The Empress's Tomb (36 page)

“Agree!” cried the table.

“Okay, Kaspar, it's your turn.”

“Well …” Kaspar glanced nervously at Betty. “This is harder than I thought. My name isn't Kaspar, it's Phineas
Parker. I ran away from home a few months ago. My parents are … well, they're hard to describe.”

“I know,” said Betty. “I've met them. We went to see them after you disappeared.”

“You did?” Kaspar's face flushed with embarrassment. “Whatever they said to you, I deeply apologize. They can be quite cruel.”

“You don't have to apologize,” Betty assured him. “We don't hold people responsible for their parents anymore.”

“Were they the psychologists Oona mentioned at the gala—the ones who gave Lester Liu the names of the Taiwanese kids?” DeeDee asked.

Kaspar nodded. “I'm sure I saw Oona's father at my parents' office before I ran away. I doubt they meant to do anything wrong. They're not the best parents in the world, but I don't think they're criminals. Now, do you mind if we move on? I'm curious to hear what secrets Betty has hidden.”

“My secret? Okay, here goes. I want all of you to know that I've decided to honor my deal with Kaspar. I'm going to have dinner with him—if that's still what he wants.”

“What about the …
you know what?”
Luz asked.

“What?” Betty asked in confusion.

“Eau Irresistible?” Luz whispered.

“My turn.” Oona quickly raised her hand. “Ananka and I
happened
to overhear a conversation about the first time Kaspar saw Betty. It was about a month before she spilled the Eau Irresistible.” Kaspar and Betty turned matching shades of red.

“I wouldn't say it's a secret, but there's something I probably should have told the rest of you earlier,” DeeDee broke in. “Iris did some more tests without me. The love perfume doesn't work. It never did.”

“I've got a crush on a boy who makes the deliveries for a falafel shop,” Iris admitted. “I practically took a bath in Eau Irresistible and he never looked twice at me. And I'm a really big tipper!”

“That's your secret?” Oona laughed.

“I'm eleven. Give me time,” Iris said.

“You know, one day soon, you're not going to need any perfume,” Kaspar told her, and Iris squirmed with pleasure.

“Luz?” Kiki prompted. “Anything you'd like to share?”

“Um, well, my name isn't really Luz Lopez. It's Amber White. I'm a forty-five-year-old dental technician from Toledo, and in my spare time I enjoy dressing up as Disney characters. I joined the Irregulars because I really like hanging around with fourteen-year-olds. I hope you guys won't hold it against me.”

DeeDee laughed so hard that coffee spurted from her nose.

“Okay, Luz,” Kiki said. “We get it. No secrets. Oona, anything else you'd like to tell the group?”

“Don't look at me, I'm one hundred percent clean. You guys know everything now.”

“Oh really?” Iris sang. “What about the lab coats? And the chemistry set?”

“Look who's a girl detective now,” said Oona. “Those aren't secrets. I figured I owed you a gift or two after I'd been so nasty. But you can send your thank-you note to Lester Liu—he paid for them.”

“All done?” Kiki asked. “Anyone got anything else on her chest?”

“There is something you should know, Oona,” I said softly. Everyone looked nervous. “When we broke out of the mansion, I think we had a little help.”

“Are you talking about the ghost?” Oona asked. “She's pretty handy to have around, isn't she? I wonder if Mrs. Fei would let her come haunt us.”

“Yeah, but there's something else. Sergei Molotov told us he threw all the food that night and made the noises for our bugs. If the mansion really does have a ghost, I don't think it's your mom.”

“Of course it isn't,” Oona said. “It's Cecelia Varney.”

“You know?” Betty asked.

“Sure. I figured it out when she showed me the secret room. I don't think she wanted me to end up the way she did—rich, lonely, and paranoid. I wish there was something I could do for her.”

“I think I know how to thank her,” said Kiki.

•     •     •

We left Fat Frankie's at ten p.m. Iris hailed a cab and sped off toward home, hoping the last of our Fille Fiable would help convince her parents that she'd gotten lost in the madness at the museum. The rest of us headed for Oona's house. There were still two tasks to finish before we went home to face our punishments. After all, those of us with parents might not see daylight until the new year. Most of the Irregulars put on a brave face, but Luz lost all color every time she thought of what her mother might have in store for her.

The smell of dumplings filled the stairwell of Oona's building, and we could hear people laughing inside the apartment. Yu, Siu Fah, and the other kidnapped kids were celebrating their freedom in the living room. They applauded as we entered the apartment and barraged Oona with questions. While she answered each one in Hakka, Kiki and I went to look for Verushka. We found her in the kitchen, hacking up a chicken. Though she leaned heavily on a crutch, Verushka was out of her wheelchair and her skin, while pale, looked remarkably human. Mrs. Fei's herbs had brought her back from the brink of death.

“Kiki! Ananka!” Veruskha put down her cleaver, limped across the room, and threw her arms around both of us. “The children told us about the mummy and the museum. Did everything go as planned?”

“Does anything ever go as planned?” I asked. “I'm happy to see you looking so healthy, Verushka. Do you feel as good as you look?”

“Oh yes,” Verushka confirmed. “Mrs. Fei is an excellent doctor. But I am thinking it would be better to be dead.” Kiki looked horrified and started to object, but Verushka silenced her. “Listen to me, Katarina. If Livia believes I am dead, we will have the advantage again.”

“The element of surprise?” Kiki asked. “I hadn't thought of that.”

“We must find a way to let people believe I am gone.”

“But you don't have to worry about Livia and Sidonia,” I said. “They won't be coming back to New York now that we've destroyed their plans.”

Verushka patted me on the shoulder. “We must teach you to play chess soon,” she said. “That way you will learn to think ahead. We must always worry about Livia and Sidonia. They have made their move, and now we must make ours. We will force them to return to New York.”

“Why?” I asked, just as Mrs. Fei emerged from the pantry with her arms filled with cans.

“Where is Wang?” the old woman asked anxiously when she saw us. “Is she safe?”

“She's in the living room,” I assured her. “And Lester Liu is in jail.”

“Talking about me again?” Mrs. Fei's mouth snapped shut as Oona pushed through the door. “Go ahead, Mrs. Fei, practice your English.” Oona folded her arms across her chest and waited for the old woman to speak.

“I am sorry. I learned English because you never tell me anything. I just wanted to keep you safe.”

Oona dropped her arms and picked a carrot up off the counter. She bit off the tip and chewed casually.

“You would like us to leave?” Verushka asked.

“No, you can stay. I don't have anything to hide anymore. You know, Mrs. Fei, a ghost once told me that someone was always listening. It took me a while to figure out she meant you.”

“A ghost? You spoke to your mother?” Mrs. Fei whispered.

Oona thought for a moment. “I'm not sure if it was my mother,” she confessed. “I'm not even sure it was a ghost. But whoever it was knew what she was talking about. She
said I had to make a choice to leave something behind. If I did, I'd have everything I ever desired.”

Mrs. Fei looked confused. “But Ananka says that Lester Liu is in jail. How can he give you everything you want?”

“I don't want more money or a mansion. I don't even care about all the fancy clothes and jewelry anymore. Those were the things I chose to leave behind. I realized all I ever wanted was for someone to want
me.
I wasted too much time hoping it would be my father.”

Mrs. Fei attempted to console her. “I tried to warn you. Lester Liu is a bad man.”

Oona nodded. “I think I always knew that. I was confused for a little while, but deep down I always knew he couldn't have changed. When the ghost told me that I had to do my duty I thought that meant putting Lester Liu in jail. But that's not what she meant at all. She wanted me to do my duty to
you.”

“To me?” Mrs. Fei asked.

“You're the only mother I've ever had. You're the best mother I could have had. You didn't have to take care of me. You did it because you wanted to. I should have figured that out a long time ago. That way I might have spent less time feeling sorry for myself for what I
didn't
have and more time appreciating what I
did
. I'm so sorry. You deserved a better daughter.”

Tears coursed down the old woman's wrinkles, and Oona bent down and wrapped her in a hug. “You are a good girl, Wang,” Mrs. Fei sobbed.

“I'm glad you think so, but I still prefer Oona.”

“Blunt as ever,” I laughed.

“Where do you think I get it from?” Oona asked. “By the way, I have one question, Mrs. Fei. There was a girl at the museum tonight. Lester Liu introduced her as his daughter. Is that possible? Could she be related to me?”

Mrs. Fei blew her nose and wiped the tears from her face. “The other baby died.”

“Other baby?”

“Your mother was very sick. The babies came too early. Lester Liu did not want to call a doctor. His house was filled with things he had smuggled. I was the only person who knew what to do. I tried to save you both. But Lili didn't survive. When I took you, I left her with your mother.”

Oona steadied herself against the counter. “I had a twin sister?”

“Lili?” Kiki asked.

It's not always easy to know which secrets need to be shared—and which should be kept at all costs. Since I'm prone to confusing the two, I consulted the most ethical people I know and put together this handy guide. Now, whenever I feel a secret dangling on the tip of my tongue, I just ask myself these seven simple questions.

Want to try it out? Take a moment and think of the biggest secret you know …

1. Is the secret nice and juicy?

It doesn't really matter. I was just curious. No, don't tell me. Just move on to question 2.

2. Will sharing the secret bring down an evil dictator, solve a dastardly crime, or put a bad guy behind bars?

If your answer is
yes
, you should definitely share it. But be sure to confide in the right people. There are spies everywhere.

If your answer is
no
, proceed to question 3.

3. Will harm come to you or someone else if the secret is kept?

If the answer is yes, any self-respecting heroine would find the courage to spill the beans.

If
no
, go to question 4.

4. Will someone be harmed if the secret is told?

There's too much pain and suffering in the world as it is, so if your answer is yes, odds are you should keep your lips sealed.

If no, keep going to question 5.

5. Could good things come from sharing the secret?

If the answer is yes, a virtuous person would let the cat out of the bag. In some situations, keeping a secret that should be shared can be as bad as blabbing one that shouldn't.

If the answer is
no
, go to question 6.

6. Does the secret belong to another person?

If you've gotten this far and your answer is yes, you should seriously consider keeping your trap shut.

If
no
, please continue.

7. Is your secret likely to be revealed?

This is a trick question. All secrets will be revealed someday. You'll have more control over the situation if you go ahead and share your secret before someone else beats you to it. Keep in mind that the longer a secret is kept, the more damage it can do.

8. Is your secret particularly embarrassing?

If yes, you can take your chances and keep it to yourself. (But always keep question 7 in mind.)

If you've reached the end of this questionnaire and your answer is
no
, you probably have a pretty dull secret, unless …

9. Have you discovered a hidden treasure, alien spacecraft, or lost city?

If
yes
, feel free to share your secret with me.

Early the next morning, while the sluggish winter sun inched above the East River, the Irregulars said our good-byes on the slippery, ice-coated stoop of Oona's building. Kaspar, Betty, and I set off to find Howard Van Dyke and the six-toed kitten. Kiki and the others were on their way to the Marble Cemetery. DeeDee had spent the evening crafting a batch of her trademark explosives, and before the day was over, the Shadow City would be just a little bit smaller.

I stopped off to pick up some breakfast for Howard, but when we reached the park and shook the snow from his hideout, we found it deserted. Kaspar's squirrels raced inside to feast on a half-eaten can of beans, stirring a storm of feathers and leaves.

“I don't understand.” Kaspar's eyes scanned the nearby trees as if expecting to find his friend perched on a branch. “Howard's always here in the morning. He likes to sleep in.”

“You didn't see him last night when you came for the squirrels?” I asked. I wished we had checked on Howard earlier. The weather had gotten far too cold for a feral stockbroker.