The End or Something Like That (17 page)

When it was over and I was shaking, he said, “I'm sorry.”

And I laughed. “You don't have to say sorry.”

I looked at my watch. 5:48. On the dot.

I looked up at the sky.

He looked with me.

We stood there. For a minute. For more than a minute, and for the first time, in a long time, I felt free. I felt happy. I felt alive.

I knew she knew. I knew it. And she was happy, too.

“I think it's going to be okay,” I said.

He nodded. “I think so, too.”

We walked down the two-lane highway toward town.

Barefoot.

And holding hands.

My whole body felt like it was on fire. I had never held hands with a boy before.

I had never seen ghosts before.

I'd never said good-bye to my friend before.

“So,” he said, “I looked up Saltair.”

I smiled. “I did, too.”

“Did you see they play shows there now?”

“No,” I said. “I didn't see that.”

“Yeah,” he said. “They had Paramore last week. And Fun is playing in August.”

I started laughing.“Fun? Are you serious?”

“What?”

“Nothing,” I said. I couldn't explain.

Then he said, “I thought we could take a road trip one day. Go see a show.”

It sounded so perfect. So real. So not me. And of course my mom would never let me go on a road trip with a boy, but I didn't say that. Instead I said, “Yes. We should.”

And he smiled.

I smiled too.

And that was it.

• Acknowledgments
•

This novel happened with the help and support of many people:

My agent, Edward Necarsulmer IV, for his enthusiasm and grace.

My editor, Nancy Conescu, for her patience and compassion for pretend people.

My father, Larry Vinson Knight, for always believing in me.

My family, all of them. Who took care of my babies and me while I worked to finish this book.

My readers, Dan Knight, Larry Knight, Katy Knight, Holly Wever, Ally Condie, Kathy Knudsen, Millie Soelberg, Megan Castagnetto, Shelby Russell, Jen White, Janessa Ransom, Carol Lynch Williams, Cheri Earl, Ann Cannon, Heather Dixon, Shar Peterson, Chris Crowe, and more for being willing to read bad bad drafts of a crazytown story.

My sweet husband, Mr. Cameron, who is always there for me.

And of course, Ms. Homeyer. RIP.