down, opening the cover on the electronic keypad beside it. “I don’t know the code.”

“You don’t need the code,” says Balaquai. He steps through the trapdoor and disappears. Aiyana follows.

“Remember, you’re mostly empty space,” Casimir says. “Supersymmetric particles, okay?”

Empty space, that’s all. Empty space
. I press my hand against the metal, and feel a change in its substance, a springiness that wasn’t there before. I push my foot through its fabric with a feeling like squelching through soft putty. A wave of nausea washes over me as the rest of me follows. It subsides when I get through to the other side.

“Make sure you’re unseen,” says Balaquai.

We’re standing in a white corridor. Me and three other ghosts. I can just see their forms like the shadow of steam on a wall.

“Which way, Robert?” asks Casimir.

“Wait. I can still make you out.”

Balaquai’s shadow turns to me. “It’s alright. No one else can.”

We make our way along the empty corridors to the main atrium.

“Where now?” asks Casimir.

I head for the corridor marked A Sector.

Aiyana lingers by the C Sector entrance, clutching her photograph. “I think Banks is down here somewhere.”

“I need you with me, Aiyana,” I say.

“Why?”

“You’re my distraction.”

“We’ll look for Banks,” says Balaquai, taking the photograph from Aiyana. “You can come for him when you’re done.”

Casimir and Balaquai disappear into C Sector, and we’re on our own.

I
HOLD MY
breath as we pass through the door into Mr Y’s office. What if he sleeps here? Reggie’s brown and golden scales are just visible at the bottom of the tank, but there’s no sign of his weirdo owner.

“A
snake
?” whispers Aiyana.

“I know.”

I walk over to the security drawer and reach inside, feeling for the edges of the foam base, the top right corner, and retrieve the USB stick next to it.

There’s a rustling as Reggie slithers through the leaves at the bottom of his tank. Aiyana takes a step back. I turn the USB stick over to read its label. Canadian Crippler. Bingo.

“Let’s go.”

On the way out, I toss a couple of cola bottles into the tank for Reggie. He hisses as he slithers towards them.

We make our way back to D Sector, pausing as a buggy hums past us; the driver shows no sign of seeing us. I catch Aiyana by the arm as we approach the Hub corridor. “Okay. Here’s what I need you to do.”

W
E PASS THROUGH
the glass partition leading to the Hub, pausing half way along. Voices come from inside.

“You can inform the others, but not Robert Strong.” Dana Bishop.

“I told him I’d update him.” Luke’s voice.

“And I’m telling you not to. Nothing changes until I get confirmation that we have access control. Understood?”

We press ourselves into the wall as Dana exits the Hub. She touches the earpiece of her headset. “Get Banks to my office in thirty minutes. He has some explaining to do.”

I feel a warm ripple in my arm as she walks thought it, and catch the scent of her perfume breezing past. Her pace slows as she reaches the partition at the end of the corridor. She glances back, her hand hovering on the release button for the door for a moment that goes on too long. I freeze as her eyes narrow. She punches the button, the door slides open and she walks out. I exhale a long breath.

“We’ll get to Banks.” I breathe. “Remember, seven minutes.”

Aiyana steps forward to the Hub entrance, fully visible. “Excuse me?”

Lambert looks up from his console.

“Hi. Sorry to interrupt, but could you help me?”

“How did you get in here?”

“Eh, through the door.”

“D’you have clearance for this project?”

“Your scanner let me in. I’m trying to get back to Area 9 – it’s my first day here. Can you show me where it is?”

“Well, I can’t leave my station, but I can tell you how to get there.”

“Would you mind just showing me? We’re in the middle of something and they expected me back fifteen minutes ago. I’ve already got lost twice and I don’t want to screw up on my first day.” She bites her lower lip a little and inclines her head. “Please?”

Lambert blushes. “Oh, okay. It’s not far.

“So what do you do in Area 9?” he asks as they walk past me.

She smiles mischievously. “You know I can’t tell you that.”

The partition slides closed behind them.

I minimise the pages on Lambert’s screen, pull up the Grid programs and begin the changes. I slide the Canadian Crippler into the USB port and link it to the trigger – the detection of Linux Scientific software uploading to the Grid. It’s cutting it fine, but will buy the most time for Cora. The scene unfolds as it has done in my mind over countless rehearsals. Haste will cost me time and mistakes, so I’m methodical, focused. A circle of dots chases itself on the screen.